Bjays - Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1

I’ve been using SubClub since August 21 now and it’s about time I finally started a journal. I have been avoiding it for a long time.

My current stack is Ascension, Spartan and Sanguin.

I’m currently doing the 75Hard program by Andy Frisella and I think that’s the perfect stack for it.

I use the program primarily to change my habits and build momentum.

I have been addicted to pornography for more than 20 years now. It has taken me to a very dark place. And I’m just not into it anymore. I have already tried so many things. Especially the last 6-8 months I was depressed, lethargic and I just had no desire and no drive to continue my life like this.

I am now on day eight of my second cycle. And I have to say that the results so far are just outstanding. It’s mainly thought processes that have changed. That’s why the journal now.

I haven’t looked at porn for 20 days now and it feels like I never have. The craving for it is also completely gone.

When I think about what porn is, I’m not surprised either. I think that’s where Ascension has its fingers in the pie.
I mean you watch a strange man having sex with a woman you like visually. That just doesn’t fit a self-confident man.

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#2

What i noticed on my daily walks, i try to walk with good posture. Open up my chest. I am a tall guy and build a good amount of muscles. People coming towards me often look at the ground and avoid eye contact.

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#3

For most of my life i was really skinny.
And people used to tell me.
I could eat a lot and I didn’t gain weight. With spartan, I started recording my eating habits. At first it was hard, but now I am hungry all the time.

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#4

75Hard Day 25 completed

Today I had very low energy. Slept very badly. It was a very superficial sleep. Followed by very strange dreams. Then I woke up again and again.

Sometimes I feel disconnected from nature, the people around me, and even myself. As if my body is just an empty shell that creeps through the vastness of our world.

My training was still pretty good. My mind muscle connection is significantly improved. Especially in the chest area. In the past I always had problems to hit them properly.

Took a cold shower to get out of my head.

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#5

I have to say, if I felt the way like today in the past, I would have 100% watched porn to feel better.

But not today satan, not today.

#6

So I want to post a little update. I need to get more into the routine of doing this more regularly. I got myself a little notebook to write things down throughout the day.

The workouts with Spartan are brilliant. I like that “one more rep” mentality. Today my workout partner was back after an injury. And he was constantly complaining about how hard it all is. It was a bit annoying at times. However, I can see myself in it a bit. But Spartan still gets the last percent out of it.

Regeneration is also top. No muscle soreness although I can hit the muscle better and also increase the weight constantly.

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#7

Yeah, another Spartan guy, cheers.

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#8

I slept quite badly. The strange dreams come more often. Normally I can’t really remember dreams. I think this is a good sign.

Recon hits hard today. Felt quite down and had brain fog.

Nevertheless, waves of euphoria ran through my body at times. The combination of feeling down and euphoria at the same time was somewhat confusing but also pleasant. These are probably effects of sanguine

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#9

Nice, have you been able to get results yet?

#10

Try camomile tea before going to bed.

#11

Yes, I have. I have listened so far only three times, but oh boy my willingness to work out is almost doubled. My pace of gaining muscles is incredible. I have never seen anything like this before.
I also listen to Paragon.

#12

What is the effect of chamomile tea?

And it will get even better. I am at the end of my second cycle and the muscles I have built up are very visible.
I always thought of myself as a hardgainer before that. Now I am only a gainer :smiley:

#13

My REM phase of sleeping is somewhat better, so sleep is better overall.

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#14

Sounds good. I will definitely try it. Thank you

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#15

How is the Ascension working for you?

#17

It is a very pleasant sub to run. Most of the effects were rather internal. Sometimes I get very wise thoughts where I thought “now where did that come from” afterwards.
Since I didn’t have a journal at the time, I often forgot things again.

A few external results.

  • I say my opinion, even if you do not fit the norm.
  • I speak out for myself more often
    -I don’t let emotions control me so much anymore.
  • People laugh more at things I say. ( in a funny way not disrespectful. )
    -I notice more and more where my insecurities lie. But instead of feeling bad, I think, ok let me deal with the problem. (This could also be due to Sanguin)

Translated with DeepL Translate: The world's most accurate translator (free version)

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#18

I love it, thanks for sharing.

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#19

My head has been in a dark place for the last few days. I fell back into old habits. Have led the journal offline, but had inhibitions to post it here.
But I want to change that in the future. Exactly for such a thing the forum is there.

Have already noticed that I compare myself too often with others and their results.

At the moment I am in the second day of my washout. Currently thinking about how to continue after that.

#20

Washout day 1 - 15.06.22

  • Did not get out of bed.
  • My head feels heavy
  • Took booster to push me a bit. I noticed that caffeine often helps me against Recon.
  • During work a hot discussion broke out about Russia and Ukraine. I stayed out of it for the most part. It was different in the past. I would have gone all in. But in the meantime I don’t feel like having pointless discussions anymore. That only robs my energy.
  • Was once again in the solarium. Do something against the Tshirt imprint.
  • Because of the holiday tomorrow, I have done my push training one day ahead.
  • My diet was not good the last few days. Have stopped tracking and thus the inhibitions are not so big to eat shit
  • had to get money from the bank and am walking instead of driving the car
#21

Although I still weigh the same, my muscle definition has gotten better. Will post some pictures later.

1 Like