Driver's 2024 Log

Journals - Major Programs
#41

Day 16, day 17, day 18 (tomorrow / Sunday)

Doing a mini washout and starting fresh on Monday with a new sub cycle, but running the Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule again. I’ll stick with 10 minutes sanguine and 5 minutes phoenix. I’ve been experimenting with trauma release exercises (TRE). It’s kicked my arse a bit but I’m going to do that 3 times a week too, at night on the days of listening to subs in the morning. I’m back onto workouts too, 5 days a week, following a routine. I think I might be overdoing it at times with work as well but I’m also getting on better shape with improved fitness by working out and eating vegetarian. I’m kinda working towards what these diet lot call flexetarian, adding some meat a few times per week with dinner. I’ll wait until I feel like I need it, for now this diet works well provided I don’t eat an processed junk food. I don’t know how I stumbled on TRE, but maybe the sub guided me towards this information.

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#42

Day 1: New Sanguine - 15 minutes
Day 2: Rest
Day 3: Phoenix - 15 minutes
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: New Sanguine - 15 minutes
Day 6: Rest
Day 7: Rest
Day 8: New Sanguine - 15 minutes
Day 9: Rest
Day 10: Phoenix - 15 minutes

So far, this cycle is going alright. I do not get as stressed lately in situations that I normally would. I am noticing more physically sensations of stress and tension and when I am feeling it and what types of foods promote it. I’ve been playing around with a few different stress release modalities but because I have been so busy with work my consistency is not great. NoFap is going well, I have reduced porn use to nearly nothing, building streaks with much more ease. I was never that interested in quitting porn because I mostly only looked at nude pictures, but I think since quitting, I feel better overall. I stuck to vegetarian well, until today when I ate slow cooked pork knuckle. It was so good, and it confirms my original thought of being a flexitarian. I had to check my last post to remember what it was called lol. But I think the body tells you when it’s time to eat meat. I definitely don’t need to eat as much as I was, that’s for sure. Workouts dropped off once more. I think working physical makes me not want to bother, but I might try to get in a higher rep workout once or twice a week and hope for the best in respect to body composition.

I’m kind of pumped for daredevil. I am not very social or outgoing, but I always have secret desires to be that kind of person. To let go and be free and have a good time. I’ll have to check it out when it’s released, and I might give it a run if it looks good.

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#43

Day 11: rest

I’m thinking about dropping Phoenix and sticking to sanguine solo. It messes with my sleep and puts me zombie mode a bit the following day, the same as it did last week. Sure I could drop it back to 5 or 10 minutes but I think I should take advantage of another sanguine day seeing as I’m getting good results without recon. Subtle results but I’m a lot more chilled, especially about work and having enough money. Obstacles being thrown up where I have to spend money unexpectedly has not phased me.

That’s what it is, feeling tense about future things, not being able to relax until everything is sorted out. That’s what the sub is overcoming. I can put that appointment next Tuesday aside and remain in the moment and not even worry about that. I used to stress out more than I thought because I tried to stay calm, collected and professional but inside my head is not a place you’d want to be :sweat_smile:

I feel like good things are to come this year.

#44

Day 12: New Sanguine - 15 minutes
Day 13: rest
Day 14: rest
Day 15: rest
Day 16: New Sanguine - 15 minutes

Just getting things organised in shed, sipping on my camomile tea, feeling CAF (calm as f*CK) :joy:

Not really though, I can’t notice much effect from the sub. I even forgot yesterday’s loop. Maybe it’s making me so chilled I don’t even remember to run it.

#45

Day 17: rest
Day 18: New Sanguine - 15 minutes

I started an elimination diet. I think vegetarian made me see more how bad some foods make me feel physically and mentally. I think sanguine might be guiding this, I don’t know but I feel more focused on ‘fixing’ or ‘correcting’ lifestyle elements that aren’t working for me when normally I’m either blind to it or too lazy to care. I’ve also been going eye exercises, although not regularly enough. Learning more and more all the time.

I’ll do a washout now, not sure how long for. I’m kind of keen to put the new daredevil in a stack when it’s released. I might wait for that on washout. I’ll see how I feel. I don’t really feel reliant on subliminals, so I don’t mind longer washouts.

#46

Day 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

Still washing out.

I’ve been working through some tough internal times, not sleeping well waking wracked with negative emotions.

I had a mental breakthrough of sorts, realising I am on the right track with the things I do but I should just focus on doing the ‘right’ thing for myself each moment and have faith things will work out, rather than be so results driven and expecting outcomes.

I guess it’s a lot less stressful, there’s no disappointment, but ironically potentially better outcomes. It’s a form of acceptance I guess, being less controlling and needy. Also if I somehow do the ‘wrong’ thing by myself, I can continue on with positive action, rather than assuming all progress is lost and become self destructive.

I’m still keen to test daredevil, but still no release after trawling through the release thread yesterday and today. I think it might be recon city for me that sub but in all honesty, I feel so dull I certainly could use a DD boost. Or I could stay washing out indefinitely. I have had more thoughts to give up subs again. I read it could be recon, but I don’t think it’s that. I think sometimes that I do better with conscious guidance compared to running subs. I usually feel less fuzzy and more grounded. But I have had really good periods running subs too. Genesis made life fun, emperor gave me confidence and self belief, limit destroyer and phoenix helped lead me to this point of reflection.

I think now I come to terms with the idea of using the subs to experiment and have fun with, rather than choosing an exact sub that aligns perfectly with my life goals as if it even matters. I think this attitude exists because beyond an interest in the current project, I don’t really desire things like sex, money and power much these days. I’m more interested in mastery of self, not in a strict pass / fail sense but in a commitment to walk the fine line of being true to myself and untangling some of those internal energy knots. To find the answers within, and not seek external validation / approval.

Anyway, I’ll stop waffling on now and continue my wash out…

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#47

Day 26, 27

Washouts

Kind of tempted to run emperor again after reading through the main emperor thread. The results ppl write are pretty impressive.

Also DD appears close, and I have a morbid curiosity to test that one out because I am quite unsociable but deep down there is a desire to be the opposite. It might create a bit of recon, I don’t know.

I had a weird dream last night, the first one in a while. I was at the town I grew up in and everyone I came in contact with was taller than me and I was wondering wtf was going on with all these tall ppl. I didn’t feel insecure at all in the dream but it was weird, and they acted a bit alien towards me, like they weren’t fully human or I was an outsider in some way. I’m quite tall irl so it was an unusual thing to dream. Probably links to some insecurity.

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#48

11 day washout complete before this new cycle.

Day 1

New Emperor - 7 minutes

I felt like running a sub and CBF waiting for DD. I can feel emperor kick in fast. I like it, it’s noticeable. It’s like a boost to energy, confidence, inner strength and productivity. I might keep listening to 2 days a week, Monday & Thursday.

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#49

Day 2

Rest

Did a big tree trimming job yesterday. Was attacked by a massive nest of wasps. Was pretty intense, I jumped from high on a ladder :joy:

Mid back is tight and sore. I lay flat on the floor last night and foam rolled and that helped a bit but I might need to do some yoga after looking at mid back strength and stretching exercises.

Looks like daredevil release is imminent. I’ll probably give that a run today (day 3) if it comes out.

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#50

Day 3

Daredevil - 7 minutes

Felt pretty smooth, had no recon, compared to emperor on day 1 when I noticed some recon with jaw tension. But DD feels good, no tension or anxieties so far. I’m hoping this sub works for me because I hold myself back a lot in family life and business due to introversion / shyness.

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#51

Subliminal flexitarian, I guess.

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#52

Lol exactly. I think I was expecting too much from the subs and then I realised that I’m the one with the power and they’re my backup, not the other way around.

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#53

Day 4
Rest

Day 5

Daredevil - 7 minutes

Things went well past two days. I might have a rest over weekend from subs or I might stick with the one day on, one day off schedule. I’ll see how I feel on Sunday. I kind of like DD so far, I thought I’d get hit bad with recon but instead it’s really helped improve my anxiety.

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#54

Day 6
Rest

Day 7
Rest

Day 8
New Daredevil - 7m

Day 9
Rest

In a weird way it’s getting me the results I expected from Sanguine. Very chilled, no anxiety or fear of the future, a nice level of energy. I’m just happy to be present and do my best, not worried about the thoughts or expectations of others. Not worried about the future or potential problems as much. I’m solving problems without panic. Maybe my deeper rooted issues that manifested as social anxiety and fears / panic are being indirectly or directly hit. Who cares either way, as long as results continue that’s the main thing.

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#55

Day 10
Rest

Day 11
Rest

Day 12
Rest

Day 13
Rest

Day 14
Rest

So that will count as a washout. Just kind of had too much going on this week and I didn’t feel like running subs. I’m going to start fresh on Monday with a new cycle, probably with a combination of new daredevil, new sanguine, new primal. One loop of each, DD Monday, sanguine Wednesday, primal Friday. I’ve always stuck with one sub, so this will be a different experience.

#56

Thinking more about things, I’m going to be more disciplined and work on myself over winter. I’m leaning towards DR:LD again.

DD was a nice thought or novelty but I don’t know if I can escape my ‘sigma’ ways or if I even want to.

I should be more organised with daily habits and tasks though. I’m scattered and easily let things slide. So I’m leaning towards Emperor and DR:LD to help with this. I don’t really want to be lazy over winter because I don’t work as much. I want to stay busy and committed to self improvement.

#57

I meant to say DR Phoenix too that last post. Man, I can’t keep up with everything here, I get confused :joy:. Now I’m thinking even about Phoenix solo for now while focusing on daily actions to improve myself. Got to get back to the stuff I was doing during dopamine detoxing and get more into some real world stuff instead.

#58

I did a 15 minute loop of Phoenix on Monday (now Thursday) and let’s just say I regretted that.

It took a few days to overcome the negative effects of impatience, anger etc. I read a few reports of ppl running full loops no problem but it works a bit stronger for me. I’ll probably start fresh next week with a proper cycle.

I pick and choose subs, change stacks and plans all the time in my head. My mood changes and so does my stack :joy: dunno wtf to do about it. I think about running sanguine again and being more chill, then I get an uplift mood and start thinking emperor and being productive is the way to go. Then I think maybe I should explore DD more because that was producing noticeable results. I might can the Phoenix idea though, I think I need more lifting up than breaking down.

I’ll think more about things. I want to get back to dopamine detox again, I’m wasting time on my phone again and being unproductive. I want to get more into reading, meditation, healthy diet and lifestyle.

#59

I’m probably going to run emperor solo to work on productivity, action taking and to help cure indecisiveness. It covers all I need really after reading objectives again. Sure I’d enjoy to be chill with sanguine, but in truth that sub made me lazy AF. DD was good, I consider stacking it with emperor but I’m not sure if they’d clash in some way like DD looking for adventure when I have to focus on the here and now that emperor might help with. I could start a new log, do away with this mess and start a more disciplined new chapter that involves running subs on consistent schedule and taking action.

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