only issue is the vaccine fucking passport
since i wont get the vaccine and where i live they require vaccine passports
but if i won and they gonna let me play a set at the festival . im sure ill find my way to get around this : ) muahwhawhha
wow man if i play their, ill play some good ass techno damnnnnnnnnnnnnn
yesterday when i played my playlist i couldnt sleep for an hour
the whole loop of Limit destroyer was due
and i havent gone into sleep
but i somehow found my way into sleep
i had lots of dreams. yesterday
comfort means = Death
when youre dead youre comfortable
You have wings to fly with, why are you walking?
its okay i know that im facing the fear of the unkown and breaking my own comfort but im shinning the light of awareness at it. its gonna be uncomfortable for a while. tighten your seat belt
4 days since i started the new pattern
things are okay
no clear signs of overload or any recon.
however im needing now 9 hours of sleep, even if i sleep early like 10pm
once i woke up today i felt like i wanna sleep more, but i think its just a normal thing not related or anything
and super vivid dreams, and i think i almost had a wet dream, but i woke up without an explosion
also dreamt about my old friends that i used to hang out with, super lovely friends
i hope them the best 
also i figured how recon manifest into my life
sometimes its anger and getting frustrated but thats really rare
the most common thing
is when it comes to my purpose, music doesn’t feel emotional when recon manifests
i start to question my purpose which is music, and question why am i not getting emotional from some tracks that i really like
thats i think is how it is with me
but other than that, i barely face any discomfort, its sometimes just like saint says, its more of a cycle sometimes this fear of losing my purpose comes and goes, nothing stays
gonna test for the next week
to see how the new pattern fits me, if it feels right then im gonna keep it
learned something really great and im implementing it everyday
do what makes you uncomfortable so you can break the comfort zone
so sometimes i dont want to wash the dishes, whenever this feeling comes through i break it and do the opposite which is washing the dishes
i feel like i wanna touch my phone, i simply dont touch it
stay in the uncomfortable so youre no more afraid of the unkown and the unregular to you
its very helpful, like cleaning my cats litter makes me so lazy and i dont want to do it, and ill just do it right away
what this makes this a hidden gem in my opinion:
1- youre training and disciplining yourself on doing what doesnt feel comfortable,
which is the right thing to day living means going through stuff and experiencing it and spreading your wings to the limitless skies
2- get things done
3- subliminal results will be better. cuz youre doing some proper actiong 
also i feel emperor’s influence maybe ? that im more determined and im doing this no matter what?
hmm who knows could be and could not be
i noticed something while i was getting some vitamin D from the sun
i took all of my clothes except for my boxer
and i was getting some sunlight on me, (which is something i love)
however i felt something on my body which was a bee, or a bug that has a shape like a bee with a stinger on her but
the interesting thing is ,. that bees scare the hell out of me and usually when they land on me i run like a champ
but this time i was so calm and didnt even flinch, i just moved away and she flew away from me
but the most scary bug to me is the hornet
if i see those guys i run like usian bolt hahaha
but lets see if i encounter them one day and how it feels
In my experience that’s RM. What is your ratio Stark:RM?
oh hey,
ive ditched stark 2 months ago, but sadly i cant change the title anymore
ive moved to emperor + QLST2 + LDU
will add RM later next month in my stack, once i see more of Emperor’s effect more and more cause its the most important to me
can you please change the title of my Journal to
"Limit Destroyer Uv2 + EmperorQ + QL Journal "
i still havent submitted the mix to the festival i wanna play at
perfectionism and having a scope on my mixing mistakes is kinda killing me
Have you submitted a support ticket about this?
No I thought its not worth mentioning and opening a support ticket
Still not sure if its sub related or its just a nutrition thing
first week went just fine and normal
today is my 21 birthday, a new age a new light
i felt some frustration today, some anger but i kept it inside, i dont want to lash out on my mother cause of recon thats stupid
so whenever i feel discomfort or frustrated ill return to the present moment
and that solves it 
cant wait for super good results to unfold in my life to more grateful
for some reason im sensing changes but no sure like i cannot point out anything but i sense some stuff
you know when you feel something is slowly off and weird and new? its like theres something new slowly creeping on me and i quite dont know what it is
i just feel something
its weird
maybe a small sense of motivation? idk something feels off, but its a good thing
maybe later ill know what it is
im kinda scared to admit
that theres a part of me that wants to give up for the vaccine passport tyranny where i live and get jabbed
what the fuck…
is that a higher perception ?from subs? that in life you have to give up some of your freedom to live a good life?
but i refuse to get this stupid jab, why am i okay with thinking about it ?
im a bit shocked,
it feels like i got a bit loose and theres a part of that wants to give up
thats weird,
but i still take my stand, you have to fight for you freedom
slept for 6 hours, and i feel like im ready for the day
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats intreseting
lots of dreams though. some bioshock 2 monster was chasing me in a mansion
i dont the remember the rest, but bunch of weird stuff
so its a good sign that subs are just fine
yesterday i turned 21
and also completed 2 months of emperor cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers
more to come
i will never leave emperor, things are slowly creeping
im still not sure whats happening
but i know its good things
Happy birthday budewr!!! What did you do?