Embarking on StarkQ; my way

Journals - Major Programs
#1 
Ive decided to jump into stark as my main sub. Some of you may recognize me for my picture, Ive changed the name for professional reasons but ill keep the pic so im still known as the same person. Anyway Stark seams to fit me much better than emperor did. Ill post updates here at least once per week at a minimum, im mostly looking forward to the increased limitless content in this one while still having all the goods from emperor.

Im not the most active right now with the current events and all. however, come may ill have a completely foreign challenge on my hands having my real estate license arriving in the mail, and thats when real results will show. today was day 1, i started with just one loop today after seeing how long it was. Im excited to see the effects of this one and I hope at the very least this journal will serve as evidence against placepo.

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#2

Day two; the license has been issued, roughly fifteen days earlier than anticipated. Coincidence?
No way to know for sure, stay tuned…

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#3

day 6, april 9;
a little more drive and motivation maybe,

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#4

Day 8: dreams, they haven’t been this clear and numerous since I was on AM.
It was like I was a passive whitness like mr.scrooge looking back on his life. A campsite where a man and his girlfriend where doing campsite things.
I woke up a couple times, and the next dream was my room full of stuff, like cluttered; 4 sewing machines and a spinning rack with those little japanese stuffed novelties, my room in reality is almost obsessively tidy. After that I woke up in a panic twice like their was something encroaching on me, that I thought was strange.

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#5

Oh yeah, and another one was me being transported to this small one room building in a city, people standing around the outside, I go in and theirs barstools along the sides with people, my uncle and his wife are there but we didnt talk.

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#6

Day 12: emotional healing and self awareness is what I feel like is happening lately. I feel like im seeing more clearly than ever the evolution of my false identities and egoic ways of getting attention and or approval. Im creating the possibility of releasing my need to feed into it. To have fun and enjoy the present without being effected by the thoughts of other people achieving more relative to me, and me not being “good enough” right now.
Increased body awareness.
I might start a daily yoga practice.

Also I should probably add that im stacking stark with rebirth, limitless v2 and sanguin.

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#7

day 14:
better body awareness skills allowing me to manage emotions much better, as soon as a sexual urge comes up i can feel it, accept it and release it, and it just fades out of my body! same with disempowering feelings. Yoga seems to help with this connection and control of the inner state which i commit to practice every morning now.

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#8

Day 20:
The biggest thing I can say as far as improvement is that I’m more consistent with my daily morning routine, also more in control over my urges and emotions. Its like my mind is being more cooperative with my vision of how I want to be. That being said there’s a sort of subconscious habit momentum battle going on that’s mostly observable when I’m talking to people; Its like that more socially relaxed, dominant, confident persona in in my mind is just sprouting. I find myself surprisingly in that state around certain people mostly strangers, but than around people I know well I’m back in the more socially anxious, timid, pinched off voice state which has been the default for most of my life.
I feel like it has to do with my self image that has been displayed in the presence of these people and now my mind has to stick with it in there presence to match the self image…
feel free to comment if you’ve experienced something similar. That’s all for now.

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#9

Day 22: I got some constructive criticism from a friend of mine that is in real estate, he said the way I talk is too monotone. I have to say I agree and its good that im on stark because my personality as it is now is far from charismatic and engaging. More literal and dry really which isnt the best for sales. So the main personality trait i want to cultivate is a emotionally engaged and charismatic one, which I will work on by talking to people on the phone and practicing since I cant really socialize in person now. Other than that I have felt more lively and active lately.

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#10

Day 24: not sure if this is an effect of the subliminal, but im starting to think the subs effect is soo all encompassing thats its hard to say what is an effect and whats not. becoming more aware of the simplistically emotional nature of people, as opposed to an idealistic world that my mind likes to use as a model of what people or I should be doing, or look like, or br able to do.

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#11

day 25: last night was an episode of intense dreams and poor sleep. yesterday was the first time listening to rebirth Q which I think is what mainly effected me last night. I might just use the old version since there was a warning for the first one to not play more than a couple times per day, so I can imagine how much more power it is x6 as a Q version.
Ive been feeling like I want to socialize more or be able to at least try and talk to ladies so I tried a free dating site but I ultimately just end up deleting it out of disappointment since it feels like chasing seaguls on the beach and most of them arent very good looking anyways, plus looking through lots of pics of girls leaves a bad feeling like the novelty of porn browsing which ive left behind for good.

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#12

day 26; 4/30/20:
Amazingly vivid, clear and physically accurate dreams last night. When I woke up about half an hour before the alarm I dozed off a couple times and each time I went into some dream. Ive made a great discovery while reading the book: finding flow, Ive been living life mostly not in the moment but as a means to an end. Now im creating the possibility of being autotelic, that is to do things anything for the sake of doing them, the goal is whatever im doing now. Since I cant start real estate stuff untill the shelter in place is over Ive been helping my mom with her business online, and I actually get really into it and enjoy learning how online marketing works. The book is not the only lessen that manifested for me. I dont know how well you guys remember the movie ace ventura pet detective, im sure everyones seen it at some point. Ace is a very animated and dramatically charismatic character, and couldn’t help but relate to his expressive energy like thats how i was much more so as a kid. Im giving myself permission from now on to be as expressive and animated as I feel an impulse to be, which happens much more ive noticed in the moment and in an autotelic state of mind!

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#13

Day 27: the late night fm dj voice is emerging more daily, more confidence, more speaking from lower in the torso and comfort in the body

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#14

Day 31: Interesting physical effect I’ve noticed consistently after listening to a loop of start Q; light nausea feeling and mouth starts watering more, doesn’t make me want to throw up or anything though.

I had a video interview with a broker and I had a confident deep voice, I’ve noticed this effect happening more often and I think it gives a better impression on people like its high status, its good.
lately ive been feeling inferior, disempowering feelings and thoughts coming back telling me why I cant do something or achieve the things I want to like; your too socially awkward to be trusted or taken seriously in business, your too young looking, i dont want to put myself out there socially because im embarrassed, im not good enough to be myself socially etc. etc. I’m aware that I said all of these things about myself and I take responsibility for it.

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#15

Day 34: same listening pattern; 3 days on, 2 loops of stark each, 5 days off.

the broker I interviewed with didnt want me to sign up with them for whatever reason, Ive got another possibility lined up with a family friend who’s an agent, im not worried about it. My mentality towards the financial realm is pretty much as long as ive got a definite plan and I keep persisting than ill eventually get somewhere. Ive been thinking alot about purpose, and my “why”. Why do I want to make lots of money with real estate? Is it just material desire, or do I want to have some way of giving value or serving people that is the best way for me to do so? Sometimes I wish I had some kind of special gift, talent, idea or genius that would allow me to create something amazing, original, unique. Like Elon Musk and all the other rare humans that contributed greatly. I just picked real estate because it made the most sense to me from a “creating wealth” standpoint.

Well I definitely picked the right sub because if I want anything the most its to find that way that I can give the most value to society, people of earth. Not much other effects this week other than the usual insanely bizarre dreams which have been quite entertaining lol.

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#16

day 41: 5/15/20;
Ive been more into my radio control stuff lately, im building a track with the rototiller and rake haha.
had some reading improvements, im able to just scan over lines and my mind visually recognizes the words, instead of my old habit of getting verbally stuck on each word saying the in my head, much faster the new way. BTW im reading millionaire success habits, its a good sales focused PD book.

#17

Day 42:
Amazing day, I was in an enthusiastic state of mind pretty much all day. It felt like I was just being pulled or propelled to do what im doing and working towards my goal or vision by my enthusiasm!

Its a state of mind that comes in a package with other attributes, like comfortable, confident, im my own man and im gonna act on my own accord kind of way of being, it also comes with a deeper, more relaxed voice.

Oh and the reason I think is because I was creating my radio control race track in the backyard and we rented a tractor for another job so I got to work on shaping the track with it too.

This is a state of mind which I have gone in and out of and its becoming more dominant which is awesome because it feels great.

Im creating the possibility of carrying this same level of enthusiasm into my real estate career to make some serious greenbacks.
Thats all for now

#18

day 46: I got an opportunity to test my “game” with some similar aged ladies. My body behaved surprisingly well as far as body language and vocal tonality. It was like; cool im confident enough now for them to give me the time of day.
my verbal game can still get much better though as im not very used to emotionally spirited interactions.

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#19

day 52:
Been feeling an emotional sensation in the chest, light burning, ive connected it to some disempowering thoughts.
An effect ive read about in some other journal which makes me think its a more common thing; alot of the time I feel stifled and have a kind of pinched off voice, and it’s usually accompanies withe the chest feeling. Now around strangers most of the time i come off more confident with a stronger voice, because I have no previous self image with them. That effect started happening when I started running subclub programs actually.

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#20

day 55: yesterday I started running stark after the 5 day break. Last night I had multiple dreams: I was on a laptop and it was like I was being hacked; couldent click out, more windows popping up, glitching around etc.
walking in and out of some kind of underground layer, someone was dwelling there, creepy.
But there was one amazing joy filled dream with a girl, and we were enjoying each others company in a tent. This is something new because usually when my dreams feature girls they are hostile towards me or with a boyfriend.
Increased interest in reading, multiple chapters a night now

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