Alexander The R.I.C.H. Trader

[Forexpreneur]

I’m a very curious person and love finding answers to things that interest me or I think can be useful in my life.

My having a “Matrix Ability” out of nowhere (which I really haven’t had since my soccer days (“football” for those outside the US) because this is something I’d like to further develop. This can have a HUGE positive effect in my trading, but of course in general life also.

So I went through (I’m going to call the sections in major title “modules” because that is often where the modules for customs comes from) all the modules in PEACE and there are a couple that really stood out as the potential cause.

Effortless Action : Helps you set down the strain you’ve always layered on top of your work, while the work itself stays exactly as capable. Act without striving; work without forcing — not an excuse to do less, but an instruction to do it without the war attached.

In your working life: the task still gets finished, often better, and it stops costing you the whole of yourself to finish it. [end of description]

This absolutely seems to fit, however, I’m convinced it’s a couple of things combined AND one of the things about Ascension Chamber is that you use it to consciously direct your stack. So I literally will repeat something that I’m striving for and I envision the outcome I want and try to include positive emotions with it, which you can’t always do, but most of the time.

So with Ascension Chamber the goal I set was to “be calm when I’m looking at my charts while trading in order to see what the markets are telling me”. Sure I could say “detach” which is the goal but it made more sense to say it the way I did.

The racing games aren’t charts, but the mind has to learn it and it’s often recommended in the Pro-tips section to take little actions steps. For example, if you want to instill calmness well go to a place that at least mildly makes you “un-calm” (not really a word but bear with me). It’s because you want to build that muscle so to speak.

So playing games has NOTHING to do with trading and I will play them often to unwind and have fun although some can outright piss me off at times but then when I get past a point they are fun and help me unwind.

One other module in PEACE that could have caused my “Matrix” ability (aka being In The Zone) is

The Water That Carves: Cultivates real potency from real stillness — the capacity to act decisively from a settled place instead of a spike of pressure. Nothing is softer than water, and nothing wears down stone the way it does.

In practice, the decision that used to take a full day of grinding starts arriving whole, and the largest thing on your list gets met directly, without the runway of dread. [end of description]

Plus I used DRReg for a few months; GLM for a round and a half or two (can’t remember now) and a couple of others. Things could have come up from my subconscious along with PEACE.

Ultimately I’m putting all my basic thoughts here because I want to cultivate this “Matrix Ability”. This is why PEACE really appealed to me in the first place. Not the “Matrix Ability” because I forgot about being in the zone, but the overall theme.

If you look at all the subs I’m using, I’m going after the same two things. Healing my general life due to the effects of child abuse (CPTSD and the other “growth opportunities” that comes with it) and getting my trading life together. I’m laser focused on that.

THEN, once those are in place, then and only then, will I move on and work on the romance part of my life. Plus I want to build a business and a non-profit charity eventually working with adult survivors of child abuse and eventually helping abused children.

None of that can happen if I don’t have a healed core (what I call my “Foundation”) and none of that can really happen if I don’t have a nice personal life with a decent amount of money. A nice house to call my own in a quiet area, etc.

[Forexpreneur]

Today was a very interesting revelation and change of reaction (within me personally) that I’m attributing to PEACE and a couple of SubClub subs from the past.

My Mom asked me to come over because she was having problems with her computer. She said she’d make dinner and I wasn’t going to argue. I love my Mom, she is the only direct family I have left. But there is all kinds of a past, which I WON’T go into much at all in this post except what’s directly related.

She’s making dinner and something simple happens and she flies off the handle and it’s this big commotion like a friking hurricane (cyclone), earthquake, tsunami, and tornado all go off at once (very typical growing up).

This wasn’t anything major that happened and understand it comes out of nowhere. I’ve mentioned briefly that she’s a survivor of domestic violence and I do know, which is typical, that there was all kinds of not good things that happened during her childhood.

Here’s the thing. Sure, I’m “used” to this and frankly expect it, and normally when something like this happens it triggers my PTSD and I react in different ways (I have had multiple reactions over the years, basically the whole fight, flight response). She said things directly to me, about me, etc, which was also very typical growing up.

But overall I wasn’t triggered much. Sure, there was a little, but normally I’d be triggered and I’d have the elevated heart rate for a while, and would be pissed as can be, honestly sometimes for hours. Sure I was never stuck just in the anger and not able to do anything, but the anger would still be there inside and would just be boiling for hours after being triggered.

I wasn’t hit much by the CPTSD symptoms at all and my baseline was detaching from it, watching it and telling myself, yep, that’s Mom. But I just watched it. Let her say her shit and get all angry and do what she does. But I did not take an ounce of it personally.

The revelation part of it is how this added to CPTSD symptoms (sure I knew it, but never really looked at it). I’m not holding blame. It is what it is. It certainly didn’t help my life, that’s for sure. I don’t enjoy it. Normally it brings up all kinds of past trauma, etc.

But this time I just automatically detached and let it be and then let it go. But I don’t mean detached and “numbed out”. I’ve never done that. It just didn’t bother me because I knew it wasn’t anything I did or anything about me.

There is a “module” within PEACE titled The End of Contending
And here is the description:
Zhuangzi tells of a man crossing a river who flew into a rage when another boat struck his — until he saw the second boat was empty, and his anger vanished on the spot. This helps soften the thousand small collisions you didn’t notice you were braced for: the slow line, the careless remark, the way things simply are. Most of what provokes you is closer to an empty boat than you think.

In daily life, a pause opens in front of the old flare, and you find yourself choosing which collisions deserve you. Almost none do. Your boundaries hold without the armor. [End of description]

This is what is sounds like to me. Again, I always try to figure things out and “how they fit”. It’s just the way I’m wired and I’m at peace with it (no pun intended).

But here is another interesting thing since yesterday: I believe three “modules” have actuated potentially in order. I could be wrong. It could be a coincidence. But it may not be. I’m not aware of experiencing this with other titles so it’s kind of a mystery ATM.

However, to me, this was another major breakthrough with the subs. This is exactly the kinds of growth and healing that I’ve been striving for for DECADES. Years of therapy didn’t do. All the other things that I so desperately tried didn’t do it.

What is just incredible to me is that some of this healing stuff is major, and it IS a big deal to me, but I’m not having to remember to use this technique or that. Hell, I didn’t even have to remember to take a breath and exhale out longer than the inhale. I friking did that automatically (that’s a trigger from PEACE that brings inner peace).

This is getting fun.

Edit: cleaned up spelling, grammar.