Can you show your vulnerability to woman without losing attraction?

Questions and Comments
#43

In my opinion

It’s not that egocentrism comes from seeing our own pain first. It’s actually the reverse. Feeling our own pain first is one of the consequences of being organized egocentrically. And again, I want to stress, this is not an intrinsically “bad” thing.

Right. Left. Accelerate. Slow down. Stop.

These are the options when driving a car. And they are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. But depending on the time when you do them, they can lead to a car accident, they can lead to getting safely to your destination, or they can even lead to saving someone’s life.

Situational awareness. Discernment. The disciplined application of imagination.

These are what make the difference. Between the car accident and the safe journey. (and luck, of course.)

Humility is a good counterbalance to egocentrism.

Not the cure; the counterbalance. Because egocentrism is not a disease, it does not require a cure. But it can be excessive (just as it can also be deficient). Humility is one of the counterweights that balance egocentrism.

“What do I not know?”

“To what am I not paying attention?”

I’m not talking about dissolving into a puddle of self-doubt and weakness. I’m talking about being strong enough that you do not fear reviewing your limitations; confident enough that you do not fear learning a new idea or perspective.

(Shout-out to the Achilles Heel Q-store module.)

All it takes is effort. It’s not even always painful effort.

  1. Remember that your experiences are but one of many ongoing experiences that are happening at the same time

  2. In line with your capacity, take some time to explore what others are experiencing.

As with all learning, this will make us feel stupid sometimes. We may think, ‘I was such a genius before I started going to this damned school. Now all of a sudden I’m so stupid, I never should have come here.’ :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

But all of that is for the best. We’re not actually more stupid than we used to be. It just seems that way because our world is expanding.

That’s my opinion.

We’re already doing it.

Just need to not give up and keep going.

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#44

They will call you beta for saying this

#45

This is probably beyond the scope of what the op asked but I’m willing to write a genuine reply as I have a feeling you’re asking a genuine question. Sadly the net tends to make me a bit guarded at times.

I see where you’re coming from, but as I see it, it’s not a matter of being brave enough but being diligent enough or wise enough to use the knowledge I have learned (and still learning) through my own experiences.

Romantic relationships are exhilarating, it makes living much more colorful. I’m glad it’s always been a part of my life.

That said I also recognize based on my own journey, human nature and outside observations that completely removing my armor is not an idea I can be fully comfortable with, one reason is because the other person isn’t within my control, just myself.

Someone can change their mind at anytime, and I’ve seen that happen.

Like I’ve mentioned I’m a bit old fashioned and a sort of romantic at heart, I value something real and true, but actively showing my weaknesses and vulnerability isn’t congruent with what I expect from myself as the man I see I am or at least aim to be.

In my relationships I’m glad to provide the strength, experience and knowledge I have gathered over the years and I’ve seen it appreciated and reciprocated, but how can I continue to provide it when the wall that I am supposed to be has clear visible cracks that I openly show.

No one is perfect and can be 100 percent all the time, but there must still be the air of respect, attraction and mystique in a relationship to help its longevity and keep it exciting for years to come.

That said, I also accept the fact that some relationships may end, and I’d rather walk away whole in her and my eyes if it does happen.

If things go sideways, and it’s a relationship I value, yes I’ll be hurt and sure I’ll feel lonely for a time, but if I don’t leave something for myself, then I might not be able to stand even my own company.

In my estimation, I still think there’s not one right answer here.

What would make me happy in a relationship may not be not be for others, and vice versa and that’s ok and I respect that.

Life isn’t long, and finding a strong, genuine romance and affection from someone that accepts you for all your strengths and weaknesses come what may is priceless.

4 Likes
#46

Of course. I’ve done this myself in the past.

It’s a defense mechanism.

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#47

Whining is just repulsive for the two genders.

But infinite times more when a man does it.

You can try to label it as toxic, but this is reality. Men need to be strong, period.

Or do you think masculinity subs here are inducing us to become weak?

#48

What needs more strength?

Acting like the tough guy, never saying what’s on your heart, just shutting up and putting it all down.
Or truly opening op to your partner, regardless of the possible consequences?

4 Likes
#49

Calling men weak for expressing emotions is exactly why so many struggle in silence. Strength isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about owning them. Labeling emotions as ‘whining’ is nothing but fear of vulnerability. True power comes from confronting your emotions, not running from them.

The notion that men must always be tough and emotionless is not strength—it’s insecurity. Real strength is having the courage to be vulnerable, to face your struggles, and to grow. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the ultimate sign of strength.

5 Likes
#50

Both of you above didn’t read what I wrote.

Read my first post again.

#51

It’s exactly that, you can share your weaknesses but from a place of maturity not a place of asking for validation that’s mommy validation issues. Wanted is great for that! All of us have traumas but asking for validation is not attractive and people see you as weak because they’re insecure themselves. Also nobody is coming to save you so it’s kind of redundant to talk about your insecurities. You should just treat them as a personal thing to resolve them and journal about them to understand yourself. Also when you feel self love you don’t share so much of your insecurities you just accept yourself as the imperfect being you are. I would recommend making a seduction custom with chosen of Venus for self love and wanted. Also the only being that is able to accept you as who you are and love you unconditionally regardless is god so turn on god on your lowest moments not people

2 Likes
#52

A good book on vulnerability is Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Here is an excellent TED talk she gave several years ago on vulnerability. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

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#53

Just shared this with the man I wish would be more vulnerable

Thanks :blush:

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