Better and Better: Alexander's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#106

I’ve switched to Ultimate Artist as was my plan.

The stack now is ideally going to be Ultimate Artist 5x, Regeneration 2x, and Limitless 1x.
I will be listening to Beyond Limitless 2x a day and Dreams at night when it’s released.

I began listening when UA was released, listened all through the night and most of the day. I’m unsure how many loops I’ve gotten in.

First Listen Report:

I’ve started to appreciate my worth as an artist.

I spent a good 4 hours editing in Photoshop last night while listening to UA.

I was completely in the zone as I edited. I realized that I have a legitimate skill set and that what I’m doing a lot of people can’t or won’t do.

That alone makes my time valuable.

I’ve had this thought before, and acted on it, but it always felt like an active effort to maintain this belief. Now it feels effortless.

I also realized that in addition to photography theres nothing stopping me from branching out.

For example, I could learn graphic design. This is an extremely valuable skill for many corporations. Spending a few hours teaching myself how to do this could net me a much better job. Theres also real estate photography, photography for businesses, various forms of videography. I’ve also thought of just walking into businesses and offering my services. I didn’t have this thought or the balls to do this before I started listening.

I’ve also begun to develop my social media strategy. I wasn’t posting consistently to social media because I had some anxiety about how my pictures looked. My edits are not where I want them to be, but I no longer feel that anxiety with posting. So now I plan to post consistently (essential for social media) and develop all other facets of my brand.

There was a creative project I wanted to collaborate on someone with and they gave me a tentative yes then vanished 2 months ago. They sent me a message today saying they’d be really interested in working on the project.
Then I asked someone else for the same thing and also received a positive response.
My schedule cleared up so I could work with someone on Monday as well.
Another person I wanted to collaborate with through Instagram never liked or seemed to notice when I posted. I got a positive response from them with my last post.

It seems like a lot has happened very quickly, but trust, I laid much of the groundwork months ago for this. It seems Ultimate Artist is just pushing me forward a bit more.

3 Likes
#107

I had my first dream that I could remember on DREAMS.

I woke up on the grass somewhere inside my old middle school. I felt immense amounts of anger, shame and embarassment.

What was different is that I wasn’t 12 anymore. I was walking the halls and had old classmates staring at me because at my current age I’m an authority figure.

It seemed to settle something within me.

What’s interesting is that I’ve never consciously experienced any anger towards my middle school life. If it wasn’t for the dream I wouldn’t have realized I still harbor negative feelings towards that place.

4 Likes
#108

DREAMS is something else.

I believe my unconscious is very happy to have an outlet to provide healing for me. I sleep better and I feel more relaxed and purposeful during the day.

I feel like I’m coming back to myself.

My second dream worked on some more negativity.

I was photographing The World Cup and during what should have been the game winning shot I took a picture with flash and blinded the shooter, causing the UK to lose. I became hated all across the country and had to get a disguise, and became a white man. I entered a pub in my disguise and someone recognized me by my hair being nappy. Then an angry mob chased me down the street.

I began following these black kids who were also running for some reason, but I noticed where they were going and it was a fence with no exit. So instead I veered to the right to the exit. As I ran I felt fear vividly and thought that I was going to be killed so I called out to god to save me and I woke up.

I’m noticing a lot of race based healing.

In my unconscious I have the belief that success = being white.

That as much as I can align myself with white culture, the more successful I’ll be. The less trouble I’ll get into.

When I ran with the other black kids I felt free, even though the mob was chasing me. When I tried to make my own way out of the hate, the anxiety returned.

I’m curious what would have happened if I just ran with the black kids. We could have climbed the fence. It would have been a bit more difficult, but at least I wouldn’t have done it alone. Beyond the fence was an area that definitely wasn’t part of the city. In the way that dreams work where you can open a door and be in another country, I believe that the fence was a barrier to a new land.

6 Likes
#110

I lived next to a KKK town for all of my high school and middle school years. That seems to have influenced a lot of the students around my school. I would be called a N*****r a few times a week, at least.

In addition, my parents were African and the dream of many Africans is to come to America. This translated into seeing white people as better than their African culture.

6 Likes
#111

I have this anxiety too with being Indian, a part of me hates it so much and wishes desperately that I was white, I’m slowly accepting it but it’s gonna take some time

1 Like
#112

What??? Seriously??? You have anxiety for being Indian ???

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#113

Yes coz we r third world shitty people and there r a huge load of negative stereotypes and just in general we r looked down upon, even though I have never faced any real problem tbh coz of this I’m still always low key anxious that I’ll never be treated like a white person or I’ll never be as good looking as a white person no matter how much I improve my looks just coz of the colour of my skin

1 Like
#114

Be proud of the colour of your skin! Here in Germany, we are trying to tan all summer long just to get such a beautiful colour as you have

4 Likes
#115

I’m feeling sorry for you. You need to be confident under your skin. Forget all subliminals, first concentrate only and only on confidence. I had lived in USA, Costa Rica. But bro, I never ever felt any less of a man. I always felt equal to them, infact better. We are more intelligent, spiritual than any other culture. We have such a rich culture. We practically invented the concept of subliminal, heard of mantra Jap.Be proud of who you are, or else no one will respect you. Clear this emotion or else no girl will like to be with you. Sorry for lecturing.

4 Likes
#116

I know which is what I’m trying to do, clear such limiting beliefs about myself so I can grow in life, which is why I’m using subs in the first place

2 Likes
#117

Everyday Visualize that you are confident for about 5 to 10 mins. And affirm for 5 mins, that I’m confident. You will see alot of difference in a month. Do this for 3 months without a break. You will see wonders. All the best.

3 Likes
#118

Thanks a lot

1 Like
#119

Alex I suffered the same racist bullying at school. Now I am an adult I rarely if ever face this kind of problem. In fact if i hear anyone making racist comments about anyone. I will be on them like a tonne of bricks.

5 Likes
#120

@myspace123 The more I listen to emperor the more I am learning to accept myself. If anyone dislikes my skin colour fuck them. For every one person that dislikes you ten others will like you.

7 Likes
#121

I live in middle east and there’s a lot of racism here. You gotta have a thick skin to live here and interact with the locals. I can understand what the Indian guy is feeling. But tbh racism is everywhere these days. You really need a ton of confidence to face people who look down upon you bcoz of your race.

3 Likes
#122

@myspace123 Your skincolor does not matter, where it matters the most. It only matters where it doesnt…

The market does not care, With women it doesnt matter if you have what it takes, with true friends it wouldn’t matter and life does not care.

Im saying this because im in arab and have felt like i had to prove myself constantly. Truth is, others have made it before me. Why the fuck can’t i?

Sorry for hijacking your thread @Alexander

7 Likes
#123

Its all good. This is on topic and I’m agreeing with much of what is said.

I forgot to mention recently that I manifested a $400 camera.

Its an old camera released in 2011, but this is damn near new. My friend received it as a gift, then bought a go-pro immediately after and never shot it much.

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If you remember in post #14 I manifested the laptop and studio equipment and on #18 I manifested the $350 Keyboard. So far I’m up to $1,800 of physical equipment I’ve received running these subliminals.

That’s not to mention the hours upon hours I’ve received in learning from professionals who just happen to cross my path.

Right now I’m running mostly Regeneration, Limitless, and Beyond Limitless. This is the last week of my classes and I’m determined to finish strong, so I’m sacrificing some time with other subliminals.

9 Likes
#124

Its really interesting that whenever I’m not running a particular sub, I experience all the effects of it.

I went to my favorite coffee shop and was unable to focus on my homework.

Its usually never like this and it was so odd to me. After a while I simply decided to leave.

Outside the coffee shop was a locally famous photographer who just happened to ask me what camera I was using. From there I spent a good hour with him as he explained his photography style and some ways to pick up business. He suggested two camera clubs that I should check out that he regarded as being really good.

Then I went back to the coffee shop and learned how to update my Instagram strategy. My simple goal is 1000 followers. When you reach 1000 followers with a low following count, people perceive you as being popular or that your images are good, regardless of how good your images actually are.

Obviously, I’m striving to have good images regardless, but this form of social proof would be very useful in getting me clients and finding new people to work with.

I believe I can achieve this goal within 30 days. Before I was unable to see how I could achieve this growth without a massive amount of action over months.

4 Likes
#125

I’ve been using Daredevil since release and wanted to post a progress report.

I planned an outing with my friends today, which is uncommon for me.

I wanted to hit up some thrift stores and we ended up making a whole day of it. We went thrifting, grabbed food, then walked around a nearby city and just had fun.

I very often had my friends dying of laughter, and I seemed to just hit on these high points again and again.

Initially I had very heavy resistance to Daredevil as many of my fears came up and were then flushed.

Fears surrounding people ignoring what I was going to say, me having no value, me killing the mood, and a particular fear of stuttering, which happens when I’m tired or unfocused.

Some of these fears came up today, but I’ve become comfortable with them in a way that it didn’t affect my mood much at all.

I’m currently only running 2x loops of Daredevil as Ultimate Artist/Limitless is my focus, but I’m having a lot of fun with this subliminal right now.

8 Likes
#126

Thats great i dont know how i got to this site or what it is btw . Looks sounds like a gaming site mixed with self help. Extremely confused at the moment but interested.

2 Likes