After reading the new microloop guideline and the replies by Saint, I decided to make a commitment to it. Just did my first ever microloop (30s). Since last year I haven’t had a regular or fixed listening routine, I think it’s good for me to have one now. It almost came as a relief to my mind as full loop with many rest days in between is harder than shorter loop with less rest days to it. At least it seems to be the feedbacks I am getting.
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Well I was so sure that 30s was a piece of cake and now I am having reconciliation. I feel like it has got more to do with my past full loops being released with the crack that is microloop if that makes sense. I am currently feeling anxious, easily triggered (e.g. sensitive to noises) and slightly overanalyzing. I kept thinking/trying to fil the gaps in the microloop guideline. For example, I was thinking when recon if one should further lower the exposure or increase rest days or both of them, if yes for how long etc. Also if one was in recon for sub A but not sub B, since both subs were meant to have the same amount of exposure, would it mean sub B be held back by sub A? How about if sub A reached say 7m but then a new sub was added, would it mean A had to go back to 30s to match the new sub?
Then a thought popped up and told me to “do” instead of overthinking any of that. All these overanalyzing mean little in real life, all I need is “just do it”; I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it and anything else before that is just my mind playing armchair philosopher.
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Still on 30s. Originally I considered moving on to 1m but after reading Saint himself was on 30s with his subs I decided to stick to 30s for another session or more, depends on the amount of recon. The recon I am feeling is less than the last session, though clearly it is here.
I am not rushing to higher loop; I am determined to do it properly this round with fixed schedule (discipline) and pay attention to what, when and how recon is brought up (clarity). I have a clear goal of what I want to achieve out of EoG1-to reinvent myself fundamentally. The background, the upbringing, the brainwashing, the experiences etc. don’t matter, they no longer define what I am or what I can do, and I am as fortunate and capable as any big shot. With EoG1 I am not looking for wealth ideas or opportunities, they exist in my life because they are the incidental effects of me being a fortune person if it makes sense. In fact EoG1 installed a few keywords in me: shake off and shave off, beyond and transcend.
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1m11s EoG1 the last session; it was meant to be 30s I closed my eyes and repeated a couple of mantras when I opened my eyes it was that.
Planned to listen to 50s for this session but got ear inflammation (again). It is hot, itchy and painful, also it causes me neckache and headache; I am tired and low energy, will just take an extra rest day.
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Finally the inflammation is (90%) gone. I don’t know where it came from but I was determined not to take any medicine or ear drops, and let my immune system do its own thing instead.
Listened to another 1min session and will move on to 3min for the next two sessions. For sake of consistency the rest of the cycle I will keep the pattern of AABBCC, meaning two sessions of 3mins, two sessions of 5mins, two sessions of 7min and so on.
EoG1 is working but quite subtly; there were manifestations in day to day life, which sometimes in a blessing in disguise way. For example a deal I was making fell through at the very last second, it was practically a done deal at that point. Yet later on I found a much better deal; had I made the first deal I actually lost out in the end. My intuition is getting slightly more noticeable; they were not necessarily life changing nudges but, regardless how small the advantages were, following them definitely brought out a more favorable outcome. Though I had to admit I wasn’t always quick/agile enough to following them.
As said my intuition is getting stronger, one of the hunch I got is listening to (new) Ascension (with New Wealth Experience or the Art of Joy and Happiness). I tried to compromise with Emperor or Godlike Masculinity but it just didn’t feel right. Without overloading or severe reconciliation, EoG1 brings me focus and clarity of what is essential, what shortcomings I am facing and need to overcome and which sub will help me correctly deal with them. I think EoG1 with Winner Overdrive is it for me; there isn’t one “flaw” my mind could find in it, unlike say Emperor-too sexual and broad or Chosen-not enough wealth. I can see and accept with peace that running EoG1 long term is doable and enjoyable.
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Made a mistake today by 1. Not reading the fine prints and 2. Being scatter-minded. The numbers and terms were literally staring right into my eyes yet my brain just didn’t comprehend at real time what I was seeing. Got half teased half blamed by someone, saying whatever trust/reliance placed on me was wasted. Well I blamed myself too; felt so useless. This is likely why I had huge recon on cognitive subs-my mind was too flawed and I felt too wounded. Good intentions were ruined by incompetence. Is it a wonder why I get anxious so easily.
Moments like this always make me wish I was nonchalant and thick skinned, better yet selfish and irresponsible. Do you have anything ideas how amazed I feel towards those who at best let things roll off their shoulders at worst shift the blame to others just like that as if they were not involved in the first place. Just don’t give a shit and tell others outright “it’s a you problem”.
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3m EoG1.
I now see the previous mentioned incident as it was without overdramatic flair; utilizes reason over emotions. Believe and understand that it was nothing but slight turbulence. Also see it in a positive light - a learning experience, a chance to better myself and to connect with others via that vulnerability.
Moreover once again that incident could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. If that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t take remedial action, which likely led to an outcome that was slightly better than I originally hoped to achieve. The point is I now likely obtained the original desired outcome. If I hadn’t made the mistake, yes I could avoid the humiliation and worthlessness, but also nothing was gained.
I have been contemplating but all of this brings extra attention to my role in manifestations. For example event A happened I didn’t like the outcome; my standard reaction was to change it to my preferred outcome, e.g. the focus was on event A and its outcome, or at the very least reverse the whole event back to before it happened. However in either case this prevented event B from happening, which might actually be more beneficial and/or less energy consumed.
That’s why I actively avoided choosing modules like Synergy Divine Dominion even though on paper I was amazed by its description and daydreamed about the manifestations I might have. The reason are 1. I know I can’t control my mind and am worried that negative manifestations would occur based on my over active imagination. 2. I know I lack clarity and wisdom. In the past I made decisions and took actions at that time made sense to me but in the end hurt me; it’s always the least expected or the most overlooked that brought me the best outcome. Sometimes the more I tried the worse it became.
Always have fixated on if my decision or action is the right one based on if it brings immediate benefits, when that doesn’t happen I then obsess with the could’ve been/would’ve been. I truly feel like I am learning something from EoG1 and it really is working with me and on me. Let this post ends with the following short - Rather than making the right decision, make the decision right
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In recon. Will take an extra rest day. Unlike before I make sure that with the micro loops instructions the maximum rest days is 3 in between sessions. If it isn’t enough I will then cut back the length of the loop.
Anyways the recon is currently shown up as low energy and low motivation. I want to stick my head in the sand and sing la la la to avoid dealing with anything related to finance or numbers. I got irritated when asked to review the expenses; I don’t wanna know how the numbers came to or if they might be wrong. Why are such nuisances existed in day to day life? A black hole that sucks up whatever little life force/strength I have.
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Trying to catch the pattern of the kind of food and/or drink makes my heart pounding and anxious. Part of it is recon that’s for sure but part of it seems to be triggered or exacerbated by certain food or drink, as other than that there isn’t noticeable external factors. Yet so far I am in the dark. For example coffee sometimes triggered it but equally sometimes it simply made me happy without physical symptoms. The same applied to the multivitamins I took sometimes no issues sometimes shortly after I felt anxious.
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5m on 16th Sep. 3m today.
I think 5m is the ceiling for now. The recon was handleable but definitely uncomfortable. Physical symptoms such as neck pain showed up and the quality of sleep went down, e.g. was restless. As mentioned I got irritated sometimes, was more sensitive to stress or external stimulations.
On the other hand (it is something I had noticed before), higher loop seemed to bring more external manifestation. Basically it seemed to me that shorter loop affects inner world when higher loop affects outer world at the expense of inner comfort. What I am saying is to me it’s almost as if the nutrition for the inner world was transferred to the outcome in outer world if it makes sense.
Compared to 15m/full loop, shorter loop makes listening easier not because of I don’t have extra 10m to spare, it is because of the mental strains I place on the preparation for listening session. Listening to full loop after a while was at best a ritual at worst a chore. I had to make sure I slept well the night before, ate enough nutritious food the same day. I also had to be careful with my mood before listening - it had to be neutral to good - since I believed it affects my absorption and/or the effectiveness or potency of the sub. One would find all this measurements sound beneficial, that it was great for sub to incidentally make me take care of myself. However in practice it showed up as OCD and anything less than perfect ruined the listening experience, and sometimes I avoided listening due to it. Looking back I see it was recon expressing itself and my brain asking for more rest days in a round about way.
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A bit of breakthrough in blind spot.
Sometimes I had this tendency/reflex to rationalize the mechanism of a happy event. Once that happened the event was no longer a happy one just an event - I explained away the magical feeling and lost it.
Let’s say I went to a cafe shop and get a cup of coffee, and the cashier told me oh it’s on the house you don’t have to pay. Great I am grateful and feel like it’s a good day. Yet later I realized it happened because I had nine stamps in my membership and the 10th was free. It wasn’t because I was lucky it was simply business. When that happened my focus was on missing the lucky part and being disappointed. Yet the nice thing - the free coffee - was right in front of me.
Yet the problem was, on the other hand, when an unhappy event happened the rationalization didn’t come up at all and instead my mind went straight to assume the worst.
Let’s say me and my friend went to a car dealership and told the salesman I want the best car. Later he brought out a big ass ugly vehicle for us. My mind went straight to assume he ignored our request because that ugly thing got him the most commission. Then I dealt with the whole thing with the belief that he was taking us as a fool and trying to take advantage of us.
Yet today I suddenly got that what we see as “best” is different for each of us. We only see “the best” from our own perspective based on our own understanding. The best car for me may be the fastest sport car, the best car for my friend may be whatever Dua Lipa was driving in her latest pic. And maybe just maybe that salesman believing it was the best car for us because it was built like a tank and provided the best safety to us.
What I am trying to learn is more understanding when something didn’t go my way, and saw that my way could be a narrow way. And more acknowledgment when good things happened, and saw the advantage I was given instead of dismissing it.
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Excellent point, my friend 
. It is very deep understanding on a subtle level.
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EoG1 with Winner Overdrive 3m. Will gradually go back down to 30s then go back up again.
Bored and low motivation; relapsed on PMO due to the need for simulation and “why not”. Feeling guilty and disgusted due to the kind of porns I watched. Also disappointed in myself throwing away the streaks and the benefits previously held.
At the moment thinking to add Chosen in Oct. One reason is I wanna keep September a pure EoG1 month. Another reason is I remember Saint mentioned how Chosen made his energy clean. I feel like I really need a thorough cleansing. In fact this moment I am even considering Dragon Reborn Gold stage 1 provided it cleanses me from head to toes and inside out, mentally, physically spiritually and energetically.
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I think EoG1 is digging deeper.
It’s funny certain keywords/concepts are holding me back from wanting Dragon Reborn GOLD - Honor, Collective Betterment, Virtue. The old me would jump on it (especially with the option of only stage 1), loved these aspects, had little resistance towards taking actions, and thrilled on aiming to be the highest standard self. Yet I feel like I can no longer go after them while my goal is wealth. I feel like they are mutually exclusive, either one goes for wealth or one goes for Honor/Virtue. Of course I know there are good wealthy people; the problem is I don’t know how one becomes wealthy while being honorable/moral/virtuous at the same time. I can reconcile fine with a good person making it big in business or a hard worker earning big bucks but once a ceiling/certain amount is involved my mind keeps seeing cheapstake businessmen greedy CEOs all of whom selfish all of them play dirty. And EoG1 was meant to go big so one was meant to go low.
On second thought let the whole relapse-led-me-to-DRG be magical. This happened for a beneficial reason. DRG was never in my radar to the point I never read the copy page before today, yet somehow it came to my mind and I intuitively felt it had what I looked for before clicking the page. And the more I thought about it the more I preferred it to Chosen. And the more incompatible I feel it with wealth the more reason for DRG to deal with this misconception.
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1m EoG1.
I am wishing for new module pack of Essence or Synergy to see if there was one that would pair well with Dragon Reborn RED Stage 1. It’s really down to DRR1 and Ascension for my 2nd sub but at the moment I am leaning more towards DRR1 as I had this came to me when I meditated - Let’s not do this in half measure; if you wanna do this go all in.
I have always interested in the concept of stage 1 (applies to all multistages subs) - Breaking down/cleansing/crashing/wiping the old state, then from it a strong and healthy foundation is built. When I first came to SubClub I really connected to Khan1 total breakdown but (as said many times before) I didn’t wanna spend $99 for one fourth of the sub as I knew with absolute certainty stage 1 would be the only stage I used.
Years later the same - connecting and using only stage 1 - still holds truth. I am not joking when I say up till this point I have no idea what EoG stage 2 to 4 is about as I never read past the copy page of stage 1. The same goes for DRG or DRR I only read the respective stage 1 and then skipped to the objectives. This literally applies to every mutlistages sub copy page I came across.
When I checked out the reviews in multistages sub thread there are always posts about jumping straight to stage 4 or aiming stage 4 as the goal. I never understood any of that mentality at all. But then I wondered if maybe I wasn’t that different when I jumped straight to HoM when I first came to SubClub. HoM may not be a four stage sub but it was/is an advanced sub and I without a foundation went head on to it. Yet deep down I knew I was overreaching and I knew I was taking my chances. But the thing about human is the more lacking or the more desperate one is the more willing they are to take a slim chance because they need a big change in small time. In this case maybe I got those posts. We wanted to reach the furthest distance in the shortest amount of time and/or targeted the most ground with the least amount of missiles launching.
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3m EoG1
Bored. Everything is meaningless. Saw the new thread of season 4 try as I might couldn’t muster up the interests nor excitement. In fact I began to feel tired of new updates. A new EoG custom with added anti-recon, another $50 gone; A new Ascension or Dragon Reborn RED that will be outdated in a while. The same goes for the new iPhone models. Another shiny thing that is already losing its shininess and will soon be outshined.
What goes up just come down. The moment it arrives is the moment it is gone.
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5m EoG1
Went out with family for a birthday celebration; booked a nice restaurant. During the meal photos were taken and as usual I was the one taking them. When I was standing in front of the table doing so, a young woman came next to me and asked if we’d like her taking the group photos for us and I said yes. After snapping a few shots I thanked her but she didn’t move away and asked me to check if the photos were satisfying, said she was happy to take more photos for us. I said they’re great and thanked her again. Didn’t think much of it.
Turned out she was sitting a few tables in front of ours with her family and/or friends. Her back was to my view but she turned her head around a few times and smiled at me and/or our table. Then sometime towards the end of the meal she went to the restroom and out while looking at me. I noticed she walked in with her hair in a bun and walked out with her long hair down. Later our families/groups left separately and that’s it.
If anything this whole thing makes me more sure of my goal and hence my 2nd sub or custom is focus on wealth. I doubt she would pay me the same attention were I not cleaned up and dressed smartly and be at that restaurant. She thought me a presentable middle class guy. Yet truth is such meal is a rare occasion. Truth is I was wearing the best shirt and trousers. Truth is since Covid I basically no longer went to barber shop and instead cut/shave my hair myself.
What’s the point to start something when you know how it goes along the way. Why waste time and disappointing others when you know right from the beginning you are not what they want.
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5m EoG1.
Finally reached 5m without much recon. Mood is quite stable if not a bit numb. Maybe it was me reading a post of Saint saying how many off forum users, who experience no recon and have great improvements in real life, see and use subs as a tool, I for now no longer feel subs as something superstitious. I mentioned this before: for a long time I saw subs as some kind of intangible amulet/chant/mantra that would grant me wishes and protection, that with it my life would be all smooth no trouble. It was irrational not only in the sense of not logical, it was irrational in the sense that I couldn’t help but feel/see it that way just like that. Even up to this day I still have this lingering feeling/belief. However these days I am more grounded. Partly because life is pretty uneventful (which is already a blessing), I no longer look for manifestations or serendipities etc. and instead just go on my day as usual with no mind paid on subs.
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Maybe it’s attention bias just randomly noted that the profile pic of many users here are the same/fixed these days. I remember when I first came to SubClub users, myself included, changed their profile pic after every certain period. We all pick/connect with a profile pic for a reason or instinct. The representation of fixed profile pic makes me think that, through a journey of subs (and real life experience of course), users are matured into their stable self or at least aware of their ideal self; the fixed pic reflects the fixed/ideal self in us and we are finally comfortable or solid/whole enough to be it.
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