What if I were to get ASBR, WB and Hero (instead of daredevil) in a custom, with RoM, RoD, RoS, and QL, Alch, and KB?
The perfect journey of Mystery.
Ah, why am I doing this to myself 
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Jotting down ideas for curstoms and fine-tuning it is so damn addictive. I know the feeling.
Itās like creating characters in an RPG game (like DIABLO) and adjusting the stats to make it just right.
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Haha yeahā¦ and thatās my toxic trait lmao 
I love to do it with customs, but I get so easily into overwhelm. Especially when Iām already in recon, and end up with builds that are more or less āeverything all at onceā. Then I pester Support about it with a wall-oā-text, realize I was in recon and it was pretty stupid really because no way thatās a good idea, and then cancel the support ticket before theyāve had a chance to get back to me about it.
Like I said. Itās my toxic trait 
I have a tendency to focus too much on an idea, rather than utility and what would be most useful to me where I am right now. But the gritty reality of right-now is not nearly as interesting as creating a grand vision about something far into the future.
I suppose thatās also a symptom of recon or overwhelm - and a way to create a situation where the reach of my grasp is never enough. Self-sabotage. Fearing success I suppose? Or feeling that I am not worthy enough (of a good outcome) and keeping myself instead in a perpetual limbo while having my limitless potential shown to me on a theatre screen as a means of torture.
Ah. Sounds like Iām in recon at the moment 
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I think you are having a journey in self-awareness.
One of the beauties of the ZP subliminals (whether main store or customs) is that each of them teaches you something along the way. And in this case, you had a good number of self-realizations even if you abandon your customs or stacks.
Am speaking from a similar experience (aside from writing to support. That part you wrote was hilarious) but I know that feeling of wanting to get everything handled but not being able to.
Meanwhile, we inch ourselves to success, one mini-enlightenment after another and eventually we shall see that even though the journey was long and full of self-sabotaging detours, we had somehow made it thanks to the subliminals aiding our subconcious mind.
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Aha haha. Yeah, I think so too. The power of ZP and ZPv2 really is staggering - and I keep forgetting that in the everyday grind just how potent it truly is. I am hit with new insights and epiphanies on a daily basis now, both about myself, and the world around me.
And I donāt see it as abandoning a stack or a custom (Iāve only gotten 1 so far) but more like a process of continuous evolution. As I reach a new level it may also bring the realization that what I need is something different entirely from what I initially thought. Ergo, why I keep closing my own support tickets. 
But yeah. Closing my own tickets because Iāve already come to an answer myselfā¦ I feel kinda silly about that. I should stick to journaling here instead. Let you guys stop me before I contact support lmao. Sorry guys @ sc/support! 
Anyway.
YES! This, right here. I didnāt know how to express it but you really put words to it. Itās like a race where you move forward with crawling speed at times. It is excruciating, but before you know it youāre halfway there already. Iāll keep this in mind from now on.
And speaking of mini-enlightenments.
Iāve just realized something that is a bit counterintuitive but also oh so obvious, when you stop to think about it. Everyone is talking about āEgo-Deathā and how we must āremove our egosā and so on because itās ātoxicā. But without balance thatās just more ātoxic egoā. A Lightworkersā Shadow Self.
Because what Ego really is (as Iāve come to see it) is the core will of our Self. Itās our aiming mechanism, and our drive and desire to manifest what we want in our lives. I see it now as neutral in its nature, like a powerful tool you would wield to shape the world around you. What comes of it depends on how you wield it, and it may express itself in a healthy way, or an unhealthy way.
I realized a few days ago that over the years Iāve dissolved my Ego so much that it was basically non-existent. Especially so for the past decade. Ironically, by doing that I also gave up on my personal power, which led to an increased expression of more ātoxic behaviorsā. In my case a lack of Ego made me more toxic, as I became more negative, more depressed, and more unable to be gratuitous or even regulate my emotions properly. I ended up in a mode of learned helplessness, and a victim mentality.
Who would have thought that lack of (balanced) Ego is just another aspect of oneās Shadowā¦
ASBR and Wanted Black really helped me realize this as Iāve been asking myself more and more what I want from life. I have neglected what I want for such a long time that I actually, sort of, forgot how to think about it in a healthy manner. Just by leaning into that more, Iāve started to like myself again. What what. I did not expect that.
And also Iāve come to realize that while I would love to dive into the deep spirituality and reality shifting of a RoM/RoS/RoD custom alongside a QL/Alchemist/KB custom - I am really not at the right character level to run them at this time. I need to grind a bit more XP. Just a little more.
Itās true, I want it all. But right now I canāt have it.
So Iām trying to kill my darlings and decide on one direction to go. With that in mind, I am still leaning towards getting my TKSP-custom as a long-term grinding gear, and then stack things as the need arises. Let me know what you guys think of it.
TKSP-custom
The Kitchen Sink Project:
A Stark Black Reality
Wanted Black
HERO: Origins
New Dawn
Transcendental Connection
Achillesā Heel
Furious Ascent
Kingās Radiance
Eyes of Zenith
Lifeblood Fable
Cosmic Wealth
Void of Creation
Eventide
Mystery
Gentlemanās Speech
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
New Romance Experience
Inner Blaze
Epigeneticās & DNA Modulator
I should also do a proper week-long washout next week too. Itās been a while nowā¦
EDIT: For the custom, I might be better of with the new PRIMAL instead of WB, and NR instead of Heroā¦ For a more focused title. I mean, I want the physical shifting from both WB and Hero and the other stuff. But to be honest all that is secondary. What I really need is that internal drive and purposeā¦ I can always stack WB and Hero, and Primal and NR are better aligned with my long term goals.
Iām getting closer. But for now Iāll let this cook for a while.
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Yeah. Maybe I should just, idk, try to not kitchen-sink it.
Maybe, just maybe, Iāll achieve more focus by not trying to do, uhm, everything at once. Maybe just stick to one artisanal title at the time.
Maybe I should just, idk, do a washout or something. And then triangulate a stack that carries, and stick with it long enough to let it settle 
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This will be a badass stack. Can feel it.
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Apparently, Iām gonna be live on national TV tomorrow for a debate about a new law propositionā¦ and the channel wanted me there for my perspective.
ASBR is no joke 
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Badass indeed!
Though Iām wondering if WB is the right choice here, or if I should go with Primal instead.
Alright, Iām nearing a decision here. Personal growth these past weeks has been insane. But I can see things a lot clearer now. Spirituality is very important to me and I will be getting those customs at some point - but now is not the time for that. I canāt force-feed myself āspiritualityā like that if I havenāt even reached stability in my mundane life, so thatās where my focus will be. I might stack a spiritual major title like RoS, but custom-wise that will have to wait.
The trajectory I see for myself for now is a custom with ASBR, Primal, and Daredevil - and pair that with either QL/New limitless, and a third title (possibly WB or GMX. For fun, maybe? :)) and then lean into the new EoG when it drops and keep leaning into business and money making mode.
The current build iteration is this then:
A Stark Black Reality
PRIMAL
Daredevil
New Dawn
Transcendental Connection
Achillesā Heel
Furious Ascent
Kingās Radiance
Eyes of Zenith
Lifeblood Fable
Call of Honor
Cosmic Wealth
Void of Creation
Eventide
Mystery
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
New Romance Experience
Inner Blaze
Epigeneticās & DNA Modulator
I realize that to succeed in anything you need to make connections. And what is that? Social skill and grace, which have been a vulnerability of mine for my entire life. That, and inner frame. Itās time to do something about that - hence my choice of both Primal and Daredevil. I also need to ignite that adventurous spark again.
Then we go for the money.
And then we go for the cosmos.
Let me know what you guys think.
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I have retvrned.
After a long-or-so soujourn through my own metaphorical Underworld, I ehhmerge. Not overly victorious, but more Phyrrically so. Alive sure, but terribly briused up. My Self did not like that particularlyā¦ Nor did I keep any notes of it either. What the damnā¦
Ehemā¦
Anyway.
After running the OG Dragon Reborn way back when loops were still 60 minutes and you had to listen to it several times per day, I swore never to do another multistage again.
After that I folded, as I ran Quantum Limitless and Alchemist at the same time period, alternating the titles. That wasā¦ interestingā¦ Again, I swore never to do another multistage again, beacuse that was rough.
Then Khan Black dropped, and I knew despite my clarity and determination not to indulge in another multistage, as I read the copy I knew it was a lost cause to resistā¦
Having completed two cycles of KB st4 back in January I felt satisfied. Now maybe I could finally get that Khuantum Alchemist Black custom that I had been wanting for, for so long. Or by heavens, that Revelations-trio custom that I felt was just over the horizon. Alas, that did not happen either.
Instead a flood of gems dropped, and I managed two cycles of ASBR, which really resonated with me but also put me in the spotlight in a somewhat wierd manner that was not quite the way I wanted to, albeit at the time important in the grand scheme of things. I also managed to get in three cycles of Dragon Reborn Phoenix because really, who dosenāt love catastrophic radical self-transformation? I was also able to run the new Sanguine and oh boy that felt good, and also two cycles of E:TWTP, which was just amazing.
It was April now, and after a weekās washout I decided on Primal and Daredevil as my go-to subs, as I figured they covered the largest aspects I wanted to fix that still lingered in my Shadow. But that only lasted for one cycle. This was mid-late April, and I would once again find my plans foiled. You seeā¦
Something happened at work, and I also realized that I need to fix my dependent nature in my relationshipā¦ and also, the fire nation attacā ehā¦ I mean, Synergy dropped (damn you Fire and Saint why god why!?)
So, ditching Primal and DD for now, I continued with two cycles of E:TWTP and also, unironically, WB. I am not sure why but I just felt intuitively drawn to running WB. And not because of a notion of āhaving lots of ladiesā (duāh im in a relationship) but more a search of the feeling that I am my own person relationship-wise. This was at the time not particularly clear to me, but after having run it for a few loops I felt myself feeling more independent and not as unhealthily attached, which of course lead to a feeling of more interdependence, which is really the golden state in every relationship. With this my emotional stability increased, and I started to feel more āas my own personā again. It was curious, ironic, but not particularly surprising. And the gambit paid of in the end.
At this time I also jumped on the Synergy kitchensink bandwagon, and following my own advice (as I never do), I created a monster. I was and am happy with it, but itās a monster nevertheless. I started out with short loops and increased over time, but like I mentioned elsewhere the past two weeks have beenā¦ a lot. So I am reducing exposure for now and following @RVconsultantās advice with 48 hour breaks in between.
I call it:
"Oculus Of The Magi"
Minds Eye Core
New Limitless
Ascension Chamber
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
New Romance Experience
Epigeneticās & DNA Modulator
Fortuneās Favourite
Cosmic Wealth
Synergy: The Golden One
Synergy: Energetic Transcendence
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Synergy: 42
Synergy: Winner Overdrive
Synergy: Perfection Manifestation
Synergy: Preordained Vitality
Synergy: Master of the World
Synergy: Subconscious Mastery
Synergy: Heaven Shaking Power
Synergy: Harmonic Conflux
I also realized looking back now, that I am already in my third cycle of it. Huh, time flies, dosenāt it.
Oh, and this brings me to last week, when I once again did not keep my word of never running another multistage again, and instead embarked upon yet another journey, now with the fresh-out-of-the-oven searing hot Dragon Reborn Red. Huzzzah!
Having run it for a week now I must say I am very, very satisfied with that decision. I especially love the rebellious scripting of Red, as it meshes with my freedom-loving Sagittarius personality surprisingly well.
But something was missingā¦
Indeed, I still had things I needed to do. Both in the real world (like finding another jobā¦) but also more soul-crushing shadow work, and aligning myself with what continuously calls to me which is the Spiritual Path, and more specifically that of exploring the nature of reality (and superreality) through dreams. This meant that while I would let the Red Dragon burn away the old (new?) deadwood, and The Oculus would superchage any manifestation, visualization, creative abilities and also my dream skillz, I still needed something to keep me company for the journey ahead. Something more down-to-earth, but also reaching for the sky at the same time.
So I decided. Truly, it was not so much of a decision but more an actualization of a previous intent. See, I cannot describe how well Emperor Black felt back then. It was the subliminal to express and align myself with my nature as a Scorpio Ascendant, both in intensity but also proclivity to self-reflection and shadow work, and authentic, no-BS radical self-acceptance and diligence to work through it. I remember it also provided much-needed dicipline last time I ran it, and I am in dire need of that right now. But Emperor Black would not be enough to carry me through this journey. No, I needed something to balance all that. Somethingā¦ heavenward. So of course that would be Hero: Origins. And now with Synergy I could finally cram everything that I wanted and then-some into a custom.
But hey, thatās not all of it! Because why settle with merely two artisan cores and an overload of synergy modules, when you can have three artisan cores and an overload of synergy modulesā¦!?
So yes, I argued indeed that including Revelation of Dreams in this endeavor would create a veritable triumvirate of Earth, Heaven, and the In-between - should I survive it. Indeed, this is a start of a new journey. A sojourn beyond the dark forest. Across the mountaintops, and into the depths of the self. This isā¦
"The Wandering Prince: Origins"
Emperor Black
Hero Origins
Revelation of Dreams
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
Epigeneticās & DNA Modulator
Dream Traveler
New Dawn
Achillesā Heel
Kingās Radiance
Mystery
Job Seeker
Synergy: Carpe Vitam
Synergy: Tale of the Dragon
Synergy: Iron Law
Synergy: Breath of the Storms
Synergy: Semper Praesens
Synergy: At The Top
Synergy: Inescapable Gaze
Synergy: Machine Totality
Over all I am satisfied with this build, but I am also terrified (and for good reason!).
Needless to say, I will be very careful when I start using this, and I know the journey will be rough. The order is placed so Iāll get it after the weekend most-likely. Needless to say, I will be the responsible adult that I am (?!) and start with microloops, as is custom.
And lastlyā¦
May ye tremble as the sky shatters, for I have included Synergy: Tale of the Dragon. As I run this custom expect a terrifying, crackling, and even unreasonable increase of terribly formulated puns and dad-jokes. I implore you to run, for Dragon Reborn: Puns is already upon you!
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You have been ambitious and business.
This is not advice. Itās not an official SC recommendation. That was a thought.
If you use that idea, please notice how it works for you compared to 1 rest day.
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Ah, but of course. Itās more of exploring a different approach - tweaking the amount of exposure and processing time.
Iāll take note of how it works out and report back! 
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Reading through the Khan Black forum thread have me really thinking.
Years ago when I first got interested in the subject of Kundalini I thought that it was pretty straightforward, even if difficult. I even scoffed at the notion of the traditional gatekeeping of nebulous and far-away gurus, and I figured āthis will merely take a few years to achieveāā¦ Hah! Such folly. Such ignorance. This is The Work. Indeed, a work of an entire lifetimeā¦ I yielded my quickfixitus and resigned. For now I am satisfied with the notion of ābetter livingā through these practices. Iāll do the work, and if Iāll get there Iāll get there.
It would seem Iāve grown wiser over the years, and now I get it. Even though I hate it, I get it.
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The custom arrived this weeked. Iāve only ran it once so far, but boy is it smooth. Even if my body is tired, I felt my spirit rise to indomitable levels, and my inner frame became rock solid.
Just as planned.
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Been running TWPO for a cycle now and it truly delivers. Although, I had to drop the Oculus this last cycle. It was too much with two customs and DRED st1 simultaneously. I was able to get 3 cycles of the Oculus in total, and I will start to re-introduce it with micro loops soon when DRED settles a bit.
And also, Iāve been wondering why Iāve felt like absolute crap for the past 4 weeks. Well. Iāve just completed 2 cycles of DRED st1 so thatās why
I am really looking forward to start DRED stage 2 next week. In fact this is the perfect time for me to run DR again and prepare me for whatās coming. 2025 will be a year of absolute victory.
Just as planned.
EDIT: Also, when the new ME drops Iām gonna revamp the Oculus. Cut out a number of synergy-modules and make it a lot lighter and more focused and stream-lined with the Limitless and Ascension Chamber cores. Itās going to be bloody amazing.
And speaking of ME, Iām just gonna drop this here for future reference:
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I started DRED st2 last week, and I realize now how difficult stage 1 actually was. Glad thatās over with.
Also, by a mere chance of an odd synchronicity I was bestowed a card from a card collecting game, a ālegendaryā creature aptly named Flubs, the Fool. The picture of the card is a Frog, in the image of The Fool from the Tarot. Itās a silly card, for sure.
But The Fool, is no fool. It bears meaning of embarking on an adventure and sojourn, with a bit of naive optimism perhaps, not knowing what lies ahead, but facing the unknown nonetheless. But what it also means, for an older Fool, is that weāve already been here before: weāve completed one āfools journey through the major arcanaā. A journey that āendsā with the World card, where the Fool reenters the world, older and possibly (hopefully) a bit wiser. But the journey doesnāt end here, as the Fool soon embarks on another foolās/heroās journey of growth and adventure once more through the major arcana. Full circle.
The World
The Fool reenters the World (21), but this time with a more complete understanding. He has integrated all the disparate parts of himself and achieved wholeness. He has reached a new level of happiness and fulfillment.
The Fool experiences life as full and meaningful. The future is filled with infinite promise. In line with his personal calling, he becomes actively involved in the world. He renders service by sharing his unique gifts and talents and finds that he prospers at whatever he attempts. Because he acts from inner certainty, the whole world conspires to see that his efforts are rewarded. His accomplishments are many.So the Foolās Journey was not so foolish after all. Through perseverance and honesty, he reestablished the spontaneous courage that first impelled him on his search for Self, but now he is fully aware of his place in the world. This cycle is over, but, the Fool will never stop growing. Soon he will be ready to begin a new journey that will lead him to ever greater levels of understanding.
So getting this card, The Fool, out of nowhere pretty much confirmed what I was already feeling, that one journey is now done, and soon Iāll be off having another adventure.
But what really got me about this card was the flavor text:
āHe knows exactly where heās going and exactly how he isnāt getting there.ā
And that hit me hard. And I mean really-silly-metaphor-in-the-guts-kind of hard.
But more importantly, Iāve now found my Archetype.
And itās name
is Flubs.
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