Digger’s Journey to becoming a Quantum Mogul

Journals - Major Programs
#141

QL ST2 DAY45

Wrist is hurting less, but elbow feels like it’s gotten worse. Lifting stuff feels harder although when my arm isn’t moving, it feels like I just put heating ointment over it (which is good). So I really can’t say if there’s any healing happening on my elbow, although the wrist seems to be getting better.

Nothing much to report about. Pissed off most of the day. Kid’s teachers set up last minute meetings and only told me bout them this morning. So I had to change my plans quickly. The thing is, lately I feel like I need to plan my day somehow and any changes to it seems to ruin my day.

Didn’t really get to work at all because of the meetings. By the time all were done, I needed to go out and get toiletries as we were running out of soaps, shampoos etc. Pretty much uneventful, but by the time I got home, I felt so tired. Ended up taking a nap just before dinner.

#142

QL ST2 DAY46

Dang it!!! My arm from the elbow down to the forearm hurts. Simply lifting it while or twisting something hurts. So I don’t think it’s bone but more muscle that’s the problem. Bad thing about it is that I don’t want to risk going to a physical therapist in our area as it’s in a hospital.

So I tried experimenting with StarkQ-Terminus. Just 1 loop made me feel like I should be obeyed and listened to. Anger was there but in a more tempered and controlled way? Anger was more prevalent when running EQ test before. Also with StarkQT, I felt like I needed to go learn more, look for more free training methods, either via YouTube, blogs, free trainings, etc. Anything just to improve my knowledge on my subject matter.

With QL also running, I think this would greatly improve the push from Stark. Though I’m not sure whether or not terminus is too strong for me. May try it out for a few more days and see.

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#143

QL ST2 DAY47

Been running EFQ ST1 3 loops each day. But still my elbow down to my forearm hurts. Merely twisting a bottle cap is difficult. But I don’t know what else to do short of Tylenol, hot compress, ointments and EFQ.

While running StarkQT, I still feel that “Don’t fuck with me feeling”. Though kids seem to be testing me. At least my wife seems to be more compliant I guess? At least she’s not picking a fight after being stuck home for too long.

Also, Stark and QL seem to be pushing me to learn more. Been feeling much better solving practice problems. Though I need a few hints every now and then, but most of the time, I’m able to get the solution after being pointed to the right direction.

#144

QL ST2 DAY48

So I just realized that I’ve been running QL ST2 for over a month and a half now. I feel like my critical thinking has been improved somehow. Though at times I feel stupid as shit. As long as I know how to do something, I know I can excel in it. But when I need pointers, even if I am able to do it, I still feel like crap afterwards.

StarkQT still makes me feel like I can accomplish anything whenever I play it. Although I do easily get frustrated somehow.

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#145

I can relate… running QL ST4 now. I found out that it was my ‘overthinking’ that I should just be using my ‘presence of mind’ on the most part, must be QL helped me realized that :slight_smile:

#146

Yes. For my case, I think it’s more confidence and laziness. I think that if I encounter a problem I don’t know how to solve, I get lazy and stop thinking altogether. Maybe that’s why I keep looking for hints.

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#147

QL ST2 DAY49

Elbow still hurts a bit. Although, I feel like it’s getting better. And yet, my shoulder and back starts hurting now. Maybe because I’ve been overcompensating my movements to prevent my arm from hurting.

Been hot-headed today. Not to the point of shouting and all that, but my wife sensed that I was mad throughout the day. Maybe recon from StarkQT?

#148

QL ST2 DAY50

Elbow still hurts though not as much. Either EF ST1 is working or the pain is being transferred to my back/shoulders (due to compensating when lifting/moving) or that my body is actually healing itself. Either way, at least there’s some improvement.

For the first time in months, I actually spent time watching a movie by myself. Thought of it as an advanced birthday gift for myself. So I decided to buy Justice League Dark: Apokolips War. Not really sure what to make of it. But it felt like there were some pieces missing, and also a means for DC to “reboot” and get out of the New52 phase. But overall, it was ok. Still have some questions story-wise, but it was ok. Wouldn’t recommend it to my kids though, simply because of the language and the brutality.

Been thinking of my project and how I’ve been putting it off. But I still can’t bring myself to work on it. Not really motivated when I hate my job. Could it be StarkQT and some recon? I don’t know. Since I do feel motivated to study and work on improving my technical skills. And yet, at the back of my mind, until I get a better job, that wouldn’t bring home the bacon.

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#149

QL ST2 DAY51

Felt lazy as fuck. Not sure if it was simply because I was tired and sleepy or because I did not really want to work.

For the second night in a row, I slept late because I was watching a movie. This time it was Bumblebee. It was free on Prime video so I figured why not? Ended up watching till the end.

So yeah, productivity this past week sucked. I feel like I’m in a slump like when I was running Ev4. Though I also feel like I don’t want to switch StarkQT for AMQ.

Also, I noticed that although I still get angry, I haven’t been “that” angry for some time now.

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#150

QL ST2 DAY52

Nothing much to write about today. Was pissed at my kid because he wasn’t paying attention while meeting with his class. But, generally was able to hold my temper most of the day. So it seems StarkQT may be helping with that.

Productivity, meh. Honestly, I’ve been just forcing myself to do the littlest of work. Especially when I don’t feel any satisfaction from doing it.

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#152

QL ST2 DAY53

Felt absolutely lazy today. Been up early to make sure the kids are ready for “school” and have their gadgets ready for virtual classes. But me? I couldn’t even touch my laptop or even sit on my desk once the kids were doing their school work.

I already have parts of a presentation in my head. The only thing is, I cannot type it down. I only wanted to sleep and lounge around all day. This is some serious reconciliation.

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#153

Do you ever use dictation?

#154

Nope. Unfortunately, this presentation also requires the use of graphs and lots of flowcharts (ie Visio, etc) This is an IT project and requires a lot of complex functions and software to actually build.

The proposal should also have a document containing all the interconnection between each part/system.

#155

All these days of sleepy/tiredness is most likely an effect of the Terminus payload.
Please downshift from StarkQT to StarkQ.

#156

Yeah I had a feeling StarkQT may have been too strong for me. Even if I was listening only 2 loops intermittently, it still felt strong. Though maybe I was also too stubborn and hardheaded to admit it.

Will be moving to StarkQ instead. Thanks @Simon

#157

QL ST2 DAY54

As per @Simon’s suggestion, I scaled back from StarkQT to StarkQ. Was slightly able to get a little work done. Though not as much as I would have liked, but I guess it’s a start.

6 more days and then I’ll be moving on to QL ST3. My ability to learn and comprehend seems to have improved. Although, somehow I still feel that if I don’t know the steps to solving an unfamiliar problem, I’d rather just skip it. Need to focus more and grit my teeth into it more.

Arm/elbow still hurt. Though at least my back and shoulder pains subsided a bit.

#158

QL ST2 DAY55

Somehow felt the drive to work on my project, and yet due to certain things that happened today, I wasn’t able to do it.

Torn between studying and working on it tonight. And yet, I feel more satisfied when I get to solve problems rather than work on a project with little recognition from the higher ups.

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#159

QL ST2 DAY58

Not that things were really busy these past few days, but more like I just wanted to take a small break.

QLQ seems to be pushing me to study more. Even if I don’t understand the problem or if I don’t know the steps how to solve it right away, I still find a way to push through and get it right. Seems like that mental fog, wherein I just give up if I don’t know an answer, is slowly lifting.

Couple the above with StarkQ, and that may be the reason why I feel like this. Although I am slowly starting to work on my project/proposal, I feel that at least I’m moving forward. In fact, even when I’m busy doing something else, both thoughts about work and study keep popping up. Thoughts about possible solutions, possible methods, possible additions to both work and study problems keep coming up unheeded. In fact, I don’t even have to consciously think about them. It’s like there’s another part of me actually thinking about them while I’m busy doing something else.

Now, the biggest challenge for me is to actually get my ass off and actually try to do what I came up with!

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#160

QL ST2 DAY61

Lately I feel that journaling is like a chore I will or will not do. Maybe because I feel that more or less I’m in a good spot right now (can be better), that I don’t feel the need to write? Or maybe the lazy part of me just decided to be lazy journaling instead?

But then again, at least it’s a good thing I decided to check my journal. Turns out I’ve been running QL ST2 for 2 months now. So tomorrow, I’ll be moving on to ST3.

So I finally presented my proposal to my boss. Still needed some ironing, but overall it went well. Now I just need to get the ball rolling so that I can have a POC soon.

As for studying, I feel that I’m able to grasp and absorb abstract concepts bettet now. Just have to push myself a bit when tackling unfamiliar problems.

Elbow still hurts. So not sure if EF ST1 has any effect or if it could be worse. Although my shoulder no longer hurts so that’s a good thing I guess.

Also, wife’s been very flirty with me to the point that she’s been outright seducing me each night. So yeah, we’ve been making love for a few nights straight now.

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#161

QL ST3 DAY1

Have this urge to devour every training available in my field. However, this is really impossible not only because it’s expensive but also time consuming. And yet a part of me doesn’t want to think about the expenses really. But still another part is being realistic in the sense that I used to jump into a lot of things and never accomplish much because I’ve been spreading myself thin.

Felt a bit depressed. Last January, after 2 weeks of waiting for a call regarding a job I interviewed for, I asked the recruiter for any feedback. I was told that they were still having problems deciding as there were many applicants and that I was one of the first to apply. Fast forward, and I saw the same job post on LinkedIn from the same company! They posted the same thing a few days ago. And I’m like, should I call the recruiter and tell them I’m still interested or fuck that?!

Been noticing that I’m a bit more playful now in general. Been joking a lot more with the wife and kids. Must be StarkQ.

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