@Elme
Thanks for the comment.
Relationship Talk
It’s weird. I have the relationship that I want with the person I want. But right now, in this exact moment, I don’t want it.
If I broke up with her, all I would be looking for is exactly what I already have.
Not to mention, in the short term, my life would get worse. We have good routines. We actually had amazing routines when we lived together, a lot of my anger comes from the fact that I lost a lot of the good in my life when we stopped living together.
(I didn’t realize that until writing this. Thank you again journalling for providing clear insights)
It’s not a her problem, it’s a me problem, which is what I was saying earlier.
At the same time, I’m holding on to some anger around the way that her and I almost broke up. I kissed another girl, she found out, we no longer live together, etc.
If she cheated on me now, I just noticed this ease in my mind where I’d just break up with her and be done with it without much of a second thought.
I currently don’t really want a relationship. But generally speaking it’s my preferred way of being. I pretty much got my dream relationship, and now I’m just not focusing on it. I’ve moved on to focusing on the other aspects of my life and the relationship is taking a toll. So part of me is just waiting and seeing if this is an adjustment period for the relationship, or if it’s actually a major sign that we operate great as a tight-knit unit but don’t support each other’s independence well.
I think that in a month or two I’ll stop thinking this way, which is why I’m writing it down and noticing the patterns without being reactive about them. Breaking up with her now after 2 years of good and only a small period of time would be reactive. However, if I still feel the way I do 6 months from now or something then I’ve obviously been feeling negatively for way too long and need to do something about it. That’s why this journal helps me, to like you say, notice the patterns
In other news. I listened to one loop of limitless ZP and got this surge of energy and productivity half-way through. it’s not a hard work day for me, but I’m more so just checking in on things… I’m excited to listen to this while working during the work day.
I’m really deliberating over my stack. There’s a quote from Saint saying that people should listen to Chosen after listening to limitless if they have productivity issues that are stopping them from being a leader, and that sums me up perfectly. However, Chosen doesn’t just help me with leading my team, it helps me on sales call and being the face of the brand. One day the Chosen + Stark combo will make me famous!
Limitless seems like a serious enhancement to my stack. Chosen seems like a serious enhancement to my sales calls and bottom line revenue, alongside my health, happiness, and optimism. Since it’s a physical shifting sub as well I probably want to get lots of exposure to it. So i’m thinking I’ll even stop RICH for a little while to focus on building pathways to GET RICH… ie, be a leader that takes action.
So Chosen and Limitless would be better subs for building myself up than RICH would be.
I really see Chosen as the enhancement of/replacement for Ascended Mogul. The goals seem similar. If Ascended Mogul was ZP I would unhesitatingly add it to my stack, but for now, I’m testing out ZP only.
The third sub in my stack is a choice between regeneration, RICH, or nothing. Regeneration because emotional balance is nice. I get mood swings and that effects my productivity as well. RICH would help manifest money. And “nothing” would make Chosen and Limitless work faster.
There’s also the option of running Wanted as the third stack, which would give me some major physical shifting, inner confidence, might help my relationship concerns, improve sales calls if i’m the one they’re chasing, and according to @Invictus calm my adhd rabbit brain.
@Invictus i’m gonna troll around through your Wanted Journals a little more and see what I get inspired for. You got any comments on what I might do for a stack, given these comments?