Conquer Oneself To Conquer The World - Journal by Xelas

Journals - Major Programs
#76

Day 12 - Listening night

Stage 3 is going really hard on me. This week has been pretty bad with recon and other things going on in my life at the moment. The desire I had to approach women is completely gone now, but honestly, that might also be because I fapped last weekend, so my motivation for sex has toned down a bit. On the bright side, I’m reaching great levels in terms of my physique, and I’m looking better each day.

I’ve also decided to ask for a raise at my company. This thought first came to me toward the end of stage 2, but this week I decided to man up and actually ask for it. It’s starting to dawn on me that I’m putting in much more than I’m getting back. That’s definitely Khan’s scripting at work.

When it comes to women, it’s interesting - whenever I do talk to girls, it feels so effortless. I’m relaxed and smooth, like I’ve always been this way, and I can see how it positively affects them. Last weekend I was at a pub, and a woman was flirting with me heavily, being touchy and giving me compliments. Too bad she wasn’t attractive, but that’s definitely WB helping me

There’s a big party going on in town tonight, and some of my friends will be there too. I’m thinking weather I should go or not. Might as well…

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#77

I’m going through a lot of recon right now. Throughout this whole cycle of Stage 3, I can’t stop thinking about Primal. During Stage 2, those thoughts passed quickly, but with this cycle, I just keep thinking about Primal.

Tonight I went out with this one girl and her friends. To summarize, a month ago I went out with the same group, but I was completely drunk. That time, the girl and everyone absolutely loved me. Tonight, however I stayed sober for most of the time, and I could feel that neither the girl nor her friends were really vibing with me being there.

The point is, when I was drunk, I was being my true self my unhinged, primal self. Without a care in the world. I exactly know why they and she liked me, because thats not the first time that everyone gets attracted to the drunk me. And that’s how I genuinely want to be. Completely free from pondering about what others might think of me, just be my unhinged primal self. Not because some people like it or not, but because that’s who I truly am. But I can only express it when I’m drinking. But I want to be comfortable with expressing that part of me when I’m sober too.

So, now I’m seriously considering Primal. But the big question is: should I replace Khan with Primal, or should I replace WB? I really can’t decide right now. I gotta stick with Khan, but I feel like WB is helping me with so much, even beyond attraction. Idk.

Somebody just liked a couple of my posts on the Primal thread lol. All the signs lead to me running Primal

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#78

In the situation you described, I could see Primal working better, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should scrap WB as you said.

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#79

I definitely want to keep WB, but I really don’t want to quit Khan either. Today, I feel better and think why should I even bother worrying about what those people think? It’s not like I have to entertain everyone I meet. I think what happened was “necessary” recon, so that I can make a bit of progress in my beliefs.

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#80

Come to think of it, I’ve really made a lot of progress socially. I remember that Stage 2 made me feel similar to what Primal would do, but with more dominance. Stage 3 might not have as much scripting to instill beliefs, so I think I should’ve just stayed on Stage 2 longer to let those beliefs sink in deeper. Stage 4 includes the scripting of Stages 2 and 3, so I might gel with it better. I think I’ll wait until I complete Khan before deciding if I need Primal or not.

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#81

I decided to take an early washout. Still debating whether to run Primal, perhaps replacing WB. Last night, I had a dream where I started running Primal and successfully pulled a girl. I think this is the second time this month I’ve had a dream about running Primal lol.

One of the reasons I’m considering Primal is because I feel like I need to get in touch with my inner sexual primal self, and I’d rather do it now than later in life. I’ve noticed that all the guys I know personally who are very successful with women are in touch with that primal side of themselves.

I also think the reason it’s so hard for me to let go of WB is that, in a way, I feel insecure without its aura. Maybe going through Primal again will help me get to a point where I don’t have to rely on auras, making it easier to fully utilize WB when I come back to it later. I might even go back to Khan Stage 2 next cycle and start running Primal from there. Instead of continuing with Stage 4 right now.

Idk yet. I have until next week to decide. These are just my thoughts right now.

#82

So I decided to do another run of Khan Stage 2 and keep WB. Thoughts of Primal still come up here and there, but I promised myself that I’ll finish Khan no matter what, and WB is just a sub that I want to keep running forever lol. Also, @Plutus’s WB results post inspired me to keep WB because it reminded me of my physical shifting goal, and honestly, the progress I’ve made so far in that regard is definitely due to WB and keeps me motivated to keep going. I was looking at some of my photos from this summer, and it’s crazy how much better I look now.

The biggest progress I’ve made on this stack is really my motivation and determination. I’ve never been so disciplined in my life with fitness and work. I got the raise I asked for as well, so that’s also thanks to Khan’s “I take what I deserve.” I’ve made some great progress in socializing as well, but not much with women yet. Of course, it’s my fault since I haven’t been taking action with that, which is why I sometimes think about Primal and if it’s going to make it easier for me to approach. I could include Primal in this stack, but I’m wondering: is that gonna be too much? Idk. Also, I was saving the third slot for Primal Nights for improvement in sex, but I’m thinking now what’s the point in even thinking about PN now since I don’t even have women to sleep with lol. So I might include Primal, but I’ll see

Anyway, I’m 16 days into my second run of Khan 2 and WB and I really wanna keep going with this stack. Primal might be something that I’ll include temporarily.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that no PMO is absolutely important when running those 2 subs because I’ve noticed how all the progress with confidence seems to completely disappear after I give in. Takes a few days to get back into the groove.

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#83

Did a full loop of Primal last night as a test and I was really surprised by how quickly it kicked in. Today I feel so carefree and playful, genuinely enjoying every interaction I have with people. I also noticed that I’m unusually funny and witty with my words today. This made me realize how serious I had become while using Khan and WB, as I’ve been very focused on discipline, work, and fitness lately. With Primal, I feel like I can loosen up a bit when needed. I think including Primal was the right decision.

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#84

Having even more looks from women today but I think it’s cause I trimmed down my stubble to very minimum and it just looks better on me than longer stubble. Overall I feel really good and happy today.
I’m thinking that maybe I should do loops of Primal only once a week to not take my focus away from Khan and WB.

#85

Going through doubts again about including Primal or not. The loop I did a couple of days ago made me feel really good, it felt like a breath of fresh air, but I can’t help thinking that combining Khan, WB, and Primal might be overdoing it.

So, I keep going over these questions:
Why do I want to run Primal?

To let loose and have fun, playful interactions with women - well, I’ve had instances of that on Khan and WB as well.
To have that sexual, primal aura in interactions with women - well, Khan should certainly take care of that.
To get a push to approach - on my first few days of Stage 3, I did my first approach (in many years), even if it was just complimenting a random woman on the street (thanks to @Realitysmith for giving me that idea, it definitely gave me a push).
To feel nonchalant and relaxed around women- WB is known for giving a nonchalant, idgaf attitude, and Khan can definitely help with that as well.
When I think about it logically, I ask myself if I really need Primal. I mean, I haven’t even finished Khan yet.

At the end of the day, my goals are simply to have an abundance of sex. Khan and WB should be more than enough. I, of course, have other goals that I’m running Khan for, but the reason I wanted to include Primal was to up my chances of getting laid.

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#86

I’m at the end of my cycle of Khan Stage 2 and WB. I think the best course of action is to do Stage 3 and WB again, but this time utilize them more efficiently. Starting next week, I’ll be on holiday, so I’ll have more time to myself.

First, I’ll improve how I use dating apps. The photos I currently have on there are from 1.6 to 2 years ago, and since I look way different (and better) now, I’ll need to take some new, high quality photos. I’ll ask a friend for help with that.

Next, I’ll start exploring areas in my city that I haven’t been to before, so basically, just spending more time outside among people lol. I think that’s a good start.
Plus, with the holidays coming up, I know I’ll be going out with friends and family more, which will also be an opportunity to get out there and meet new women.

I think this time of year is the perfect time for Khan Stage 3 and WB to do their thing.

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#87

Started Khan Stage 3 and WB today. This time I’m gonna be running loops early in the morning instead of before bed, as I did with the earlier stages and WB. I’ll see how that works out. I’ll also probably throw in some loops of ROTNW here and there maybe once a week or so.

On Friday I went out with a couple of my coworkers for some drinks, and I’m really proud of how, for most of the night, I vaped instead of smoking cigarettes. Those who smoke or used to smoke know how alcohol can be a huge trigger, but I held up well and only smoked a couple of cigarettes. By that point I was completely blacked out and wasn’t thinking in the slightest lol so I won’t count those.

A few days ago, while shopping, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw an attractive, sexual being. That got me thinking that there might be no point in me trying to actively sexualize in conversation or seduce too hard because my sexual aura is so strong now that it might even drive women away.

I’m also starting to get thoughts of approaching women again because the sexual urges are becoming too strong lol. Still, I’m managing to abstain from PMO, although those thoughts do pop up here and there.

Another interesting thing: about a week ago, I tried a 5 minute loop of Khan Stage 4 and ended up manifesting two matches on a dating app the next day. Had fun and flirty convos with both of them, although our convos eventually died off and didn’t lead anywhere. Still, it makes me think that Stage 4’s ability to manifest women must be really strong.

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#88

So I just came across this post by @Malkuth on the Khan thread and I’m glad I did because it confirmed my personal interpretation of Khan. At its core, it is about helping us develop Interpersonal Power, and once we grasp it, we can use it to work towards and achieve ANYTHING we want: wealth, romance, relationships

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#89

This is the illustration I had in mind. I used ChatGPT to create it, so the words appear sloppy, but that fiery circle is interpersonal power. Around the edges it’s meant to say wealth, romance etc. When the fire grows, we can use it to achieve all the goals we desire

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#90

I think I’ll take another few days of washout because I’ve hit heavy recon since starting Stage 3 and WB. I believe the reason why is that I can instantly feel the sexual energy Khan Stage 3 generates, and it almost makes me uncomfortable being around people, knowing that I radiate so much of it, plus WB. After so many years of PMO almost every day and being so low in energy and confidence, it makes sense to me why I’m getting recon. I can feel my internal and extarnal world changing so fast, but it’s something I expected before starting Khan, so I’ll have to find a way to embrace it. Also, I’ll go back to doing loops before bed it definitely helps me with minimizing recon.

#91

Here’s another thing to consider: I had been celebrating with my family, and there were a couple of women who acted a bit weird when I met them. Later, I was told that those exact women found me attractive and kept talking about me, calling me handsome etc.

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#92

Still under washout, but I’ll probably do a loop of Khan Stage 3 and WB tomorrow night before New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I’ve had so many days of washout because I’ve been having incredible realizations. I almost want to do a full review of my stack of Khan and Wanted Black, but I haven’t moved to Stage 4 of Khan yet.
I’ll do a quick one though;

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#93
#94
#95

I think there’s a music thread here, but I can’t find it, so I’ll just keep posting music here lol