Dragon Stage 1 Update

Journals - Major Programs
#62

I’d say not usually-

signs of perfectionism

all or nothing- your diet is either totally on or totally off/ your habits are totally on or totally off

Struggle with one thing at a time -need to change all at once or nothing at all

True perfectionist -don’t get shit done

It’s about the inability to deal with mess and chaos- at best it shows up as insecurity in the face of uncertainty-worries about not doing it right or getting the answer right away.

anxiety about not being able to do something-

perfectionism at is worst is self-deceptive/ self destructive process- it becomes an excuse to not do good things-if I can’t do it perfect-I’m not going to do it at all.

Perfectionism that might relate more to what your talking about can also be more about
concern for approval and conditional acceptance- from either yourself or others
(tying your identity with how your production is received)

solution in either case- be willing to get things done ugly - opposite of ocd of perfectionism- get rugged, dirty, and gritty with what you choose to do- just focus on progress -getting things in the right direction rather than perfectly -be willing to be in the process of becoming- not quite there but getting there.

The obstacle to this will be pride-

Optimize through iteration-only through trial and error. Not figuring it out ahead of time. Know that your commitment is towards excellence but you’ll only get there through trial and error not perfection ahead of time.

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#63

Funny you wrote this because I wrote this sentence down last night as I was listening to my DR loops:

“It’s not about success and failure, it’s about exploration and learning.”

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#64

So things are coming up on Dragon. I believe that Dragon digs deep. I think I have some neediness in me, and I’m not real happy about it because I view it as a weakness. I am not needy to the point of ridiculousness, but it’s there buried down deep. I will seek approval and I will seek connection. The neediness really opposes the alpha persona that I have built - so not real happy.

Not sure how to address this other than to acknowledge it exists and be on the lookout for it.

#65

@Azriel Could this be related to neediness. I just discovered that I have that.

#66

Is it wanting support? Feedback to ensure you’re learning a new skill? Validation of your worth? These are all different things.

If you don’t have alliances, friends, people to rely on, … progress tends to be more difficult.

If you think you need to be a lone wolf, it’s a myth. People who have valued friends and community tend to be in better health.

Some ideas to consider.