Ecstasy of Freedom (1 YR of EoG, AM, StarkQ)

Journals - Major Programs
#21

Day 5 - In pit lane getting four fresh tires. So far no adjustments on the car. Changing strategy of 3 days on 1 day off. Saw someone else was getting solid results from it and my intuition says go for it.

Setup: Acceptance Meditation + Rest Day 2. Even though it’s a rest day I listened to the commander before a meeting.

POM: I worked on my first ebook that I am going to offer for free.

Notes: I have noticed that I have some serious inner demons when it comes to fear of failure. I work on a project for a while until my subconscious starts pushing really hard against my ability to get past my fear of failure. Then I quit that project and start again. I notice that I do the same with subs, once the real inner work begins my minds resists really fucking hard.

The last couple of days I have felt like dog shit as all of my toxic emotions are rising to the surface waiting finally to be released. Some are buried miles below the surface. EoG ST 1 and Stark seem to be dragging all of my toxic bullshit out of my mind. But my mind is not letting go without a fight.

I have been practicing Acceptance the last 2 days which is really difficult because feeling like this is not fun. But I have noticed the pain is less intense and I feel lighter.

#22

How about taking a rest day?

#23

I took 2 rest days. I felt that early on in rest day 2. I really believe it was my SubC dealing with internal demons. I feel pretty great on my 4th and final loop for the day. We will see what happens after I am done listening. StarkQ seems to be the one that causes the most conflict at the moment.

#24

Day 6 - Back on track and had a solid outlap.

Setup: Q and Ultimas.

POM: Got a skillshare membership. I completed some lessons on social media organic traffic. I also worked more on my ebook as well as laying out how I want it to look and try to deliver a really good product.

Notes: Stark provided some awesome moments of clarity and productivity. I hope I can keep that. When I have clarity, I do really well. I struggle when I am in a fog.

Looked at House of Medici possibly for next year if I combine Stark and EoG ST 4 in a custom wealth sub. But I have a full year of Stark and all of the EoG stages to do first.

Still feeling a bit of a burning sensation in my heart center, but it is not bad.

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#25

Day 7  first half of the lap was not a good lap, tried an in car adjustment and caused the car to get all out of whack. HOWEVER I relaxed afterwork. Played some video games, ate pizza. Took a 30 min nap then Stark kicked into high gear and I finished my bare basic rough draft. Planning on adding extra elements in later. So it was a great second half of the lap.

Setup: Commander SC + Q-subs

POM: Worked on my rough draft for an ebook.

Notes: I had some reconciliation in my heart center after listening. To alleviate it I tried the anahata from Iawake. My recon in heart center went away but it threw me into a terrible brain fog. Note to self listen to warnings and don’t do that again!! Although it cleared up after listening to some music.

The nap really did me wonders. I know I won’t rely on them but I listened to my instincts and they were correct. Now my instincts are telling me to shut it down for the night and work again tomorrow.

I noticed my fear of failure is starting to creep on me again as I completed a significant part of the ebook even though I am purposely using it as a learning opportunity and that I am going to give away for free.

#26

Day 8

POM: Didn’t do much today.
Setup: Libertine SC + Q + Ultimas

Notes: I found a class on skillshare that will aid my photography skills. I will take that tomorrow as that seems like my next step.

#27

You’re taking action, and that’s about 90% of what allows the mental changes to take place. You’re doing great!

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#28

Thank you for the words of encouragement!

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#29

Day 9
Setup: Rest day

POM: Completed my photo class.

Notes: Slight reconciliation, but I only got 6 hours of sleep the night before so that is probably the reason along with I ran my custom Ultima for the first time.

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#30

Day 10.
Setup: Qs + Ultimas + Commander SC
POM: Nothing.

Notes: My old boss who is now my boss’s boss was being a pain this morning micromanaging to the Nth degree. I fucking hate answering to someone else. So my start today sucked and put me in a FUCK YOU attitude towards work.

Didn’t have an overall great day but I enjoyed my walk and the two nascar races today. I didn’t sleep much last night and all weekend. So I am facing some reconciliation. So grateful for my wife.

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#31

I’m going to encourage you to consider taking a few rest days and getting more sleep.

PS I hope your boss is kinder to you.

#32

Unfortunately I don’t think this was a heavy recon situation. I work in a very toxic work environment and before subs could not even consider leaving it. My stack has started to slowly free my mental bonds. I did a lighter stack today and feel pretty decent.

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#33

Day 11

Setup Commander SC  + Qs + LB

PoM: I took two pictures and edited them for my ebook. As well as changed some of the material in it.

Notes: Love Bomb v2 feels like a happy drug. It softens my other subliminals and puts me in a slightly better mood. Note this goes up and down. Something I feel normal and other times I am surrounded by unconditional love coating my body. It encouraged me to have a better attitude. Not forced, but more of inner dialog of " I understand you feel this way, but that’s look at it in a better manner." Despite this great effect, I am taking out of the stack since it causes too heavy a load with my 4 other titles.

I feel frustrated that I am not where I want to be. This is not something new that I am dealing with.

#34

Congratulations on your steady progress with your book!:trophy:

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#35

Day 12
Setup: GMeditation + EoG1/RICH/StarkQ/Sed + Beyond limitless SC

POM: Revised my ebook. Planning to get a list of things I need for photos of it. Bought a similar ebook to try to figure out how to beat it in quality (using my competiveness to my advantage)

Notes: The last 3 days I have Skyfall by Adele stuck in my head. It could be coincidence or it could be my old programming crumbling away.

Took a nap during my lunch break, it was pretty great.

I still really really hate my job.

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#36

Day 13
Setup: Rest Day

Notes: I had a nice night with the wife, so didn’t get much done on my book. Not that way, get your mind out of the gutter.

I learned that you are not supposed to have 11 modules in a custom Ultima yet for some reason, I do.

I will run 3 days on 1 day off cycle with EoG, StarkQ, and RICH. I will run one day on one day off with my heavy custom. Each only at 1 loop each to minimize chances of recon.

I ran Infinity from Iawake. As I fell asleep. Woke up groggy but very relaxed. Not sure I will do this much.

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#37

Day 14
Setup: EoG, RICH, StarkQ, WSCU

Notes: Good night with friends, didn’t really see Stark come out. I wonder if my 11 module Ultima is causing me to stonewall or is just a really heavy load and me wanting to switch it out is just recon.

The only reason I don’t think it is stonewalling, is that I very much feel diamond.

#38

Day 15:
Setup: EoG + StarkQ

Notes: Nothing really to note. I just kind of feel very confused about everything in life. Unfortunately this is very normal and I don’t think it is reconciliation. I feel myself spinning my wheels a lot.

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#39

Day 16

Anxiety is a bitch. I thought about work tomorrow and immediately went into an anxiety attack. ASMR is a life savior. Otherwise it was a rest day today. Wife also helped calm me down.

#40

This journal title and journal, by the way, have the most positive take on Wife Seduction that I’ve ever seen.

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