AzrielLight EmperorQ

Journals - Major Programs
#1798

Yeah I didn’t want to go into too much detail cause it’s very complicated, but wanted to express what I could, the situation really fucking pissed me off, and it feels tied into the hurt that I was expressing that WANTED exactly address. It feels like recon around further healing that.

@Malkuth

I have no doubt I could process my anger, walk away, and have this situation have minimal to zero impact on my life/future --but part of me and my instinct wants to find a way to address it with her directly, just because I like to bring action to things and find ways to confront (assertively not aggressively) people in situations -any thoughts or wisdom about the move here ? (even intuitively since you only got the convoluted scramble)

As usual I will only take what resonates if you choose to share a perspective in regards to this

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#1799

You’re light-years beyond where I am with this stuff. I’m learning simply by reading you describe your experiences.

The sense I got was that it’s already been 8 months since you’ve seen that woman.

At the same time, she gave you no closure, showed very little accountability and acted without integrity. You want to contact her ultimately, it seems, because you cared about her. And the feelings are still alive. She sounds a bit like unfinished business that you’d like to resolve.in some way.

I guess I’d say that if you do choose to contact her, try to reflect first on this:

What, that is under my control, would represent a (sufficiently) desirable and satisfying outcome to this interaction?

and Why?

in other words, what am I looking for out of this interaction and to what extent is getting what I want under my own control?

I think that asking these questions, somewhat thoroughly (i.e., letting them sit in your mind as you sleep, wake, and do other things), is more important than actually answering them conclusively. It’s like giving your wisdom a chance to get involved.

I think that then you’ll do better no matter what course you end up deciding. (After all, even if you decide not to contact her, there’s no guarantee that she won’t contact you or just bump into you randomly.)

So, this is an opportunity to process some unfinished business within yourself. But my opinion is that she does not deserve to be the main person with whom you process it.

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#1800

I was debating whether to post this:

Since running WANTED, I’ve been re-evaluating past relationships in general. Not something I would have expected with this sub. Some insights are so obvious now, but I missed them for years.

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#1801

Everything you said hits my experience and what resonates extremely spot on, absolute pure gold, thank you.

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#1802

yes, I started experiencing this on my off days, where it’s highlighting past relationships, both where I could have kept things going and dropped the ball, and where I felt I was ‘out of control’ because of a lack of real gravity/intrigue. I’m actually getting the impulse to reach back out to previous partners where things were great and could have kept going but I dropped the ball.

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#1803

really rough recon day, exhausted, anxious, feel like doing nothing, it picked up a little at the end and now kind of in-feels very classic recon- today is my second rest day. Social interactions have still been very on point but not enjoying the time by myself which is unusual for me.

I think combing HERO custom with WANTED and running into my normal rest day was very energy intensive overall …or it’s just one of those days.

My recon gets much worse for several days during rest days usually.

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#1804

Back on subs- ran 1 loop Emperor/PS custom

Still feeling really deep offness-trapped in my life and even my physicality, relatively exhausted, frustrated at many things.

@Hermit what’s going on in the field/cosmos right now? Is there something particular going on around this because it feels pervasive and while it touches personal stuff it feels almost impersonal.

Could just be further recon…or WANTED withdrawal :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

Really annoyed at my sense of status and career, everyone around me is great and treating me well in work, but I’m feeling the impact of not being where I want to be in career and my own business.
This is good, because I am transmuting it to move forward.

The money has been rolling in -but it’s within my comfort zone- I’m now switching to sales calls cause it’s what’s needed for one company I consult with, but the pay is the same and no commission…and part of me wants to help cause these guys have been great to me, but on the other hand I’m like ‘fuck that’

Two days since last ran WANTED, but woman are smiling at me in the street and even as the ride by on bikes.

Feeling hornier than I have in quite a while, and my mind/being is pushing for more sex, and intimacy.

Thinking I"ll take another week off DR I think and just run Emperor/PS, WANTED, and HERO custom, not sure yet, though I do one to get back on track with DR and finish it out.

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#1806

Hi @Azriel, we are nearing the most important alignment of the entire year – the energy has expanding, building, and increasing since three months ago which a lot of us have obviously felt and it’s been taking a toll on everyone here.

We had three Blood Moons back to back, the upcoming one is the third Blood Moon which signifies tremendous change globally; I’m not going to make any predictions as it can go unfold infinitely different ways.

See, we as Humans are conductors to that cosmic energy – the greater our Spiritual capacity, the more we’ll feel these energies.

Beings who’re mostly connected to the Divine, those who use conceptual thinking instead of linear and logical thinking will usually notice this most and be able to put such energy concepts into communication for others to comprehend.

So, yes, the lockdowns are slightly ending and we are embarking on a new phase – an Era of truth and evolution.

Do not think, however, that everything will change in a snap of a finger – it is a process, with big turning points and events such as global lockdowns, each time becoming increasingly mind-blowing and shattering to our belief system.

Now, everything is interconnected right, we can always look at an object from different perspectives; each of them being equally true from the perceiver, yet when we have birds-eye vision (third eye) and use conceptual thinking instead we can truly get a sense for what’s going on.

These energies have a tremendous influence on our ability to process and execute subliminal’s, especially in which direction they’ll manifest and the energies have that of healing, looking over past behaviors, shadow work, etc the entire lockdown phase which is now being wrapped up as we enter the building phase.

I personally, have gone through agonies shadow work, being tripped up many times but in the end, it paid off tremendously and as we approach this Full Moon I’m feeling glorious, each day more.

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#1807

I have a follow-up question for you @Hermit, but I don’t want to take up the space here on @Azriel’s journal, so I’ll post it over on my journal.

:pray:t6:

#1808

please continue here if you like, this is fascinating stuff

I’m happy to have discourse here, and will only step in if it’s extremely non-relevant, controversial/antagonistic with no productivity, or of extreme non interest lol

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#1809

Yo would you say Emperor QV2 is softer than QV1? Not sure if I matured, am going through reconciliation or Qv2 is more easy going. Feel more inclined to let snide remarks pass, instead of just… SHOOTING TO KILL (@pacman :stuck_out_tongue:)

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#1810

yeah it seem significantly ‘chiller’ than Q. I think as more information comes in the build upgrades the intensity of that diminishes–initially but may build back up over time. But QV2 is more intelligent in how it navigates this situation imo as well, since getting buthurt about certain things and needing to smash back is a deterrent to pursuing freedom, real status, and success at once’s goals. Although the smash power seems still there if really needed :slight_smile:

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#1811

@DarkPrince, I see that as a blessing – in the past Alpha programs were too powerful, now it’s more balanced.

#1812

I don’t disagree. But I feel as if you would become really accustomed to the power and adopt gentleness and good character as a blanket around it. So you radiate power through the eyes of love. As I did with Emperor V2. I was constantly seeking out harmony.

But the current programs aren’t bad either.

#1813

The way I think of it is that if you are already the Emperor, how about just knowing your are dominant without having to prove it or answer every “challenge”?

If I answer someone’s challenge or try to prove something to someone that implies I want to convince them of something and that I think they are in a position of having to prove something to them, that they are in a position to evaluate me, and that I want to get their approval.

#1814

I didn’t communicate clearly,
not saying this to be alpha, just to accurately depict my currently development on these subs
I don’t ever feel a need to answer to anyone’s challenge
I will however, whether on Emperor and/or PCC have to very clearly lay down the line with some people, and aggression and force is the only communication they respond to and respect.

It’s a tactical move not an emotional one- I’m just saying that capacity is there if/as needed on Emperor QV2 and it’s usually in service of relationship or group cohesion.

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#1815

No. It’s not this simple. It is extremely nuanced. It depends on who does it and under what context.

And your own personal feelings are also a dominant factor – of course that is dictated heavily by your current maturity.

Not to mention morals.

But its not this intricate for everyone, mostly so for natural born leaders.

If I answer someone’s challenge or try to prove something to someone that implies I want to convince them of something and that I think they are in a position of having to prove something to them, that they are in a position to evaluate me, and that I want to get their approval.

Then what about a king being challenged in his domain in front of all the nobles and dignitaries? Do you see how extremely context based this is?

Exactly so. Its not that we feel a need to respond, its that we must respond, because the situation calls for it accordingly. I don’t care if someone tries to touch my girl’s ass, I am detached from it. But I will still break his arm. Because its imperative.

The same with everyone challenging me on this forum. Completely detached. I just enrage them. Not because I feel that they should view me in some different light, or impress them with my eloquence and detachment. But, to, coldly destroy them. I don’t feel a thing. No personal feelings, you were just a move on the chess board. Bro.

Most people will never grasp this complexity.

#1816

Hit it off with a bombshell at the gym the other day- hadn’t run WANTEDin quite a few days, so maybe Emperor/PS is kicking in-but the WANTED coquettish-ness was there. Want to find a way to ask her out- I’m always a little wary with getting involved in places of re-occurrence. She is there 6 days a week lol. Whatever a way will just show up I’m sure :slight_smile:

Also have a date with something that fizzled out 6 months ago re-ignited

Aside from that just running my Emperor/PS daily and HERO custom at night.

Definitely getting some recon, fell of the no fap wagon, I’m traveling multiple worlds it seems- been feeling better in some ways and lost and depressive in others every day.

This is the most I’ve run QV2 in a week so may need to taper back.

My gym results are clearly better and better, Paragon in custom seems to have helped a wrist tweak greatly in a short time.

I’m still not seeing the healing I want in the ears/ upper respiratory but I’m going to be patient for now.
It’s not been long…about a month a couple loops a week.

It’s just I see such fast results with physical changes in certain areas-muscle, fat loss, gym progress, back healing, now wrist, male enhancement, and not others-its awesome on one end and just to consciously vent- annoying as fuck on the other, as I’d really like to resolve this issue.

Since pausing DR my patience about it has dwindled further. I also have faith unyielding in HERO custom and am struggling with thoughts of my future and ever resolving this-so perhaps recon there.

Because I know what’s possible it makes me think I have some sort of internal block towards the healing effecting certain things.

The whole side of my face with the ear that has an issue-feels heat and is temporarily more congested than usual-the jaw is extra tense and my neck is also going in and off of incredible tensions. So clearly some direct effect but mostly in recon for now.

I’m reordering my custom wealth sub in QV2 -just deciding what to replace with Fenrir, Furious Ascent, and possibly Fable Lifeblood. I want Fearsome-but it’s not really integral to this custom. I’ve noticed a notable drop in financial flow, wealth mindset, financial ambition and work navigation. Things are floating well, but there is less driving force than before. And as much as I love the seduction subs, that’s still priority.

5 Likes
#1817

Ran WANTED again today

more smiles from woman in the street- a lot of comfort and interest. I notice it works really well with PS from custom-because it creates a sexual edge and pop alongside that.

Had not an injury, but a strain/spasm today so had to cut squats today, my overhead press was weak as well. I feel a bit more physically vulnerable at the gym after running WANTED-maybe the physical changes/energy from them detract from the workout, I have to look to monitor this.

Correlation is not causation but 2 of my worst workouts was after WANTED, and 1 of my best workouts was after it. So I’m going to keep on eye on this until I adjust

I notice that if I’m not social or in the midst of things, alone, or ‘stuck’ with 1 friend-I start to get aggravated after running WANTED as well. I need to be out there making things happen or I notice a depressive-ness come up. This could be general recon though as well.

Running a loop of DR stage 3 now and feeling really really good.

I’m going to run an extra rest day or 2 days on 1 day off- moving forward.

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#1818

I’m wondering if WANTED is very energy intensive and might be fatiguing.

Perhaps run WANTED after you work out.

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