Sub A - 3 loops.
In the early afternoon I had to go out to post some packages and buy a few things, and by necessity interacted with a few people. My state was still influenced by how I felt in the morning, although the negative aspects (like the anger) had mostly faded, and I felt strong and highly focused, like nothing outside me could affect me.
That state hasn’t changed at all today, I still feel that way. And it feels right, like I discarded some unnecessary bullshit.
I listened to all three loops back-to-back, starting at around 3pm today. The first two loops I listened to while working, whereas with the third loop I sat on the sofa and gave it some dedicated listening time.
1st loop - No change to mood at all, that feeling of strength and focus was impervious to whatever the sub was doing. It’s like track B went too deep, and track A was seemingly ineffective against it. Near the end of the loop I felt hot, especially in my head, with a mild headache, but no emotional change.
2nd loop - My head and face still felt hot, and I still had a light headache. By the end of the second loop my mood had lifted a little bit.
3rd loop - Since I was entirely focused on the sub for this loop, I fell into a deep altered state really quickly. There were two songs playing in my head, sometimes separately, sometimes intertwined. Various thoughts and images flashed through my mind. Throughout it all I still maintained that intense focus.
At the end of the loop I immediately put some music on, and it sounded beautiful. But, it was very different from Saturday when I played sub A for the first time. There was no euphoria, there were no pleasurable bodily sensations. My state was mostly still the same as before I started playing the sub, just a bit more positive. As soon as I finished listening I got up and did some cleaning and tidying up, barely giving it any thought.
Over the next couple of hours my mood lifted somewhat, and I found myself humming a few songs. And I still have that feeling of focus, it hasn’t faded one bit all day.
I’m actually looking forward to listening to sub B tomorrow. Even though I didn’t enjoy the experience yesterday, it seems to have had a deep impact on me, and I want to see what happens next with it.