EmpERROR - Every great Khan was once an Emperor

Journals - Major Programs
#142

Je m’appelle empereur, donnez-moi une baguette et deux livres de recon.

Gaming is gone I think.

Today my new colleague at work told me I have proven I’m senior with how I’ve been dealing with this ungrateful sh*t sandwich of a integration ticket.

What a fool!

He doesn’t know how hot my imposter syndrome succubus is and how powerless I am. I’m intoxicated with her bro. She’s my one itis. :woman_supervillain: your validation is ignored!

I nominated him to colleague of the year, though. He’s been a champ.

I also feel I care less about female validation from random girls. Which is natural and should be the case as I am in a LTR. Making progress on my reflections. It’s simple once you realise how foolish it is. But it’s hard and I have ways to go.

Every recon wave is like a wave of lava, what’s then left is the strong core only. I am starting to enjoy this dance.

Met with a dietician. Why? I’ve probably read more fitness stuff and done more random diets and fasting fads, and reaped the results, abs and beer bellies, more than all of her clients combined probably.

So why?

Because I like to experience new things and I also want to support my local hot Persian dietician. :smirk:

Second part was a half joke. She is hot, but she can support herself, given her rate.

I want to see what I can learn and also experience something new in the real world.

First up is a blood test.

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#143

Also, halfway done with my 4th cycle of this stack. It’s awesome. But I feel like I’m just scratching the surface. My plan is long term, no need to switch it up. I also feel like ” Be obsessive or be average” holds true. Switching subs is average. I don’t want that. I’m personally done with average.

Speaking of average, I found out the blood tests they take for you they compare to the average man and give you a value based on that. Based on if you’re below the average man or the same. Isn’t that crazy?

And it’s not like they actually have tested all of the men in the world or even in my city, or country. Just 1000 random people and their blood values. Could be smokers. Could be heavy drinkers. Could be stressed individuals. Could be vegans. Could be healthy people. Could be unhealthy people. Could be gigachads (doubt).

Remember, be wary of what you compare yourself to. Average people, average results.

This is just my questioning of statistics and how flawed or misleading statistics can be. I’m not judging anyone, but myself.

Class: Emperor
Subclass: Ramen Slurper
Height: 6’ 1" - 6’ 2"
Weight: 225 pounds

I got a scale. Lol

I’m taking the quest to reroll my subclass and the NPC told me to hit 200 pounds first. Pretty savage.

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#144

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#145

Hello @RVconsultant, may I ask you to change my username to Risky? Thanks in advance. :raised_hands:

#146

Others make love, Khans make movies.

Every moment, ask yourself, how can I make this a movie?

:popcorn:

Can’t wait. But I can wait. No wait.

#147

Recon alert! :rotating_light:

I don’t want to tell people that I smell alot of recon coping. It’s like Sam trying to tell Frodo he lost the way. It’s not my place to point it out and Frodo won’t listen anyway. Matter of fact, he might attack me.

You’re your greatest enemy. Lost in a mist of recon.

It’s fascinating how rationalisation work. But I’m far from perfect. I’m using this time of judgement to reflect the mirror back on to me. Where am I coping?

Sadge

#148

What’s your take on seeking sexual validation?

Not sex per se, but the validation one gets from knowing someone is attracted to them and want sex, but me not actually going through it. I’m in a LTR, and we have a great sex life, but I still from time to time get intoxicated into this spiral of flirting and seeking this validation from others,

#149

It’s just pointless, I need to work through it.

One way is realising how pointless external sexual validation is. Another one is remember your goals and purpose. Because this crap is just a distraction.

Also, stop PMO and the sexual validation fantasies/daydreaming.

Work on self- esteem and self- love.

—-
Anyway, I’m done with the 4th cycle. It’s been tough and awesome at the same timetime.

My company interview went viral internally. People coming up to me and giving be compliments on the article. Everybody know who I am. I partied with some upper management and some baddies, had a few glass ceilings shattered. They are human, I am human.

I was being checked out multiple times at a xmas party. Hence what triggered the sexual validation frenzy. Deep down, there is still some lack in me that craves that. Like I wake up a candida but for sexual validation when I get so hit on.

Project going great. Almost done.

Cheers to the next cycle! :clinking_glasses:

1 Like
#150

Man, I felt like a star at the party. I’m not even running Stark. But I have ran Stark extensively in the past.

Anyway, 102kg now. My goal is to hit 80-85kg.

Recon has been rough this past weekend. I think it’s too much cognition, because the recon is all related to my performance at work. I don’t know.

I’m thinking of easing it a bit by running my subs Monday, Wed, Fri, one day dedicated for each. To help with the processing.

Hitting the gym hard is nice, but having multiple days in a row feel like intense sore leg day is not worth it when you have alot of responsibilities. Metaphor for subs.

I’ll give this setup a try.

So next cycle we push all subs up a minute. Cycle 5:

  • Emperor
  • IG: UPX
  • Limitless

I also need to step up my journaling and dig into the recon more. Explore it deeper. Because I think I’m takibg enough action already.

#151

It’s the greatest enthusiasm boosters there is - if it’s tied to an activity

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#152

Indeed, Kitty power.

#153

I’ll elaborate what I said previously about it boosting enthusiasm tremendously

Imagine you are going to the gym with the goal of looking better. You go there 1 month, 2 months, 3 months… and while you do look better, no one mentions it - brain be like “wtf why are we wasting time and energy then?”

and now imagine that a lot of woman that you find attractive start flirting with you, pointing out your gym progress and that you look amazing - don’t even have to have sex with them, though that’s gonna be a bonus. And the original chain of “Go to the gym → feel pain and suffering (while lifting) → get attractive woman complimenting you → feel great” turns into “go to the gym → feel great”.

I mean, working out can’t feel good by itself, it’s impossible in theory. Like imagine just going somewhere where you can spend a ton of precious energy, tear down muscles and wear down CNS for an hour and then just leave. It only starts to feel good when you see how it affects your Social/Sexual dominance or gives you more resources that you want. The brain then changes its opinion of the thing because of the dopamine and testosterone boosts that you get from the proof of becoming a better, more dominant specie

Yet you also mentioned porn and PMO, I fully agree that it’s a very negative habit.

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#154

I see your point. But…

There can be a sense of pride, of seeing the weight go down or up (depending on goal). And also knowing you did something hard and your body is sore. I can feel powerful and happy after a gym session. If you do cardio, it triggers happy chemicals as well.

The issue I think is related to validation in my case. Hot girls are surrounding me right now and it triggers this need for validation, and PMO. I need to get that from within. I don’t know man. I’m in deep processing right now. But doing the gym for the girls is part of the issue. Girls is a way for me to get validation. That’s not healthy for me.

Anyway, I think large part of my recon is also from having too many subs and limitless hitting on deep issues, which have been too much at once. I might cut it out next cycle, to check if recon is heavily tied to it as I thought. I already got IG in there.

I have also been eyeing AoH. But seeing as it might also deal with issues around internal validation and self- love, I’ll hold on that.

Emperor and IG: UPX.

I need focus and stable growth right now. Too many spinning plates right now.

#155

boring as hell. So what if the numbers go up and down? what do I get in return? Do I get my body sore just for some meaningless numbers? Of course not! Strength and looks are original goal until gym started to feel good

I’m yet to see an activity that people do which is not tied to increasing one’s own dominance. Even addictive behaviors.

Masturbation and porn → tricks your brain into thinking you are in some free sex paradise, obviously fake dominance but brain doesn’t recognize the difference between real and imagined

TV series → insane dominance, you are ABOVE the billionaires, kings, rules and whoever it is in the tv series and you are watching them and judge them. Fake as well but doesn’t matter

Gym → getting stronger, therefore increasing social status (pretty priviledge + are perceived as more dangerous by other man) + sexual dominance (able to get more and better woman if you are muscular).

Work → resources (money) + social status (from money and from work position) + indirectly sex (from having lots of resources and social status)

Even drinking coffee is addictive because of this. Coffee is disgusting yet the brain makes you like it because it gives you energy/masks fatigue, therefore increasing dominance - you can hunt for longer now

I can go on and on forever

I don’t think you should fight it and instead just accept it. It’s temporary - just until the brain builds a strong association between gym and eventually feeling great, because right now for you it’s like “gym → get validation → feel good”. Eventually you will have a “gym → feel good” association.

An exercise for you is to take the “gym” concept and figure out all ways it increases your dominance.

Actually, I’ve known about this dominance thing already but 30sec AoH made me realize how this is the key difference for me. I recently made a thread asking how to find an activity that I’ll love doing and monetizing and only after running my first AoH loop, I realized that I didn’t practice what I preach and therefore had my question in the first place lol. So yeah, AoH might work really well for you

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#156

Interesting perspective. :ok_hand: thanks for sharing

I agree with your point that sex ”rules” the world. Or I think that men do alot of things for just sex. It’s a powerful motivator But I think I can transcend that paradigm. I need to let go of the ” I’m good with girls” identity. Sure, initially it’s good as a motivator. I believe most men in self- help probably got into it because of PUA. But it’s just a paradigm, I believe there are better ones.

:cat: is power, as my favourite philosophers (rappers) like to say. I’m not saying suppressing sexuality, but not seeking validation through it. Not seeking an identity of being an attractive man. I’m just a man and that’s enough.

Perhaps it’s impossible.

Yeah, I might run AoH. We’ll see. After a good nights sleep I’m thinking I might need to stay on limitless and run shorter loops. We shall see. Currently on washout.

This project feels like it’s going to make me or break me. This is where champions are made. I just gotta crawl through it, one breath at a time.

Divide and conquer!

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#157

as I said, I think it’s just a matter of time until your brain builds up the strong enough association

Now, if you mean to truly transcend it… then I have no idea if that’s possible lol. Maybe monks did, though I’m not quite sure since the perspective I mentioned can be applied to them. Anyway, I wish you good luck with this

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#158

Highly inspiring post:

Every recon wave I go through seem to hit harder, be more unbearable, and last longer. But when I reflect and explore and persevere, I come out feeling like a damn super hero dude.

We keep going. I can’t not.

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Time to level up the reflections and journaling.

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#159

A new leadership position opened up today for a community in my field of work. I’m going to seek it.

At the party, a guy was also seeking a spokesperson or ambassador for a inclusion task force, being I’m a minority in my job and career in general. He came up to me specifically because he think I would be a perfect match, not just because I’m a minority but also because of my personality. Time to take on bigger responsibility for people like me who perhaps never thought they could code or learn math. Minorities.

Of course, I’m thinking they could have positive reasons for this. But it could also be just another form of ”green washing”. I don’t care.

My head says, I don’t have what it takes.
The emperor in my head says, let’s find out.

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#160

Got great feedback today. I’m making progress on this imposter syndrome bs. I just had a revelation a few days ago and then got great feedback today.

”You’ve made more progress the last two weeks than the last guy did the past 3 years.”

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#161

I’ve come to the realisation that Wanted is actually a pretty advanced title if you come to it from a PUA/seduction mind.

There’s a difference between approaching and just socialising, saying hi to people.

I do not recommend Wanted unless you understand this.

If you understand this and want to cultivate it, then go for it.

Being great with woman is not something you do, it’s being, something you are.

Hard to explain I guess.

Wanted doesn’t chase, if you don’t get that then you’re not ready for Wanted. :slight_smile: