The drop in my performance the first week of my custom I realize it also not simply overexposure to new custom but potentially it’s under exposure to True Sell. My custom recon is diminishing , but it still makes me more on the serious side than fun side. I like it, but need to keep the humor and ease up to be super effective. I needed that difficult week to break through my own capacity and emotional stability.
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I’ve had some great financial success with my EOG run
I’m thinking I need to finally run Khan for the same status leap
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@Invictus hope life is staying amazing.
Do you feel SPS: Endocrine adds something significant and distinct in your customs that LOTS doesn’t cover?
Awesome post here I’m removing. I got an instinct it’s not quite the time to share
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Totally noting and enjoying my own drama.
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Here was the post.
I was going to write this early this week and never posted:
EARLY LAST WEEK
Some interesting stuff is happening
I must be hitting some real wealth cap and breaking through.
I’m on a trajectory to earn 10x+ this year than when I came to subclub through my definite income. Not including streams with huge 50K+ projects in the pipeline in biz dev…and I have this instinct to to throw it all out. I’m envisioning being a snowboard bum just smoking cigarettes and sleeping with woman.
I think it’s cause I am not making room for what I love and want more of in my life (not cigarettes lol), I’ve somewhat lost my larger vision, recon,
YESTERDAY
Then I broke through. My motivation and will is insane now
This was not my highest revenue generated week in sales, but my top week in sales in terms of new clients and personal revenue earned. It was close after close. $60K in sales, likely $70k by midnight tonight with a pending. Crushed some specific bonuses. RICH in my custom seems to be working as well as I’ll do close to $20K in personal revenue 
(pretax 
) in three weeks period. I was doing $10-15k personal/rev (sales per 4 week period before so kind of a big jump. With still a week left to crush it.)
It is really crazy how much cash is flowing in since EOG stage 2 and now I’m taking it up a notch with this custom including RICH. I bitched about RICH but its turning a corner, at least in my custom, for sure. Exactly what True Sell Black was designed for.
I’m a machine when it comes to work and honestly need to incorporate more in my life.
There is a lot more interesting philosophical things to discuss but I’m riding this high now and will come back to that.
I’m shifting from feeling ‘I don’t know’ as an insecurity- to owning how fxxing elite (credit @Niles ) I am
while staying open to always learning and evolving. I’m authentically becoming an ultra performer.
It feels more and more like who I am is pure value… I create money. This custom has me feel like a super god hunter- it’s like I can zoom in on something and and just obliterate that goal with this insane masculine power while I can dance, flow, and change into whatever is needed to meet the goal while never compromising my integrity.
TODAY
My whole focus is on the private equity fund and research today. It’s brutal. Like getting water from a stone. On hour 12 I’ve started to break through. I took a couple of sales calls throughout the day but when my minds not in it its not the same.
It’s a new week and my sales slate is wiped clean. I want to keep the attitude of building momentum from weeks I crush it and not thinking it’s new. I want to view it month to month even though my close reports are week to week. This will help me stay ‘on fire’.
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I’ve added 10 seconds of Wanted Black twice in my stack 2x this week.
It was towards the end of the week so I don’t attribute my massive success to it… but it helped a bit I think. I’m testing cause I’m working towards a custom with that.
People are consistently calling my legend and super star … 4 different people this week lol
1 a girl I used to be in love with and we reconnected today over zoom. She’s getting married at this point but we have insane chemistry and vibes and deep connection and I would authentically love to stay friends with her.
The others are work colleagues or superiors
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Custom is picking up. After a monster week last week
Day 2 into this week $40K one sale. $3000 personal revenue in 45 minutes. And that’s Monday. I see a $100K sales week coming. RICH +True Sell, nice.
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an age-old question:
can I bring the same level and intensity of contemplation to success that I was bringing to the fearful anticipation of failure?
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That’s a great question. And my orientation does seem to be going there. It’s like can I handle this level of ongoing success and things getting better and better.
Its’ also interesting, because on one hand I’m more and more certain and empowered on one path and on the other, probably EOG Stage 4 and Furious Ascent, I can enter this space of questioning and reorienting everything and ready to keep doing new things on a massive level.
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I’m running full loops of True Sell black now. This custom has been mind boggling. It is not an easy one. I’m almost hesitant to say it but when no longer in recon/breaking through, I have done $60K weeks two weeks in a row. That is over double my average. I feel more and more ownership of my capacity and power and how far I can take this. I overdid it in terms of total exposure this week and slipped into recon and now I’m questioning everything and doubting myself, saying it’s not enough, it was a fluke, etc. But it’s so clearly recon I have nothing about it. Considering dropping EOG to maximize even more, but I believe it’s manifestation synergizes really well with HOM and RICH. It is pushing me to create my own business though as well.
any way my next two paychecks (bi-weekly)will each be the size of the paycheck I made in my first month in sales. So it’s only up from here.
I have until mid September to stay in pure performance mode, then I have to step back take stock and perhaps shift things business wise.
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Was going to write this and didn’t on Tuesday
Today is my fourth day of washout, I feel so much intensity and processing it’s quite interesting. Both emotionally and mentally. I’m both called to begin my stack again and to wait another day. Not sure what to do. I will be integrating more consistent time off in the future as it seems key to lowering the intensity while increasing results after a period of increased intensity. Since my washout I’ve stayed consistent in my sales, but nothing too crazy, part of me thought and I still can break through to another monster week. My understanding is the real bloom would come after the 5 days. I just want to do another really high week in a row.
My stack has been working wonders for me there are a couple things coming to mind
- It is extreme and unbalanced
- I’m making a lot of money but I’m not playing the wealth game
- I’m craving clarity of thought, purpose, depth, stillness, and more slowing down.
- I’m craving more positive Alpha
Then an update today.
So I’m still on the high end of a sales week. Above average but not a monster week. I’m in a foul mood lately after today’s work, thinks are closing like I’d like and it was just kind of off. I was trying some new stuff and there is always that integration, development detour that can be a bit of an issue. I have one more day to turn out a monster week. The sale that’s coming in tonight will put me in 2nd highest tier bonus. Then I’d need $15K more to be in highest tier and have a monster week. I’ll do it.
Next breakthroughs.
- More consistent multiple sales a day
- Stop chasing the dragon get clear when it’s time to walk away and do more important things
- Close the more challenging sales, the closeable ones
- Stay consistently next level
- Make it all easier- so I can free up bandwidth for building wealth game and other work with higher leverage.
- Get better at ‘owning’ knowing. I’m the ‘shit’ I can do this. Call out my shots and make them happen. I have a false humility around not doing that.
I’m increasing questioning the energy I put into sales while also loving it more and more.
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I’m getting this crazy idea to drop HOM and EOG at least for a week. And test True Sell Black without them. Even crazier thinking of adding Wanted Black and Khan and see how that effects sales and my life. Mmmm I might do that.
I was going to order a wealth custom combing HOM and EOG, but thinking of waiting on new wealth titles and scripting since it sounds like there coming out soon. I kind of want to test my capacity when I’m not doing pure wealth subs. Part of me is scared of what changes there might be, but it could also be a lot better. HOM and EOG have played such a pivotal roll, but it’s push pull, they definitely amp up manifestation there is still tons of there scripting I am not putting to use in my more current wealth pathway. It also could even be slowing down True Sell black. One week could give clarity.
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True sell black solo for a cycle would be interesting.
De-load and let EOG/HOM bloom.
Remove some (RICH) long term scripting to get your subconscious focused on the NOW and results THIS week.
See how you feel doing it solo, because if you do WB khan and TSBlack it’ll just be a mish mash and you won’t know what helped.
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I like what your saying in theory, but TS black I’m concerned about solo- between RICH, Fenrir, and Furious ascent it makes me very edgy and speedy, the manifestation is clearly great as is the push. But its like a dog on crack with a bone. HOM and EOG both chill it out as would Khan or WB.
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That makes sense yeah I didn’t realize it did that haha
I’m so grateful for my life.
I work like crazy because I choose to.
But my schedule and time is free.
I make crazy money now and it’s just getting better and better
My fund work current iteration is on the line but I’m not worried, I’ll pull through and crush it or shift
to something better with them, or elsewhere.
On day 2 of the week I’ve exceeded sales quota for the week at close to $25K so I’m running some experiments this week. Will share after the results. I actually already started and it seemed to improve performance.
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OK So month 1 on True Sell black. Almost doubled my income. My monthly sales revenue was up by $110K. Clearly crushed it.
The last week I swapped EOG stage 4 out for Khan Stage 1. Not sure if bloom or Khan, but that week was killer. Definitely loved Khan for elements of sales. The bulk of my sales came in the first 4 days. The total breakdown element both freed me up and also threw off some things pretty significantly by the end of week. Not sales wise, but in other elements of my life. The huge boom in sales in that short time could be khan, eog bloom, or just more room for the custom.
The last couple days of the week were very slow. So that has me uncertain. Anyway I felt insane confidence on it all, and have been thinking of going just sales job so it’s the money maker. Torn I’ve loved the other work I do but it’s so difficult and slow compared to sales. Anyway the new month has started and I’ll look to build on my momentum rather than feel I’m starting from ground zero, which it can sometimes seem in sales. Until my performance proves otherwise, while I have faith in myself, I tend to revert to some insecurity and concern around making the next big thing happen. I’m seeing I need to let this go and focus on what I can do while continuing to identify as a high performer.
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Musings
As someone who came from an odd mix of poverty and privilege, scarcity in household financials but all the allures and trappings of an upper class life I am torn. I have been grabbling with my profound sense of scarcity and ‘making it’ on my whole journey with EOG, and while I have entered into periods of ridiculous abundance and confidence in my capacity, I am taking deeper and deeper cuts at truly unearthing this scarcity in reality.
Lately I am faced with potentially leaving one job and while I make enough in other to be more than sufficient, I find a part of me filled with dread. Even at the idea of retaining both. What are my skills, what are my values, what’s transferable. Even as I make over $20K a month now I have concerns, 'what if…what if…what if this is it, what if its not enough, what if I lose it, what if this defines me, what if I waste more time, what if I can never transition into real freedom etc" I feel like an absolute rockstar in areas and like a total loser fraud in others. It’s so interesting how the mind and being works. I think I’m breaking through into the next cut of something big.
Long story short I am in a dichotomy. I both have such compassion for others challenges especially financially and them being where they are, and at the same time I have this part of me that can not even associate with that, perhaps out of avoidance, or my own transcendence, or some odd combination. But it is increasingly insane to me that a first world citizen cannot make their way to financial well being if not massive success in life. I think this is part of the power delusion of the ‘winner effect’. Or perhaps RICH running through my blood. The irony is that I now need to make it to the next level, and I feel a total loss of how. Who I will be is looking at me now, as who I am now is looking at who I was. Great sign 
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Damn, that is really good.