DRACARYS! - Raphael's Primal Ascended Dragon Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#584

Day 55, 56: Saturday, Sunday
Week 1 of Dragon Flight
Rest Days

  • Had to visit relatives on both these days. Noticed that I have no desire to talk or socialise. Part of me overthought everything and the other part of me didn’t feel awkward at all for keeping quiet a majority of the time. No one pushed me to talk either. I was communicative once in a while and always polite. Didn’t feel my usual sense of humor

  • Feels like the closest thing to being a monk or hermit nowadays. No desire for social validation from my relatives although when they do, am grateful

  • Embracing my INFJness to the fullest. Although some parts of my personality annoy me (like my everlasting procrastination), all round I am finally comfortable in my skin, warts and all

  • As they say, self acceptance is the first step towards self improvement. It’s a giant leap too

8 Likes
#585

Day 57-61: Monday - Friday
Week 2 of Dragon Flight
Dragon Reborn ST3 × 2
Paragon Complete Ultima × 4

  • What I thought was “silent zen” during my run of DR ST3, hid a lot of reconciliation. I mentioned in my last post that I was more silent around others when running this stage of DR. This silence was covering up some deep-seated resentment towards both my family and myself for how my life turned out to be

  • A bit of digging from my parents on why I was being wrapped in myself led to an uncontrollable outburst that just didn’t make any sense to me

  • When I mused over it later, I realized that it was all because I didn’t take control of my life instead twisting other people’s concern and help towards me to be a form of control. As the saying goes “If you don’t have a plan for yourself, you will be a part of other people’s plan”

  • Other people’s plans need not be with ill-intent towards me but the anger builds up to a certain level when I have to go along with it with any little sense of power or self-direction

  • My first course of action is to write down a plan for myself and some suitable actions to take. What should my daily routine be with some time kept aside for leisure too. This will help me to take control of my life again

  • I won’t think of getting money at first since that stresses me out. Instead, I will focus on peace of mind, health and building habits/systems that help with skill building which eventually lead to making money in the long run

  • Suffice to say that the past few days were pretty tough for me. Ended up feeling that I was trapped in a hole of my own making. Am glad to be out of it now

6 Likes
#586

Glad you’re feeling better my friend. I had an awful recon as well, and I’ve been very testy with my relationships. I almost wanted to drop everything and just hide away. I knew what was happening to me, and I just had to wait for it to be over.

Stay strong Raphael, and wonderfully written journal, as always.

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#587

Exactly. Felt like a trapped animal who wanted to escape

Thank you very much, @Apollo. Am wishing awesome things for you too

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#588

@Lion

I’m wondering how much you’d benefit if you reflect on where you are now compared to 3 months ago.

What would you have told yourself 3 months ago if you could go back in time and talk to yourself knowing what you know now?

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#589

That’s a very good question

Am absolutely in a much better place now in terms of emotional, mental and spiritual benefits. And a bit of physical benefits too. DR did help mature me over time at a rapid pace especially in letting go of deeper seated issues compared to the effects of Elixir/Regeneration

Many of my past traumas are being uncovered and laid bare for myself to see. It isn’t a pretty sight but things get even uglier if you bury them inside you

When these demons surfaced though, I could banish them away with the Dragon

For me, these old wounds are especially related to my physical illnesses, family upbringing, money issues and the sense of being caged. All of which are surely being burnt away

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#590

You and me both. Dragon Reborn is miles ahead of Regeneration and Elixir.

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#591

Having traumas uncovered either through dreams or introspection still leaves me curious as to what in the fuck I am supposed to do with it at that point?

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#592

I have a feeling it wont be a problem. The solution should be built in to DR.

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#593

Agreed, my friend. Amazing stuff

I don’t do much with them. I let DR do whatever it has to do for me. I do make new promises to myself to affect change though. Time will tell if I take action :grin:

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#594

I hope you’re correct. It doesn’t feel like knowing what the issue is brings any sense of relief or release .

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#595

Largely yes. It’s a bit of uncharted territory but I like to believe that DR will handle it

Along with that, do whatever action we can to support healing like Meditation, Wim Hoff, Yoga, Tai Chi, Joe Dispenza, EFT, etc which I need to do put keep putting off

Okay! Am gonna restart my Meditation practice from tomorrow. Enough procrastination

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#596

@Lion Yoga I can do . The rest of that with the exception of cold baths or showers I have tried and it doesn’t do anything for me.

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#597

Just watched a quick video about this before I went to sleep. Does it work for you?

I’m in the same boat as @James with these things. Never got anything else to work. But I haven’t tried Wim Hof yet…

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#598

Do what works and what gels with who you are. For example, EFT/tapping irritates the hell out of me but many others swear by it

I have yet to try it, to be frank. But I will. It sounds too good to not do

4 Likes
#599

Right on man!

I agree with this. I’m so glad I exchanged Regeneration for DR.

3 Likes
#600

Day 62-63: Saturday, Sunday
Week 2 of Dragon Flight
Rest Days

  • Well it was supposed to be rest days but I played 2 loops of Love Bomb on Saturday afternoon

  • Felt some slight headache during the night

  • Had a social meet with a couple of relative families on Sunday and I found myself pretty relaxed inspite of a continuing headache from yesterday which had reduced a bit. Had a tablet for it and drank some water

  • Will continue the Love Bomb experiment though. Will play 1 loop of it every night (except on rest days of course. Now am wondering whether playing Love Bomb on a supposed rest day, back-fired a bit in relation to the headache)

  • Aside from feeling relaxed, I don’t feel altogether different with Love Bomb although I do feel that it could help with Paragon healing

  • Ah yes, I did notice some looks from both men and women (from the corner of my eyes) when I was outside but didn’t pay much attention to it. Must be the Love Bomb aura. People (including relatives) were also generally polite to me

EDIT: The new Godzilla vs Kong trailer was awesome. Had some fun watching some trailer reactions to it too

5 Likes
#601

Day 64-66: Monday to Wednesday
Week 3 of Dragon Flight
DR ST3 × 2
Paragon U x 3
Love Bomb x 1

  • Took a rest day on Tuesday to address some minor headache. Full disclaimer, my sleep time wasn’t exactly optimal so that might have affected the head pain

  • Some difficult reconcilliation due to Love Bomb so ended up dropping it mid-week

  • Headache’s gone on Wednesday morning. Getting some more sleep and water fixed it

Day 67, 68: Thursday, Friday
Week 3 of Dragon Flight
DR ST3 × 2
Paragon U x 2
Khan ST4 x 1
PCC x 1 on Thursday and RICH Ultima x 1 on Friday

  • Ran a loop of Khan Complete to raise my mood and boy did it do its job. I felt the most alive since a couple of months. I was terribly silent several times the past few weeks and Khan opened me up

  • Out of all the alpha titles, I feel close to what I want to be when I run Khan. Am still debating whether I should add it now or go through DR without masking whatever recon DR will throw at me. The latter could help me grow

  • Was wondering how PCC would run with Khan but one day of usage wouldn’t be enough to show obvious results especially since Khan by itself has strong charisma

  • Bought RICH Ultima on Thursday and played it overnight. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel so difficult to be rich at all. Feels like abundance is right round the corner. And that’s just after one night of playing just one loop

6 Likes
#602

You running Deep Sleep?

Now Raphael… how about being kind to yourself and alleviating recon so you can make progress easier?

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#603

No my friend. Well, I ought to manually run deep sleep more

You have a point. Will think about it over the rest days. Thanks, man

1 Like