Alright, so that state has passed and I’ve just finished running one loop of Paragon. I won’t be running my custom till I feel I’ve gathered a sufficient amount of mental energy. Paragon is light so one loop of it should be easily handled by my mind.
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Is it? 
(Genuine question)
Yes, when it comes to the processing. The execution is plentiful. The paresthesia in my two fingers is right about to get reversed completely and I’ve been listening to Paragon for two days only, 3 loops in total.
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I’m running my custom and Paragon today as my mind is ready to digest more programming. Yesterday I ran one loop of Paragon only. The shadow of the paresthesia is still lingering in my fingers but I shall get rid of it soon enough, I believe.
I got to the point where my identity is pretty malleable and it’s waiting to get forged into the dawn of my “new me”. That’'s a point where everything in me is shapeless and transient and the shadow of my old self is only flickering in the darkness of my psyche. The shifts are powerful up here, in the Terminus domain.
I took a day off yesterday and thanks to that both scripts are being executed just fine. Although I still feel a bit exhausted mentally I will be running my loops this evening. The exhaustion is caused mostly by going back to work at my school and I didn’t take any break working on my businesses for the last two months. Oh well, Spartan and Stark has made me a business machine indeed.
The paresthesia has got reversed almost completely and it’s only like its shadow was still lingering in my fingers.
I’ve just run two loops of Paragon-Ex and I’m getting recon in the form of irascibility. That’s peculiar since I would never expect recon from a title like Paragon. I’m getting a slight headache as well.
Let’s see what happens next. 
Edit:
The recon got resolved pretty fast. It took around two hours. I feel robust and I’m really energetic now, at 9:30 pm, and it was a really long and tedious day.
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Slight recon is still there in the form of brain hyperactivity and being slightly irascible. In the morning, doing yoga was so transcendental, my body felt ethereal and my movements were so smooth. I had some really vivid dreams last night as well. I’ll be running one more loop in the evening and I may run one loop of Optimus as well, depending on the feel.
Edit:
The has been no recon whatsoever for the last eight hours. I’ll be running my custom and one loop of Paragon-Ex tonight.
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It still feels like the experimental technology helps process the old tech yet it may be related to the length I’ve been listening to my custom, meaning, the longer you listen the lesser recon is and the faster processing is.
Throne of Bhaal
Optimus ZPT+Paragon Complete ZPv2+Emperor Black: Twilight of the Gods ZPv2
When I saw the description of EB:ToG I knew it was the title I had been waiting for for whole my life. To become the absolute master of my own inner world and reshape the outer world with my will has been always a dream of mine and my destiny. Now it’s time to overthrown “my father” - Bhaal (fears, blockages ans all what belittles me), take my place and sit on the throne of my own life. The Twilight of Bhaal has begun.
I’ve just run EB:TofG and, therefore, completed all the loops for my stack for today. I just feel a divine stream of energy bursting throughout all my being and the sense of dignity and pride flickering at my core.
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I’ve had lots of vivid dreams last night and I woke up feeling as if I had had a hangover but I shrugged it off pretty fast. Doing yoga gave me the energy boost I needed as well. I’m really calm and focused and my perception of reality is more thorough but at the same time pretty swift. I suppose that’s the focus mode from the description. Although I feel a lot of processing going on in my head I don’t feel overloaded or as if it was even a bit taxing on me. It may be misleading since it encourages to run one more loop but knowing how the new tech works I know it would be a mistake leading to overload. Today I’ll be listening to one loop of Paragon only.
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The new tech is ethereal indeed. The processing is smooth and swift, the recon is minimal if any and the execution is more “natural”. It requires less time and processing power to get processed and executed but at the same time it (the intensity of the results) lasts longer. Nice. Despite of that, I will be running my custom and Paragon only I want to get a better feel of EB:ToG first.
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Since I started running EB:ToG I’ve noticed some aspects of me coming to the light out of the shadow. Like smiling more genuinely and laughing more heartily. Also the intensity and quality of my orgasm has improved significantly. The residuum of negative self-talk has vanished utterly. I’m as calm and focused as I’ve always wanted to be.
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I ran one loop of EB:ToG three days ago and I can tell it took three days to process. Now it’s being executed profoundly and beautifully and I’ll run one loop today although I should wait one more day to let results intensify.
It’s more difficult to gauge the newest tech since the recon is almost nonexistent and the processing smooth and swift yet I can tell when it’s being processed heavily and I can easily tell when it’s being executed. I would say we should wait with the loop till we can tell the scripting is being executed and we have no recon nor are we overloaded. You need to learn the new signals since, although subtle, they are certainly there.
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EB:ToG is helping me discover aspects and qualities of me I’ve never been aware of. It makes their exploration fascinating and employing them just amazing. Another thing is I was a bit worried about my last investments since a lot of it depends on luck but I let it go telling myself that all of it is in “the hands of God” now and I decided to entrust it to “Him”.
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Even though EB:ToG contains only 1% of social scripting it has already sharpened my social skills a lot and I feel in social situations better than a fish in water. Naturally, people are reacting to me more positively and with more respect than usual for the powerful charisma component this title contains. I’ve had no recon on this tile whatsoever so far nor do I feel overexposed yet since I ran my loop yesterday I’ll be running only one loop of Paragon today.
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I should stick to my stack although the sadness stemming from the deep introspection EB:ToG provides me with needs soothing. I won’t give up on Optimus since it’s oriented to my priorities which are related to optimising my “systems”.
My current state of mind, and what has been revealed to me causing it, has prompted me to run one loop of CFW (V2) pairing it up with EB:ToG for a test. There’s a huge amount of shadow work being done underneath. It feels as if my soul wanted to cry out all the darkness that it contains within itself.
Apart from that, reevaluation of my values is taking place as well and I got to questioning the basic interpretation in Christianity which is following Jesus, being like him. It occurred to me that demanding of ourselves to be “like him” is a madness and demanding it of others is just cruelty since he is God. How could I be like God if I’m just human with its weaknesses and limitations? I concluded that the key must be somewhere else but is included in that question. What does it mean to be like Jesus, to be like God? The conclusion was it’s not about being like Jesus in the sense of acting like him or having his attitude but rather being like him in the sense of living our own essence. God described Himself saying “I am who I am” and we, as human, need to be the same way, just be who we are, realizing our true nature, tapping into our essence.
Anyway, I’ve just run EB:ToG followed by CFW. Now I’ll be running Paragon followed by my custom. Yesterday I took a day off.
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CFW smooths out the darkness EB:ToG brings but it also blunts the edge it gives you. On top of that, I feel I don’t need this kind of healing right now and I may never need it since those aspects (empathy, sensitivity, deep introspection, compassion, forgiveness) of me have been strong in me for whole my life.
Since I listened to four programs yesterday I’ll be listening only to Paragon tonight.
Edit:
CFW really makes me relaxed and feeling good but at the same time more inwardly focused and, especially, on my emotional side. It doesn’t collide with EB:ToG yet it takes away a bit of its focus on external goals and its dark edge. It’s a great pair but… the priorities.
I’ve just run Paragon and EB:ToG. I would like to see how the latter works when I press the button a bit harder. I also want to get rid of the taste of CFW… I want to be “darker” even though it gets a bit unpleasant from time to time.
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The example we have been given of the life and times of Jesus is not the purest and the way most of us relate to him is out of alignment with the intention of his embodiment.
We were given dominion and told to multiply.
We were created in the image of the Creator (and it doesn’t say anywhere in Genesis about being created in ‘Jesus’ image, either).
We were told to love our God with all of our hearts, our minds and souls.
Love your neighbors as you love yourself.
Do unto others as we would have done unto us.
Judge not, lest we be judged.
We were also told that observation would not bring about the kingdom of heaven.
The key, as I’m seeing you’re getting to, is to realize; the kingdom is within you. How we get to realizing that is the journey, is the key.
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