Finding Myself Again

Journals - Major Programs
#168

That’s the end of Cycle 3, time for a washout.

I’ve been a little more quiet, maybe overwhelmed by my stack’s effects - inner calm is now normal, not an event; happiness as a state is unreasonably starting to build up within and I like it. Wanted training has me seeing things that seem impossible - manifesting women everywhere in train spaces and parks.

It’s also time to retire DRLD - a sub I’ll miss nearly as much as the old PCC for its impact. DRLD destroyed everything, left nothing to chance and cleaned decades of mess with ease, leaving me a new man.

Genesis Joy will form the foundation of the next cycle - once the empty house has been stripped, it’s time to shine a light on the foundations and give it a nice bright colour. And let’s throw in New Wanted. Just Because. Past failures can now be overwritten with positive experiences.

@Lion @Parsifal :green_heart:

2 Likes
#169

A Wanted washout worry

I don’t want to run Wanted anymore.

What’s the point of being the hot guy if males look at you with anger thinking you’re about to move in on his woman?

What’s the point of women think you’re already partnered and they look disappointed?

What’s the point being shown all the riches of what this sub promises then gets taken away on washout?

When others think you’re “elite” (not average), you’re on a top of a very lonely hill with others looking and protecting theirs. I don’t want your chick, but you think I am. I am single but you think I’m taken.
What a performative mess. At least Genesis: Joy has some self benefit for me only.

To continue or drop it?

#170

Sounds like recon. Resolving some of those internal conflicts.

I never got the male anger from Wanted. But I recall some situations of what you’re talking about as well on other titles. I think those are the guys who are stuck in the fight of flight or fight. I had some guys who saw me as a challenge and it’s like they were drawn to that and wouldn’t back down. Luckily I never exchanged words with them.

Another reason I dropped Limiting People Remover into my newest custom. Just to hopefully mitigate that kind of stuff. There are a few titles that sort of spread the positive vibes, and seems like you found your companion title, Genesis: Joy.

I’m on CFW and I think it helps with the positive attention aspect from all sexes. I think there are a few title options that do that. Heard good things about Primal, and Emperor Daddy etc.

Also, sometimes it seems like the only way to get a woman interested is if you have the vibe that you’re taken. But I’d say give Wanted some more time.

When I tried Wanted I think it made me find women attractive that I wouldn’t normally find attractive. Like I had an old boss, I was seeing her as a possibility but then when she talked I realized she was kind of complain-y and on that negative wave. Also felt like I needed more internal “work” so I didn’t run it too long. I had other more foundational things to work on. Speaking of, new GLM, that’s worth a look. Respect from men and good vibes, sound like a winner.

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#171

It’s interesting you mention it’s recon, can it happen on a washout? I assumed recon only existed whilst on a cycle and it was more sneaky, rather than saying fuck the world, I’m getting off.

Yeah Wanted is scaring other men who lean towards aggression and fighting their problems out. This also happened on Khan a few years ago when even the police lashed out simply for walking past them. Maybe my aura and presence isn’t matching the body and brain just yet.

The weird thing is Genesis: Joy is starting to take effect and is breathing life and happiness into my soul, but at the same time Wanted has made life lonely as hell with all the projections. This is why I guess the top tier people (in money, fitness, dating, creativity etc) have smaller circles. (Leo North Node also says leave the crowds and shine out by myself).

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#172

Lol yep. Codename: Umbra is a good module too for the invisibility to dangerous individuals effect.

I got Survival Instinct and am able to feel more safe. That’s where the module must’ve come from.

I read about somebody on SI who was invisible to ticket checkers on their daily train rides too. They didn’t get hassled anymore and they just went under the radar and could just mind their own business.

3 Likes
#173

Something to think about when/if things go really left. Personally am not threatened by anyone wanting to knock me out, but that’s twice some dude thought about doing something to me, but never actually stepped over that line…

I personally think it was ego trying to throw one last ditch attempt to stop progress on DRLD but since it’s washout it has no chance. The boy has collapsed and that’s the last of its existence.

In it’s place, "selfish joy", meaning I’m not trying to chase women’s approval like a starving boy, I’m grown up and currently high on my own supply. It’s great not needing outside confirmation to behave, I just do.

3 Likes
#174

End of washout and stack plans

Feeling a lot easier and lighter since releasing more bodily trauma from my system with HemiSync Focus 10 and other modalities. Wanted and Joy are working a treat so much that both myself and the women I meet are benefitting:

  • I feel like I can safely and boldly express myself for the first time since childhood - I visited a gallery and felt confident and grounded enough to engage in a conversation with two female artists. I let the group speak amongst themselves for a good while before the first female artist asked me, then I shared my opinion, which was well received. So much so that the other woman artist could not help staring at me with doe eyes :eyes:

That leads onto New Wanted and my previous relationship. Happened on a YouTube tarot reading read by Christina (Intuitive Insights) and aside from her being hot, she managed to describe the dynamic of my last relationship, which was we weren’t ready for each other, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Learning from that experience and other friendzone patterns, using DRLD to burn off maternal trauma, I’m now ready to experience myself anew and have newer interesting times ahead.

.

@anon78457040 hat tip, I’m 44 btw

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#175

And am the same age as you. Makes sense cause the angels Michel and Raphael were made at the same time lol.

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#176

Enjoy the ride, mate.

Life is beautiful, and it’s ours alone, not because we deserve it but because it’s our birth right.

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#177

New stack: New WANTED + Genesis: Joy

#178

Do you have any difficult about a month in with a title when you feel a huge drift between old and new and suddenly resist all results, can’t think properly, have headaches, get frustrated and think it is not working?

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#179

It’s
R E C O N C I L I A T I O N.

#180

You only had it in the beginning? For me its just neverending…

#181

Presumably you’ve done a Washout and rest days?

#182

Yes often have taken long periods off, three weeks and more. Lots of rest days but it has never resolved the problem for me, it anything it seems to reset me back to the beginning of the work.

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#183

Definitely some deeper things going on with me right now.

Just want to kindly apologise for taking this into your journal. Was just feeling a little desperate for clarity earlier but the needed clarity, out of literally nowhere, has descended upon me!

But I see you already made a new one so for an ending note for this journal I think it is worth mentioning you have done such a wonderful job of taking yourself through an inner transformation in the last few months and that you are an inspiration for others!

I hope you have found yourself! :slight_smile:

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#184

Your reconciliation story doesn’t seem normal to me, to be suffering throughout the cycle and afterwards. Saint might say that there are deeper subconscious “structures” at play preventing even the possibility of the sub achieving its aims, but as I don’t know what’s going on inside your mind, maybe your run of GLM might help you detach from the idea of healing and grounding yourself. I think you were already using GLM with success?

But yeah, maybe a spin of DRLD might help also?

Cheers for the wishes. :pray:

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#185

Yes definitely it is not normal. Something different is going on just trying to figure out what!

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#186

@RVconsultant could you lock off this awesome thread please?

#187