Feeling heavy deep into a washout

[Tobyone]

@TheGreenMan

It would be interesting to know if people living alone have more recon than the ones living in bigger households.

Interesting… I used to be a city boy, lived my whole life into my 30’s there. But after 2020 I went cave mode, and now I live a bit off the beat but in another country. I believe a big part of my recon might stem from that I lost almost all social activity over the last 3-4 years, all my own friends bar maybe one I have left but in my old home country. The people I hang out with are not really close friends but just acquaintances and most are a lot older than me because not many young people live out here.

But it has been taxing not having a social circle for a couple of years now, even though during this time I dabbed deep into meditation and a lot of lone time… but also as I’m naturally an introvert… maybe I took it a bit too far lol.

[Tobyone]

@Viktor

The new anti-recon scripting is such a game changer that it can completely flip everything i know from testing & finding what works best for me upside down. I’m very excited for it.

Thanks for sharing. Definitely noticed a big difference and especially on GLM with how it makes me aware of my internal resistance and why. Come to think about it from what I remember early days on GLM, I was far better attuned to exactly this process of being aware and knowing what to do to resolve it…

Maybe that’s why my whole confusion and reason for this whole thread is that I forgot that I had this newfound wisdom, and now I felt a bit down because I’m probably working through some major blockage internally which temporarily clouds this vision I had in the beginning?

[GoldenBird]

@Tobyone

The people I hang out with are not really close friends but just acquaintances and most are a lot older than me because not many young people live out here.

But it has been taxing not having a social circle for a couple of years now, even though during this time I dabbed deep into meditation and a lot of lone time… but also as I’m naturally an introvert… maybe I took it a bit too far lol.

Sorry, could not resist.

Seriously though, you can’t predict the processing speeds we have as individuals, and how things reconcile in your mind. Just recently, I noticed that I was too mechanical about my rest days, and that I, in fact, need more rest days sometimes so that I can function better. I have even had cases before, where I had taken the normal 5 days off, and just as I was about to begin my next cycle, on the 6th day, I was hit with full blown recon.

And the current titles really hit me hard and efficiently at microloops. Looking back, I can’t even believe how I had run multiple titles for 15m each with no build-up a few years ago. And felt less recon at that time. My assumption is that I was actually not even executing well on those titles like Khan before, because I had basically skipped the first 30s by going straight up to 5-15m. Another possibility is that the processing was really stretched out over the week, making me less able to notice it directly. With the current microloops of 30s to 1m on titles like GLM and Wanted, both the processing and the reconciliation and the urging to specific kinds of action are very, very obvious. I really like these newer titles.

[Tobyone]

@GoldenBird

Just recently, I noticed that I was too mechanical about my rest days, and that I, in fact, need more rest days sometimes so that I can function better

Yeah, I used to be that way to years back, but as the technology advanced and the instructions become more fluid I started to just listen to my inner world. If I feel distressed I just skip a day or two usually. Back in the Q days it was listen 10-15 hours a day and it felt more strict that you really needed the exposure time, but ZP changed the game.

@GoldenBird

Sorry, could not resist.

I have read a bit of your journal and I can relate a bit except that I’m native Swedish. my old friends always used to tell me that I was the least Swedish person, and that I often complained about the rigidness of the Swedish culture. But of course I lived in the Capital city which makes it even more stressful and people being more caught up in it.

But just as you have began to notice after reading your progress, this mentality to complain about it actually sets you up for more of it as you expect it everywhere you go. I stopped years back to even entertain that those thought patterns and it helped a lot, but then again there was Corona… lol…

Sweden then became 10X more Swedish in that way, but as I had my own little migrate to a cave period I kind of not experienced too much of it as I was generally not around a lot of people.

[Tobyone]

@Malkuth

So maybe now instead of managing the subliminal, the emphasis shifts more to managing your self?

I’m tending to think like this now.

As always short, precise, and with some humour sprinkled in. Thanks for the reminder