I don’t know, I don’t waste my time worrying about such things.
I’m just me, whatever that is, and I’m comfortable with it. Other people can accept it or not. Either way it matters little to me.
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For me it’s not due to CWON, it’s how I was before. I find these kinds of questions:
to be quite disempowering. You’re attaching too much value to what other people think of you, the implication being that you value their opinion of you over your own. Why would you do that?
A different, and more important, question is how people react to me. Generally people behave in a friendly and respectful manner. That’s not new. Strangers generally don’t approach me for conversation. That’s not new either, and it’s not something I want. Mindless chit-chat with random strangers is the last thing I want. However, when I do engage someone in conversation they visibly light up and are very receptive, as though they’re grateful for my attention. There was some of that before CWON, I can be very charming when I want to, but with CWON it’s almost comically obvious, like I reached out and flicked a switch on their forehead. So CWON is useful for interacting with people. If you want to direct that towards being more likable or approachable or whatever, I’m sure you could do that.
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Running my last loop of IC this cycle.
It’s already delivered what I wanted, which was access to people with the personalities and skills I’m after. That club I mentioned is full of very experienced people who having been using these lands for hunting and fishing for decades, but also provides private facilities for outdoor and indoor rifle and pistol shooting ranges, bow and crossbow etc, as well as extensive hunting and fishing grounds (although I already have that). It’ll be months before I’m a full member with unrestricted access, but I’m already meeting people. I don’t know how many, if any, will become part of my circle, but even learning from these guys will be pretty awesome.
I think I’ll finish this cycle today, 2 days early, so I can start the new one the weekend. I’ll be rotating CWON out of my stack for now, so I’ll be wrapping up this journal soon.
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So I’m gonna wrap up this journal, as I’m starting a whole new stack on the weekend.
CWON certainly was an experience, and I’d encourage everyone to give it a try. For me the effects were probably different from most. I can understand if an urbanite has an almost mystical experience heading into the wild after running CWON. But for me, living surrounded by woodland, I’m used to having an almost constant connection with nature anyway, so I didn’t really have that kind of peak experience. But there were periods where that connection was much deeper and more emotional than usual, it was quite beautiful.
I very much want to run CWON + Sage Immortal one day when I can take some extended time off and just immerse myself in the experience. But sadly life has too many demands right now and I need to focus elsewhere for a while, I’ve delayed it for too long.
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