Day 17
LBFH - 5 minutes
I felt drawn to this sub today. I was watching some things on YouTube last night and nearly started crying. Felt a big shift, probably from Phoenix. I’m in battle with those internal barriers of late, the stuff that stops me expressing myself properly with other people. So scared of being judged, so much work and effort has been out into myself to appear ok and to appear like I have it all together, but my vibe is not authentic, I have to somehow let go.
Sounds like Phoenix is digging in, finding your vulnerabilities. I can really relate to those experiences.
I probably would have picked up LBFH myself. It’s the perfect, peaceful sub when those inner walls we hang on to start crumbling. Allow it to happen.
Thanks, I relate to your journal and you put into words these thoughts and feelings better than I do.
Phoenix is good, it seems to dig in and guide me towards who I want to be, rather than who I think I should be.
You’re a very good writer @driver.
It’s tough being real and being honest when all you’ve ever done is hold back.
Give yourself some credit, even though you probably aren’t comfortable with it right now. That’s normal.
It’s the little steps that are the most important 
.
How’s LBFH feeling today?
Cheers. I can write ok, perhaps it’s the introspection which I have difficulties deciphering and converting into words. I’ve never been good with my emotions, repressed a lot of things even as a little kid.
I did not notice much from LBFH TBH. I guess I felt pretty relaxed in social settings, but I don’t know if I was having a good day or if it related to LBFH. I had a IDGAF feeling but it was not from a defensive place of hostility, which I think Emperor brings out in me. It was more like an ‘I am comfortable in my own skin and I don’t care what people think of me’ attitude.
Day 18
Rest Day
I finally am getting around to starting this diet. I’m a bit over eating crap. I want to follow a good training program too. It’s doable, I’ve just got to be committed and make it priority.
Day 19
Rest Day
I’ll take another rest today, might even washout until next week. I feel like I’m slowly getting back in my groove, I think Phoenix plays some role and I’ll keep it as the main sub, perhaps with a sprinkle of LBFH. Even DR:LD could be an addition, but the combination of Phoenix and DR:LD could be too much, I don’t know, I’ll have to read later to see if anyone has done it.
I can see more now from past experience that I need to make myself hit some low points before I can build myself back from. If everything’s going too well and I’m feeling too good, it feels foreign and uncomfortable. I’m not sure why that is, but I thrive as the underdog.
Day 20
Rest Day
I’ve been sleeping well and making some plans for gradual changes / improvements, rather than trying to “fix” everything at once. I’ll do a washout until next week. I don’t have the urge to listen to subs at the moment.
I haven’t done a sub for 17 days. Everything’s been so busy and crazy, I haven’t been able to get into any routine at all. I’ve been doing really well with nofap, I am feeling better everyday doing that. I’m kind of interested in this new sanguine. I’ll have to check it out when it’s released. Hopefully a few other upgrades might come too.
The only sub I think I can run right now is Phoenix. I like how I feel running that one, it works well for me. I like the thought of sanguine too because I can stress out a bit when too much is going on at one time.
Anyway, I’ll check in for a bit this week and see if anything new comes out. I might start a new sub cycle next week if it feels right. Try to get back into some good habits. I’m feeling a bit fluffy so I know I’ve got to get back into diet and lifting weights again.
After reading Sanguine full description, I’m going to run it as a main subliminal and maybe add in Phoenix in. I just want to see how it works on its own first.
It should be a good fit for my lifestyle because I am working towards eradicating negative influences through dopamine fasting and focusing only on things within my control.
This part of description really spoke to me too cause I totally do that. I work myself up assuming the worst only to be surprised time and time again how easy things are solved and people want to work with me to solve issues, not against me.
Since being here on the forum and running Genesis, I’ve cleared up many issues,.some that have been plaguing me for years. In particular an insurance claim issue that was only finally resolved at the end of January this year.
This feels like the time to fully let go of all the bullshit I once believed about myself and have a fresh start. This sub just sounds too good not to try. Whenever I read a sub there’s always stuff in it that makes me scrunch my nose 
and think, yeah, nah… but this one sounds great from the descriptions beginning to its end.
I won’t wait until Monday, I’ll start day 1 tomorrow (Friday). Only cause I prefer listening in the morning and not before bed, otherwise I’d try a loop now. No point waiting until Monday, I’ve nearly washed out for 3 weeks.
Day 1
New Sanguine - 5 minutes
Goals:
The goals have not really changed from the first post of the thread. Except screw MFP, I can’t diet that way.
I was tempted to do a full 15 minute loop but I’ll build up because even though the sub promotes optimism and positivity, I could get a bit of recon as I’ve lost a bit of faith in people and societal structure over the past few years. I think that’s why it’s important to put my faith in God and not man. Live my best life despite the circumstances, seeking a blissful state within.
I think I’ve felt slightly calmer so far today. It’s hard to judge though. I might go back to 15 minute loops for this sub and dial it back if needed. I’m tempted to do 10 minutes now, but I guess I’ll wait until Sunday and do a full loop.
I’ve googled a few times on relaxation techniques, thinking of ways I can chill out. I think I have some good things going now but consistency is key. I probably won’t update this everyday but I’ll check back in soon to discuss results.
Day 3
New Sanguine - 10 minutes
Not a lot to report, although I have setup both a breathing and meditation app on my phone. I like doing breathing exercises more so than meditation but I’ll work on both.
I’m being tested today, kids are erratic as fck. I’m doing better than usual but certainly not zen or sage like yet 
Booked out with a lot of work next week and I’m going to attempt a full week of semen retention, to see how that helps improve overall energy levels. I’m also cutting back on eating meat for a while. I think I eat too much so I’m going lacto OVO vegetarian (I think it’s called), which is eggs and dairy but no meat. So far I notice not much difference and eventually I might eat meat only one meal at dinner time but I’ll see how it goes.
Day 4
Rest Day
I wasn’t going to use the log so much but I’m having a good experience with this sub so far. Feeling super chilled out, barely phased by anything. I know if I continue breathing, meditation and nofap stuff daily it will improve too. Also diet is going to play a big part, doing this for good feels, rather than good body, but hopefully things work out well on all areas.
I think because sub aligns so good with my intentions that recon hopefully not be a big problem. I have had none at all so far, I’m planning to start full 15 minute loops tomorrow. I downloaded a bunch of calming music tracks that I’ll use at work through my Bluetooth hearing protection ear buds / headset. When I use it, it’s usually intense music to keep me motivated but now it will be calming or podcasts.
Later I will read subs objectives again to see what’s happening. I’m definitely impressed so far though. I was wondering if I should give up the subs but this one has drawn me back in. Phoenix was good too, I think I will combine this one for 15 minutes with 5 minutes of Phoenix at some stage soon.
Day 5
New Sanguine - 15 minutes
I had some sub dreams last night, that prompted me to do a 15 minute loop today. It seemed to be a healing type dream relating to resentment held towards my parents, which started with mocking them to their face but ended in laughter. It was weird and I’ve felt weird since waking because it’s something I would never say in real life.
The 15 minute loop had my head feeling full at around the 10 minute mark. Maybe I should have stopped, who knows. I’ll see how the full loop plays out. I read the subs description and objectives again and I can see how it’s having an effect. I’m not reliving recent social interactions as much in my head and as result, I’m not negatively reflecting on the interactions. I kind of did not realise how much I did that, until now.
Day 6
Rest Day
Was feeling pretty vague, walking to places to do things and not being able to remember what I was doing when I got there. I also was hammered with dreams after having some trouble going to sleep early. I think these are signs of over expose for me, so I’ll drop back loops to 10 minutes
Day 7
Rest Day
Day 8
Rest Day
I feel on a bit of a mission to cure stress issues. I’m stuck somewhere though between wanting to slip into my comfort zone and pushing myself further.
Going to experiment with 10 minutes Sanguine and 5 minutes Phoenix, starting tomorrow. Feeling really tired like I need more sleep since resuming subs. Maybe Sanguine is pushing me to sleep more. When the alarm goes off I don’t know where I am or who I am. Must be deep asleep.
Day 9
Rest Day
I’ll take one more rest day before listening again. I’m not feeling 100%, too much working in the heat the past week. I’ll start loops again tomorrow.
Day 10
Sanguine - 10 minutes
Phoenix - 5 minutes
I felt super relaxed out in crowds this morning, whereas I’d normally feel tense. Almost a similar feeling as being on valium. People much more friendly too like I’ve noticed running Phoenix in the past. This combo though is even better, it could be the anxiety destroyer I’d always hoped for. I just woke from an afternoon nap, something I rarely do unless I’m sick. I don’t think I’m sick though.
This sub combo is looking promising, could be what I’ve been looking for. I think the vegetarian diet is working for me too. I worry a bit about losing muscle and definition but I’d probably rather feel good and I started lifting some weights again so I shouldn’t look too bad from the diet. I’m eating beans, cheese, eggs and nuts mostly for protein. I considered the protein shakes, perhaps down the track I can try those if I stick with the diet. Digestively I’m doing a lot better eating this way. I ate some meat a few nights back and I didn’t feel as good, until later the following day. White potatoes aren’t that good either, digest wrong with some bloat. I’m switching over to sweet potato instead.
Day 11
Rest Day
Day 12
New Sanguine - 10 minutes
Phoenix - 5 minutes
Day 13
Rest Day
Day 14
New Sanguine - 10 minutes
Phoenix - 5 minutes
Still cruising along, making some inroads in various internal aspects of life. I’ve been meditating and listening to different podcasts which have been helping me to change perspectives with respect to perfection, and how it links to emotional regulation, and the idea that to find happiness in the future, I must first achieve this and achieve that but in truth, I can find these things always right now in the present so long as my thoughts or stories I tell myself are in alignment. I haven’t been on the internet much, I’m trying to detox from information and opinions as much as possible for the moment. I know what I’m doing, I don’t need a Reddit or quora second opinion so I can second guess myself. I did that too long, and now I start to think the whole self-improvement is just a scam, believing I’m never good enough etc. I really like this sub combo, I’ll probably stick with it all year. It’s guiding me in a direction that I knew I wanted to go but something was blocking me, either faulty thought, emotion or more likely both.