What I have been up to
I ran the new A Love Bomb for Humanity Experimental really early this morning and I sort of regret it a bit. I have known for so long that I should focus on mental and emotional healing. I have spent most of my life being navigated by trauma and triggers that I want to know how it feels to just be. No meaning. No drama. Just live my life. I know self love is important and healthy but at this point it sometimes feels like just a bandaid.
I know I have mentioned this in the past but I now have to force myself to stay off social media. It’s a huge trigger for me. Usually out of boredom I go on there and then get upset when I realize I can’t relate to most of what’s on there. Makes me think it’s time to stop looking for things or people to relate. Feels like I’m seeking validation.
Then, maybe, let it be a bandaid as you process old emotions and patterns and let them dissolve.
Nothing wrong with a bandaid. The bandaid is very useful to let the wounds heal.
Use the bandaid while you heal.
I don’t feel I really understand and embraced until fairly recently how this journey isn’t just about healing but also just as importantly it’s about self discovery. Not mind blowing I know.
Without it being intentional it feels like a spiritual awakening…
It’s such a weird feeling.
It makes not wanting to find a way to move forward a very painful experience emotionally.