Typically I take a more flexible approach where I monitor my amount of recon and decide to take one, two or more days off depending on how I feel.
I first wanted to try to substitute LB4H to LD (with at least one rest day between listening days) to experience what happens. If I notice too much recon even with this approach then I will consider the two days rest.
More desire to socialize, more pleasure while socializing and desire to talk, and meet girls. It seems that I’m doing it and wanting it from the heart, with pure sincerity.
Small summary: in the near past I had a hatred towards people, I wanted to distance myself from others because I saw all of them fake.
At the moment I got away from all those old people who seemed to me to be intoxicating or intoxicating my life. By spending more time in college and listening after listening to subs in the present moment, I feel a little more cured of this hatred. Now I feel a warm and sincere desire in my chest to want to communicate and socialize, especially with women. I love their femininity and the energy they give you.
Maybe this desire I feel in my chest is more of a desire for love. To love and to be loved. I feel it so deeply inside me.
I wonder if this desire is a synonym of having been cured of something. Before, it was difficult for me to want to love a woman. I had regret and distrust of them that did not allow me to see them as human beings. Much of the blame was from the redpill and who knows what other negative mental patterns.
I was thinking therefore, to listen to LB4H from the next listening as an experiment and keep it until the end of the cycle. From there I will evaluate whether to return or stay on LB4H together with K st1. I know for a fact that when I switch to K st2 I will listen to it with LD, but with K st1 it is different. I would add LB4H could be a great opportunity to enhance (and / or soften) the inner healing.
Day 9 - October 23th, 2022
Listened to: nothing, rest day.
"THE PROBLEM is NOT NOT TO KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER.
The TRUE problem is that you do NOT feel interesting enough, pleasant enough to go to her, and introduce yourself.
Most likely you will experience this mental block with a justification such as: “What right do I have, to interfere in his life”.
Almost experiencing your desire to know her, as a negative factor. As if getting to know you could be more of a nuisance than something extremely pleasant. "
I feel sad. I haven’t been in a good mood all day. Will it be recon?
While watching a video on tik tok, I reached an obvious and banal conclusion: rejection exists, it is inevitable. I’ve always been used to the constant PUA messages, that “you can have all the women you want”, “you will learn the techniques to seduce them all” and made it seem like you would never be rejected by anyone. Convenient for the ego, huh? But this is just a way to cover your ego’s ass and hide from your fragile self-esteem the fact that you can be rejected and hurt. But the truth is that the rejection is there, I have to deal with it. Whenever I try to approach or make a move with a girl I will face potential rejection, but that’s okay, this is reality and a man who can accept this inevitable reality is a man who has matured, grown and put the ego aside. You can’t please everyone, there aren’t those super powers that will make you immune to rejection, there will be some girls who will reject you because they don’t like you, while others will welcome you with open arms and that’s okay.
Embracing this reality makes me feel better, it is like letting go of a weight, another chain that melts. Paradoxically, perhaps, knowing this will give me more impetus to act, because before I was afraid to do it for fear of being rejected, but now that I accept that the possibility exists, then acting will be easier and more natural.
Well… lol 
Are you talking about immune to rejection as in never getting rejected?
Or immune to rejection as in never getting affected by it?
Both are very possible lol
Yes, this one. It is just a manifestation of the fear of being rejected that prompts you to find ways not to be rejected and not to face the reality of rejection.
Regarding this instead, it means to have accepted the fact that it exists I suppose, for this reason you are not influenced by it.
Day 10 - October 24th, 2022
Listened to: K st1 + LB4H
I am afraid of disappointing others after they have started to know me or have heard me speak.
I sometimes see a couple of curious glances from some girl and I think they may have seen something in me, from my appearance, from my way of dressing, from the image I project. I am also afraid of disappointing their judgment when they hear me speak for the first time or when they begin to know me. I am afraid because I fear that perhaps knowing me they will not see all that beauty they have seen just looking at me, I am afraid of disappointing their expectations because it rarely happens that someone is interested or intrigued by me and therefore I do not want to disappoint their expectations because then it would mean that the only people who get curious in me would dissappear.
I felt angry today.
I don’t know if it was my impression but a girl gave me a couple of looks as we passed each other walking. The same one that is now sitting on my left, two seats away in the library lol.
I want to deepen yesterday’s thing on rejection.
Being afraid of rejection meant that I was always looking for an infallible method or techniques to always be successful. I wanted a feeling of “control”, I wanted to feel that in my hands I had the power to control the reaction of the girls as I wanted and to make them fall in love with me, and this was all a reflection of my lack of acceptance towards rejection, of failing to accept that I am not in control, that I may not be liked by someone and I can not do anything about it. It is that fear of doubt, of not knowing whether or not a girl will like me and not being able to do much about it that made me damn pissed off, that also scared me. I wanted to be infallible to never be rejected, I wanted to convince myself that I was in control, but the more I wanted this control, the more I was afraid, and I didn’t act, because complete control in these circumstances does not exist, and by not acting I could avoid rejection and continue to support this useless illusion of being able to have infallible control of my interactions.
Now I accept the rejection I am aware that I have no control over anything but myself, I cannot force others to love me and I cannot control or manipulate their judgment of me. Now I accept that I can be rejected, I don’t feel I have to control anything. I only show myself for who I am and I don’t need to use any tactics to convince anyone that I am pleasant. Some will like me and will want to be with me, others will not like me and will reject me. Okay so, I accept it. I no longer feel the need to convince anyone to love me, whoever wants me will make me understand it and I will reward him with my time and my energy. Anyone who doesn’t want me I will ignore it because it’s a waste of time trying to convince someone who doesn’t want you.
I accept rejection, I accept those who do not want me, I accept not being able to have control over social interactions and the impression I make on the girls I like. I just have to be myself and congruent with whom I interact and accept the result I will get with them. And in the case of a rejection of some girl, there will be a thousand other girls that I can meet and with whom I can build something.
Another thing I was thinking about is that I don’t need any PUA tactics or anything like that to seduce a woman. Seduction should be a natural thing that comes from the closeness of a man and a woman, it is a natural thing and does not need “tactics”.
I still have this curiosity to know what attracts a woman to a man, because if it was just a matter of going to her and talking, then we’d all getting laid, wouldn’t we? So there is something more something that you show or demonstrate (I speak on a subconscious and automatic level) that makes her start to take an interest in you. But what is that thing? What is that “thing” that ignites a spark in a woman’s mind that makes her say “now yeah, I am interested in this guy”? Thinking about it I concluded that it could simply be “the way you make her feel” by making her laugh, showing her that you are a man with balls and showing your dominance, or indirectly letting something show about you that teases her. But again I wonder: what is it that she notice that would intrigue her so much? They say it is self-confidence that women like but maybe it is better if I allow Khan to do the job of giving me these characteristics that should create attraction and that should come from within me.
For now I can only talk to the girls and let my personality shine through, subconsciously guided by my stack to manifest what it should take to attract a woman. And as I said before, I don’t really care if someone will reject me now, what I really have is a desire and a curiosity to meet girls and to learn the feminine nature.
The questions and curiosities are many, the answers not so much, but now I can only go ahead and try, and take action.
Day 11 - October 25th, 2022
Listened to: rest day
The bottom line of all of this is that if your life is incomplete and you feel that some realms are much lower than other realms, it’s possible that they influence each other by breaking your life into pieces.
For me it was women which is the problem of so many other men. It didn’t make me feel complete and decreased my performance in other contexts of my life due to the demotivation and sadness I felt in being alone and seeing others succeed where I couldn’t. It destroyed me and brought my life into misery to collapse with me.
Day 14 - October 28th, 2022
Listened to: K st1 + LB4H
Calling a guy on the phone about something I had to do I started to get that feeling of “I don’t want to bother other people”. It happens often, I often experience this feeling with others and I think it depends on giving little value to myself that every time I approach other people I start to feel a burden for them.
As I called the guy I said to myself “I don’t want to bother him” and then I said to myself “fuck it I should be more cheeky and disturb him without guilt, to get what I want”.
But where does this fear of being a burden to others come from? Does it always depend on the way I was raised?
This problem is also weighing on me with girls. Every time I think I want to hit on one of them, I feel that I might just be a burden to her, that I would just annoy her, that she wouldn’t like it if I talked to her, that I wouldn’t make any positive contribution to her day or life. I just feel a nuisance, a dead weight for girls (and probably others).
After the first revelation I felt more indifferent and comfortable in my own skin all morning while talking to others.
Day 15 - October 29th, 2022
Listened to: rest day
Thinking back on my life now I realize how unhappy I am and I believe I have never been so unhappy in my life.
I have always been a person who did not need anyone or maybe I was convinced of this for not having to look for anyone or even try, but lately since I listen to Khan St1 I feel the desire to bond with others, to want to share experiences with them. Above all, I want to be with girls and experience the taste of human interaction. What I feel is a warmth within me that I want to share. I don’t want to be alone anymore, I want to build a social network. But with “not being alone” it doesn’t mean that I’m afraid to be alone, just that I have a sincere desire to share my time with others, while remaining independent.
I feel limited. I feel that I don’t have the inner power to do what I want and to know and get the girls I want. Paradoxically, however, I feel excited, perhaps because I know that there are many stages that will improve me in the future of Khan. I do not know.
I felt the feeling and the desire to want to move on to the next stage because I need the next step, the inner power to guide me where I want to go. I feel much cleaner inside than when I started this journey at the end of August, I have returned so clean that at times I feel like I am a child who knows nothing, curious about everything, curious about the world, with so many questions, desire to learn everything that can lead me to what I want, from scratch.
I will see how this feeling I have inside will evolve in order to evaluate if it is time to change or if it is better to stay still on K St1.
I feel a void in my chest, as if something is missing. I also feel emotionally fragile. I don’t feel the strength to move towards what I want.
Day 16 - October 30th, 2022
Listened to: K st1 + LB4H
Khan st1 makes me feel too soft, like bread, I don’t feel any kind of assertiveness, dominance or inner strength. I feel as malleable as pasta, but perhaps it is a consequence of the cure.
Being like that between people and in life doesn’t make me feel the strength to get what I want because I lack assertiveness and inner drive, and I can’t act between people in a way that satisfies me. I feel missing something these days, I don’t feel satisfied with what I have and what I get, and above all with what I am. In fact, last night I felt a very great dissatisfaction in going out. I don’t seem to get anything satisfying done.
It also seemed to me lately that women were quite superfluous, maybe the emptiness I feel inside is caused by the removal of this need? I can’t understand it. I just know that I find myself wanting more, wanting to be stronger, more assertive, more confident. The lack of women is not the problem, it is me, and my desire to grow and become stronger, to then be able to achieve those things and much more. It is no longer the emotion given by the thing I seek that I am longing for, but the man I have to be to get that thing.
I’ve had several thoughts suggesting that this stage has given me enough, that being in it just makes me feel stalled and that maybe I should move on to the next one. Indeed a lot of the negativity that was in me seems to have let go of me a little more than before, leaving me with this sense of emptiness, dissatisfaction and something that is incomplete in me, something to fill in to be able to feel a whole person . I feel a bit like a vase that was previously filled with poisonous substances and has now been emptied. I wish I could fill it with good quality content now.
For a couple of days, I have also felt in doubt about what I wanted before and this leaves me with a demotivation that does not allow me to be decided on what I have to look for. I wanted women but now I don’t feel I want to chase them, I don’t feel desire for them. Maybe it’s just a passing moment. Without this need now I feel a little lost, I no longer know what I want to do or what I want to pursue and as mentioned before all those feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction that I feel now follow.
Socializing has also become useless. Yesterday when I did it I didn’t feel all that pleasure.
The way I feel now, for me nothing makes sense anymore. I no longer feel I have a path or a goal to follow. I feel unmotivated and disgusted.
I noticed since last night that I can be more myself among people and without filters.
START OF CYCLE #1
Day 1- November 3rd, 2022
Listened to: K st2 (3 mins) + LB4H E (3 mins) + Ascension Chamber
I am angry.
I wanted to write this thing in my journal so as not to forget it: when I write myself a goal and this is too big it does not encourage me to take action precisely because it is too large and for the lack of steps to follow to achieve it. So it stays there on paper to rot. The only solution to me is to break down the big goal into smaller and smaller goals until they spur action, and it’s also a way to have some encouraging little steps to pursue that will be the shadow of what the whole big goal will be.
recon in form of irritation.
Before, I felt like saying what I thought arrogantly without too many worries while talking to my parents. Is K st2 giving me this arrogance? I also felt angry, so was this arrogance a beneficial effect or did it come from the recon?
I read about someone on the forum who started feeling superior to others during this stage. I think I tasted such a thing, but it came from a mood of irritation and almost contempt, it was a little negative perhaps.
Day 4 - November 6th, 2022
Listened to: rest day
I realized that it is a long time since I stopped wanting to know people. I have no interest in getting to know others and finding out who they are, I don’t care and it doesn’t cause me pleasure. I don’t know if it is a conclusion reached by listening to the subs but I know that it happens to me mostly with the males. With women it is different, I want to know them and have romantic relationships with them, so it comes naturally to me to want to know them, but with males I have no desire to know them and have them as friends. I take no pleasure in socializing with them, just emptiness. With women, on the contrary, I feel pleasure. But in general terms I find the void in many cases interacting with others.
Maybe it’s also because it’s been a long time since I have had relationships with women of any kind and I feel the desire to get to know them more.
Another observation is that I started to be more non-reactive and consistent in my behavior with my mood. In the sense that I behave for how I really feel and not for how people expect me to react. For example, if a person makes a joke that doesn’t make me laugh, I don’t laugh. Consistency with my mood. Sincerity with myself.
I used to laugh at a sleazy joke or other similar behavior just to please those in front of me. Typical nice guy behavior, while now I don’t see this need. This sometimes makes me seem unpleasant probably, but I don’t want to force myself to do something I don’t want.
I have noticed this behavior already from several alpha titles ago.
There were a couple of girls looking at me maybe tonight in the pub. If there was curiosity in their eyes, I didn’t know how to reward it. I liked them but I didn’t know how to approach them, being also in a group of friends, but this is just an excuse. I never feel this impulse inside me that pushes me to talk to the girl of my desires and I always find myself standing there observing her and looking for her eyes. But then? What do I tell her to start talking to her? How do I approach her? How do I continue the conversation? Just the thought makes me feel a strong discomfort in my chest and it doesn’t come naturally to me to do it.
With women I am typically uncomfortable and I feel that my presence is not appreciated, I feel I have to compensate in some way to seek their attention when maybe there is not even the need, but it’s just a feeling I have, it’s a feeling of not being liked or not being appreciated enough.
There are times when I see couples of people engaged, I say to myself: that woman has decided to be with that man, but as for me, why should a woman choose to be with me? What could I give her? What qualities do I have that she might like? I do not know. When it comes to women I don’t know what I’m worth and I don’t know what might be the reasons why a woman might want to be with me. A past conclusion had been that girls might want me just for my looks (if they like me), in fact I will never forget my ex when she left me and said “it was just attraction”, she hurt me with this. So I’m not projecting anything other than this? Superficiality? Is it possible that in those moments we spent together she didn’t find anything beautiful in me except a sense of physical attraction? Is this how I am remembered? How sad … yet I consider myself a boy who has a lot to give, but I can’t communicate it, people maybe don’t understand what I want to give them. But I’m not a superficial person!
Another story was with my second girlfriend. I remember when she held my face in her hands and she said to me “you are beautiful …”. Why had she been with me? Again just for a physical attraction? If so then what do I have to offer? If girls see nothing in me except sometimes just a pretty face (the few who like me) then what do I have to offer? Nobody seems to notice my other qualities and then reward them. Kindness, selflessness, humor and more … Sometimes being appreciated is a good thing but when no one notices anything in you, even though you feel you have a lot to give, it hurts.
From today I will structure my journal in a different way. I will write a small title / introduction at the beginning of the paragraph, in bold and I will deepen the subject of that title when needed. This is also a way to help the reader to orient himself/herself better in sections that may or may not interest him/her and to skip a paragraph whenever he wants or vice versa. This change arises from the fact that in the first place I started writing the journal in a different way, that is now I write small sentences summarizing thoughts that go through my head during the day and not to let them escape from my memory, I approach them very quickly and then I deepen them later in the day. Let’s start in the next post so …
*** desire to learn seduction and not just use my looks and aestethics to create physical attraction.
I want to know how to mentally capture a woman to make her fall in love with me and want to be with me out of an emotional longing she feels and not just a physical sexual attraction. I am think about the seducers of history, Casanova and Dongiovanni who probably knew how to seduce their woman even with their charm.
*** bitterness because so many girls to know, so many opportunities but I can’t get to know them because I am emotionally blocked and / or unable to.
I have negative emotional reactions when I am in contact with women and I am unable to be comfortable with them, nor sexually secure and to express my feelings for them or express something towards them. Sexually I feel quite limited with women and I can’t show my romantic interest in them, this frustrates me because I know there are so many to know but I lack the skills to take advantage of these numerous opportunities.
*** I have difficulty making decisions, I feel anxious and worried about doing so. I have a hard time making decisions on my own, like changing places at night, like a disco club.
I find myself doing the same things because it is my comfort zone and I feel discomfort from going out and DECIDING to go to places where there would be many girls to know such as disco clubs. I have discomfort when it comes to being independent, detaching myself from the group and doing things alone.
*** yesterday I had an emotional burst.
When I reread it I notice that they were just complaints, but I was in a bad mood.
*** desire to know what a girl does on the weekend, as a way to connect with her.
This is a first step of something I’ve never done before. Asking a girl what she does on the weekend can give me an idea of what she likes and what I can do with her if I care and want to date, and it’s not just for the previous purpose, I really care what she does on the weekend. It is also a way of knowing her.
*** I’ve always seen girls as superior to me, never to my equal. This thought came when seeing a girl I know on social. While now, do I see her as my equal?
For a moment, looking at her, I saw an ordinary girl and I saw her as my equal, that feeling of equality gave me security and she seemed more approachable. Instead, I usually see women above me.
*** desire to change places to meet new women instead of always being in the same old place to waste time.
*** I’m stuck in a vicious circle. I hate the place and the people I go to, I complain and do nothing, I go back there every week on time, nothing changes, I get depressed and I don’t grow up.
I understood this by seeing another girl I know on instagram, it seemed to me to have changed and to this I associated that it had grown and improved. Comparing her with myself I understood that I have not grown up and therefore follows the premise made above. But in reality there have been changes, the inner ones with K st1.
*** I don’t know how to approach a woman when I like her and what to tell her.
*** I’ve never had congruence with women in the past.
I had traumas that did not allow me to be myself. I was withdrawn, shy, sexually traumatized and that never allowed me to express myself the way I wanted to with women verbally or sexually. When I started acting with women it was when I got to know the PUA culture, it made me act motivated by those promises of success, but I was too misaligned with my personality because of those teachings and still internally traumatized and therefore without congruence and not there were results.
Now I try to be as congruent and sincere as possible with what I am and what I express, I am very aligned with who I really am inside of me by acting on what I feel inside, but there is still work to be done, but I am happy with the results I have achieved so far.
*** I feel an urge to take action towards my goals with women.
My mind continues to stay focused on women and how to get them.
*** every now and then during the day I hear intuitions in the form of feeling and desire, which suggest me what I should do.
For example, one of these was a feeling of having to change places and stop hanging out in the same place and with the usual people.
Day 5 - November 7th, 2022
Listened to: K st2 (3 mins) + LB4H (3 mins)
*** Strange dreams.
*** Constant desire in the mind from the beginning of k st2 to know how to seduce women
*** I feel a sense of constant sensuality, as per Khan’s sales page.
I feel practically horny and I want to express it to women and make them try what I feel making them excited.
*** My real desire now is that when I see a girl, being able to talk to her and get to know her whenever I want. I don’t want to feel limited.
*** Gym conversation with a girl.
I talked to that girl from a old festival. Initially she avoided my gaze continuously, she seemed intimidated (but do I do this effect?), And also with other two girl in the gym had the same behavior, and continued to look around the room avoiding my gaze. They seem tense.
Later, she looked at me, smiled at me and so I approached her. She laughed and we slaughter two other jokes where she asked me for what I was doing in the gym. Shortly thereafter in the other room she came to do another exercise and smiled at me again. It was kindness or something more?
*** I was much more critical with my standards of women in the past and in the end I didn’t go out with anything in my hands, but it came from fear. This thought was born by looking at a girl I know on Instagram. I understand that now I enjoy women much more and I appreciate women and their beauty in a more intense way, and I also enjoy the less attractive girls. In the end they are always women, they have something interesting too and the attraction between men and women is created in a natural way, no matter the aesthetics. It’s a matter of alchemy. Before, I was much more critical because I had strange obsessions of perfectionism on female aesthetics and then I grew up with people (as I said previously in the journal) who gave extreme importance to beauty and extremes it very much. I learned from them. I also had this fear of being judged if I had been with a woman who was not considered beautiful who did not exceed certain standards, and so I was very critical. I would go back with my current mindset, I would cathed in vary opportunities. I think I have come to a point of being able to find beauty in almost every woman and enjoy many of them.
Day 6 - November 8th, 2022
Listened to: rest day
The ego occasionally kiks in.
Every now and then I feel a characteristic sensation that makes me understand that it is the ego that speaks. It is a feeling contrary to that of openness and sincerity that I felt yesterday when I wanted to talk and I talked to the girl in the gym. It is a feeling of narcissism, of superiority where I practically do not behave in alignment with my desire of the moment. For example, if inside me I want to look a girl in her eyes for a long time and flirt with her gaze, this feeling makes me turn around as if I don’t need her and still look at her out of the corner of my eye. It is as if my ego wanted to be the superior, the one that needs no one, but wasn’t this the opposite of congruence? Being misaligned with who you are, what you want and what you feel or want at the moment? Yes, I believe that I sometimes enter this state of incongruity which is probably going to destroy my results.
Eventually, after listening to my ego and doing the opposite of what I want, I feel a bitterness inside me, as if I have done something wrong. On the contrary yesterday I was feeling sexually aroused, I followed that desire and talked to that girl, everything seemed natural and warm, the interaction was pleasant and there were no moments of discomfort between us. I was aligned with what I wanted at the time and let the words flow unfiltered. I should probably make my future approaches more like this.
Another negative thing due to the impact of the ego is not following (as opposed to yesterday in the gym) my sexual desire, this, I am very sure, creates internal frictions that upset the naturalness and fluidity of my communication with women.
All the previous speech is actually to say that, this morning on the bus I saw a girl I know. I liked her, I wanted to look her in the eyes, smile and say hello, but my ego got in the way and made me turn my head and avoid her gaze because I wanted to get noticed, I wanted her to look at me and see that I don’t look at her “because I don’t need her”. It was my ego desperately seeking attention, “Hey! I’m here look at me, please!”.
I learned the lesson.
Were tension and tightening due to attraction?
There were four girls in the gym yesterday. Three reacted in the same way while the fourth did not. One of them was the girl I talked to. All three of them when they passed me or I looked at them from a distance, they stiffened, raised their chins slightly and looked “everywhere” except in my direction. It was noticeable too much that it was unnatural, because the gaze is automatically drawn to things in the vicinity and things in motion, while they had destroyed this naturalness. This was something that I also did often in the past and that also resembles the thing described in the previous paragraph. That reaction which was evident seemed evidently a reaction to something, they seemed to be afraid to look me in the eye. Now I don’t know if it’s the same thing that happened to me, but if there is an effect then there must be a trigger. The effect is what I have described (tension in their body in my vicinity), And what was causing it?
Something similar happened to me when I saw a girl I liked, I said to myself “oh my, my God! A pretty girl! I’m upset. DON’T look in her direction, DON’T LOOK IN HER DIRECTION!” So I wonder if I have had a similar effect on them now that they are on K st2. If the answer is yes, then Khan promises to be a beast.
The fourth girl, on the other hand, seemed more indifferent to my surroundings.
The PUA culture created in me only the SELFISTIC need for success and not the SINCERE desire to spend time with someone I like and truly know them.
Basically I was driven only by the desire that the techniques really work and that I could seduce the most beautiful girls, I never wondered if I really liked the girl outside of looks, or if I had enjoyed spending time with her as a person. or if there was something special outside of what I liked about her. It was exclusively a desire for ego satisfaction, to have the satisfaction of being able to seduce a super hot girl, to be successful mainly as a seducer. I didn’t care much who she was or if I would be happy with her.
Thoughts about loneliness while alone are lesser than before.
While I was out in university waiting for my friend I didn’t mind being alone in fact I didn’t have any depressing thoughts about loneliness or why others are in company and I don’t, this that occasionally used to happen to me.
I’m a bit bitter because I haven’t talked to any girls during my lunch break.
I feel this need now to talk to someone and I don’t want to study. Seeing the beautiful girls there, my sex drive is on and spurring me to talk to girls. I have a crazy desire for it but now that I haven’t talked to anyone I feel a little bitter.
What I was also thinking is to find a way to talk to girls in college without being intrusive or taking away their privacy to much.
I noticed some girls’ glances while I was on the faculty.
Lots of cute girls gave me stares. I’ve been feeling a little different for a while, a little more attractive and willing to get close to girls. Is something changing in me?
I feel calmer and more comfortable in my own skin in public.
Girls are scared like me. Maybe I’ve always misunderstood my worth?
I ask myself if I’m really worth more than I’ve always thought of myself. Seeing girls feel uncomfortable keeping their gaze with me made them look more human and made me realize they are normal people like any other and I have always mistakenly given women a lot of value in my head. I also thought that maybe because they are too stiffened while I was looking at them then it could mean that I am actually cuter than I thought and that I can create discomfort because they are the ones who see me as valuable? Role reversal.
How do I approach women in college without being intrusive?
Today I was tired, my mind was not very perky like yesterday in the gym, I could not think of anything to start a conversation with the beautiful girls in the faculty.
Meloncholy. Not having the love life in place and not being in control of it makes me feel sad.
In many cases, I can’t naturally start a conversation with a stranger without feeling intrusive and possibly uncomfortable.
First of all the problem is that I never know what to say and sometimes it seems to me that the things that come to my mind are stupid to say so I never manage to start a conversation.
I feel an intense feeling inside me of wanting to communicate with the other sex and when they look at me and I don’t speak to them it makes me gnaw even more.
It bothers me not to have spoken to girls.
This sense of limitation still bothers me. I see a girl that I like (and today I saw a lot of them) and I can’t get in touch with them to get to know them, this pisses me off, feeling so limited and without the skills to make them my lovers. Continuous opportunities that escape.
I miss assertivity. I am soft and passive like a female.
I do not have the typical assertiveness of the male, the force that deforms reality, the drive that takes the initiative. I am too much at the mercy of events, a slave to the environment that surrounds me. That’s why I never manage to start a conversation.
Khan makes me feel sexually aroused for half pf the time.
I keep looking at the girls and I want them all. Khan gives me a sexual hunger like that of a hungry bum. Maybe that’s why I saw the girls’ looks more on me today, they could see the lust in my eyes and were mesmerized for a moment.
I have to learn to talk to strangers.
I’m too quiet and introverted, can’t initiate conversations with strangers and I feel the occasional knots in my throat blocking me from speaking. I hate this limiting feeling. I will give it some time + action to be resolved as for my traumas with K St 1.
I have to go easy on K st2.
This stage seems to hit hard at times and it’s not like St1 where it resembled a little moved tide that brought me gradual and orderly results. In the case of St2 things go so fast that despite 3 minutes of listening, sometimes I feel like I’m hit by a tsunami.
It seems that jt is not working for you.
When you will go on to the second stage of khan?
What do you mean that doesn’t work exactly?
I have already started ST2 from a week.
11/09/22
Khan ST2 - runs: 2 (rest)
LB4H - runs: 5 (rest)
Limitless - runs: 1 (rest)
Total days : 7
• Residues of negative emotions from yesterday’s recon.
• I have to be careful, I often fall into the trap of fully leaning on the sub and not acting.
It is just a support, I have to forget that it exists and live the days as if it were not there. I don’t have to wait for the sub to do something.
• I am always afraid of how others will judge me, but I have to start judging others.
I have always been afraid of being judged by others because I thought they would not consider me enough for them but I have to become indifferent to this mentality and reverse the situation, I have to be the one who checks what the person in front of me is worth to understand how well we will be together.
• A well-trained physique creates only a physical attraction, not an emotional seduction.
For emotional seduction one need character skills and attitude and with the physical and the aesthetics you do not capture the mind of a woman and make her fall deeply in love. With physical attraction you only create a physical excitement but not a mental one, and if you create a relationship on this alone it would be the most superficial and sad relationship possible because the other person would only want you because you are beautiful to look at.
• Introverted and insecure in the gym.
I couldn’t talk to anyone and felt closed.
• I wanted to talk to a girl in the gym but something was blocking me.
I was attracted to her, but I felt pulled back by something, nothing came to mind and I didn’t feel any motivation to go and talk to her.
• When everyone was talking to that girl in the gym my mind told to do the opposite and not to give a shit.
I don’t know if my mind was suggesting this to me as a desire to be different and therefore more attractive than the others but maybe I would have felt like just another sheep that was going to hit on her, for this I didn’t go.
• I feel different, subtly more attractive.
I’ve been feeling different for a couple of days, sometimes I seem to have more confidence in being an attractive guy.
One thing is certain, I don’t feel the same anymore, something inside of me is changing.