Any other HSPs on here?

The Emperor's Lounge
#43

I think part of being HSP is response to external stimulus. So those of us who are HSP are at increased risk of abnormal brain development as kids if we encounter unpleasant situations. Higher reactivity makes the painful stuff more painful and the fear that comes with it stronger. Also I’d think being raised to understand your own highly sensitive nature vs getting tossed into the deep end of society would go a long way towards a better relationship with it.

Learning to separate the high sensitivity vs the painful associations has been the hard part for me at least. I think the overactive amygdala might be a symptom of unresolved emotional regulation as a HSP, but not necessarily a direct cause of being a HSP

#44

An opinion to which I have sympathy.

I grew up around a sub-culture that had some “warrior” qualities. And the US culture in general does have some of this tendency: hardy, resilient, adventuresome, extraverted. “Takes a licking and keeps on ticking”. “Doesn’t take no for an answer.” “These colors don’t run.” and so on.

How we value various traits is often powerfully shaped by the social and cultural norms that we internalized in our formative years.

So, I can definitely relate to seeing High Sensitivity as a weakness.

In my own personal journey (pun intended), I’ve literally needed to travel around the world and to get an appreciation of how many different ways people can live. I needed it because the environment of my youth was not quite so friendly to the qualities of my innate disposition.

Dragon Reborn has been bringing me back to this. To face it and to reframe it. I need to be effective as me. To live life as me. Someone else’s dream, someone else’s values, someone else’s needs are not going to work as a substitute for my own.

#45

This might be a highly personal subject for you, but I figured I’d ask. Do you feel like you developed a thicker skin because of that? Or is it something you’ve had to unpack more in a adulthood?

Almost every day I wonder what would have happened to me if I was in a more unfriendly environment growing up. Sort of a sink or swim thing. If I would leave it having built up more courage or if it would have a lasting impact on my mental health.

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#46

Both and.

I pushed myself and tried to push myself. The results? uhh…Debatable.

One of my painful experiences was of my first girlfriend looking me in the face and saying, “I think you gave up a long time ago.”

:no_mouth: “Shit.” “Really?!!”

I remember as a teenager going to the barbershop where young men would perform their identities. (Similar to the sportsground.) They called me ‘star man’ in there, because I must have seemed to be not quite on the same planet. haha. I agreed.

I am definitely a work in progress.

But I think I eventually found my own warrior. I think the true war is the war against despair. That’s a war I’m willing to fight.

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#47

One of my kids is a supposed HSP. And it sucks ass. Basically, my life in regards to that kid ends up being one of my walking on eggshells so often because otherwise they’ll get upset and cry.

Wouldn’t be bad if it were a two-way street. This kid has no qualms telling me stuff that even though I say I don’t wanna discuss X, they keep on and on. But then if I respond with something they don’t agree with, I’m being “mean and insensitive.” UGH.

So to any HSPs here, I know the struggle is real. I’m just glad I’m not that way (as far as I know anyway).

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#48

Ugh, the “man up” mindset… I definitely experienced that kind of treatment. Get injured in gym class? “walk it off!” or “suck it up, princess”. Horrible school, horrible town. I left as soon as I could.

My aim is to minimize the hypervigilance I experience, as even something as simple as a cyclist going past me with a strobe light on is often enough to give me a migraine, and even though I sleep with 34dB earplugs rated for a SHOOTING RANGE, I can still hear my daughter at night better than my wife… who sleeps without earplugs. A ringing phone causes my heart rate and blood pressure to jump… although I seem to have blocked out whatever psychological reason I had for that; it’s not every loud sound, it’s specific to a ringing phone… and I don’t recall why.

I’m intrigued by Stephen Porges’ “Safe and sound” protocol, but my focus is more on the qEEG/NF approach, as that’s where I personally have more experience.

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#49

hahaha.

I can feel your pain. sounds like a pain in the ass. Especially to a dad.

Whether a person is HSP or non-HSP, part of growing up is owning your own experiences and taking responsibility for your own power.

I remember vividly back in 2004 when it suddenly struck me like a lightning out the blue sky: ‘The most dangerous person in this life is the one who feels he is a victim.’

Why?

Because this person is highly likely to be really blind to the ways that he or she is harming someone else. “How can I be hurting anyone when I’m the victim??”

There’s no characteristic or condition (not High Sensitivity, not anything else) that is an excuse for avoiding the work of owning your power and using it as well as you can. We just have different paths to take to get to that point.

Well, you can always try just saying “Boo!”. That usually takes 'em out. HSPs.

or do one of these:

bussa screaming

It’s the very rare HSP who will keep talking through that. haha.

That’s a very quick way to get me onto another continent.

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#50

A useful video for some HSP men:

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#51

No one should take people or Society at simple face value.

The Universe and Nature do not work by face value.

But…

a highly sensitive person can afford even less than average to take people and society at face-value.

That is a recipe for great suffering.

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#52

What do you mean by this in this context?

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#53

Displays

Façades

Postures

Illusions

This from the front:

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This from the back:

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This when dry:

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This when wet:

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Not a conspiracy, just the way things usually work.

We tend to be invested in portraying a particular image or inspiring a particular reaction or response.

So we put together the least number of elements that can create the most generalized and global desired impression.

Not yet:

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Almost:

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Good Enough:

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Not only humans. This runs through the entire animal and plant kingdoms.

There’s a reason many insects evolve the same physical appearances as the trees and plants with which they live (and vice versa).

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There’s a reason that some nonpoisonous snakes mimic the appearance of poisonous snakes.

And this Octopus does a very credible sea snake:

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The reason? face value.

Literally, the value of one’s face.

When creating the right impression is inordinately celebrated and rewarded, it increases the incentive and the motivation to take shortcuts. Or just to straight-up lie.

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(Formal wear, Zoom-style)

We all do this to some extent on various levels.

I think the most effective facades are the ones that we don’t even realize we are constructing.

But it is very important to realize what’s happening. And to gradually build our capacity to discern with greater accuracy and insight.

This is especially important for those who stand to suffer great losses if taken in by the illusion.

The more we recognize it, the more we can ‘enjoy the show’ rather than being completely fooled by it.

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#54

There’s an Alcoholics Anonymous saying:

Don’t judge your insides by other people’s outsides.

People tend to hide their weaknesses, limitations, and their feelings of inferiority on the inside, away from public view.

Nothing wrong with that.

But all or most of us can still feel, quite clearly in ourselves, many of those parts of us that are “hidden” on the inside.

We are aware of our feelings, but we only see others’ faces.

It’s important to remember that behind the outside faces we see, there are many, many feelings sitting inside.

Some people are less adept at hiding some of their weaknesses or limitations. Their shortcomings may be relatively more exposed compared to the average person.

If these people make the mistake of believing that others actually are the way that their faces appear to be, they can really suffer a great deal.

“Why am I the only one in the world who feels this!!!”

On the other hand, when they realize that, despite external appearances or impressions, we all have our various characteristics and limits, they can take the necessary further step of learning to accept and embrace who they are. Learning to use their characteristics more effectively.

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#55

image

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#56

Sounds like some very expensive retreat… I have read about headset such as Muse headset for neurofeedback. Is neurofeedback something worth looking into? Do you kow about Muse?

#57

The Muse is very unreliable at recording brain waves. I have a few pics of a session back in 2021:

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Absolute amplitudes

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Left vs. right

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Front vs. back

I was awake (eyes closed), so I have no idea if the Delta activity is real or from artifacts from eye movements. I had a jaw clench in the beginning, marked with a “J”. Then “BF” meaning “Bad Fit”, followed by “GF” meaning “Good Fit.” This happens a lot with the Muse. It’s pretty hopeless.

Neurofeedback is amazingly interesting. I wonder if @BLACKICE attended the Biocybernaut Institute’s alpha training.

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#58

So you’re saying neurofeedback is a good concept but not readily available for home use?

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#59

Yes, exactly.

The best system for home use is perhaps the Mind Mirror (not to be confused with Mind Monitor which is an app used with Muse), but it is expensive, I think. It’s usually considered the state of the art system for spiritual/meditation neurofeedback.

Here’s the link to the Mind Mirror system: https://www.themindmirror.com/.

Here’s the link to the Biocybernaut Institute, which also offers spiritual neurofeedback: https://www.biocybernaut.com

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#60

Thanks!

this is another ballpark altogether

$2k

$20k

Yeah pretty steep … :open_mouth:

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#61

Yeah. It’s a really interesting technology, and Biocybernaut Institute has done a lot of scientific studies and research, I think in collaboration with the US Army. But . . . they also say garlic is toxic for the brain and makes you look brain-dead, which I somehow doubt.

At least they used to say that. It seems they updated the article by now.

EDIT: No, here it is!

The reason garlic* is so toxic is that it contains the sulphone* hydroxyl* ion that penetrates the blood-brain barrier, just like DMSO [a sulfoxide*], and this sulphone hydroxyl ion is a specific poison for higher-life forms and brain cells. We discovered this, much to our horror, when I (Bob Beck, DSc) was a manufacturer of EEG [electroencephalography*] equipment.

We’d have people in our testing programs come back from lunch and we would find that their brains looked clinically dead on an encephalograph, which we used to calibrate their progress. We would ask, “Well, what happened?” They would say, “Well, I went to an Italian restaurant and there was some garlic in my salad dressing!” So we had them sign things promising that they wouldn’t touch garlic before classes or we were wasting their time, their money, and my time.

I find it a bit ridiculous.

#62

This topic got activated again by people typing a few comments. I went back and read this again and smiled. :slightly_smiling_face:

Just want to send love and light to you and your fam.

:peace_symbol:

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