Really appreciated what you wrote, @jaguar. But there was one point I wanted to reply to, and so of course that’s the one part I’m going to emphasize now.
These are known as growing pains. Whenever a system evolves or develops there will be hiccoughs, instabilities, and various issues. That’s not a sign that things are getting worse…and it’s also not a sign that things are getting better. It’s a sign that things are developing.
Life has never ‘made sense for everybody’. There was never such a past era of ‘perfect’ health or ‘perfect’ social adjustment for all people. More like, if things happened to be not going right for you, there was a decent chance you might be forced to shut the eff up about it and suffer in silence.
it is becoming a trend definitely here in China….Same type of bullshit just flowing in the air…I had the “privilege” to get into those “feminism” group and witness those obnoxious things they had been ranting…I could really see those hatred energy welling up and drowning all of them…they just get a sense of belonging and such…they are jaded…I dont blame them for it…but ，I just made up my mind and realize that some people they are just not suitable for healthy relationship…because they have some internal issues waiting to be resolved…before that，they will just constantly draw to the same toxic situation and it is no one responsibility but themselves…
Yup. This is recon all right. I can tell you exactly what’s happening because it’s happened to me.
Your insecurities are surfacing, and this “I’m better than you” attitude is a defense mechanism used by a lot of insecure people.
The key to getting past it is to face it head on and figure out why they’re there.
It’s fairly normal and if you stay on your path, it’ll pass.
Feminism changed the way relationships work.
In the past women needed men for basically everything. In Germany they weren’t even allowed to have jobs without the consent of their husband. That lead to women depending on their partner in a bad way. They were forced to stay with an abusive ass oftentimes.
Emancipation changed that greatly.
For the better at first, for the worse lately (in my opinion).
The problem is, that men weren’t able to adapt to this change. We, as a sex, are still looking for what it really means to be man. When you look around, you see softies, nice guys, machos, but authentic masculinity is a rare thing.
This change in the way of how relationships work led to many breakups, many divorces, many sons growing up without a father and even more growing up without a male role model.
Which led to them becoming suboptimal fathers.
And that’s the same for women. Many grow up without a solid father figure, leaving them with daddy issues.
But as hot as it may seem to be called daddy during sex, a broken relationship to your parents always leaves you unwhole, because parents are always the archetype of men and women.
Meaning, embodying the devine feminine (or masculine) is very hard, as long as you don’t heal this relationships.
It’s also widely recognized that wartime economies in the early and mid-20th centuries played a big role.
And the transition to an industrial- and then electronics- and now an information-based economy. The need for ‘heavy lifting’ is just not as prioritized as it once was in the project of ‘making a living’.
Things change. New challenges, new problems, new solutions.
Leading to new choices.
Personally, I think economic realities tend to precede the ideological cultural shifts that go on in societies. But that’s a matter for debate.
I think this is inaccurate. Or otherwise, it’s so general that its accuracy is not particularly useful.
I personally know examples of women who grew up without present father figures and who went on to embrace traditional nurturing gender roles in their families.
I also know of many women with ‘strong, stable’ present fathers who opted out of the traditional ways of doing things.
It’s futile, in many cases, to try to reduce large-scale societal changes to just one simple causative factor.
We’re not so easily predictable, I think.
It is ultimately you who are responsible for the adult choices that you make in this life; to face challenges and difficult situations with courage and honesty, or to hide and run from your reality.
This is not determined by your parents. Especially not once you’ve passed the age of adulthood.
Having the ‘right mommy’ or the ‘right daddy’ does not fix everything.
Sooner or later, we have to stand and face the situations of our own lives. It is an inevitable encounter.
And I don’t think there’s any one simple factor that automatically determines how those encounters turn out.
But I think that showing that courage to face the realities of one’s life and situation, with both humility and audacity plays a major role in how things develop and turn out.
May we all—men, women, and beyond—find the courage that we need to live this thing.
Things are indeed getting worse and there’s several studies f.e. that predict that within 10 years 50% of women will be single with cats. As I said before 30% of men are having no sex whatsoever and becoming super desperate, feminine and more and more disrespectful towards women. I see these problems in real life more and more as time goes by. Men and women cannot connect any more. Men and women get into relationships less and less. Compared to 6-7 years ago the dynamics between men and women have changed a lot! This is not about me and my circumstances, many people are talking about this
Damn bro you hit the nail in the head. Yeah it’s disgusting what’s happening and how some women are being used and turned against themselves and having healthy relationships but seriously you can’t save the NPCs. Some people are just puppets of the system. How are things in China? Do you feel good staying there?
Yeah that’s what it means, she will either sleep with many men to feel loved and validated or she will go the opposite route and will be afraid of meeting men because she can get abandoned again. Depends on the character
I have to agree with this… From my experience, girls shelter themselves from getting hurt and in the progress isolate themselves completely from men (some are lesbian, with quite toxic relationships, but I digress)
I know a woman that is genuinely as dumb as a rock. I know I’ve spoken about my superiority complex but this is far far beyond. We’re talking an incredible failure in terms of social skills, absolutely no potential, the absolute worst humor I’ve ever encountered, the list goes on…
She has endless options, is dating constantly etc.
I know many intelligent young men with very cute personalities that get stepped over all the time for no good reason.
Me personally, I’m incredibly charismatic and have high emotional intelligence, to the point where I went to a therapy group and ended up becoming the therapist and doing the psychologists’ job due to them not actually aiding me and my group mates. Now I have a small following that I lead to a better path and am planning to open an unprofessional support group.
I talk to a good bunch of women, a lot of them ghost or end up finding the smallest of faults, then use those as excuses to stay away from men.
I’m 24, lately began talking to a 41 year old, everything went well, I explained to her my ex crush and how I felt sad that I couldn’t touch her heart.
She made a sexual remark and asked “well did you atleast touch her ass?”
From my pov, I thought she was ok with sexual remarks etc.
A few days later, I ended up telling her I finally found xxxl condoms and that it’s a miracle, because you know… if she can talk about sexual stuff, why not I?
Anyways, she ended up flaking last second from the meeting, said she feels bad.
I ended up asking her a few days later if that really was the case, I told her I want to meet her however I do not see a reason to chase her if she puts no effort.
She said she didn’t really feel bad, but felt “threatened” due to my remark about condoms… She’s 41. Single.
The dumb as rock girl I know constantly talks to me about the guys she dates, she asks me constantly if their reactions are proper etc, if the age gap isn’t problematic etc. She’s constantly searching for a reason to run away and not get hurt.
She made a whole fake instagram account to hit on the guy she dates, just to see how he’ll reply.
He said “I’m not interested, I’m currently seeing someone, please do not message me further”
…
She still asked me if that’s a proper response by him. Just wtf. It was literally perfect. There’s 0 accountability for her own insecurities… It’s genuinely nuts.
With another lesbian friend I had to constantly chase her because she got “hurt by men” and so I had not only to walk on eggshells, but also constantly be the one to initiate. She ended up constantly belittling me and trying to gaslight me.
Until I said ahh, fuck all this and cut two out of my life, the dumb as rock girl is a personal project, to see just how powerful of an impact I can do, even on rocks.
I see you are very sure about your very specific and often extreme perceptions and beliefs about this world. Frankly, while I could debate with you on this, I wont simply because its of no value to me if you change your mind or not.
That was kind of a useless and inflammatory response not gonna lie. If you’re not gonna contribute to my thread or engage in meaningful conversation, I’d be happy if you’ll refrain from commenting.
Do you think a kid who grew up in a unstable house with fights everyday, went to an average school will have the same potential as a kid who grew up in a stable house emotionally and financially wise, went to a good school etc? This is simply not the case. Life is not fair, it is what it is. And obviously after we grow up it’s our responsibility to make it no matter what happened to us when we were kids. But f.e. how successful someone is is directly proportional on how much stress they can take and still keep moving forward that’s why healing is the number one way to become successful. Or f.e. prefectionism because of overprotective parents is another huge reason why people don’t become successful and being blamed and shamed as kids for making mistakes. The way I see it is our parents dump their shit on us and then it’s our responsibility to heal and not do the same to the next generation
Gotta agree with this one. It seems that me and you think alike on things. It’s easy to take all of the responsibility on ourselves as to not face reality that sometimes we get fucked over, what we do with it is a whole different story.
To me it feels like one of those “you’re suffering? well, children in africa are starving, so are you really?” it’s all about perspective in the end but if one hasn’t gone through life as an abused child with abusive parents he probably will never know the sheer terror and ocean-deep loneliness that comes with it.
We’re all born with different pros and cons, we all wish to become the best version of ourselves, but I could never do what lebron james does. Simple as.
A person with low functioning autism with abusive parents has far less potential than a mentally stable person from a wealthy, supportive family.
We can look at stephen hawking as an example of someone that somehow made his potential real even against all odds… But he’s one. One of MANY.
Yeah that’s exactly the effect of feminism on them that will make them stay alone and single. Remember the 50% of women will be single studies show comment of mine? This is happening in real life unfortunately. It’s sad
Yesterday when I meditated and was a tad high on a shroom microdose (potent stuff!) I reimagined a conversation with women from my past which were scared of being emotional and trusting me and my love for them.
