Digger’s Journey to becoming a Quantum Mogul

Journals - Major Programs
#133

QL ST2 DAY36

Again wasn’t able to update yesterday. Maybe because there wasn’t much that happened. Or maybe because I was again multitasking last night. I was so much “in the zone” studying. And at the same time, boiling inside because I can’t make my work project work. Seriously though, it’s a bag of mixed emotions and yet, I was somehow able to concentrate on both. While my project was running, I was able to try solving some problems. And after solving one, I then went back to my project.
In fact, my wife joked if I needed more laptops as I was shifting my attention between 2. Maybe if I had enough cash, I’d probably get my dream hacker’s workstation in my own office. (I mean, I can dream right?)
As for today, temper’s been mild. Not so much probe to anger. Even though my kids have been extremely rowdy and just pushing all my buttons.

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#134

QL ST2 DAY37

After spending too much time on my work project, I concluded that it was taking up too much time and the ROI would be too low for it to be actually useful to our team. I sent an email to my boss this morning telling him so, and even detailing the steps I did in order to get the results and my recommendations. Still waiting for a response. I even sent him a message on Skype telling him about the email and asking him to let me know if he still wishes to pursue it or not. All I got in reponse “Ok. Will do.”
It seems he’s not that vested in it even though he’s the one who told me to start it in the first place. But then, a part of me is hoping that he may just be busy with other matters as I keep getting emails from our PM system notifying us of changes he made regarding various documents and such.
As for my exam, still pushing on with learning. I actually feel excited when I open the curriculum page. The nerd in me really wants to do well!

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#135

QL ST2 DAY39

Major headache yesterday till last night. Was barely able to move well.

Today was much better. Had to go to the grocery to stock up on supplies. Ended chatting casually with the cashier and even joking a little.

Nothing much to report about. Although I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about work and the topics I’ve been studying and how they can inter-relate with each other. Feel like there’s an idea that might come out of all this thinking. Just trying to be patient and not forcing anything.

Little reconciliation seems to be cropping up as my anger’s starting to come out unrestrained. Although I’ve been able to reel it in shortly after an outburst.

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#136

QL ST2 DAY40

Not really sure whether or not this is reconciliation. I feel like “meh”, like nothing, neither hoping/expecting for something nor am I willing to work on something right now. Nonchalance I think is the more appropriate term.

Been angry at my kids, but then they were misbehaving. And yet somehow, I feel like I’m looking to add more fuel to the fire when I get mad lately. Like I’m looking for excuses to keep getting angry. Not sure why.

Been thinking of adding PSITQ or starkq to my stack but with the current situation, I’m actually torn since I’m stuck home with my family and very rarely leaving the house.

So yeah. Maybe reconciliation.

#137

QL ST2 DAY41

And there’s now a new experimental sub for StarkQ. Talk about reconciliation causing sub hopping?

Anger. Mostly. As kids are not behaving. Knowing how to push my buttons. Ended up shouting after my kids did not behave. Is it recon? Or is it really just me?

Lazy. Yep. Been feeling tired and lazy all day. Had to work and forced myself to. But only ended up doing barely minimal work.

#138

QL ST2 DAY42

So lately I’ve been experiencing mild to moderate headaches when I wake up and at night. Normally Advil or Tylenol solves this but maybe it’s because of running my stack too much. As @SaintSovereign mentioned, maybe it’s time to cut it back a bit:

So starting today, I decided to run each sub in my stack 3 times. Before I just ran my stack in a loop. Now, as before, I still have 2 stacks. One at night, one during the day. They will be as follows:
DAY:

  • QL ST2 x3
  • AM x3
  • AI-Covid19 x1

Night (only ultrasonics):

  • QL ST2 x3
  • Mogul x3
  • AI-Covid19 x2

Also, depending on how I feel, I may add EF ST1.

So onto my journal.
Given that my wife wanted to have a chance to go out, and that she didn’t know how to drive, we packed the kids in the car and drove to the grocery store. While she went inside, kids and I were left in the car with the kids watching a DVD. Normally, they would become rowdy and restless after some time. And this often times gets me mad especially when one starts crying. Today, anger wasn’t really much of an issue. In fact, come to think of it, I don’t recall getting really mad today. (Yey me!)

Both my right wrist and left elbow are starting to hurt again. Decided to play 3 loops of EF ST1. Can’t really say discomfort went away as it is too early to tell. May continue with EF tomorrow.

Head was starting to hurt again prior to writing this entry. But since I both stopped listening to any sub and also got an Advil, my headache’s gone. So yeah. Maybe Q is really that strong that I need breaks?

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#139

QL ST2 DAY43

So my left elbow and right wrist still hurt. Extending my left arm hurts a bit. Especially when I need to move heavy stuff. So I ran 3 loops of EF ST1. I feel like it’s the muscles around the joints that are problematic. Hopefully EF can help with this.

So woke up without any headaches. And I don’t have one now. So maybe changing the listening process seems to help. Although, at the back of my mind, I always felt that more results to more. Like more practice gets better results, more studying makes better grades, etc. So here’s to hoping that in this case less is more.

Feeling a bit sad since I cannot play with my family too much without wincing. Also, anger has been on-off today. Hopefully this is just reconciliation.

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#140

QL ST2 DAY44

So my wrist does not hurt as much. But my elbow still does. Actually, it hurts even more. However, it only hurts when I am holding/lifting something or when I stretch my arm. So most probably it is a muscle.

Not really sure if EF ST1 is helping with the healing. But then, maybe it’s still a bit early.

Been feeling very lazy today. So lazy, I did not want to even think about work. In fact, at today’s meeting, I actually forgot that it was my turn to present. We normally take turns presenting something at the end of the meeting. So yeah. Was a bit embarrassed but, idk. Part of me didn’t give a fuck really.

Kicking myself a bit since I’ve been looking at hints to some practice problems I’ve been working on as preparation for my certification exam. I mean, sometimes I just feel like I need a little push in the right direction as I don’t know where to start. But now that I know what to do, I feel stupid not thinking about it first.

Man idk. Somehow, I feel like I want to try StarkQ but don’t know if it’s a good fit for my goals, needs and situation. I wanted an empire so I tried out Ev4 and EQ, but it got me mad a lot of times that, as a father and husband, is not really good for my family, especially given the lockdown.

#141

QL ST2 DAY45

Wrist is hurting less, but elbow feels like it’s gotten worse. Lifting stuff feels harder although when my arm isn’t moving, it feels like I just put heating ointment over it (which is good). So I really can’t say if there’s any healing happening on my elbow, although the wrist seems to be getting better.

Nothing much to report about. Pissed off most of the day. Kid’s teachers set up last minute meetings and only told me bout them this morning. So I had to change my plans quickly. The thing is, lately I feel like I need to plan my day somehow and any changes to it seems to ruin my day.

Didn’t really get to work at all because of the meetings. By the time all were done, I needed to go out and get toiletries as we were running out of soaps, shampoos etc. Pretty much uneventful, but by the time I got home, I felt so tired. Ended up taking a nap just before dinner.

#142

QL ST2 DAY46

Dang it!!! My arm from the elbow down to the forearm hurts. Simply lifting it while or twisting something hurts. So I don’t think it’s bone but more muscle that’s the problem. Bad thing about it is that I don’t want to risk going to a physical therapist in our area as it’s in a hospital.

So I tried experimenting with StarkQ-Terminus. Just 1 loop made me feel like I should be obeyed and listened to. Anger was there but in a more tempered and controlled way? Anger was more prevalent when running EQ test before. Also with StarkQT, I felt like I needed to go learn more, look for more free training methods, either via YouTube, blogs, free trainings, etc. Anything just to improve my knowledge on my subject matter.

With QL also running, I think this would greatly improve the push from Stark. Though I’m not sure whether or not terminus is too strong for me. May try it out for a few more days and see.

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#143

QL ST2 DAY47

Been running EFQ ST1 3 loops each day. But still my elbow down to my forearm hurts. Merely twisting a bottle cap is difficult. But I don’t know what else to do short of Tylenol, hot compress, ointments and EFQ.

While running StarkQT, I still feel that “Don’t fuck with me feeling”. Though kids seem to be testing me. At least my wife seems to be more compliant I guess? At least she’s not picking a fight after being stuck home for too long.

Also, Stark and QL seem to be pushing me to learn more. Been feeling much better solving practice problems. Though I need a few hints every now and then, but most of the time, I’m able to get the solution after being pointed to the right direction.

#144

QL ST2 DAY48

So I just realized that I’ve been running QL ST2 for over a month and a half now. I feel like my critical thinking has been improved somehow. Though at times I feel stupid as shit. As long as I know how to do something, I know I can excel in it. But when I need pointers, even if I am able to do it, I still feel like crap afterwards.

StarkQT still makes me feel like I can accomplish anything whenever I play it. Although I do easily get frustrated somehow.

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#145

I can relate… running QL ST4 now. I found out that it was my ‘overthinking’ that I should just be using my ‘presence of mind’ on the most part, must be QL helped me realized that :slight_smile:

#146

Yes. For my case, I think it’s more confidence and laziness. I think that if I encounter a problem I don’t know how to solve, I get lazy and stop thinking altogether. Maybe that’s why I keep looking for hints.

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#147

QL ST2 DAY49

Elbow still hurts a bit. Although, I feel like it’s getting better. And yet, my shoulder and back starts hurting now. Maybe because I’ve been overcompensating my movements to prevent my arm from hurting.

Been hot-headed today. Not to the point of shouting and all that, but my wife sensed that I was mad throughout the day. Maybe recon from StarkQT?

#148

QL ST2 DAY50

Elbow still hurts though not as much. Either EF ST1 is working or the pain is being transferred to my back/shoulders (due to compensating when lifting/moving) or that my body is actually healing itself. Either way, at least there’s some improvement.

For the first time in months, I actually spent time watching a movie by myself. Thought of it as an advanced birthday gift for myself. So I decided to buy Justice League Dark: Apokolips War. Not really sure what to make of it. But it felt like there were some pieces missing, and also a means for DC to “reboot” and get out of the New52 phase. But overall, it was ok. Still have some questions story-wise, but it was ok. Wouldn’t recommend it to my kids though, simply because of the language and the brutality.

Been thinking of my project and how I’ve been putting it off. But I still can’t bring myself to work on it. Not really motivated when I hate my job. Could it be StarkQT and some recon? I don’t know. Since I do feel motivated to study and work on improving my technical skills. And yet, at the back of my mind, until I get a better job, that wouldn’t bring home the bacon.

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#149

QL ST2 DAY51

Felt lazy as fuck. Not sure if it was simply because I was tired and sleepy or because I did not really want to work.

For the second night in a row, I slept late because I was watching a movie. This time it was Bumblebee. It was free on Prime video so I figured why not? Ended up watching till the end.

So yeah, productivity this past week sucked. I feel like I’m in a slump like when I was running Ev4. Though I also feel like I don’t want to switch StarkQT for AMQ.

Also, I noticed that although I still get angry, I haven’t been “that” angry for some time now.

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#150

QL ST2 DAY52

Nothing much to write about today. Was pissed at my kid because he wasn’t paying attention while meeting with his class. But, generally was able to hold my temper most of the day. So it seems StarkQT may be helping with that.

Productivity, meh. Honestly, I’ve been just forcing myself to do the littlest of work. Especially when I don’t feel any satisfaction from doing it.

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#152

QL ST2 DAY53

Felt absolutely lazy today. Been up early to make sure the kids are ready for “school” and have their gadgets ready for virtual classes. But me? I couldn’t even touch my laptop or even sit on my desk once the kids were doing their school work.

I already have parts of a presentation in my head. The only thing is, I cannot type it down. I only wanted to sleep and lounge around all day. This is some serious reconciliation.

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#153

Do you ever use dictation?