Finding my True North

[Malkuth]

I’ve stopped counting the amount of ordinary women turning heads, gazing, fixing their shades, flipping hair etc.

AND I DON’T CARE!

I’m still not chasing y’all. Sorry.

Done been beaten up, chewed up, spat out. Been through the flames of hell with failed cyclical relationships that fell short.

No more heavy burdens.

It’s my StarkQ time. I want my own life. I want my own centre of gravity. I’m happy and fulfilled.

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

[Michel]

@friday @malkuth grazie.

The formula for life really should be this simple:

1. Handle your own shit first.
2. Everything else.

[Michel]

And now - the secret addition to StarkQ. EmperorQ

How do I describe EmperorQ?
Solid as a rock.
Not as rough and aggressive like I was expecting. Goes very smoothly with StarkQ.

Early results

• Getting respect: bus doors open where I’m standing. “after you, sir” “Hello sir…”

• Getting shit done: pushing through extremely mundane tasks without delaying them, encouraging self talk

• Getting women interested: I suppose? Not really looking. Not chasing either.

• Inner focus: less on others, more on myself. Had this issue with Ascension, fearing being more “selfish” and not concerned with others. I’ll need to watch this one.

Several weird dreams on EmperorQ: animals, one by one crossing the road outside my infant school. One horse pulling a cart is dragging three other horses along on the ground.

The number 616 is following me around: waking up, going home, even this thread last had 616 replies. Dafuq?

[emperor_obewan]

Getting respect : bus doors open where I’m standing. “after you, sir” “Hello sir…”

That’s one thing I’ve seen so far too. Women and men, holding doors long enough that that they’ve stopped moving for me, an Asian woman with a trundle cart holding the door open with difficulty at the office building for me while managing their unwieldy cart, people deferring to me to walk through automatic doors first, etc. Almost comical.

[Michel]

It’s remarkable. I thought the name Emperor was a marketing gimmick but it will really turn a man into a King. I’ll be careful not to turn others into my subjects…

Course this means some of the hate returns: can’t be a monarch without challengers afraid of losing theirs…

[Michel]

From the Nice Guy thread:

Which sub(s) work directly on the "Nice Guy" syndrome?

• I see myself as a “good” person
• My needs and wants don’t matter.
• Others needs are more important than mine.
• My existence is for others.
• I must not be selfish, that’s bad.
• My mother’s needs supercedes mine.
• I must please mother so I can get her “love”
• Everybody is as kind and open as me.
• I put in the work and expect others to pay me back equal.
• If someone dislikes me, I must try harder to get them to like me.

Let’s update this for May 2020, shall we?

• I see myself as a “boss” and so do others
• My needs and wants do matter
• Others needs and wants are their responsibility, not mine
• My existence is between me and God
• It’s alright to be “selfish”
• My mother is a grown woman who can look after herself
• Mother can please her damn self
• Everybody is looking out for themselves, then others
• I put in the work for my self and my future.
• If someone dislikes me (rare, I know), they can go fuck themselves

Two months and a mandated shutdown has changed a lot. StarkQ by itself has been the single most important factor in this 180º change. Goodbye Mr Nice Guy, hello Me.

I’d also been lost without PCC: 5 months listening time gives me x-ray vision and defensive social skills for dickheads.

Then add EmperorQ to this…?

[Michel]

EmperorQ paired up with StarkQ is fucking boss.

I’m walking around as if I own the damn place. Women see my total masculine dominance and covertly want some of this. A beautiful Persian nurse kept giving me looks, no spontaneous openings just yet.

Still no gym reopening anytime soon, so working on eating healthier and on letting go of the past using other methods.

Post lockdown life is still in suspension. Don’t know what the future holds, but I’m sure it won’t be “back to normal”

[Michel]

Trying on the Emperor’s New Clothes

With EmperorQ I can feel myself taking control of shit. When a colleague of mine was wailing and hand wringing over my incomplete dinner menu notes (sometimes you cannot ask a patient directly for various reasons) I recited the whole thing in a louder, more commanding voice.

I do not tolerate people who go off on me for trivial bullshit. Either find the initiative or the balls to correct it yourself - or shut the fuck up and calm the fuck down.

I’m a charmer but give me attitude and I will not let you dominate me. No fucking way.

These are the Emperor’s New clothes. It’s softer with StarkQ but I do like it a lot. Complete mastery over life, a low tolerance for other’s bullshit and bitches shape up.

[Michel]

Ok, EmperorQ is starting to take over my personality, I’m getting pissed off with certain people that are ignorant/haughty and I may explode in and at them.

Is there a way to temper this down? Does “freedom from helicopter parents” need to be so harsh? I’m running 1 loop per night with StarkQ.

[emperor_obewan]

I experienced the anger at trivial things during the first week or so of running Emperor Q. I honestly think it’s a reconciliation symptom, it tempers itself down after a while. I found myself getting angry at trivial stuff at work, with my girl, and with existing limitations of my situation. Maybe it has to do with releasing rather than holding on to anger and negativity.

[Michel]

@emperor_obewan that’s it, good ol’ reconciliation. Trying to avoid whatever is changing within. Not expressing anger and keeping it inside - like having Nice Guy Syndrome.

[Sigma11]

Holy shit bro @Michel …awesome journey. Just finished reading 625 pages of your Khan beginning till end. But I also got questions, seemed like you saw difference in your behavior just 2-3 days after starting a new sub, how’s that possible? If you stop a sub it’s benefits fade looks like? Cause you kept going back and forth on PCC and Khan mostly. I’m new btw been couple days running ascension + Regeneration than PCC alternating 2 days for them. Also do you listen to ultrasonic or masked? And what volume

[Michel]

@Sigma11 Thanks.

The back and forth was because of not dealing with past unresolved issues. Nothing to do with fading results. You’ll always keep what you’ve built, like a tree with its many branches.

This is also back in the day when you so had to listen 8 hours, not like now with Q. AscensionQ is a beast of a sub

Always masked, low volume, using a pair of sleep phones. Ultrasonic I just can’t.

[pacman]

How would you compare ascended mogul to ascension?does it lose alpha aspects?

[Michel]

Nope. It’s the same sub, one with added money management.

[Michel]

Putting the foot down

EmperorQ is really starting to kick in. All of a sudden I’m fiercely determined to get through the workday without anyone disrespecting me or my working style. Unfortunately I got sidetracked by the complaining coworker who told me not to move her bowls. Couldn’t stand up for myself, just froze.

So remembering my own telling off, I took that lesson and decided to install some kitchen discipline by tidying shit up and enforcing rules. Even on the nurses.

I caught somebody making an illegal cutting across the kitchen to another ward. And I put my foot down. I told her off.
Except the person I told off happened to be the manager of the ward!

She came back to applaud me for doing so. Success.

A second nurse did the same thing whilst excusing herself. “I know you’re not supposed to do this”. Angrily I snapped “so why are you doing it, then?”. She shouted back “BECAUSE…”.

To those on the fence regarding EmperorQ.

EmperorQ is a strong beast and it will turn you into a boss. If you’re a Nice Guy™, Emperor will kill it dead.

You will end up raging against ignorant and lazy people, You’ll be laser focused on building your own empire and only the hottest women will want to fuck you. Don’t listen if you like socialising and having fun (use Khan/Daredevil instead).

[pacman]

Yassss…I want emperor!

[Michel]

You already have it, Ascension is the main ingredient of EmperorQ!

[pacman]

Seriously

[Michel]

Blimey, the last update was 5 days ago. What’s changed?

Accepting it

There has been one major change - more emphasis on accepting and taking care of myself. This meant listening to my wants, needs and desires and respecting them, instead of criticising them.

I have flaws (that others remind me of every day of my life) but I also have strengths.

Not everybody is your friend

I now accept that not everybody will like me. That’s fine because I like myself, that’s far more important Haters can do what they want. I know I’m a caring, hardworking individual, if someone doesn’t see it, they’ll never will. Not my problem. -

I’m now accepting the haters. No more denial or escapism. Just the truth.

Winner winner chicken dinner

Got my money back from an online seller who didn’t didn’t provide a service in return. I hesitated to do it, because I thought I might upset the other person.

Never did I say to myself: "fucking asshole, they’re screwing me, I want my money, bitch!".

Couple more Wins too. I like winning one.