This is actually one of the reasons why I am considering PCC. I don’t really have that finesse to gently and indirectly influence. Normally, I just charge head-on, which, I know, is not often effective, especially when dealing with stubborn and/or stupid people.
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ST4 DAY9
It’s only noon now, but I feel so frigging buzzed. Got into another argument with the wife. It was my turn to cook and watch over the kids. While it was her turn to sleep in.
Simply texted her because I couldn’t find my son’s favorite vienna sausage in the pantry. Wasn’t expecting an elephant to come down the stairs trampling over stuff. First instinct was to fight fire with fire.
Argument got bigger and bigger. But then I decided to show her shit by finishing the margarita mix left over from thanksgiving. So yeah. Buzzed but not throwing up. Looking at it retrospectively, I shouldn’t have done it. But I really tend to do stupid shit when I’m mad. (Although my spelling and grammar may seem fine from my pov, I apologize of it isn’t so right now).
Finally put my foot down and told her to march her ass back upstairs and go to sleep or so help me, I’d spank her like a brat she’s acting to be. That shut her up. Now, I’m buzzed while feeding my kids lunch. What better way to spend a lazy Sunday while waiting how Emperor V4 turns out?
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ST4 DAY9 Part2
Maybe it’s QL working on my brain, but after only an hour my buzz was gone! In any case, I’m proud to have stood my ground, without having to use any physicality.
Now, funny thing is, my wife keeps on touching me. Like a switch just turned her on and she can’t stop. Either that or because it’s that time of month and her hormones are out of whack.
Am currently “working” again on this never-ending project. Yes, the one wherein my 2nd level boss keeps on asking updates for but never actually reada my recommendations. Am really seriously thinking of adding PCC. But would khan, pcc and ql fry my brain as a result?
Currently testing a hypothesis of mine on this project. If it actually works, then I can really tell them something’s wrong with their code. However, test takes about 30 minutes to finish. Good thing QL seems to make analysis so much easier for me.
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ST4 DAY9 Final Update
So it’s getting late here. Really really really considering adding pcc. But would my brain be able to handle pcc khan and ql?
Based from @SaintSovereign’s response regarding morphic fields, I decided not to pursue using them, even if I was using them for my gum health. And that my gums no longer hurt, just a bit irritated because of the stitches.
As expected, my earlier hypothesis was correct. Emailed my boss’s boss about it and kept insisting that there is indeed a problem with the product. As a way out, I even suggested that we have the 3rd party testers use a different product of ours. This one, I am 99% sure is way better than the one we were using for the tests. That way, he can still be lazy and not do anything and at the same time, show that I am working and also show that I know what I am doing.
Next thing you know, the guy emailed the other department manager asking if we can switch products for the test. Hehehe
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What about his response made you quite listening to Sapien Med? I’ve been listening to an audio of him for a few weeks.
Which I tend to agree. Morphic fields, I believe, is just energy. The fact that he believes he can create and/or manipulate energy and then imbue it to an audio file is already difficult. Add the fact that that file can be downloaded multiple times, wouldn’t that diminish it’s effectiveness, if any?
In addition, there different forms and types of energy. We humans, are attuned to different types, and it is also possible that one person is more attuned to one or more types/forms as compared to other people. This is why healing prayers are more effective when many people are praying for the healing of one person, rather than just a few. The reason, I think, is because, even if we also give off energy, that energy may not be “compatible” to other people. The more people praying means that there is better chance for the sick person to get compatible energy.
Now, of course this is all hypothetical, and should, in no way affect your religion and/or beliefs. This is just my opinion (or maybe QL is already working on me at a meta-level?).
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Thanks for the answer. Somehow I looked over the topic you linked, so I thougth you interacted with saint through pm.
After reading this I’m probably also going to stop listening to a fat burning video of him. I’ve lost quite a bit of fat while listening, however it probably hasn’t anything to do with the audio. I just kept listening since you never know.
I understand what you’re saying man. I mean if it’s working why stop right? And until @SaintSovereign recommended not to mix SC subs with these tracks, I probably wouldn’t have stopped either.
ST4 DAY10
How time flies! 1/3 down Khan to go!
Really get frustrated and pissed when having to deal with lazy ass people. So after sending my report last night, the veep (my boss’s boss) simply included another lazy ass person, who is supposed to be working on the product code itself, to the email discussion. Now LA (lazy ass) emailed me asking me for files and steps and all that just to test on his own. The thing is, I kept repeating all that in my reports. All it takes is just to sit still and try to understand the issue. That’s all I’m asking these guys to do. The more frustrating thing is, they don’t!
So now, I tried to break things down to much simpler terms. I don’t know if it’s the QL+khan combo, but I feel like I’m understanding things even better than those guys who should know better!
Speaking of QL, I really am tempted to go for another exam. I am not prepared (more like stuck knowledge from reading old review materials some time ago), but it’s like there’s something nagging at me like I can do this without the lengthy review preparation. This feeling started out as a small thought/wish. It was like a “what if I took that exam today? Would I pass?” I recall thinking that way last night while trying to sleep. Now it’s starting to grow louder.
Given the combination of khan and ql, I somehow feel I have the confidence to tackle it. But not entirely sure if I already have the appropriate knowledge to do so. It’s like a tug-of-war within me.
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ST4 DAY13
Work absolutely sucks! It’s not that it’s hard. In fact, right now, it’s damned easy. The thing I don’t like is having to work with lazy ass dumb fucks who are looking for excuses to not do their job. Telling me they don’t understand my reports and all that. Then how come other people instantly know what’s wrong after just reading my reports once? Or maybe it’s QL boosting my understanding that I am actually expecting other people to know them too?
On another note, I told my wife my plan to take another exam early January. I don’t know why I told her. I just did. It’s like, I have to find challenges. And this is one of the most challenging thing I know.
With regards to money, I don’t have any. I have debt. After looking over my accounts, it usually depresses me. But now, not so. Ok, maybe just a tiny wee bit. Just a small pin prick and after that gone. Could it be Khan working on my subconscious?
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ST4 DAY15
Halfway! Got into an argument with the wife early this morning. Did not take her BS and just let her be. Even though she acted like a spoiled brat stomping and slamming, I just let her be and focused on my work. Spoiling her does not pay for the bills.
So as mentioned days ago, am planning on taking another certification exam next year. Even if I am not that ready, I decided to jump in and scheduled it. No turning back now. Seems like both QL and khan are actually forcing me to take action. And knowing me, I would just procrastinate if I did not really have a fixed deadline. So I guess it’s better this way. At least I’ve got a date and time set.
Went to a presentation at my kids’ school. Got a lot of nods from people there. I know them by face but never really talked to them. Being the introvert that I am, I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not. I really hate it standing out in a crowd. Though I guess if I’m to reach my full potential, I should get used to it.
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ST4 DAY16
Took my family grocery shopping. My kids were not behaving. As in ALL of them were crying, shouting, and misbehaving. Normally I would cringe when they do that out in the open. Today, I couldn’t give a fuck. Even when people were staring at my kids, I didn’t care. When one wanted a coloring book and drawing pad, I calmly held both and asked the kid to pick just one and to stop crying. Even when there was an elderly couple walking past us and staring at me, I didn’t even flinch. Before, I l’d just give them whatever the hell they want just to shut them up!
Also, am starting to notice things around the house that I didn’t before. Small cracks, slight smell of garbage, creaking sounds. It’s like everything gets amplified. Maybe this is QL affecting my senses?
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[note: a number of expletives to follow. i’m a parent, and i reacted to your short description of your experience.]
That’s fucking awesome, to me personally. It’s like you’re evolving into a master, a competent steward.
[personal parenting opinions follow]
I think when it comes to parenting (and probably family relationships in general), the long view matters to me more. Panicking out of embarrassment and shutting up your kids is (to me) a focus on the small picture. (Yeah, I know we all do it sometimes, anyway). Anything motivated by embarrassment is usually a focus on the small picture.
But, they’re your kids, your tribe.
Kids cry because they’re antsy, uncomfortable, working through stuff, etc. It’s not the crying that’s the issue, it’s the stuff underneath that they’re figuring out how to handle. That’s the big picture. If you just knee-jerk to the small picture and shut it all down, you’re basically doing exactly what they’re doing, just the adult version.
But, in the situation you described, you’re holding your center. ‘One person here is having an issue, and guess what, it’s not me.’ That’s awesome.
Fuck those people who stare. I’m sure by now they’ve somehow managed to find the strength to soldier on with the rest of their lives.
It’s more important (again, in my view) to focus on building a strong, stable structure. Like what you did with the coloring book. In the long view, the crying will decrease and your kid will learn how to handle him/herself. Stability and equanimity are contagious. Cultivating them in yourself and letting them develop naturally in your child is better than trying to squash it into them from the outside.
I’ve definitely been embarrassed, or what have you, by what my kids might have done at certain points. Sometimes I haven’t followed my own advice and I over-reacted (and I’ve usually regretted that). The thing is, no matter what you do, if all goes normally, they’ll grow into adults anyway. It takes some crazy, emotional, stressful, incredible years of accelerated growth, and then after that? They’re just adults for the rest of the time.
This is what I’ve told myself:
There are two adults from the future. I may not be able to see them today, but those adults from the future (i.e., my grown-up kids) are watching everything that happens right now. They’re watching and remembering everything I’m doing with these children who are one day going to become them. I very much want to contribute to those adults, and I very much want strong relationships with them. So, that’s where the fuck I want my emphasis to be.
And, fuck it. I also want to enjoy my kids right now too. Sometimes that means letting some shit go. (Other times, sure, you might have to hard-line it, if it’s important enough in the moment.)
[Those are all things that I’m TRYING to learn and TRYING to remember.]
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Exactly! I absolutely agree with you man. And fuck what other people think.
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ST4 DAY17
Abso-fucking-lutely been feeling very confrontational right now. When I see something wrong, I have this urge to really point out to the person involved that it’s wrong. Whether it be with my wife and kids, people online or people I just saw somewhere.
Went to an amusement park today with the wife and kids. Went on a ride that has baskets that go around. Sat in one with my kid. The girl manning the ride forgot to close the door to our basket and to the basket holding my father-in-law and other kid. As it was spinning, my kid tried closing it as it was nearby. I just held hands with my kid and signaled the operator. When she stopped the ride, she profusely apologized. I really wanted to confront her about it, but she already apologized and my kids were there. If something happened to any of them, I would have gone to the manager and demanded the park fire her then and there.
Is this what khan does? As much as possible, I previously didn’t want to be confrontational. However, with what’s been going on lately, I feel like I have to say something at least. Before, as long as it doesn’t affect me personally, I often just let it slide. But now, even if someone acts like a pest, I have this nagging feeling to call them out for it. It’s like, I’m losing patience for stupidity.
I recall last week, with what was happening at work, I actually replied to a work email with something like:
“Now, if you had actually taken the time to read and understand the report, you would have known that blah blah blah”.
Now, as I mentioned before, I never had the ability to be subtle about things. It’s always been avoid it altogether or charge head on and confront them. Maybe it is time to add PCC? As @Michel pointed out:
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You will call them out on it eventually. It takes that nagging feeling to act, even if you stumble your words, you have "TAKEN ACTION!!!"
PCC softens Khan’s hard blow. Assertive and calm, rather than hardfisted.
Your email would have been like "most of the information you requested is in the report. If you have questions that are not addressed, feel free to ask (max 3 questions)." and stick to it.
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ST4 DAY21
Well almost done, but will probably run ST4 till a little after New Year’s.
Been having good rapport with a lot of people wherever I go. I always see people smiling or nodding at me.
Funny thing. I’m short. But a day ago, my wife asked me if I was wearing platform or padded shoes or something as I seemed taller to her for some reason. Probably because I have been standing and sitting straight lately. My posture’s improved a lot. It’s like when I consciously check my posture, it’s always head high, straight back, chest out. Or did SC really put physical changes into the subs?
Also my voice has gotten really deeper. And when I talk, I notice people were paying more attention when I talk.
Got the results from the exam I took last month. I passed! And honestly, I wasn’t that prepared when I took it. But I felt confident taking it. And I feel confident taking another (much harder) exam in January. It’s like I’m looking to both challenge myself and to force myself to learn more.
On the money front, I don’t know really. Got a few interviews lined up early next year. Maybe that would help.
Also, I don’t feel burdened too much about the bills and such. Although I still think about every now and then, but it’s not like before where I fret and start pulling my hair to look for ways to pay them.
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Congrats! Glad you passed.
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ST4 DAY23
Nothing much to write about. Been busy for the holidays. Kids are pretty excited.
Still studying for my exam. Though not sure how much I’m actually retaining. Been very busy lately so may have been not so focused when I’m studying.