Do you have a sense of autonomy and power in your life?

The Emperor's Lounge
#1

Speaking honestly I don’t feel this. I feel like by some miracle I’m not in a worse situation than where I am now, but if the circumstances were different I would be pretty screwed. I want to be stronger for myself so I can thrive in this world instead of just surviving all the time. Quite honestly it’s more cutthroat and messed up than I originally had awareness of. It’s probably my own emotional wounds that have me in a state of fear right now, but ultimately I feel like I’m a prime target for abuse and manipulation.

It feels like a lot of the world is detoxing from the crap and gaslighting we’ve been fed about life lately. The Great Resignation here in the US being an aspect of that. People taking back control and saying no to abusive employers.

I’m just looking for different perspectives here. What grants you that feeling of being powerful? Freedom of choice? Trust in yourself? Maybe it’s different when your life experience has been more stable and there’s stuff to fall back on for security.

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#2

Freedom of action, for me, is what grants me the feeling of power. Being able to do what I want, when I want to, is the ultimate feeling for myself. It’s the only reason why I want wealth and money, to have the ability to devote my time to what I want (also why fatFIRE is my ultimate goal).

Trust in the self would be second, because trust in myself is what will give me the right confidence to be able to choose how to act, and when. But trust in the self cannot be substantiated on vibes, there has to be something that exists that can sustain/support that trust.

And to answer the question of your thread title, no I don’t feel that I have autonomy and power. I try my absolute best to maintain as much autonomy over myself as I can, but it has a tendency to make me into the devil’s advocate in many situations, but I’m okay with it.

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#3

What’s more cutthroat?

#4

The world itself is more cutthroat than he originally thought.

#5

I see. Thank you.

#6

What makes you think the world is cutthroat?

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#7

Im not discouraging this pursuit, but I’ve always found it kind of messed up that this is the prerequisite for freedom. It just doesn’t seem right to me.

#8

What do you feel should be the prerequisite for freedom?

#9

The war you are currently waging seems to be on the level of Symbol.

Symbols are real; but not in precisely the same way as daily circumstance. Your narrative suggests that you may not be experiencing a strong enough boundary and distinction between these two levels of Reality: Symbol and Tangible circumstance.

That is, by the way, typical of how an unchecked Artistic temperament would tend to construct a view of the world.

And depending on how powerfully that temperament dominates, you might see very little difference or distance between those two levels.

As far as how to fight back more effectively:

Fight Symbol on the level of Symbol;

Fight Circumstance on the level of Circumstance.

When I am feeling weak because of the aggression or malevolence that I perceive in world, and I go to the gym to train or to strengthen myself, that is a symbolic gesture. The exercises or the boxing bouts or the physical soreness are of course “real”, but what is symbolic is what they represent and mean in my awareness.

And I discover that I don’t have to defeat everyone in the world or to become the King of all Cutthroats; I just needed to feel a tangible reminder of my own strength and power. This shifts the balance of my perceptions, and:

It fights Symbol on the level of Symbol.

Do something, anything, that pushes back against what you are perceiving, and the power of that view in your mind will be challenged.

Remember the story of the Emperor who thought that—to make the world more comfortable—he had to lay carpet over the entire world, and who learned that, in fact, he only really needed to place carpets underneath his own two feet. And thus, sandals were invented.

The parable is a metaphor of mental projection. And of our power to take ownership of our projections and to deal with them at their root; at the site of the projector itself.

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#10

That’s a false question.

Nothing “grants” you the feeling of being powerful…

The feeling of being powerful is nothing more than an awareness of truth.

An objective fact is that you are an infinitely powerful being.

Any programming that is counter to this objective fact, is a false lie built around fear.

Another objective fact is that you are creating your entire experience.

Most people are programmed to believe that they are powerless and a victim to external circumstances.

Whether you are dirt poor struggling to survive in the slums or living a life of luxury in highrises,

understand that these are just experiences that you are creating

lol

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#11

What makes you think that?

#12

This is true. And I’m learning more lately my internal struggles very often are projected to the outside world. Common among those who have experienced trauma in some form is a chronic feeling of things feeling unsafe. I’ve lived with that feeling for a large portion of my life.

Part of the challenge has been having an accurate view of circumstances. I seem to have been unable to do this. So your advice for fighting back on level of symbol is really useful, thanks. Interestingly enough earlier in the week when I was having an anxiety attack over a lot of this I turned to shadowboxing. The disruption of my thought patterns and “fighting” an imaginary opponent helped.

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#13

You’re absolutely right, it isn’t. The very idea of it actually repulses me to my core if I’m going to be honest with you, it’s also part of the reason why I’ve always neglected the pursuit of wealth in favor of other worthwhile things in my life. But in my life, I just eventually came to the realization that nothing can be done about it. I can either resist and repress the world and environment that I’m in, or I can flow with it and learn to manipulate it to my will. I’ve decided that the latter is a better use of my energy and time.

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#14

Beautifully said, thank you for this.

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#15

I guess when I say “world” I mean my world here in the US. But the overall culture of workers being expendable. There’s no shortage of jobs that want you to dedicate your life to them, but will drop you without thinking twice. Enforcing personal boundaries can sometimes lead to toxic behavior like gaslighting or guilt tripping you to get their way. A lot of individuals in power exhibit dark triad personality traits and there’s a sort of nepotism apparent. They want more individuals like them.

I guess this is less the world and more the working world. But when you rely on a job for survival and spend 40hrs of your time or more there it’s absolutely insane considering how badly you can be potentially treated by someone or an organization. It’s not always as simple as “finding another job” because you might be at the mercy of another abusive relationship.

Sure someone can always look towards the good in the world. But that doesn’t negate the impact of individuals who do harm.

That’s the thing there shouldn’t be a prerequisite. People should feel free. Not slaves to circumstances imposed on them. I know that’s incredibly idealistic, but talking to people in my life I don’t get a sense a lot of them feel free. And talking to others online I know for a fact there are individuals who struggle a lot with being stuck in a never-ending loop of pain while being forced to endure existence with no perceived guaranteed way out. So it’s not that there isn’t a way out, it’s just hard to see one.

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#16

I see. Thank you for elaborating.

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#17

But

It seems to me that accepting the belief that you are an “infinitely powerful being” is a way to grant that feeling.

Kind of a catch-22 no? Most people with a sense of powerlessness aren’t going to agree to that objective truth.

So how does someone attain awareness of that truth?

#19

Thanks for expanding on this, I understand what you mean now about objective truth. My mistake was viewing the all powerful being in a one sided direction of positivity and happiness. It goes both ways, you can absolutely destroy your own life with that power as well.

When you talk about clearing away fear though, that’s been a lifelong challenge for me. Not a simple one at that. I’m going through Regeneration ZP right now so a lot of ugly shit is coming out.

If it seems like I’m trying to be difficult or stubborn on this it’s not intentional. This comes from years of trying to change for the better and coming up short. For me I think this is down to experiential awareness vs higher thought awareness. There’s a disconnect between these two.

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#20

Not going to lie, when I see that chart I automatically think “meta woowoo bs” but thank you for elaborating further. It makes a lot of sense, and I think I have quite a bit of reflecting to do.

#21

What makes you think this?

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