Creation of a new reality

I am walking a path with higher risk, uncomfortable with unknown challenges but leading to the next level (at least I hope that, a dead end would bring me down one level, that is why I have to play cautiously).

With 2 rest days in between (one was extra) I did 60s loops of EE and EoG2.
Let’s see how my brain feels tomorrow.

I notice reduced patience and higher irritability than normal with that stack.

Recon or a normal consequence of the stack?

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Not sure yet, currently I would guess it is recon, more time will tell

The impact of Executive is still not there yet but probably because it is further away from my perceived self than the EoG self.

I was feeling a lot of recon in procrastination last week, now I am close to normal level of productivity so I hope soon I will get much more productive than before…

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My own (limited) understanding of recon:
Written for my personal understanding only.

If a title is very much in alignment and successes of my life and my current life story, it does not have to reconcile a lot, it is playing in my strength and therefore I should see results and actions pretty quick.

If a title is trying to turn a ā€œweaknessā€ or ā€œunderdeveloped life areaā€ into strength or abundance, my current life story is not aligned and my subconscious is like ā€œreally, you must be kiddingā€ or ā€œnot with meā€ and then it acts like a teenager and does the opposite - until the internal life story slowly changes, the perception of the outside world changes and the subconscious starts with first attempts to support ā€œyeah, I might be able to try but don’t expect too muchā€ and with longer running the title it is like ā€œactually it is not that bad, I never said anything against thatā€ and the life story is changed to a different narrative.

Trailer effect sometimes happens with me but not always.
Challenging titles might give me recon first, then radio silence and then small start of complying.
But I think even great titles take time with me and after half cycle or a cycle I start accepting the new narrative.

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Will pause EoG2 for now to make a slot free, Executive will continue with 60s every 3rd day for this cycle

Doing a washout due to vacation.

Thanks to my washout I now see how much recon affected me.

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Start of a new cycle.

Executive for 15sec. Last time it led to standstill.

The breakthrough that I had with supposedly EoG2 is fading away since I didn’t ran it afterwards.
It is funny, I thought I have the break through so why would I need that slot filled with EoG2 but now the breakthrough seems less real, more like a distant dream that I remember.

Should I make EoG2 come back into my stack?
I think so. I want to make this my new reality, do whatever it takes.

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Browsing houses within my country. Fancy houses.
Damn, there are quite a lot and beautiful and I feel drawn to them…
Is it good or bad? I feel it is good, it makes me see what is possible (for others) and increases my ambition to do better, much better than I was planning to.

Back to my trading and investing focus. What is going on?
Not much, but that does not mean I am a lazy person. I promised myself that I will take it more serious (even said treat it like a business) and I am doing better there. Analyzing the charts of the assets that I am interested in, doing technical analysis for entry and exit levels.

Fundamental analysis tells you WHAT to buy, technical analysis tells you WHEN (at which levels) to buy.

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Yesterday listened to 30sec Executive, feels like I am normalizing, being as productive as before, but not better (yet). It’s ok for me.
Making a lot of progress in retrospection, insights and planning. I like it.

having so many moments of deep insight right now, everything could have been sooo obvious, some stuff I could have solved like lots of years ago if I had the (access to the) information.
But yeah, this is the present day, I don’t have access to time travel yet so I make the best out of what I have now.

I am journaling way more offline now.

Also so far my day was filled with a lot of action taking, not always directly (had that with some subs in the past), now I was feeling that I don’t like to do it but also the pleasure of everything else was reduced if I don’t take action, so I was coming back to the action taking. But remember like a few days or weeks ago I was in recon so even if I knew something had to be done I was more or less miserable for not doing it but still not doing it. Man, writing that down sounds so stupid.

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Had to save that for me. Brilliant from @Jouissance

Since I paused Executive I am way less irritated than when I was running it. It was ONLY with Executive and boy, my nerves were really triggering quickly. Not a nice experience but now that I stopped it more than a week I can go back to society :wink:

Yesterday I listened to 30s executive again after a pause from it for more than a week.
Today nearly no patience again, super irritated.
Can’t run this right now.