QL ST3 DAY33
Spent a long time working on a practice problem last night and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. Been feeling sleepy and tired the whole day today.
Was at a meeting and just kept on yawning. Good thing it was via remote conference so nobody saw me. And I could mute my mic.
QL ST3 DAY34
As an experiment, I decided to add 1 loop of Khan ST4 early this morning. I’m not sure if it’s reconciliation or what, but I’m kind of missing hearing rain during the day. The time I’m not listening to my stack feels like I’m empty. That’s why I experimented adding Khan.
And as soon as I started playing Khan, I knew the timing was wrong. 2 things happened. I felt anger, such that the smallest wrong my kids did had me seething. Another was a hard-on, while working, in front of my computer, looking at code.
So maybe if I do decide to add Khan ST4 back to my stack, it would be at the end of the day. Where my kids would be in bed (so that I wouldn’t find anything to be mad about).
QL ST3 DAY35
Nothing much to write about today really. Although last night, I had the urge to do some light exercises. Given that my elbow still hurts and any heavy lifting ends up with me in pain, I found it to be an excuse to skip any workouts. And last night, I just really felt that I had to. Like I’m using my injury as an excuse to just be lazy. So last night, I ended up doing about 20 minutes of light exercises without any lifting. And it still felt great! Although now, my elbow is hurting a bit. So I’ll probably rest for now. But tomorrow, I plan on doing a little more.
QL ST3 DAY36
Felt like crap today. Wife’s been on her “monthly” thing so she’s been easily annoyed. And yet, I feel that I’m the only one who cares about the time. Had a couple of long meetings today so I had to always be in a hurry. Need to rush giving the kids a bath. Even needed to hurry up eating brunch. And yet, she’s on frigging slow motion! And she’s the one who’s mad?!
Family issues aside, I’m not sure if what I’m going through now is reconciliation or not. Another new training with a shiny certification popped up again. And I feel like I just got to enroll! And yet, there’s already so many on my plate right now.
QL ST3 DAY37
Call it synchronicity or just plain coincidence. But somehow I feel like I’m about to have a headache. You know when your head starts to throb but there’s still no pain or the pain is barely felt. But as time goes on the throbbing starts to build up? Yeah that’s the one. Anyway, my wife suddenly approaches me and asks where I keep my emergency stash of Advil. She says she’s been having a migraine since she woke up this morning. I did not see that one coming.
More coincidence, I did a little more work on my office project last night. Remember how I feel about work? Anyway, I’ll just pop a couple of Advils tonight and try to see if I can study a little. Planning on taking that certification by the end of July.
QL ST3 Back at it
So yeah. Took 2 weeks to try out Ultima. And honestly, I think it was worth it. Got me to really appreciate the hard work @SaintSovereign and @Fire have put into SC products.
So now, I’m back to my previous stack. Where was I?
Night:
3xMogul Ultrasonic
2xQL ST3 ultrasonic
Day:
3xStarkQ masked
2xQL ST3 Masked
1xBL Ultima
The BL I added just today. And let me say that I have never felt more motivated to work than today. While not in front of my laptop, I was already thinking of solutions to the problems I had with my assigned task.
So yeah. I’m not sure if my switching back to StarkQ/MogulQ helped with this, or maybe the BL? But the motivation was very new. The task was, if you look at it, basically just a test to guage if I was capable of doing more. And honestly, at first it felt like an insult to me. And this is probably why I really procrastinated and held back doing anything with it.
But when I started working on it this morning, I just couldn’t stop myself.
QL ST3 DAY30
So I decided to add another 7 days of listening to ST3 as I originally planned 60 days for this. However, given that I took 2 weeks away for Ultima, it only felt that I add a little more time to this stage.
So where to begin. Nothing. Well, I’m glad that I got the clogged toilet fixed. Took me some time, but hey, shit happens right?
What else, I was able to finish my work for the day without any negativity, or grumbling from me. Work went more or less smoothly and I was able to find easy solutions to minor issues I encountered with work.
So I guess small wins right?
QL ST3 DAY31
Not much happened today. Felt really tired most of the time.
While listening to BLU, my laptop froze and I had to restart it. Didn’t know whether or not to start BLU from the beginning or where I estimated it was playing at when I restarted, so I just played from the beginning. Not sure if this is what caused the “burnout” or not. Maybe more than 1 loop is too much for me?
Given that, I didn’t get much work done today. Tried but felt sleepy mostly. So I couldn’t concentrate.
QL ST3 BACK AT IT… AGAIN
Yep. Again. Decided to test Ultima ST3 too. So basically almost a month has gone by (with the exception of a few days in between Ultima ST2 and ST3 testing) since I really entrenched myself in my stack.
Turns out I missed it. Earphones every few hours keeps the kids’ noise levels down. Lol
Also, I feel that because of the time away from my stack, some reconciliation was “instantly” present. Feelings like I have a lot of work to do, or why did I focus on other shit when I still have to deal with this? And all the productivity shit I’ve dealt with before. All that bubbled up again.
Hopefully tomorrow gets better. If not, may need to try Sanguine or maybe just the Ultima ST1 track (still wish @SaintSovereign would let us know what was in it). Missing the party/happt vibe from it.
QL ST3 DAY30 Again
Yep. Will proceed with QL ST3 for another 30 days. It seems that the “break” between my stack may be the cause of the reconciliation I am experiencing now. Although not as heavy as getting mad easily. But productivity isn’t as I had before the break.
So, yesterday, I did a write-up for one problem I worked on (personal project). But it was rejected within an hour of submission. Given that I didn’t get any reason for the rejection, I redid the solution and resubmitted it again. I woke up early this morning and found that it was rejected again. Now, normally, a second rejection would just make me either mad, sad, frustrated. Although I did feel a little frustration, I simply just contacted the problem author and asked for the reason for rejection. I tried my best to be “diplomatic” and cool headed in the email. And it turns out it was just minor modifications needed to the paper. No major changes were needed and within 30 minutes, it was accepted. It might look small, but for me, it’s big simply because I normally don’t ask for reasons for rejection, and that I don’t even try to ask for ways to improve my work.
Am currently attending a free workshop for my field. Looks like QL is working as I am easily able to grasp the concepts presented this morning. Hopefully things go smoothly for the next few days.
Tonight, I’m planning on working on my office project. Although, to be honest, I really don’t feel like it. Laziness is gonna kill me, so I may need to force myself.
QL ST3 DAY31 Again (Early Update)
So yeah. Last night I couldn’t just bring myself to work on my office project. My brain keeps straying to one of my personal projects. As part of my preparation for the 24 hour exam I did not pass last January, I decided to signup to another vendor’s cheaper certification. The requirement for this certification was just to solve a certain number of lab problems and submit a report containing my solutions to them. I have already solved them last week, and given that I wasn’t able to concentrate on my work without submitting the report, I decided to just write the report last night. Took me till 3AM to finish a 100+ page report (note, I was about 60% done when I started last night). Submitted it right after and am waiting for the feedback (would probably take till next week).
With that being said, I think that the mixture of StarkQ, QL and BLU helped me a lot to finish that 40% overnight (Given that I’ve been working on the report for almost a week now). In addition, I really hate documentation. Writing down my train of thought and how I was able to work out a problem has always been difficult for me. But with my stack, I think it helped clear that up for me.
Am currently on Day2 of the free workshop I signed up for. Finding the topics both simple and fascinating. Looks like I’m able to quickly understand the concepts. Again, maybe it’s BLU and QL (and maybe a little of StartkQ?) seems to be a big boost for this.
Now, I just need to be ‘office’ productive.
That’s my challenge. I’m uber productive on my own projects, but with my job, it’s a chore to even work a full shift anymore without calling out.
QL ST3 DAY31 Again
Learned a lot this from this morning’s workshop. Actually emailed my boss about something I learned. Not sure how he’s gonna take it lightly. But somehow, I felt that I had to. It basically showed how our company is paying a 3rd partner for crap their product cannot actually do by itself.
Was actually day dreaming of presenting that to our VP. Lol. Considering the fact that he was bashing the former head of that project (who left the company recently). But in my mind, I was like, “Dude, yeah your bashing the guy who can’t defend himself. But, weren’t you the f’cker who authorized that in the first place?” All the while during that day dream showing the data about the 3rd partner and blatantly asking, “Did the the f’ck who authorized this sh*t actually do his homework?”
Oh man, that’s all I’ve been doing the whole day. Day dreaming. Been in front of my laptop for bout an hour now, and yet I haven’t even started on my office project.
I had a moment at my job today where my manager told me to exercise better call control. The call he was referring to was one where I have to warm transfer a customer to a separate tech support department. The wait time was 25 minutes or so. Not sure how my call control helps with hold times outside my control. But hey, who am I? What do I know? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
The thing is, the job no longer “excites” or motivates me anymore. It’s just a means to pay the bills man. Before, when I first started at this company, I had a f’ck ton of ideas and sh*t. But after seeing each thing I proposed, either get shot down, or told “we don’t have enough resources” and shit. And 2 years later, I find out, the company is gonna get a 3rd party to do what I proposed! What’s even worse is that my boss even refers to me when he has questions about it. But when there’s meetings about that, I’m left in the dark.
I know I may sound like I’m raving (probably am, come to think of it), but it’s really hard to get your ass off the couch, chair, bed or wherever the hell it’s on, and start working on shit that will just get shot down, or that someone will take f’cking credit for.
If that happens, just feign admiration during a huge meeting about it and ask where they got the inspiration for (some obscure part of module of the project only YOU know how it works) 
Thanks for the tip. I haven’t thought of that before. Normally just shut up since a lot of times, its a manager who takes the credit.
Went to the office a week ago and “borrowed” an old monitor that was lying around in my cube. Now I have 3 monitors on my desk, but not one showing anything I’m supposed to be working on for the office. Been sitting on my chair for almost 2 hours now. Recon or just plain laziness?
Recon manifesting as laziness? 
I get that happen to me I think
I don’t know really. I actually suggested that we needed to use Docker containers for our project. Thing is, I know very little about it. Right now, I’m “pretending” that I’m studying for the Docker Certification exam just to “force” myself to at least get something started.