Building a solid Base

  1. Oktober
    Weight: 114,8kg

Finally some weight down again.
Got to sleep late yesterday, because we watched a Bollywood film. Slept till 7:30.

Buying groceries and bringing my aunt to the airport was much more time intensive then I thought. Barely managed to read the Nuevo Vesper book and the corresponding thread.
If @Vesper is right with his interpretation, then Nuevo RICH might be the perfect sub to build my coaching business (new money) and to disrupt the porn market.

In the evening I met an old friend from school I didn’t see in 8 years. Was very nice to catch up. Looks like I’m not the only one with a Life full of twists and turns. Many of my former friends have broken biographies. And only one really made it. He’s Chief Information Security Officer at the Deutsche Bahn, the German Railway.

Job-wise, I heard back from my first application. They wanna have a zoom-call next week.
Taxi-driving is back in the game. I heard, that three companies are locking for drivers. On the downside, I have to pay the medical checkup and a lot of other stuff from my own pocket. That would be around 400-500€. So half a month of work for just getting a job I don’t know I will like.

Only completed two of my goals today. So most will stay.
Here are my to-dos for tomorrow

  • make the last payment to the debt collector for Germanys propaganda blackmail which I’m unwilling to pay. I need to open a letter from him, what I’m unwilling to do.

  • Open a letter from the chamber of commerce

  • Open a new question-thread about which third sub to best add to my stack to reach my goal

  • Writing another application for a job in production

  • Continue my offline Journal

2 Likes

Are you building a romance/dating coaching business?

I just cannot believe that they pay as little in Germany. I would get 800€ a month when working as a hotel entertainer in Spain seven years ago (the food and accommodation was for “free”). I will be getting 1000-1400€ a month (working 120-150 hours a month) for working as an English teacher in Hanoi yet the cost of living are way lower than in Germany. Have you ever thought of working abroad?

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I’m looking for a part time job only. 20h/week, 4 weeks a month, 12€/hour. Makes about 960€ for a month. After taxes it’s about 820€.

And for working abroad, I have my family here, and are the one responsible for my grandma.

I’m looking only for a part time job to be able to build my business.

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That could later be part of, but the main topic is porn addiction. Since many real porn addicts never had a relationship, that might become necessary as well.

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I see not sure if Nouveau Wealth will help reach the big wealth in that niche. Like it help with wealth for that offer but I don’t know how big you can scale it. Might want to broaden it further down the line (One of the guys I use to know had that exact same coaching offer). Like making that offer part of a dating, social skills, etc offer. You’d be able to target more clients which will mean you will have more customers which will generate more wealth.

Either way WB + Nouveau RICH. Would be the perfect combo for this or True Sell + Nouveau RICH.

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07.Oktober
Weight: 115,3

Forgot to set up an alarm and slept for 10 hours straight. Didn’t happen in ages.
Listend to LBfH while writing my last post and could.t sleep afterwards. Interestingly, Emperor makes me sleepy, LBfH acts like coffeine.
Weight went up a little, but I don’t care atm. I know that I kept my diet and that’s the important thing. Funny thing though, when I got of the scale in the morning, my knee started to hurt real badly. Especially when I’m taking the stairs. And there are three between my Bedroom and my office.

Opened the letters. Payed the last rate (that went up 50 Bucks from the last time (handling fee)). Continued my Offline Journal. Still reflecting on my Questions thread. On the one hand, I need to understand better what I want to accomplish, on the other hand what is most urgent and needs to be done as fast as possible.

So tomorrow its

  • answering the letter from the debt-collector to ask if there is anything else
  • answering the letter from the chamber of commerce
  • continue my offline journal → create a Question post, if I know what to ask
  • start writing an application for the production job
  • caring for my knee
  1. Oktober
    weight: 114,6

Forgot to set an alarm and slept till 9:30.
That’s totally unusual for me. Normally I wake up everyday between 5 and 7:30 when nature is calling. But on Friday night, I said to my body “I forbid you to wake me with pressure on my bladder”. And I didn’t wake up since then.

My knee is pretty well again. It started with some pain, but it got better over the day and expect it to be gone tomorrow.

I realized, that I accept my responsibilities in live. After I paid the debt collector and my Coaching Instructor yesterday, I got a mail from a coach I had one session last year, that was supposed to help some internal blockade but did absolutely nothing. Last year, I wasn’t willing to pay because there were so many liabilities and I didn’t even know, how to pay for food sometimes. Today, I don’t know how to pay all my debts, but I feel the need, to start paying off, even if it’s just in little steps.

It’s Sunday, so I took more or less of today, enjoying my day. Some would say wasted my day, but that will get better as well. I completed two tasks from my list, and tomorrow, I’ll take care of the rest.

Btw, while answering the letter from the chamber of commerce, I found out, that I don’t need to pay any fee as long as I don’t make at least 15k/year. That’s a relief, because in my former state, the annual fee would be about 200€/year.

So tomorrow it is

  • continue my offline journal → create a Question post, if I know what to ask
  • start writing an application for the production job
  • contacting the job-center for some consulting
  • Contacting my business coach about ending my coaching and paying
    → this one will probably stay in the task pool for a bit, 'cause I’m a bit anxious about it
  1. Oktober
    Weight: 115.2 kg

Enjoying my first day of my first 5 day break. Let the blooming begin.

Answered my first reply for a job interview. We’ll have a video-call this week. Excited.

Started my application for the production job.
The job in production is only 5 minutes away. Might be interesting as well.

I need a job asap to feed the sharks. And to be able to live a little.

Day went by super fast.

Thinking about working in the night instead of watching TV with my fiance. I like watching TV with her in my arms, but working on my business or even just journaling seems more satisfying or rewarding. Could be a bad conscience because I’m not as productive as I’d like to be during the day.

Venting about my fiance
I love her, but I'm a bit overstrained with her situation
Just realized it could be recon

I’m really annoyed by my fiance atm. I love her. No questions asked. But sometimes its just… I know she’s depressed and I want to help her as good as I can. But all this negativity. I don’t know if it’s the subs (LBfH+UWX) working. But she’s complaining about not having any money and being unable to pay her debts. When I propose applying for a local job in sales or cleaning or anything else she gets aggressive. She only wants her dream job (Copywriting → UWX). Until then she’s unwilling to apply for anything else and wallowing in desperation because she doesn’t know how to pay for anything. Frustrating.

I’m annoyed with myself as well. I don’t know how the days can go by so fast. I don’t waste that much time, but still the day is over. One more reason why I’d want LE as third sub. Getting shit done.

Found another Letter from the Jobcenter in my families kitchen. They want money back. Though I didn’t even get a dime from them. Letter was from Juli. Didn’t care afterwards.
→ My fiance got the same letter and paid it already. So it’s dealt with.

So tomorrow it is

  • continue my offline journal → create a Question post, if I know what to ask
  • completing the application for the production job
  • contacting the job-center for some consulting
  • Contacting my business coach about ending my coaching and paying
    → this one will probably stay in the task pool for a bit, 'cause I’m a bit anxious about it

Just found this answer from @Luther24

That’s what I’m experiencing more and more. A mere couple of weeks ago, I was frightend when I thought about taking action, getting a job. Now its what I know I just MUST do.
Because I have goals and I want to fullfil them.
I just realized, that in the past I wanted big accomplishments right now. But since this didn’t happen, I wasn’t willing to take the small steps necessary to achieve my them. That seems to have changed since I started my SC journey.
Let the blooming begin

  1. Oktober
    Weight: 114.7kg

Today was a day of family service. I didn’t do much for my goals but for family cohesion. Made a swiss role, helped gardening the whole afternoon and did the dishes for the whole family. Atm it’s very important to show my family support as they’re supporting me and my fiance and she’s quite antisocial due to her depression.

Although the morning was rather unproductive again. I think I need to make a serious schedule for my mornings so i don’t waste it until it’s noon.

I had a job interview today. Went pretty well, but its only a mini-job (maxed at 520€) and only for a project until mid December or march if it gets extended.
But HEY. It was my first Interview ever and it went fantastic.

Had another pretty interesting internal observation but forgot about it. will edit it in later if I remember,

So tomorrow it is

  • continue my offline journal → create a Question post, if I know what to ask
  • completing the application for the production job
  • contacting the job-center for some consulting
  • Contacting my business coach about ending my coaching and paying
    → this one will probably stay in the task pool for a bit, 'cause I’m a bit anxious about it
  • contacting the coach I had one session with and clarify the payment modalities
  1. Oktober
    Weight: 114.9kg

Weight is stagnating. That isn’t to annoying. But what is, is that my scale isn’t working properly. After weighing myself, I cared for my grandma, drank a glas of water, took a serious shit, weighed myself again. And I gained 1.2 kg. I weighing myself always three times for accuracy. And this time I gained weight. That’s way more than I drank.

Today I realized, that I’m spending much more time on my own doing my shit than with my fiance as I did in the past. Most of the time since I’m in a relationship we’ve spent most of our free time together. Even I felt a bit clingy. But now that’s gone.

I continued my offline Journal this morning and it was real good. I think I will continue this practice for the future.

Thoughts about a possible third sub

I see three possible routes for me. 1. A wealth sub 2. Starting my business for real 3. Healing

Wealth

N.Rich seems to be the most appropriate for my business and it would be not just wealth but a business sub

My Business - I see quite some possibilities.
  1. LE - Because I need to learn a lot new stuff and need the drive of an executive
  2. Mogul - Good title for building a solid financial base
  3. AM - Alpha traits seem a nice addition to Mogul
  4. GLM - Masculinity… building a business needs a true man
  5. Genesis - Defining my calling even more and getting the drive to live it
Healing

I considered DR:LD to destroy what limits my execution of my plans, but I’m dropping this path.

Besides continuing my offline journal and my job application, I procrastinated pretty much.
I did get more work done yesterday and that despite me helping gardening for hours.

Asking myself if this is recon in the 5 break days.

  1. Oktober
    Weight: 115,2

Today went by rather quick again. I spent a lot of time in here, writing a big post on addiction. Also a question about my fiances depression.

Continued my application. But it’s a chewy process.

Got a call from said coach that wants her money. Didn’t take it. Felt uncomfortable.

Pretty Sure now, that my third sub will be NRICH. Will probably buy Sanguine for the fiance.

Procrastination was omnipresent.

Saturday will be first listening day of the second cycle. Excited

  1. Oktober
    Weight: 115,3kg

Had an erotic dream tonight and was horny af when I woke up. This feeling lingered for quite some time. I took it as a hint, that my subconscious is ready to take the next step to get rid of my porn-addiction (which was absolutely silent for the last 5 weeks)

Did some more research on depression in here, what others wrote, what helped them, how they handled it etc. I narrowed it down to Sanguine, or Sanguine: The Elixir.
Handed the product copy of both to my fiance and she chose SE. So let’s see how it’s going.

When I was hiking with her, I received the message that Saint closed my thread because she needs professional help and not subs. At first I was angry because I know that and can’t change that we have waiting lists for another 3 years. On the other hand, I understand that he needs to protect his company and whatever negative consequences would follow could hurt SCs reputation. When I realized that it doesn’t matter, because I got already what I wanted, I felt calm again.

In the evening we took another look at my addiction and did some shadow work. It was all about my shame and being afraid of telling her if I should relapse again.
That’s how I pictured him in the process


It was a good feeling. We reduced the fear from a 12 to a 0,8, so almost none existent anymore.

Afterwards we did what seemed necessary for a couple of weeks. An energetic clearing of our relationship. And it revealed that some energetic points (don’t know how to call it in English) were blocked. Let’s see, how our relationship evolves after that. She looked happier then in a long time afterwards. Might be the process or SE. Don’ t know. We will see.

My fiance was my number one priority today and I did everything I could, so despite being able to check of one point from my to-do-list, this day was a full success.

  1. October
    Weight: 115,0kg

You know these days when you wished to find this button on the earth labeld “implode” or “self-destruction”? Today is such a day.

  1. October
    Weight: 114,2 kg

Weight got down again finally.

Things got better again today. First day listening to emperor after processing days.

Will write more again tomorrow, must get up at 5am to fetch my aunt from the airport.

18.October

Weight:???

The last couple of days went by in a haze. Some drama in my family and I was right in the middle. Now the dust has settled a bit and I can start breathing again.

I called the job- center, will have a counseling next week.

Finished my application. Will proof read it tomorrow and then send it out.

Yesterday I started to work on my subconscious to get my weight-loss going again. Killed some major believes about me being unable to loose weight. While integrating one certain believe I had glimpses (probably) of a past live (Greek setting) , where I was lying on the floor, getting kicked by muscular guys, telling me I’m unworthy to be slim. Felt a deep sadness. Now, that’s gone.

Listened to LBfH yesterday for 10 minutes and 23 seconds of SE. I know, that’s against recommendation and experimental, but as with most things I do, I used kinesiological testing beforehand to check if my subconscious approves. And it did, so I did it anyway.

I never felt serious recon until now. Irritation in the first week of emperor and tiredness at the beginning, but that vanished pretty quickly. I’m sleeping more than before though. Sometimes 9h a day. But that’s just my system processing the subs and not recon I think.

Tomorrow, I plan to go though the subs sales copy and make a list of goals, what I want to accomplish with the subs while listening to them.

And I bought NRICH, together with SE. Now with three subs, it’s only every 5th day, so tomorrow is my second session. I’m exited.

Just discovered something that might be recon (probably is).
Questioning the results of the subs despite them being obvious. At least with emperor, LBfH not so much.
And questioning my relationship. I damaged her trust in me very deeply with my last porn relapse and lying to her about it. A part of me is afraid that it’s damaged beyond repair. Then any further work on the relationship would be in vain. Makes me sad.
Probably just recon, but it fucks with my mind big time.

18.October

Weight:???

The last couple of days went by in a haze. Some drama in my family and I was right in the middle. Now the dust has settled a bit and I can start breathing again.

I called the job- center, will have a counseling next week.

Finished my application. Will proof read it tomorrow and then send it out.

Yesterday I started to work on my subconscious to get my weight-loss going again. Killed some major believes about me being unable to loose weight. While integrating one certain believe I had glimpses (probably) of a past live (Greek setting) , where I was lying on the floor, getting kicked by muscular guys, telling me I’m unworthy to be slim. Felt a deep sadness. Now, that’s gone.

Listened to LBfH yesterday for 10 minutes and 23 seconds of SE. I know, that’s against recommendation and experimental, but as with most things I do, I used kinesiological testing beforehand to check if my subconscious approves. And it did, so I did it anyway.

I never felt serious recon until now. Irritation in the first week of emperor and tiredness at the beginning, but that vanished pretty quickly. I’m sleeping more than before though. Sometimes 9h a day. But that’s just my system processing the subs and not recon I think.

Tomorrow, I plan to go though the subs sales copy and make a list of goals, what I want to accomplish with the subs while listening to them.

And I bought NRICH, together with SE. Now with three subs, it’s only every 5th day, so tomorrow is my second session. I’m exited.

Could have sworn I posted an update yesterday, but it’s not on my laptop, not on my phone, not in the drafts and not in here.

Whatever.

I experienced recon yesterday. Of the more upsetting nature. I doubted my relationship. I wasn’t sure if it was recon. I was also doubting the effects of the subs, which are undoubtedly there. That was definitely storybook recon.

Later, after my post that I can’t find, I had a conversation with my fiance about what made me doubt our relationship. It was her trust in me, that I damaged with hiding my porn-addiction relapse from her. We came to an agreement to work on both sides to establish that trust again.

I had a pink noise running tonight. Strange Dreams. I even dreamed about our conversation. Later that dream made me realize, that even doubting my relationship was probably from emperor, because I took lead and faced the unconvenient truth about my relationship and that I took on responsibility for making everything alright again.