QL ST3 DAY45(early update)
Went to bed past 3am. I really hate not being able to finish what I started. And what I hate more is not even knowing how to finish it. Got stuck working on a problem last night. Still thinking of possible solutions.
Then woke up early today because I need to join a conference call with someone on the other side of the planet. I just hope it’s worth my time.
So now am drinking coffee and counting down the minutes before I join the call.
QL ST3 DAY45(update)
Was idly checking my Instagram feed. And then all of a sudden, I felt like I had a weird case of deja vu. Somehow I felt that I saw the posts before. But they were just posted about an hour ago.
QL ST3 DAY47
Been 2 days since I last updated. Been so busy with both work and studies plus the fact that the kids have started distance learning. Since I work in IT, I’ve been running tech support for my family.
Office project’s been moving slowly. But at least it’s still moving. Unlike my past projects which have mostly been shelved and forgotten.
Been sleepy mostly. Probably because of all that hectic rushing around.
By the way. Not sure why, but the other night, I dreamt I was in the shower and suddenly I stepped on crap. Weird. But that’s all I can remember. Should have written it down but was so busy.
QL ST3 DAY47(update)
Can be reconciliation or can be stress or can be lack of sleep or maybe a combination of the above. But I am easily angered today. Somehow forcing myself to remain calm and collected but, I don’t know.
Took a nap earlier, but still tired. Maybe because I suddenly was jerked awake from the noise my kids were making.
QL ST3 (update again)
Still tired and sleepy. Ran BLU a few hours ago, but it seems that one can only run on subs for so long. Will be going to sleep early tonight.
On another note, had another exhausting meeting this afternoon. I’m not sure if my boss understands the complexity of what he’s asking, the added problems of modifying my code to fit what he wants, or even just plain listening. I’ve been trying to patienly point things out to him, and yet he keeps on executing the commands and expecting a different result. It actually makes me think that he doesn’t trust me on this when I was the one who suggested my whole project to him. Of course I should have done some research and performed some due diligence prior to presenting it to him, and yet here he is. Executing the programs in front of the whole frigging team and expect results contrary to what I just said. It’s so frustrating.
QL ST3 DAY48
Experiencing some reconciliation today. Been getting mad easily. Probably because I have to manage and look after my kids’ video conferences with their respective teachers. Especially the one who’s on the spectrum, it’s very difficult just to have him sit still for 2 hours at a time looking at the computer screen. So my productivity’s been very low today. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling like this. I know I have to work on a lot of things and yet, I can’t leave my kids alone.
It’s was already a tough balancing act last school year. Somehow, I feel that this is going to be even tougher.
QL ST3 DAY49
Slept in late. Wife was kind enough to let me sleep till noon.
Planning on taking a sub break today. But the temptation of putting earphones on is great. Moreso when the kids are getting noisy and rowdy.
In line with a sub break, I’m actually feeling much better today compared to the past few days. Either because of the longer sleep or because my brain doesn’t have to process any instructions. But honestly, as long as I feel better, it doesn’t really matter why.
Man this heat is killing me. And the kids wanted to swim in our inflatable pool…
QL ST3 DAY49(update)
Well, it was really difficult to keep myself from putting on earphones the whole day. But I did it. And I should say that rest days are really needed for Q, T, T2 type subs.
To be honest, I don’t believe I got angry today. Even when my kids were not behaving and even shouting and picking a fight, I was calm and collected. Which is really something TBH. So maybe it was related to something @SaintSovereign. Subliminal bloom I think is the term. So yeah. Maybe this is what he meant by it?
I was just wondering. And although I know that there’s a more appropriate thread to post this on, I would just rather avoid any negative backlash this might have. But with all the new stuff going on with SubClub, I was wondering. Would it be possible to get a module that would have us stick to our current sub/stack until we know that the sub or stack’s goal has been met? I see a lot here either having reconciliation such that they’re thinking their stack/sub isn’t working, and even some who have so much money to spare that they keep on getting different subs/customs.
Now call me envious or whatever. In which case, you can all KMA (this is my journal after all, hence why I didn’t post it in that “appropriate thread”).
But seriously, the reason why I’m thinking about this is because I too am sufferering from “shiny new toy syndrome”. And it’s really getting harder each day to simply stick to what I currently am running.
Maybe another module that would be great is one that would actually help you define what you really want out of your sub? Just thinking out loud. And I really don’t care for all the drama. So if I offended anyone here, go re-read the 2nd paragaraph.
I have a personal fix for SNT Syndrome.
I first started using it in bookstores. One drawback is that using my fix requires at least one shiny new (or old) toy -a smartphone or camera. I kind of found it by accident. I’d be going through bookstores and I didn’t really want to bring lots of books home, but I loved some of the titles, covers, and concepts I was seeing. So I started taking a quick snapshot of the book cover and then saying ‘I can get it later if I really want it’.
Started doing it in electronics shops and clothing shops too. Take a picture of the item, the tag and/or info. ‘I’ll think about it and come back or get it elsewhere if I really want it’.
It was just a convenient way to make a note.
But I gradually discovered that taking the snapshot was scratching the same itch that purchasing the item was scratching. You know how you purchase a new item and you take it home and depending on your brain, I guess, the shine wears off in anywhere from 1 week to 1 minute? This was a much more desirable alternative. It allowed me to ‘get something’ (i.e., dopamine), and it did not require me to spend so much. And sometimes, I really and truly wanted the thing (outside of the dopamine spurt), and so I would get it.
Well, this is a long way of saying that I do the same thing here.
I’ve got my Excel file:
I input each and every module in there. I also use other sheets in the same file for sketching/planning out/refining my possible Customs.
It scratches the itch, but much more importantly than that, it helps to develop the real (non-shiny toy) plans
At some point, if you watch even slightly closely around here, you pick up that Saint and Fire are going to keep innovating non-stop. That’s what they love to do; so, naturally, they’ll keep doing it. This means that the longer you wait, the more good stuff there will be. It’s kind of that simple. So, if you have a Health Custom planned, but now is not a great time for it; by the time next year rolls around and it is the right time? There will be even more or even better options for building it.
This doesn’t truly ‘solve’ the shiny new toy dynamic, but it does balance it out.
There’s a skew on the Internet in general towards thinking, aspiring, and communicating over doing. It’s imposed somewhat by the nature of the space, and our discussion forum is no exception. To participate on the Internet, you have to leave your body behind. Sometimes that imbalance may get somewhat pronounced. But we need to do our best to keep things grounded.
I think this is kind of the skew of the whole world right now, to be honest. These things are great for energizing you or injecting new ideas, but it’s important sometimes to unplug from this dopamine maelstrom and plug into some of the other things we need.
Thank you @Malkuth for the suggestion.
This is actually what I love about SubClub. There’s always this constant drive to evolve (not sure if there’s a better word for it really). Always pushing things to come up with something better.
I’ve actually thought of doing just that some times. In fact, I did for a time. Not logging on to the forum every so often. But I don’t know really. I feel like I’ve become so accustomed to journaling here that even when I got a notebook, it felt so unnatural for me to write my thoughts down on it. And with logging on to this site, even if I try sometimes, I still end up checking out what’s been happening here in general.
It’s a work in progress for me too.
I think there are some aspects of my process that fit well with the discussion forum. But there are others, like the details of action planning or the details of my ongoing daily process that seem to fit better somewhere more private. You know? Like the nitty-gritty details of everyday life, with names and addresses included. Not going to post that here.
hmm…I’m really thinking about this.
One of my ideals is to be as engaged and excited with the process as I am with the product or outcome. To value the journey as much as the destination.
I’m an intuitive type, and it can take us a long time to learn how to do this, because the tendency is to always be looking forward to the next possibility. Once a cherished outcome arrives we almost want to devalue it just for the simple fact that it has arrived, and by virtue of having arrived it is therefore somehow less stimulating. I’m working to train myself out of that mistake. We don’t need a spoiler alert about how all of this life stuff ends. It’s the same for everybody. People who don’t learn to value the process are making a big mistake.
Sober thoughts aside, there’s another thing:
I think that many people who come here are, at first, working to overcome barriers to action or barriers to attaining what they desire. So, at first anyway, the Action side of this equation is pretty barren; whereas the dreams/goals/aspiration side is full of so many exciting possibilities. So, in that case, the imbalance also makes sense. We’re just genuinely not as excited about the Present Realities of our lives, whereas the great places we hope we’re heading towards are, in contrast, very compelling.
I think, and hope, that this will naturally shift as the realities we have been summoning start actually appearing more and more in our lived circumstances. The balance, in that case, should occur naturally. Like driving from a poorly maintained neighborhood into a beautifully maintained neighborhood. At the start of the drive, you may just be wishing to get somewhere better. But once the roads are smoother and there are trees and beautiful sights and such, then that sense of impatience to arrive at the destination will probably lessen. Then we’re enjoying the experience of driving in its own right. Arriving at the destination will just be one more great set of experiences to add to that.
I aspire to conciseness in expressing these thoughts. But I don’t always quite get there. 
I agree with you on that. However, I also noticed that some come here really not knowing what they desire. I mean, yeah some say “I want to be filthy rich”. But there’s no specific goal or meaning to being filthy rich. Hence this module:
I believe that once a concrete definition of goals has to be thought out, then it would make the sub/stack actually work faster. This, in turn, may lessen reconciliation. Given that your subconscious wouldn’t be fighting the subliminal, manifestation would be much easier.
QL ST3 DAY50
Feeling calm and composed. Not really sure if it’s still the Bloom Effect or not. Kids are rowdy and noisy while wife’s sleeping in. But instead of getting mad and scolding them, I just calmly told them to let mommy sleep.
Still experimenting and missing my earphones. So I’m currently listening to 1 loop of StarkQ. Will update later.
QL ST3 DAY50(update)
Was able to keep my temper in check today. Surprisingly enough, my kids didn’t give me much problems today too. I was able to quickly and easily convey what I wanted them to do and how they aught to behave.
My head hurt a bit when I went outside to cut some cardboard boxes for recycling. Given that we’re still on lockdown, I preferred to simply have stuff delivered rather than go out and look for them at stores (especially when you don’t know if they’re available or not).
Aside from this, my day went quietly. Could it really be related to the Bloom effect? In any case, I’ll be going back to my regular stack tomorrow.
Interestingly, I was just thinking about starting a thread on goal-setting .
Do most people here have specific action-plan for their goals? A daily plan that stretches over the period of time and includes actions taken on specific people, specific companies, going to specific locations etc.
Or do they just let things flow and trust that everything that happens is some sort of divine incident that will lead them to their goals eventually?
The second approach is more spontaneous and I guess will appeal more to those who like to go with the flow.
I can’t really speak for others. But for me, it’s a combination of both. My daily plans depend on the flow of where I am today. Though I try to make plans in general spanning over several weeks to months, shit happens and screws things up sometimes.
However, when I wrote this, I was thinking more on the line of knowing what you really want. Again, I noticed that some (even until now), either don’t really know what they want (hence also not having a specific goal), or keep changing goals (which is rather disappointing especially when you know it’s just reconcilliation).
I wonder if it’s because some people are used to being told by others what they should want…and so they are unclear about the goals.
Or it might be because they are trying use subliminals to discover the nature of their existence or their purpose in life. They will know their goals when they know their purpose in life.
Or maybe both?
QL ST3 DAY51
It looks like reconciliation is hitting me hard today. Still needed to watch over my kids while they attend virtual classes. This keeps me from doing any reasonable work. Which is basically going against being productive. It’s hard to do work, while keeping an ear and an eye open focused on your kid.
