Finding my True North

[Michel]

Quick update on the Chosen stack:

I’m feeling the quiet leadership from just being at work, I’m guiding the fellow newbies to the job as well as learning myself. I do still have a way to go to be a little more convincing in my own opinions - people pleaser habits - because no, other people are not higher up or smarter than me. I’m also feeling I can cope with the stresses of the job much better (there are a lot of impatient people and noises), in fact I’m the one telling others to calm down…
I do love the gentle, positive leadership quality, rather than the fuck you, get out of my way domination bullshit that pollutes alpha circles nowadays. Speak softly but carry a big stick is so 2022…

Chosen from Within? Got a short holiday coming up

[Michel]

Chosen continues to impress. I had little hopes for this sub compared to others like Ascension and Stark, but Chosen is keeping me in a strong positive frame of mind, even at work – sometimes bosses load you up with unimportant nonsense to add to essential tasks - and yet my instinct is to shield my colleagues from them, as if I’m taking a leadership role. Weird…

Chosen + Chosen from Within is also doing something interesting – women are taking a shine to me. During my holiday I gave little thought to anybody else and just enjoyed my own company and yet women are showing up. I’ve sworn off relationships for a couple of years but why are women now gravitating towards me?

Overall the good feelings are just wonderful, I don’t need to think about maintaining a positive mindset, it just happens, it’s not silly Pollyanna stuff, it’s also grounded in quiet alphaness.

[Davisnwc]

@Michel

women are taking a shine to me. During my holiday I gave little thought to anybody else and just enjoyed my own company and yet women are showing up. I’ve sworn off relationships for a couple of years but why are women now gravitating towards me?

Sometimes when a woman senses that a man likes his own company, she figures that she just might enjoy his company too.

[Michel]

It’s a good possibility, I didn’t expect Chosen to be a woman magnet, but I suppose leadership (of self) is somewhat attractive.

[Michel]

I don’t know if it’s wholly the title but man! Chosen - Positivity, confidence and presence, all that was good about Ascension with added self love and care. No more “I’m not worthy, I’m no good, other people are better than me” mess.

I am worthy.
I am capable
I’ve got my own self esteem
I can do it

Absolutely no clinging onto others like a crutch, I stand on my own two feet (a fulltime job helps) and I can toot my own horn when it’s deserved.

For those who wonder about the aura, trust me others feel it when they react like they either love you or hate you with a visceral passion. There isn’t a day where I get electrical shocks off of something - even rubber!

Chosen is the MVP. Very underrated title. Alpha in a very positive, laid back and life affirming way.

[emperor_obewan]

@Michel

Chosen + Chosen from Within is also doing something interesting – women are taking a shine to me. During my holiday I gave little thought to anybody else and just enjoyed my own company and yet women are showing up. I’ve sworn off relationships for a couple of years but why are women now gravitating towards me?

I believe this quote from the CFW thread may go some way towards explaining this particularly if you consider what objectives are being talked about.

@SaintSovereign

I mentioned in my journal that I was going to create a version of Chosen that included the objectives of Love Bomb and Regeneration while removing the “alpha leadership” traits. This is that experimental, though I didn’t remove the alpha leadership traits, I pointed them “inward” instead. What this means is that you’ll experience more self-control and introspection, which would eventually radiate outward to others. Rest assured, this is more than just Chosen + Love Bomb + Regeneration. The scripts were rewritten and woven together in a way that makes them incredibly synergistic and focused on restoring your inner world.

[Michel]

So the old adage of “if you don’t love yourself, can you love others” applies. Interesting way of getting attraction, especially as the sub is not sex focused.

[Michel]

PCC. If you’re at work, PCC is essential.

I’ve got two women at work gossiping about each other in my ear hole, they won’t talk but will unload their dirty laundry about each other to me. One of them is my immediate boss. So I’m having to agree and nod my head like the Churchill dog (UK TV commercial).

PCC has got me going like Neo dodging bullets whilst underneath I’m thinking “I don’t have time for this shit, just leave me alone”. Truth is both women are highly dysfunctional and are being pressed from above, but Mr Man here has to be the unwilling listening post. Sigh…

Anyway, CFW has got me some additional outside help with my own belief system and rewiring false childhood memories - one centred on receiving money.

[Fractal_Explorer]

Worst part about jobs in my opinion, when nonsense like that happens and people can’t just communicate like adults.

[Michel]

@elementary_vision I can’t imagine the unnecessary stress of coping with others’ nonsense on top of being shouted at for things that patently aren’t your fault. I feel you man.

[Michel]

I’m now on an unplanned washout due to work commitments, so I get to observe the Chosen bloom effect in action. So far:

• the system at work crashed and all manner of stuff conspired to fail at the same time, unfortunately I lost my shit (but did it out of sight of the public). One month into the job completely untrained and unprepared for it.

• Resolved to learn from it. Most likely there will be a head office meeting to discuss what went wrong, but it’ll be the first time I can genuinely say it wasn’t my fault.

• it revealed clearly those who were by my side and could see I was trying to get things right and those who never liked me in the first place. For thr former (including my boss) I’ll be my usual charming self, the latter can go fuck themselves.

• again, I still don’t understand why women are standing at doorways or looking with smiles on their faces. I get that Chosen has tons of leadership and feel good enotions, but what’s with the laser eyed looks?

[ABC333]

I will chime in here. Those ladies with the smiles and laser eyes well, you’ve been chosen!

[Michel]

Quick update:

Well, I called out a work colleague for not following shop protocol to my line manager, and boy! Threats at work aren’t what I signed up for, but that was the price to pay. I’d complained about it and thought that was that, but they forced me to work with them. This would have triggered all kinds of infant terror fear but…

A lion awoke.

I was ice cold. You could feel the Arctic wind blow. I did not care. Any previous friendliness was cut with a steel excalibur. Threaten me and you’re persona non grata. No energy. No fucks given. No more leaning on fools.

Granted there was some additional inner work to be done, but I’m surprised just how obstinate and assertive I could be if you mess with me.

Side note: the other person can’t wait to swap a shift away from me… it’s absolutely sickening how narcs with no empathy can sweet talk anybody to fulfil their hit and run agenda…

[Michel]

I’m now on a Chosen washout for a week or so and using other tools available specific to my childhood trauma, which worked wonders. Maybe too well, because all of a sudden I’m very assertive. I don’t put up with bullshit from anybody. People who gave me hell have stayed away, family have tried to guilt trip, mud sling and put me back in my shy box, but I had the comebacks. No anger but telling them the cold hard truths about themselves in a way that they could only mud sling in response. They didn’t like it, in fact I enjoyed pointing out their hypocrisy.

---

Time to reflect on what has happened at work:

• Sometimes you must be on good terms with your work colleagues, otherwise they will leave you high and dry. That’s a lesson I’ve had to learn when I was left high and dry myself.
• Also being in the boss’ good books never lasts. Flavour of the month to annoying human can be quickly done.
• For telling on a work colleague, I’m not as good of a person that I think I am.
• I made a wrong decision and now I will reap the consequences of my actions.

The assertive muscle is flexing but it may have gone a bit too far in the other direction. I will learn from this and be a better for it, but right now I am a crappy human being.

[Michel]

Man do I feel beaten down and p-whipped by women who I’m not even having relationships with! At work I still have two dominant women who are chewing my ear off over themselves… And I can’t tell them to “shut the fuck up for one second”! Even at home I’m being accused of being selfish (meaning I’m not their willing slave). All remaining traces of my masculinity has been vaporised to shit. Not even remaining silent helps. Just nod and agree…

I had this issue confirmed by a street palm reader where she spotted my generous heart but the lack of a strong father figure – which my own father inherited makes me a target for women who take advantage. Typical nice guy garbage.

Time to put myself first for once and follow through to real independence, instead of being a weak willed puppet. Ascension was a great start, now it’s time to get real. Trying out Emperor ZP.

[Michel]

Current mood and aspiration.

Come hell or high water, challenges and blessings, two cycles of Emperor ZP.

• dominate work
• put disrespectful people back in their box
• grow some balls
• branch out into my own company
• more personal freedom
• cut off every toxic mf in my life
• become KING OF THE NORTH.

[subliminalguy]

I love the assertiveness you show to protect yourself. Emperor is a great choice for you!

Thanks for still keeping your posts real. That’s why I pull yours up regularly.

I’m on DR, seeking some internal strength. I’m considering adding Ascension as my 2nd program.

[Michel]

Thanks @subliminalguy for the kind words, your journal is the first one I look out for the equally raw and open journal entries. The fellowship of the dragon is numerous, you’re more than welcome to join in.

[aklimatize]

@Michel

First day running, had a crying session. I don’t cry much, but the realisation that at age 38, surviving a brutal abusive childhood in one piece physically, but not mentally caught me off guard. It felt like someone wise said to me “It’s all right now, you’ve been through the worst, you’re alive and well”. The emotional charges, nervousness, anxiety, terror pit of the stomach feelings are now gone. I feel neutral about the past now.

I can completely relate to this; having come from a rough upbringing myself as well, I can attest that there is a moment (different for each of us) where we begin to change the meaning of what we went through. In the beginning, it’s like “why me?” but as we grow and mature and begin to overcome those things we thought we couldn’t, we begin to see our past as our greatest catalyst for strength - there is something that is birthed inside - some power, force or whatever it is, where we just know that no matter what, we will find a way or make a way.

I know this was all posted 3 yrs ago almost, but I’m starting from the beginning here, so forgive my late responses. I’m going to be reading up on your journal, because you seem to have been in a similar situation that I now find myself in (using Ascension) to gain some control over your life. I’m looking forward to reading more of your journal.

[Elme]

You are a good soul brother, reminded of myself when i was a kid.

You can always do it like elme style and make them eat their own poison.

You should always avoid battles but when they come your way dont be afraid to go full force.

Just as the drug dealers were intimidating people in my mother in law house, i almost run them over with my jipe and even bluffed as they think i am a police officer.

Now my kids can safely play outside and they know they are my kids they also help my mother in law with her groceries.

Is everything going to come up allright all the time? Well no… but they will respect you thats a fact.