DR stack change question

Questions and Comments
#1

Presently, I’m on New Emperor and my LB/Sanguine custom. DR RED is out, and I’m thinking I should switch out one. I’m thinking Emperor since LB has opened me up greatly since starting it up a few cycles back.

I like Emperor. It gives me a steadfastness that I honestly take for granted since some changes have been rather unhindered. I’ve not had fears of the future like I did pre-Emperor (career fears mostly)

However, DR (with NSE) hits the areas and (believed) weaknesses I’ve built my life around. Not even sure I need “help” making this decision–but telling on myself–yes, I’ve used this dysfunctional life tool as well.

Changes continue.

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Changes - Subliminalguy
#2

It’s a hard question.

One the one hand, DR Red could give you the qualities you get from emperor, at least atm.

On the other hand, it could also resolve all the traumas that killed your self love.

Is there a reason why you want to change a title and not just add a third?

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#3

When I use 3 titles, a real watering down seems to happen. And when it’s mixed with recon, every other sub seems more appealing. So, I stick to 2 mostly.

Having said that, I journaled today that I’m considering swapping between Emperor and my LB custom while using DR RED. It might be less recon. (might)

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#4

I would go with the custom LB/Sanguine and DR-red.
Why? Because the custom will help to get through tough moments.
Emperor would be after the dragon depending on how you feel what is missing then.

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#5

I’m kind of agreeing with you since one line in the sales page says this:

I remember feeling that on Emperor years back. Wanting to bolt out of bed and GET BUSY! It was a glorious feeling.

And…this is on a DR sales page… It’s a beautiful possibility. I look forward to feeling that, busting through even miniscule blocks, energized and excited to bust through more!

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#6

What have you been listening to the previous 2 weeks?

What changes have you noticed over the previous 2 weeks?

#7

New Emperor and my LB Sanguine custom

I’ve faced some tougher recon. Like one or both have been working on something. Specifically, LB has allowing my heart to breathe, shown by feeling sad underneath my public personna.

Today, washout day 3, it’s still hanging on.

Emperor has shown itself many times in my willingness to keep going at work. There’s also a consistent need to be responsible.

Finally, I’ve seen a mingling of both since I’ve always equated anger with an absence of love. I’ve questioned my angry judgments of people. I’ve been merciless in my mind.

But a few days ago I dropped my anger and allowed love in. It felt like scales came off my heart. I’ve felt tender more around people.

#8

What are your thoughts about running DR once a week, starting with 30 seconds, in addition to what you are already listening to?

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#9

My first thought: I’m seeing myself as wimpy, and I’d rather dive right in vs. being “almost” committed.

–my main motive is I’m wanting to feel protected. That’s mainly why I’ve chosen healing subs.

Most of my mental preoccupation has been on either finding protection (healing subs), or learning how to protect myself (Emperor lately).

That’s me being honest. I’ve got this tangle of emotions in my chest, with no relief currently.

I’m also doubting major moves since I’m emotionally vulnerable right now. Tired (long day).

So, short answer: I’m unsure

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#10

To further clarify where I’m at, I feel young right now, and feeling young meant having no power. Just being a yes-man.

That’s why I’m unsure of myself.

–It’s strange. I’ve been on Emperor, and Emperor is highly focused on instilling a belief that you’re powerful. This washout is exposing old beliefs and feelings I have.

To me, that’s a major victory. This shit’s working :muscle:

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#11

This seriously makes me wonder.

Translation: feeling powerless meant I didn’t think I was allowed to protect myself. So I didn’t.

I was “nice” to people, giving them unspoken messages that I needed protection. So I’ve been playing the nice guy, and it’s not been working.

BOOM.

I’m seeing connections now.

Further translation:

I like feeling powerful.

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#12

I can relate. That’s why I’ve now got my sights on DRR as well, to really weed it out once and for all. I keep going back to more healing focus after trying to power through it and finally DRR seems like what we’ve been waiting for. I’ve been with new Primal and new LB though.

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#13

Washout day 4

I still have that tangle in my chest.

I jumped to a recon thread. I don’t want to even…

I just realized something.

Moving forward in this recon feels like I’m failing constantly. I’m trying to not feel owned by the pain and “felt failure”, but it’s there.

Old unhealthy tendencies are presenting themselves. Considering calling out of work.

And do you know what the biggest thing I’ve wanted to avoid? Being responsible–for me.

I’ve been doing that my whole life. I’m still dealing with this. I’ve spent my whole life recruiting, soliciting, and…lying (to myself first)…to have people do it for me. So I’d not be rejected. This is why I’ve been continually doing this.

Doing that…being responsible for myself…scares me. Makes me feel alone. I remember abandonment. Not having someone there.

I felt like a slimeball, but people responded and even cared for me.

I just always knew that I was holding up a lie. I manipulated… myself.

How do I heal from this?

Still wrestling with punishing myself…or
…damn…giving myself a break.

I feel like a billboard for DR RED. The rejection scenario.

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Changes - Subliminalguy
#14

I feel you.
The last 9 years of my life focused on not taking responsibility for my life.
A mix of Emperor, Phoenix and especially Love Bomb did bring forth a tremendous change.
And now with Primal, I feel it’s going in a good direction, me taking responsibility for myself.

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#15

I’m wondering how I might DO something (even though I’m fearful presently) after washout. I might go to 1 minute of LB and 3 minutes of Emperor.

And maybe this is recon, maybe it’s true: what I’m really afraid of (don’t know why)…is loving myself. When I examine myself for just seconds, some part of me is saying “NOOO!! I can’t do THAT!!”

In any other venue, this would be over-exaggeration. I’d think “he’s got some deep shit to deal with”.

But subs have given me clear and sane direction even when my emotions are revolting.

So, I’m wondering, looking for solid ground. Again.

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#16

So just take it slow with LB.
Do what feels right, but keep LB.

I know I need LB for quite some time still.

2 cycles break from LB for Blooming and integrating masculine parts with primal, then if possible, a custom with both.

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#17

@RVconsultant, check this out.