Bujin - Call of the Wild

Journals - Major Programs
#71

Lots of dreams again last night. The CWON + RM stack seems to intensify my dreams considerably.

In one from last night,

I was at some river in the wilderness with my brother-in-law. I had my rifle and we were going to do a bit of target shooting. I see a small float downriver and I sight it, but then see a person kayaking not far from it so I look around upstream and I see something weird on the ground. We go to investigate.

Getting closer, we see if it’s small chicken lying flat on the ground, half it’s body has been cut away and mutilated, but it’s still alive. Its eyes are milky white so it’s obviously blind. Next to the chicken is a mostly-eaten salmon. The chicken is quite fat but it’s voraciously feeding off the salmon, all it cares about it eating more and more.

It’s a grotesque sight, and my brother-in-law says the chicken is obviously suffering terrible and that he’s going to put it out of its misery, and starts beating it with a stick, which just causes the chicken to scream and suffer more.

I’m thinking the chicken symbolizes humanity. We’ve cut ourselves off from our natural selves, we poison ourselves with chemicals and waste, we hate and murder each other for idiotic reasons like politics and religion, we’re blind to anything that isn’t in our pinhole view of the world, and we’ve grown fat from relentless consumption of everything around us.

The salmon symbolizes abundance, prosperity and renewal and the natural cycles of nature - but it’s almost gone, consumed by zombie chicken humanity, who will just keeping eating more and more of it until there’s nothing left.

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#72

CWON on it’s own is rather passive and accepting, but stacking with RM seems to bring out more of an activist mindset, reflecting how I feel about the wholesale slaughter of our ecosystems for profit.

Perhaps this is the source of that anger I had from that first loop of RM.

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#73

More vivid dreams, and they tend to be particularly weird, which makes them difficult for me to interpret.

For example in one last night I was outside a department store, and there was a small pony in the parking lot. The letters of the store’s name on the outside of the building started floating up into the sky a few thousand feet, then came crashing down in the parking lot, and I was running around trying to save the pony from being crushed.

That could be symbolic of the effect corporations are having on our environment, or it could be something completely unrelated. My dream interpretation skills aren’t good enough, I guess. Maybe time to do some reading.

Emotions are pretty stable now. Not like when I was running CWON on its own, but stable enough.

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#74

@SaintSovereign Does either CWON or RM have equivalent scripting to Dream Traveler? The last time I had dreams anywhere near this vivid and seemingly relevant was when I ran a custom with Dream Traveler.

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#75

I’ve been having lots of vivid dreams since I started running CWoN as well but none of them was related to nature… I mean at least when it comes to those dreams I remember.

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#76

I’ve lost almost 8lbs in the 2 weeks since I started on CWON, with no change in diet. I’m now only 8lbs from my ideal weight. @SaintSovereign any ideas on why this is?

Hmm, could it be due to the Wanted private tests:

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#77

My libido has also been mysteriously increasing, I’ve woken up with morning wood a couple of times the last few days.

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#78

I haven’t had any moments of deep connection since I started stacking with RM. I feel more aggressive in general than when I was on CWON only.

#79

Well you are not alone :slight_smile: I also have that when I wake up, probably it is the wood :rofl::sweat_smile:

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#80

Only 2 more loops to go before wrapping up this cycle.

I’m still not really sure about the CWON + RM stack. I’m not getting the emotional swings from when I first added RM, but I haven’t really felt settled either. There are some things I really like, e.g. the intense dreams and the more active mindset compared to CWON alone. But I feel I lost the main benefits of CWON.

I’m planning one more cycle of CWON before I rotate it out. So the question is, should I run it solo or should I stack? And if so, with what? I have about a week to decide.

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#81

What do you consider to be your ‘avenues of manifestation’ for RM? (Unless that’s personal.)

For CWON, your pathways are numerous and obvious.

What about for RM? Are you involved in hobbies or creative projects? Are you dipping into, working with, or synthesizing a variety of intellectual, cultural, or expressive domains?

What do you think of RM in general?

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#82

Mostly my work, we’re undergoing an aggressive firm-wide transformation with our technology, so there’s a significant creative element. Also a lot of my hobbies involve making or modifying things, so there’s a creative element there too. Thing is, it feels like I’m shifting in a different direction, and I’m not certain I want to go there. Yet.

I originally considered RM because of Saint’s suggestion:

So this could help with my work. But I’ve also mentioned I don’t find my career fulfilling anymore. Maybe this is where the dissonance comes from. My other creative pursuits aren’t really suitable for generating wealth - at least this is what I’ve convinced myself, so maybe there’s some conflict from that too.

Hopefully the washout will bring some clarity.

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#83

I need this sub, for sure.

Because THIS is the key. No judgment. Not even of situation. Go with life and enjoy the ride.

Is that how you can sum up this sub?

Lovely.

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#84

Hmm, I think it’s more about connection, and lack of judgement is a consequence of that. Judgement is just a way of separating ourselves from what we’ve decided we don’t like, it lets us delude ourselves that we’re somehow different. Once that connection is there you can’t really do that anymore.

Unfortunately when I stacked RM I lost that feeling of connection, even to the nature that surrounds me. It’s given me more of an activist mindset, which obviously requires judgement. :man_shrugging:

It surprises me sometimes how complex these sub interactions can be.

For the next cycle I might try stacking CWON with Sage immortal instead.

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#85

Thanks for sharing parts of your journey.

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#86

Posted this in Saint’s journal:

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#87

Friday and today I just ran 1 loop of CWON, no RM. The difference was immediately noticeable, I’m more open and accepting that when stacking with RM.

That completes this cycle. Now 5 days washout, and from Saturday I’ll most likely run CWON + Sage Immortal.

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#88

CWON + Inner Circle could also be an interesting combination for me.

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#89

I’m actually liking this idea the more I think about it. I generally dislike and avoid most people these days, but finding nature-oriented people that I can connect with on occasion would be nice. Not the superficial outdoorsy weekend hike types, but more the off-grid/homesteading types that live and breathe this lifestyle.

There are a lot of militant, right-wing people in that space though, and I have no interest in connecting with them. Or anyone who is politically or religiously motivated - I despise both, irrespective of their beliefs. Sometimes I wonder why I moved to this country, given most of the population define themselves by both of those. :roll_eyes:

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#90

I normally guard my privacy, but CWON solo is making me more open. I’m feeling that beautiful sense of connection to my environment again, and it’s almost making me want to weep. So here’s a pic of what I see when I look out my living room window, featuring my resident swan.

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