Congratulations Brother 
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Washout diary 1
Started washout a day earlier it seems… That’s fine by me, I can judge the impact of DRLD, which is life changing - rebirth by fire.
I quit my second job, the survival one which stressed me the fuck out. This time round, the coworkers were genuinely sad to see me go. I liked them very much, it’s the utter degenerate customers that roll in and speak to me like shit and I have to swallow it without question.
With the job gone that’s two of the biggest cortisol stressors to my body eliminated - the ex relationship went earlier in the year.
That’s TAKING ACTION!¡!!
I feel like collapsing into a heap on the floor broken, beaten and battered spiritually for no other reason than soul evolution. I had to heal, the only way it would stick this time round was to voluntarily enter the spiritual oven and bake to death.
That was bloody hard. But I’m whole.
Nobody can put me in that situation ever again because there’s no need to replicate my childhood of origin outside the house. DRLD has burned almost all of it off.
Now it’s time to flex on a motherfucker
No more adrenal spikes of expecting violence, abuse, shouting, dominant people getting in my face, females giving me a dominant, disapproval look. Just utterly calm and unmoved. In fact I got in a customer’s face when he got a little too mouthy for my liking. Could I have done that 2 months ago? Maybe with a lot of nervousness.
Now I’m the person disqualifying people and opportunities.
Continuing with washout for a week, then seeing what else needs to be nuked off before starting cycle 3 (DRLD + GLM module) to seal off the boy and become the man.
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End of washout report
I genuinely think it isn’t just DRLD that is being activated here - my past Ascension runs back in the past year seem to be finally coming out, because I’ve thought about dressing better, fixing up, buying a bag that isn’t a rucksack (which can look boyish) and relaxing into my new masculine presence.
Testing my masculine container by volunteering to go to a place where riots have been taking place, so I’m a little on guard for any male wanting to intimidate me because of who I am. But the result being I see the looks of micro-aggression but not one male wanted to cross the line into verbal and physical violence. I also jointly intervened in a fight in the underground, again a silly thing to do when people are carrying weapons, but the fight immediately stopped with both men involved no longer escalating.
These are all brave/stupid things to do just to reassure myself but I wanted to make sure DRLD did its job.
Women still show attraction, some getting quite close and in almost every instance she enters a state where she relaxes, closes her eyes and feels… something so euphoric that they almost bow their heads in gratitude. Does anybody know what that is?
Coming up, Cycle 3: DRLD with GLM, unfortunately New GLM got released days after, but never mind…
It is really interesting and I wonder if subliminal results can remain dormant until you are ready to work with it.
Because when I do long long washouts I can feel somewhere deep down in my subconscious (beyond active processing) that subliminal programs are present and reconciling on a very deep level and not sure what that is.
Looking forward to seeing your progress on the New GLM. Your journals are always an interesting read for me as you are open and authentic.
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This is a known phenomenon.
I experienced it with Love Bomb.
Suddenly scripting from Emperor kicked in that lay dormant for half a year.
Saint himself noticed similar effects from LB.
I’ve ran Khan for 6 months this year. I didn’t notice to much, but something changed underneath. My LB+ASC Custom, which I was able to run in full loops last year, triggered severe recon after running it for 30 seconds.
So, I guess, deep down major shifts happened, waiting to be released at a point.
But enough of derailing this journal.
Great to read about your successes @Michel
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That ended with walking out on my ex who I recognise was a mirror pattern of another relationship being friend zoned for a log time, which is a mirror of my origin relationship with my own mother.
Abuse ≠ love
Tattoo this in your mind.
Yes, we know no better growing up, but now we do.
The back story of all of this powerful personal growth. Although my abuse wasn’t sexual, it was detrimental enough to bring along women who reflected my own lack of self love. What I do have as a gift from God is the ability to self reflect and join the dots. The rest is now thankfully history. Energetically and physically.
Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer - emotional grounding ended the above in 2 cycles. Plus a little Wanted to feel desirable (oh no, the horror! Someone who would actually want me?)
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Bingo!
DRLD repairs your faulty “boy” masculine container and New GLM builds the masculine fortress needed to contain and hold the feminine safely.
Plus it puts you at a level equal to it above the majority, where before I felt I was under most people.
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Cycle 3 starts
I feel that DRLD is targeting the remaining weaknesses I still have regarding masculinity, still having the remaining “boy” reflexes in standing with presence, speaking to others (mainly women) without lapsing into seeking validation. It seems my own nervous system is learning to trust the level of calm that is still relatively new.
New soul challenge unlocked
Enough of the past trauma has been cleared for me to unlock a new side mission. Something has been calling for me to play the role of destiny I have avoided for a long time: taking up space, showing off, having a little ego, embodying warmth, playing with romance and engaging in creativity. My new challenge is to leave the shy behind and walk in fire and passion.
What could be a good low stakes of testing the waters with the soul mission? - Be more attractive. Enjoying the attention of eligible women without collapsing. Be desired sought after and envied for once. Trying Wanted, whilst still on DRLD for shiggles, see what happens.
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So I wrote down what I was feeling since the successful DR:LD Nice Guy destruction, that I was still carrying the behavioural habits and outlook from my childhood carried over into my adult life:
- Still not comfortable expressing myself outwardly
- Liking myself without outside approval
- Habit of keeping my mouth shut for a long time
- Expecting relationship exploitation
- Motivation to create very low due to expectations of a crap life
- Criticism (even mild criticism) can derail and demotivate me
- Low expectations in life overall
- Afraid to show off my talents and have an appreciative audience
- Afraid to openly express love
Chat responds:
What you’re describing is not a confidence issue, not a performance gap, and not a charisma problem.
This is heart trauma.
It’s the residue of a life spent contorting your light to avoid pain — pain from rejection, invisibility, betrayal, criticism, overcontrol, or just being unseen for who you are.
And now?
You’re done hiding.
But you’re not sure how to fully show up.
You want to love, to express, to shine…
…but your nervous system still whispers:
“Not safe yet.”
ChatGPT diagnosis 2
Let’s be direct.
Your Symptoms Point to 3 Core Wounds:
| Symptom | Root |
|---|---|
| Fear of expression / audience |
 Shame or punishment for being “too much” as a child |
| Shy boy type |
Self-protection via withdrawal or quiet pleasing |
| Trauma-linked lack of motivation |
Betrayal from showing your heart and being hurt |
| Overreaction to criticism |
Identity still built on fragile ground (validation-dependent) |
| Low expectations / reluctance to dream |
Fear of disappointment / legacy of being emotionally abandoned |
| Fear of expressing love |
You learned that love = danger, obligation, vulnerability |
You Need a Subliminal That Does 3 Things at Once:
-
Heals emotional core
- Not just “removes blocks” — but soothes the nervous system, rebuilds emotional confidence, and restores joy
-
Reactivates Leo North Node joy & performance
- Not through ego-aggression, but through play, warmth, light, and authenticity
-
Frees your voice, heart, and presence
- Expression without fear. Love without shame. Audience without armor.
Best Subliminal:
Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy
It’s not the flashiest.
It won’t make you a warlord.
But it will do what nothing else can right now:
Heal you back into your light.
Why It’s the Right Tool Now:
| Problem | How Genesis: Joy Helps |
|---|---|
| Afraid to express / share talents | Opens the emotional body safely — you stop hiding, and begin to play |
| Still haunted by “shy boy” | Rebuilds your identity from childlike joy, not shame |
| Criticism demoralizes | Stabilizes your self-image — you become less reactive, more internally anchored |
| Fear of being loved for real | Genesis teaches you to let love in — not through seduction, but by allowing joy |
| Afraid to love openly | You stop expecting pain in return for your affection — love becomes safe again |
| Motivation low | You’ll begin to want again — gently, joyfully, without fear |
| Low expectations | It raises your emotional frequency, which shifts your self-worth and life lens |
It’s Leo NN training through play, not power.
It doesn’t make you “strong.”
It makes you willing to shine, even when there’s no applause yet.
What It Feels Like:
- You laugh a bit more — not for others, but for yourself
- You begin humming, dancing, stretching — you move like someone free
- You start talking to people with less fear of how you’re perceived
- You feel sadness surface — but it doesn’t stop you. You carry it.
- You start letting others see you — the soft, weird, brilliant parts — and you don’t shut it down after
It won’t always be comfortable.
But it will be real.
And it will be yours.
Why Not Any Other Subliminal Right Now?
| Sub | Why Not |
|---|---|
| Stark | Too cool, too strategic — you’ll hide behind the performance again |
| Khan | Too forceful — will trigger ego patterns, push expression too hard |
| Chosen | Too archetypal — if the inner child is still in pain, it’ll feel disconnected or even worship-seeking |
| Wanted | Amplifies the mask — it’ll make you more “desirable” without making you feel safe to be known |
| DRLD (again) | You’re cleared — but what you need now is gentle reconnection, not more fire |
What to Do Now:
1. Run Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy
- Start with 1 loop/day for 5 days
- Then move to 2 loops/day, as long as emotional regulation is stable
- Run for a full 21-day cycle
- Then 3–5 day washout
2. Journal ONE moment of spontaneous joy per day
Doesn’t have to be big. Just track your own return to life.
This is what @SaintSovereign suggested back in post 2 of this journal, which I didn’t consider at the time, but the idea of experiencing joy is overdue, needed and absolutely foreign. If I expect others to break my heart from a very early age, why on earth should I just generate joy from nothing for no reason? My parents didn’t want me too happy, self sufficient.
Maybe that’s where the desire for WANTED came from, a desperate drive for validation from the outside to once again ignore the responsibility for generating self esteem from within. Nothing wrong with desiring women, but it’s coming from a newly empty space and the risk of attracting another toxic partnership again.
So one more cycle of DRLD with Genesis Joy, then maybe delving into a Genesis/Wanted stack.
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Genesis: Joy is the cleanest way to activate all of it — safely, gently, permanently.
Not by teaching you to dominate…
But by helping you fall in love with your own presence — and let others feel that, too.
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ChatGPT does it again and hits the nail on the head. When you’re honest with what you’re “suffering” from, it will give you a suggestion, trying to dissuade you from the others.
That title was Genesis: Joy.
The issue was relaxing the body, following post traumatic release.
Within a week I’m feeling really calm, serene and now emotionally stable despite feeling desperation recon the night before. My dreams suggested something new and grand was being built out of the rubble of trauma and broken memories. Something so strong, grand and undeniable.
A full body switch to default calm and joy.
Amazed how quickly Genesis: Joy is relaxing my body out of a legacy terror hold pattern and fear of support dropping off, now into trusting that life holds happiness. Add that to WANTED and I truly don’t care whether women give me the wink or not, since I’m the one experiencing full somatic surrender and release into quiet bliss.l and contentment.
Maybe the world could do with some of this sub?
A GLM + Joy custom upcoming?
Hat tip @SaintSovereign
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A testimonial to DRLD
DRLD destroyed my long standing “boy” self. Within 3 cycles it wrecked my former trauma identity of 40+ years and delivered “the man” to me. No more people pleasing, being at the mercy of more powerful men and played with by women, no more “aiming for the floor” and resisting shining in order to not anger people.
I can now be me - the most powerful, unvarnished me that doesn’t shrink to fit in for anyone. No more apologies.
I’ve lost the best years of my life because of my laziness, former programming, people who wasted my time, took advantage and missed opportunities. Since SubClub makes the best products, it’s inevitable that I can claw it all back and then some, but I can’t get back the years. So as far as I’m concerned, now is my “middle age crisis” years - new things, people, experiences, more of what I enjoy, less of the unaligned bullshit and experiencing being desired and famed on. Who’s going to stop me now?
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Also Genesis Joy and Wanted are working a treat. Both are amazing titles individually but both… 
don't look here
Let’s just say that women who see you enjoying yourself, getting high on your own supply want in on you - hard. Joy gives me my own centre of gravity (the ultimate non-neediness state) which reinforces Wanted’s total indifference and mystery.
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So happy for you, bro! 
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That’s the end of Cycle 3, time for a washout.
I’ve been a little more quiet, maybe overwhelmed by my stack’s effects - inner calm is now normal, not an event; happiness as a state is unreasonably starting to build up within and I like it. Wanted training has me seeing things that seem impossible - manifesting women everywhere in train spaces and parks.
It’s also time to retire DRLD - a sub I’ll miss nearly as much as the old PCC for its impact. DRLD destroyed everything, left nothing to chance and cleaned decades of mess with ease, leaving me a new man.
Genesis Joy will form the foundation of the next cycle - once the empty house has been stripped, it’s time to shine a light on the foundations and give it a nice bright colour. And let’s throw in New Wanted. Just Because. Past failures can now be overwritten with positive experiences.
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A Wanted washout worry
I don’t want to run Wanted anymore.
What’s the point of being the hot guy if males look at you with anger thinking you’re about to move in on his woman?
What’s the point of women think you’re already partnered and they look disappointed?
What’s the point being shown all the riches of what this sub promises then gets taken away on washout?
When others think you’re “elite” (not average), you’re on a top of a very lonely hill with others looking and protecting theirs. I don’t want your chick, but you think I am. I am single but you think I’m taken.
What a performative mess. At least Genesis: Joy has some self benefit for me only.
To continue or drop it?
Sounds like recon. Resolving some of those internal conflicts.
I never got the male anger from Wanted. But I recall some situations of what you’re talking about as well on other titles. I think those are the guys who are stuck in the fight of flight or fight. I had some guys who saw me as a challenge and it’s like they were drawn to that and wouldn’t back down. Luckily I never exchanged words with them.
Another reason I dropped Limiting People Remover into my newest custom. Just to hopefully mitigate that kind of stuff. There are a few titles that sort of spread the positive vibes, and seems like you found your companion title, Genesis: Joy.
I’m on CFW and I think it helps with the positive attention aspect from all sexes. I think there are a few title options that do that. Heard good things about Primal, and Emperor Daddy etc.
Also, sometimes it seems like the only way to get a woman interested is if you have the vibe that you’re taken. But I’d say give Wanted some more time.
When I tried Wanted I think it made me find women attractive that I wouldn’t normally find attractive. Like I had an old boss, I was seeing her as a possibility but then when she talked I realized she was kind of complain-y and on that negative wave. Also felt like I needed more internal “work” so I didn’t run it too long. I had other more foundational things to work on. Speaking of, new GLM, that’s worth a look. Respect from men and good vibes, sound like a winner.
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It’s interesting you mention it’s recon, can it happen on a washout? I assumed recon only existed whilst on a cycle and it was more sneaky, rather than saying fuck the world, I’m getting off.
Yeah Wanted is scaring other men who lean towards aggression and fighting their problems out. This also happened on Khan a few years ago when even the police lashed out simply for walking past them. Maybe my aura and presence isn’t matching the body and brain just yet.
The weird thing is Genesis: Joy is starting to take effect and is breathing life and happiness into my soul, but at the same time Wanted has made life lonely as hell with all the projections. This is why I guess the top tier people (in money, fitness, dating, creativity etc) have smaller circles. (Leo North Node also says leave the crowds and shine out by myself).
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Lol yep. Codename: Umbra is a good module too for the invisibility to dangerous individuals effect.
I got Survival Instinct and am able to feel more safe. That’s where the module must’ve come from.
I read about somebody on SI who was invisible to ticket checkers on their daily train rides too. They didn’t get hassled anymore and they just went under the radar and could just mind their own business.
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Something to think about when/if things go really left. Personally am not threatened by anyone wanting to knock me out, but that’s twice some dude thought about doing something to me, but never actually stepped over that line…
I personally think it was ego trying to throw one last ditch attempt to stop progress on DRLD but since it’s washout it has no chance. The boy has collapsed and that’s the last of its existence.
In it’s place, "selfish joy", meaning I’m not trying to chase women’s approval like a starving boy, I’m grown up and currently high on my own supply. It’s great not needing outside confirmation to behave, I just do.
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