Since this came up again, I’ll share some more thoughts on it.
I worked in the corrections field for a decade. People kept talking about how to successfully rehabilitate criminals. Many of whom are narcissists, psychopaths, etc.
what I learned from living face to face with them for eight to sixteen hours a day is that there is absolutely nothing you can do to rehabilitate an actual criminal. (That is a different thing from a person who has committed a crime)
Why? They don’t want to change. They don’t have a problem with how they are.
They don’t consider changing so that they live a more socially acceptable life to be success.
The only way for them to change their behavior is to make it so uncomfortable for them to continue behaving as they do that it’s worth the effort to change.
The same is true of narcissists.
They will only change if it HURTS to continue on as they are, and things like guilt or a conscience don’t cause them any pain like they do the rest of us.
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Like @COWolfe said, they don’t change unless it hurts
My father was or is a narc, he only started being a good father after my mom divorced him ande and my little brother stopped talking to him
Only then, when he lost everything he started to change, i don’t even know if the change is real or only an act
Actually, he still not a ‘good’ father, just less worst than he was, he doesn’t hurt us anymore but we also are no living with him so we can’t really say
Even after they divorced he refused to work on himself “there is nothing wrong with me, you are the one who needs therapy” because it was always the fault of everyone else and never his
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