Yeah, I could write a book, and I normally do. Just a summary. (not my norm so I ask for some grace
) I’ll try to keep my focus on recent gains.
I’m on DR, running all 4 stages for a year. The objectives speak of confidence, ambition, losing fear, and releasing old hangups. This morning I actually came to write to admit knowing I’m in a new spot, and feeling scared and unsure what I’m supposed to do.
That is evidence of growth from using DR. 99% of my life I’ve just followed the fear and kept my mouth shut, often submitting to others’ desires and examples to avoid rejection. That long-held fear of rejection is being battled at its roots, and I find it ultimately freeing to share who I am here more and more.
I am sensing that breaking away from fearing rejection by men, which has been with me since childhood. I experienced a physical abandonment by my brother, my main caretaker, and I’ve been dancing around almost 40 years, fearing it again with all other males as I’ve gotten close to them. My easiest and most common reaction? I pull away. I’ve abandoned countless good men in my years.
Lots of fear has been torn down gracefully on DR Stage 1. I’ll start Stage 2 in over a week, and that stage says it’ll heal every wound I’ve ever experienced and make future wounds less traumatic for me!
My summary of gains:
Hope felt, often during down times
Increasing joy and daily laughter
Freedom from daily and lifelong fears
Increasing ambition!
Feeling more and more like an adult male than a little boy
Feeling more comfortable in my body
Feeling more willing to be who I am in the moment
Feeling less held back by lifelong fears
Realizing that life doesn’t have to be so “hard”
Being willing to give up the fronts and masks more (since those make life hard)
I’m feeling more comfortable being me.
And since I’m only in Stage 1, I expect more major changes and transitions to happen. I have many more chapters of life to discover and share. Thank you for asking.