Date & Time: Tuesday, 07/26/2022 10:54:42 AM
Subliminal: Dragon Reborn
Stage: 01
Day: 4
Notes:
Before I start getting into what I really want to get into, I need to give some back story here. My ex’s & my relationship has been strained, at best, ever since we got separated & divorced years ago. Frequently, during the last few years, she has blatantly ignored the custody order, tried to get me in trouble with the authorities by filing false documents, etc. For years, I have been fighting all this, trying to find a way to catch her in her lies and deceptions. Additionally, during the last couple of years, she has turned my daughter against me, telling her lies about me, and making her hate me.
I, by nature, am not a malicious person. I know a great deal about psychology, but have always chosen to never use what I know in order to manipulate or hurt others. I, by nature, don’t know how to be deceptive and strategic with others (I should say that by nature, I probably do have this “gift”, but have always chosen not to use it, so I’m very out of practice - let’s leave it like that).
Well, recently, my ex tried to do her usual stuff, and try to mess with me, via the legal system. Usually, I would get angry, and curse and ask why the hell she has to be so deceptive and manipulative. This time, it was much different. I found myself planning 4 steps ahead of her, and before even I knew what was going on, I had successfully caught her in multiple lies and had reported her to the correct authorities, having direct evidence of her lies, trapping her in revealing her lies, herself, in text messages and emails. How did this occurr, you might ask? I found myself intentionally riling her, in order to highlight the situation for exactly what it is.
This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this - but have wished, many times in the past, that I could do it.
At first, I got super angry, then depressed, then, even considered just killing myself, and opting out of all this sheer stupidness…but then, something interesting happened…I found myself getting angry…I mean super angry…and it fueled me, made me say, “no more, absolutely, no more”, and then I just knew I had to change the way I was doing things…change from trying to work things out for the sake of my daughter, to giving my full attention to trip up my ex, to expose the lies and hypocrisy.
I will keep you posted on what transpires, it should be interesting…I find myself being very calculating, and automatically using everything I know about psychology to trip people up all around me, to expose their true motives, so that there are not so many secrets, lies, and deceptions occurring around me.
This is not my natural bent - I definitely attribute this to running the DR sub - it’s like it’s beginning to heal my own view of myself, from one of deserving to have a shit life, to one of refusing to let people lie, deceive, and manipulate my life any longer.