Nothing to be anxious about, mate, if you know that all of them failed to understand that they should have grown up long ago beyond the stage when all the people around them were delighted when they messed around and shit their pants.
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C13 - D3 - Rest
Taking another rest day today. Recon level 2-3/5 (40-60%)
I’ve realised my issue with gaming. It’s not that I hate gaming, I enjoy it alot for an hour or so a couple times a week. But after a while, if I’m present and aware enough, a signal comes, I get bored or done but keep on playing out of habit or coping and then it gets draining.
So I’m basically ignoring my body and feelings and just keep on doing it. Like forcing yourself to drink a disgusting drink. I’m starting to learn to get more in tune with my desires and needs. Accept when I’m done and get off.
The lesson is balance, because I don’t even enjoy it as I used to do (8+ hours a day) or need it as much for coping (8+ hours a day). I have different priorities.
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C13 - D4 - Rest
Another rest day. Recon level at 1-2/5. (20-40%) this fine rainy morning. Which usually feels fine, but I’m a bit ”sore” from the last few rest days and the active processing and journaling. So I’m going to give me more time to integrate.
I give myself permission to win.
I give myself permission to lead.
I won’t fear these old phantoms.
I’m going to expand.
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C13 - D5 - Rest
Another rest day. Recon is around 0% this afternoon. Tomorrow I shall listen.
Great day at work, full focus mode software engineering then got invited to a barbecue for lunch. Met new people and had some laughs.
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C13 - D6 - Listening day
- Limitless - 01:03
Regular day at work except it was super hot today. Went to eat some indian food for lunch. Which is good except it was too hot of a day for spicy food. Big mistake!
Other big mistake: neglecting self-care yesterday. Like staying up too late and not getting on top of hydration.
Fix: Get on top of hydration.
Took a short course on Critical Thinking. There was a myth there that triggered something inside of me and after journaling extensively, revealed an issue I have with giving/getting constructive criticism or questioning things someone else says (critical thinking). It’s supposed to be win/win and for a collaborative reason so we both grow smarter and increase the chance of making positive and correct decisions. Like with colleagues or a partner or friend.
But because of my past experience with this leading to criticism and disapproval, and an ugly vibe, it has come to my awareness I have some limiting beliefs to unravel in this subject.
“the nail that sticks out gets hammered” - type shit.
Thank you for bringing this to my awareness. Thank you for this opportunity to overcome this challenge and level up! 
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C13 - D7 - Rest I
Warm nice summer vibes. My mind is processing things. Growth is occurring.
Got a compliment from a French (new) colleague that I don’t look like a backend developer, I dress like a designer. Lol
Made my day. 
I hear whispers at night…
Khaaaaaaaaaaan!
Soon my friend smirk
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C13 - D8 - Rest II
Last day before vacation. It will be a nice, I’m moving to the new house I bought this summer. Going to be setting up the new office and chilling.
Meditation has been good. A lot of things coming up. A lot of processing and journaling so I’m taking another rest day.
Today I lunched with a friend at a food festival here in town. Was nice to eat authentic food from a different county you don’t usually find in regular restaurants.
I haven’t watched pr0n in 2 months and when I think about M, I feel disgusted. Lol that behavior feels like a dog smelling another dogs behind, or a dog licking its own behind. Eww… low.
I don’t know, but I like this new change. It came naturally and effortlessly, and I hope it stays effortless.
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C13 - D9 - Rest III
Another rest day.
Was out in the sun most of the day. Ate some sushi, processing. I deserve to be happy. 
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C13 - D10 - Listening day
- Emperor - 15:00
- Index Gate: UPX - 15:00
I had a very interesting realisation around conscious guidance and goal setting that I’ll implement and experiment with. I might postpone my switch to Khan, we’ll see.
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I’m curious to hear it
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Inspired by this post. Hope it gives you the same value it gave me:
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C13 - D11 - Rest I
Packing moving boxes kind of day. Surprisingly handling the 30 minute subliminals fine. Recon started at around 2PM, but nothing more than usual. It’s all part of the process of growth.
Action + Journaling + Meditation should suffice.
I’m going to work on improving my goals later tonight. Also study for my next certificate.