Entropy - An Invictus journal

[Invictus]

Hello everyone,

I’m currently running DrG and KB, stage 1 of both, and felt like it would be great to note down the realizations and growth indicators here, as well as any other observations that I notice along the way.

Firslty, lemme clarify one thing:

My current observations from DrG are what lead me down the KB route for the foreseeable future, specifically, it’s due to the revelations I’m getting from DrG about my sexual issues, which I haven’t really talked much about here, but briefly speaking, I’m very sadistic in sexual settings, and no, I’m not just “rough”, as putting it that way would be an understatement, but just know that the more my girl is uncomfortable and in pain, the more pleasure I get, and due to me being my girlfriend’s “first” everything (boyfriend, kiss, sex, etc.), she has become so used to it, as if this is how it’s supposed to be, and deep down, I’m not okay with that.

Now, the main thing I can say about DrG is that it’s an extremely chill and joyful experience, and yes I did call it an experience instead of a sub, but that’s just because of how nice it feels while running it, and while I can only speak of stage 1, I honestly get the impression that the journey ahead is just gonna amplify this feeling tenfold, if not more.

As for the title of the journal, it shall be elaborated on soon

[Nemesis]

Cool, eager to see where the Dragon takes you bud

[Invictus]

Alright then, let’s start this off with a quick summary about the effects of the first stages of DrG (first 4 days) and KB (stacked from day 5) so far:

• Firstly, the way the sub started digging into the deeper parts of my mind has been an amusingly smooth, as it not only seems like the memories and the issues that were buried are coming up smoothly, but the understanding and self forgiveness to move on does not feel as hard, which leads to this euphoric and joyful feeling that comes from the amusement I get by how easy it was to take things off my chest.
• The feelings that seemed to have once messed me up, now feel as if they were just unnecessary burdens that I placed on myself, but that’s all due to the fact that something within DrG makes it much easier to understand why the burdens were placed there in the first place, and in a way, understanding the reasonings behind my unnecessary baggage is the main reason why it has been making me feel much more at ease when trying to get over those feelings, as I’m not just dealing with them, but also gaining the wisdom to not end up with the same issues again.
• There is no other way to describe the joyousness of this stack except with the following: it will put your emotions on a digital canvas, and increase the brightness and contrast of every single moment, and thought, that ever invoked an emption, no matter how big or how small, no matter how intense or faint, it will be turned up to the max, which is where the joyousness, as a canvas is only complete when you allow yourself to experience the whole spectrum.
• And then there are the effects on my music taste:
  • Solo: my music taste was gravitating towards songs from my past, specifically, songs from the time I was studying abroad, and this alone made me realize that there’s something deep down in mind that was actualized from around that time, which I have not dealt with yet, and making me go back to that time with nostalgia is one of the ways DrG has been supporting me with, so that I can smoothly get myself through those issues.
  • With KB st1: there is a difference indeed, as the first thing I noted was that the type of music, while still nostalgic, it didn’t send me back to any specific time, instead I just went on to my older playlists, some of which I had for years, especially on my older accounts (which I surprisingly was able to log on to), and it sent me down this very weird trip, making me reminisce about the last 10-15 years of my life, remembering the crucial points (or check-points, as I like to call them) of my life, where my environment’s effects, and my body and mind’s reactions to them, changed me bit by bit.

That’s about it for now, but here is a nice teaser

[Leandros]

All the best to your healing.

May it realy erase the shit out of you

[Uber_Elysium]

Will definitely watch this journal, KB and DR Red crossed my mind the other day. Wouldn’t run it anytime soon since im stacking it with Alchemist, but it is nice to see a journal that has that idea in motion. Except for the fact that im running red and you’re with gold.

[Invictus]

Alright guys, so a few new realizations have been popping up in the last two days, and with today being the 4th listening day (2nd for KB st1), and the things that I was reflecting on since yesterday, gave me more hints and answers today after the loops were done, here are the highlights:

• Firstly, my interest in fighting games have been at an extremely low level, as I have not really been playing them, nor does the idea of playing them comes to mind anymore, and while listening to my loops earlier, I felt like I should give the games another go, so I started with Tekken 8, which used to be my main fighting game, and surprisingly I won 3 games in a row, each with a different character, but didn’t really get that satisfaction of winning, so I left it at that and switched to Street Fighter 6, and once again, I played ranked games against people of the same rank as mine (I’m pretty much in the top 5% in both games), and in the 4 games I played, I only lost the first one (cause it was mostly to warm me up), and still, no satisfaction or dopamine hit from the wins, and so, I turned off the game, and laid down until the subs finished, and kept on reflecting on the whole thing, during which I felt answers popping out of the deeper parts of my subconscious, that I kinda realized that I didn’t really wanna accept, but I do now, and the reasons were as follows:

  • The main reason it all started becoming less fun is because after I reached such a high rank and improved so much, all my friends stopped playing with me because there was no reason for them to keep playing just to lose, which lead to me mainly playing online only.
  • Secondly, due to my rank being so high in both games, match times were always slow, like 10+ minutes at times just to find a match, due to which I was wasting more time than I was actually playing.
  • The amount of time I spent on the games were indicative of high addiction, yet it never really occurred to me before that apart from a logo on my screen and some bragging rights, it didn’t really do much for me, and even with all the tournaments I’ve been winning, I didn’t even make much money, like, if we counted all my winnings and summed them up, it would still not be enough to buy the shoes I’m currently wearing.
  • And lastly, game balance issues and the lack of content made the games feel like i was stuck in a loop, where I kept playing against the same S-tier characters all the time, and being stuck in a cycle never feels good in any area of life.

• Secondly, it seems like I still had an issue that was stuck with me since childhood, which has been one of the reasons I was never able to really stand up for my ideals when facing my own family, as the neglect I felt at times during my childhood gave me some kind of a complex that stayed in the back of mind and kept a strong hold over my thoughts when my parents oppose me, and once it all clicked, it seems like a situation was manifested earlier today to test me: my dad called me, was annoyed by the time I go to workout and asked me to just stop going to the gym altogether if I can’t manage the time better, and I knew that I can’t keep on always doing things based on their idea of what’s better and when it’s better, so I replied to him in all seriousness that while I appreciate him looking after me and helping me manage time, I’d appreciate it more if he would keep in mind that I’m also an adult who takes responsibility for his actions, and that alone seemed to have made him go like “hmmm, as you say then”, and then he didn’t bring it up when I was leaving in front of him, so that gives me the impression that he respects my decisions more now, but I gotta observe more over the next few days to really confirm this, but I’m happy with this one thing so far.

• Lastly, I’ll just summarize the external stuff in one go:

  • Body language feels more secure and naturally masculine, even when I’m extremely exhausted, I stand and walk with perfect posture.
  • My libido is way higher than ever before, and it even made my girl annoyed yesterday cause all I wanted to do was be sexual I thought I could work on regulating my sexual energy and attitude with KB, yet there I was yesterday, with one hand inside in one hole and my dick in the other
  • Somehow, I’m gaining muscle faster, which makes me assume that there might be something hormonal going on inside, which would explain the previous point as well.
  • I talk with more calmness, and don’t rush with my words as much anymore.
  • I’m waking up with much less sleep, I read this previously reported in the KB thread, but didn’t realize that it also speeds up post workout recovery too, because of which I have increased the volume of my workouts.
  • Lastly, I’m eating way more beef compared to before.

That’s it for now, there are many other micro changes happening all the time, but they’re more “in the moment” kind of effects that you can’t just keep in mind until they just randomly hit you one day, making you go “oh shit that was from the sub”, so there’s that too.

[Parsifal]

At least first your libido I can tell you that it’s pretty common. I myself and many others that started with KB to tackle porn addiction, noticed that it got worse in the beginning.
It’s like being way more horny than before. What lead to relapses in many cases. Or in your girl being annoyed by you being to sexual.
After some basic cleanse it subsides usually.

One advice I would give you, is to take your time later on with stage 2. I stayed only one cycle on it and felt the effects later on my third cycle of Stage 3 when the horniness was through the roof and my energetic system was off balance because the energy was much more than my system could handle due to only running one cycle of Stage 2.

[Invictus]

@Parsifal

At least first your libido I can tell you that it’s pretty common. I myself and many others that started with KB to tackle porn addiction, noticed that it got worse in the beginning.
It’s like being way more horny than before. What lead to relapses in many cases. Or in your girl being annoyed by you being to sexual.
After some basic cleanse it subsides usually.

I’ll just leave this here:

My girl asked me to go out today, I said no.
I would have ripped her apart, and was scared for her safety

[Invictus]

Alright new updates:

• Yesterday my boss said that he senses that something changed in the way I’m acting, and decided that it’s time I start attending the VVIP level meetings from now on, and these meetings are much different compared to the ones I have regularly.
  As y’all might not be aware, I’m currently heading all sponsorship related affairs at the Olympic Committee, meaning that in any of the events you’d see in Qatar that’s organized by us, all the sponsors there are purely the fruits of my networks and efforts, however, as I’ve also been handed the project of getting sponsors for the National Olympic team, for which the deals are always 4 millions or more, I was pretty happy with that and the responsibilities I have, but what my boss did now is allowing me to expand my network to the VVIP level, so it’s not jus CEOs of companies that know me now, but I’m also getting to meet people of power, like the meeting I attended today with the Minister of Sports, and I must say, these high level meetings are way different compared to my regular ones, as the moment you enter the hall, you can feel the aura of power and wealth hitting you deep in your bones, making you realize just how much more there is to climb.
  And just for a reference, I’m currently considered to have the VIP status, which already puts me in a completely different category to most people, but now, meeting these 0.5% type of people, I just feel intimidated and in awe of their auras.

• Was talking to one of the new girls today, that joined the marketing department last month, but since I was on a 3-weeks long break, I never got to talk to her, and I decided that it was time, since I also had to give her some tasks, and while talking to her, the topic of traveling came up, and I told her how I don’t really enjoy traveling, so she asked me why, and made a joke about me being the kind to spend all my money and not being able to save up to travel, and we had a laugh about that, until I shocked her with the fact that I get 90% off from Qatar Airways for any flight I’d take, which left her jaw dropped and called me dumb for not taking advantage of that but that really struck something in my head, cause I was left in deep thoughts, trying to understand why was I so unbothered and uninterested when it comes to traveling, and from what I understood about myself is that I don’t like to travel mostly because I get bored in flights, and the fear of what I would do alone in another country makes me feel like I might end up making huge mistakes so I would rather just sleep, play, and workout when I’m on vacation (unless I travel with my family or something).

• My way of dealing with others at work has changed quite a bit, to the point that a friend of mine said that he misses the older me, and I was like what do you mean, and his response was that I’ve become a bit cutthroat, but in a positive way, but still, it made him worried that I might change from my carefree happy and hyper self, which is kinda stupid cause it’s not like I’d change my best traits due to people’s judgement, but I’m also done with being easy going just because I respect others a lot more than they deserve, and I’ve always known that some people at work don’t really treat me with the respect I deserve because of the fact that I’m still the youngest at the committee, but ever since I used DRG, I’ve realized that I’ve been lenient in an extremely unhealthy way, which is why my seriousness often gets taken lightly, and is what lead to my behavior changing after the realizations hit me deep.

• Lastly, while the overall major effects stay the same and build up on the cohesive themes and traits of the stack, the order of these two does come with different acute effects: KB1 then DRG1 leads to focus more on understanding myself and what issues I have, as well as their origins (to ease the healing), on the other hand, DRG1 then KB1 leads to uncontrollable sexual energy, to the point that even praying gets me hard

I was hoping that this update would have been done with my custom, but it’s taking some time to arrive, so I guess I’ll continue the stack as it is, and hopefully the custom arrives soon

[praisetheurdtree]

I appreciate the vulnerability and openness, man. The fact that there is an internal conflict about this shows that you have a good heart in there.

[Lion]

@Invictus

on the other hand, DRG1 then KB1 leads to uncontrollable sexual energy, to the point that even praying gets me hard

ROFLMAO!

[Invictus]

So now that it’s been 13 days since the release of DRG, and tomorrow I’d be completing my second week since I started it (a few less days of KB1, but I had previous exposure of it so it’s fine), I’d like to comment some more on the effects I’ve noticed, covering both the new effects + the overall effects:

• Firstly, I’ve commented on this before, but the joyful feelings of DRG are unparalleled in comparison. It will make you feel good regardless of the situation, which leads to being effectively stress free all the time, in fact, just this week I had around 3 different issues at work, where it felt like I’m getting disrespected, but not only was I chill about them, but I also dealt with them with such elegance that even my director got impressed, and later on it lead to me taking over as the project lead for an upcoming event, for which my concept has been approved by the president of the Sports Sector of the Olympic Committee, in other words, I got recognized for my work and ideas by a Royal family member.
• My relationships are better, and the reason they are getting better is simply because of this new side to me that has been blossoming since day 1 of this stack (so from day 5 when I added KB1), and this side of mine is much more balanced compared to my previous archetype combos, because not only am I still the socially addictive dude that everyone wants to be around, but at the same time, I don’t get pushed around by older people at work just because I respect them, as I’ve been realizing that what I was doing wasn’t really me respecting them, but more so “obeying”, and well, that’s not really a “G thing” but after identifying my nativity in my behavior and mindset around older people who I respect, I’ve learned to carry myself in a better way, where I command the respect I deserve, without being perceived as rude or disrespectful.
• I’ve also noticed myself being much more decisive and disciplined with my plans, like I used to be the type who kept my workouts at night, with the excuse that “I get to workout freely without people”, and while that’s a good argument, it was just an excuse I was using to not take accountability for my lack of ability to manage my day/time better, and once identified and understood, it lead to a new breakthrough in the way I approach my days now, and most of my workouts now end up at 4-5pm, and at the latest (due to family or extra work) it ends up being 6pm, but that still leads to me going to bed earlier and having better quality sleep.
• I’ve noticed that something about DRG specifically has been leading to more money manifested, even though that’s the least of my worries at the moment, last month I ended up receiving like 13-14k extra, and this month I got 12k already (the salary to use for July), which is pretty cool, of course, but I’m still intrigued about where this money is being manifested from .
• Lastly, libido’s getting easier to manage, but when it does kick in, it ends up higher than Snoop Dogg on 420 so that’s still an area for improvement, because right now I feel like I’m going through puberty all over again and it’s becoming slightly annoying .

That’s it for now, and I think one more week on this stack should be enough to move on stage 2 of both.

[Invictus]

Entropy stage 1: Ignite ZP

• Dragon Reborn: Gold st1 core
• Khan Black st1 core
• Synergy: Energetic Transcendence
• Synergy: Divine Dominion
• Synergy: Wonders of Life
• Anvil of Hephaestus
• Heracles
• Serum X
• SPS: Endocrine system
• Chosen of Venus
• Joie de Vivre
• Gratitude Embodiment
• Deep Sleep
• Subconscious Flow
• Cosmic Navigator

It’s definitely a smaller custom than my usual ones, but this will be very interesting to run
Might just turn the stage 1 cycle into a full month cycle, and add the additional 2 weeks with this custom as the main driver, which might end up becoming the new strategy for all the stages;

2 weeks as major store subs, then as a compact custom

[RVconsultant]

Since listening to DRG, have you noticed people treating you significantly more respectfully suddenly? As in so significant, even a hardcore skeptic wouldn’t be able to explain it away?

[Invictus]

@RVconsultant

Since listening to DRG, have you noticed people treating you significantly more respectfully suddenly? As in so significant, even a hardcore skeptic wouldn’t be able to explain it away?

Oh shoot I forgot to answer you man, apologies

I wouldn’t say “significantly” more, but it’s enough for it be noticeable, however, this is also due to the fact that I’m showing completely new side of mine to these people.

People who used to use me to joke around, or always turn things like work tasks into competitions, are now respecting me more, cause I stopped tolerating all that, and instead put a stop to it.

Yesterday for example, a friend of mine was joking around and we were having some casual banter, up until he said something to me that I would have overlooked if it wasn’t said right in the middle of the department, and opposite to him were 2 new female new joiners, who obviously heard what he was saying, because they did giggle.

I confronted him about it later in the day in our group chat, and the first thing he said was “woah, where’s all this coming from? This is how we always joked with you, so why do you mind it all of a sudden?”, and tried to act as if I’m the one “overreacting” about it, but instead I respectfully argued my point, and even I was surprised with how eloquent I sounded, and at the end, he still didn’t apologize, but did tell me that he won’t be joking around people again.

Fast forward to today morning, and suddenly the other 2 guys from the group had a shift in their behavior and how they talked to me, and not a single joke was told at my expense, in fact, I was being treated like I was their superior, so there’s that.

[RVconsultant]

This is very insightful!

Thank you!

[Goldfinger]

RV, you sure you’re not a ninja?

Swooping in from the shadows to help people find clarity and reinforce results, then leaving before they even realize what just happened

[RVconsultant]

How did I help you find clarity or reinforce your results?

[Goldfinger]

You haven’t for me, yet; but I see your replies to people on this forum and it’s pretty helpful

[Invictus]

What a wonderful experience it has been with the first stages, it was enough to make me realize the areas that I have been lacking in as both a person and a man, and it’s safe to say that confronting these issues head on has already changed a lot in my day to day life.

I’m already super grateful for the changes I went through, and they’re pretty much all summarized in the posts above, but the biggest change I’d have to say is my mindset; no more tolerating bullshit from people just because I respect them and don’t want to cause an upset.

And so, we now move on to stage 2, and in classic Invictus tradition, I present to you all:

Entropy stage 2: Expand ZPv2

• Dragon Reborn: Gold st2 core
• Khan Black st2 core
• Synergy: Energetic Transcendence
• Synergy: Divine Dominion
• Synergy: Apollon Unbound
• Anvil of Hephaestus
• Heracles
• Serum X
• SPS: Endocrine system
• Synergy: Primordial Aura
• Joie de Vivre
• Gratitude Embodiment
• Deep Sleep
• Subconscious Flow
• Cosmic Navigator