Emperor : PACMAN

Journals - Major Programs
#152

If you manage to kill your ego please send me the winning lottery numbers. That’s what I have to say. :smiley:

I like the idea of having total freedom which is the freedom to choose or not choose anything at all.

So I’d face that fear, ideally. Allow yourself to be as beta as you can be. Then Allow yourself to be it’s complete opposite. Then when you can switch between the two at the drop of a hat they may lose their importance and you’ll have a new option show up for you.

There’s also the idea of dissolving opposites, sort of integrating the shadow idea. I don’t know what the process is called but in one hand you’d have all the beta, in the other hand all the alpha, then you’d smash them together so they integrate. You’d probably want to check with an NLP/Hypnotist coach for that kind of thing.

The Syd Banks approach is don’t fight with your ego because you’re fighting with something that doesn’t exist. Ego is only what you think of yourself and the world, nothing else.

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#153

Killing the ego is just a perspective from spiritual traditions
that is heavy on certain concepts and semantics. Dr. Hawkins, Eckart Tolle etc. Transcendent and more masculine-oriented traditions. There is a lot of value in that from a certain perspective. The ego in this sense is pain, masks, hurt, insecurity, false beliefs etc. From that perspective successfully not identifying with the ego (‘killing’ the ego is a fool’s game) makes one MUCH more Alpha. Low reactivity, energy, and value derived internally.

Psychological speaking the ego is just an aspect/collective of identity that navigates and interfaces with life. A healthy ego has a solid sense of identity and self-esteem.

The smartest perspective in my opinion is that what we call or label ego is really just unintegrated parts or fragments of ourselves that we have no relationships to/ a relationship where we treat those parts horribly because we don’t realize they are us or that we are even in a relationship.

Each of those parts has TREMENDOUS power, and wisdom when the right relationship with it is developed. As those parts are integrated and become more whole, we find our internal power, capacity, self-love, and self-trust shoot through the roof. That is real ‘Alpha’ to me. Think of the kind of leader who you would actually die for because of the level of respect and trust you have for them, and them for you, how much they actually look out for you in the way you like. You become that for those parts of yourself. You also then can’t help but become a leader for those around you since everyone is craving to be treated and related to that way and once they feel it, they’re in. Hope that makes any sense

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#154

The ride on Emperor is extremely rough for me. I am going through tons of reconciliation.

Tons of anger keep coming up from time to time. There are various times in which I feel very good on Emperor and other times I feel terrible.

Many members advised that I should go to GLM and Ascended Mogul. These two titles will heal my masculine core and allow me to develop my masculinity with Emperor.

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#155

I was actually thinking of doing the same thing … putting Ascended Mogul and GLM in a custom and running it for 2 months then running Emperor

#156

Did you experience the same on Emperor?

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#157

I was inconsistent on Emperor at best lol… But i did see some recon on it but not terrible amounts… I listened to Emperor many times off and on since joining subclub back in 2018… it was actually my first sub.

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#158

There are times when I feel so strong and confident and times when I just go extreme low even below my baseline.
I have experienced whatever @Skadoosh and @AlexanderGraves experience on Emperor but for me it’s not stable.

Does Emperor constantly make you feel low so that you can consciously take action to pick yourself up?

I have a female coworker that I meet regularly to lay. I am not feeling so close to her now. The bond we had is now fading from my side. We still talk and flirt etc but I don’t feel for her like I once did.

It’s like one day I want to be with her and the next I don’t want to see her or hear her.

There is a new lady at work which I more interested in her.
It seems as if I’m out growing ladies very fast.
The same thing is happening with my partner. She seems very distant from me. I also don’t feel anything towards her. Once starting Emperor the intimacy has decreased. She still obeys me and wants me around her. But that connection is gone.

When it comes to productivity…yes! That is extremely visible. Waking up before the alarm etc.

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#159

Nah. If anything its as always recon. Sometimes this goes REALLY deep.

Could also be reshape of your hormonal system that’s definitely making you feel low until its resolved.

The Emperor is very focused on people that ADD to his life. Maybe you now see that the occasional sex doesnt really add to your purpose and life, so you are less interested.

Take a few days off and see if anything changes. Maybe there is deep processing happening.

4 Likes
#160

What you’re experiencing is growth through the pain (healing=recon). The healing process (recon) causes that fluctuation (ups and downs). Emperor (and any sub) gets deeper and hits harder with time while healing you through the process called reconciliation. That’s an essential part of the transgression, switching from your old hypnotic state (and patterns) to the new one. You can ease that process by running more essential (especially, healing) subs first, I BELIEVE.

5 Likes
#161
#162

Fuck!!
Today I feel jealous!

At my current workplace my uncle works here as well. Like I explain earlier on that his behavior towards me has changed drastically. I was close to him while growing up and know I can sense a change in him.

When ever he comes into contact with me he will pass comments with the aim of belittling me. When ever we are in the same area he is always on an edge towards me. It’s strange I have no idea what I have done him.

It could be stemming from family fued but from what I can recall I didn’t do him anything at all.

He was the one that was instrumental in getting me to take a transfer to this workplace like I mentioned in the Khan journal. And now when I do think back about it I had a very hard time getting that transfer approved…my subconscious knew that this place will be toxic to me.

This is definitely linked to Emperor but I have no idea why it’s manifesting this way.

Just to add I’m getting shit tested by males a lot.

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#163

Can you describe more about the jealousy?

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#164

Its more in relation when I noticed a male approached the lady I was seeing at work.

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#165

You want to feel more Alpha and unbothered basically? That concerns you a bit?

In a nutshell, with the other points you’ve mentioned (getting tested by men), it sounds like growth and processing.

If possible, feel the discomfort and doubt, but also, sometimes, are yourself to laugh at the situation.

Look at us. A bunch of evolved apes. Putting on a bunch of fancy clothes and using machines, but still at the end of the day worried about f**king, feeding, and finding a good position in the herd.

Also, my own opinion, find a physical outlet that lets you feel your limits, feel your strength, and breathe deeply. Helps to get the energy moving. Maybe you already have something like that?

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#166

That’s the training regime I follow at home.

#167

I get the same feeling now. I give a shit about my job and how my superiors perceive me.

I am not even getting tasks done.

#168

Are you still running Emperor, mate?

#169

I’m on Ascension.
I found it hard with Emperor in the work place.

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#170

How has it been working for you so far?

#171

So far it’s good.
It gels well with my current environment. Lots of status but doesn’t make me unapproachable.

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