Advice for my son requested / How to overcome anxiety, anger and extreme introvertedness?

Questions and Comments
#1

My son, age 21, has had some pretty terrible friendships and relationship experiences, which has basically shut him down (or he has shut himself down). He basically lives in a bubble on his phone and doesn’t really communicate with anyone in any measure of depth. I’ve been trying to reach him and I know he is not happy with where he is in his life. He is very sensitive an a typical Gen Z type snowflake. He has Alpha / Sigma material in him and he definitely leans towards being Sigma, but he suffers from deep general anxiety. He hates confrontation and if forced to communicate (especially about something that isn’t comfortable) he will explode in anger. He recovers pretty quickly and apologizes, but it takes a lot out of him and he becomes even more introverted.

He has never had a girlfriend. Never has had a true, good friend. He is kind and thoughtful and a truly amazing person, but really struggles with other people (especially peers). He is conscious of this negative state that he is in and is finally opening up to me. He is able to write his thoughts and feelings down but is not able to do it face to face. So he shares the difficult things through messages. We have a good relationship and he still lives with me (single father). But we are planning on changing our lives, moving and beginning anew.

He has done SC subs for a few years, but had stopped doing them for about a year. He wants to start again and is asking for help to find healing, self-confidence, and joy again in life.

My initial thoughts was a custom of Sanguine, Genesis: Art of Happiness and Joy, and Dragon Reborn Red St 1 with some select modules. He needs healing and overcoming his anxiety. He also wants to be able to talk to other people and make friendships. Maybe new Inner Circle along with the custom? I’m not sure.

Any and all thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

#2

Start simple maybe?

True Social (for the skills based social scripting, and anti- social anxiety)

Genesis Art of Happiness and Joy (for self acceptance, joy, etc)

Sanguine (for the anti- general anxiety)

Also, introduce him to meditation, if that’s something he doesn’t do yet.

Meditating together using the 1GiantMind app, or some other non-dual based meditation, maybe a youtube video, could be a really cool father-son activity for you two to do. Could also help him process his emotions and open up more to you in person in a space space, which will in turn help him become more comfortable with himself and live authentically, which will lead to that kind of behavior outside of the home as well.

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#3

He has run the previous True Social before and it gave him terrible recon. He feels that he needs to heal the rejections and loss of friendships (and the only time he had a girlfriend for a few days and it went bad). He needs to heal from having dysfunctional parents (myself before finding SubClub three years ago) too. Maybe run the new True Social separately and sees how he handles it. He only has one friend and does not socialize so True Social might not be the best fit right now.

#4

Dragon Reborn or Khan with love bomb

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#5

Def run them separate, jumping straight into a custom with subs he hasn’t run before (since a lot has been updated in the year he’s been gone) is a surefire recipe for lots of recon that might demotivate him.

I think the updated True Social could help him break through those negative limiting beliefs, and nothing heals better than getting out there and facing the challenges.

However, you know him better than me obviously, so if you think True Social and the idea of socializing in general might be overwhelming to him, then maybe Inner Circle would be the better move.

Inner Circle would more bring people to him that “match his energy” so to speak. So possibly other introverts and loners who are seeking to grow as well, so they could cut their teeth on the whole friendship thing together.

Less “sink or swim” with Inner Circle in that regard

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#6

Also, micro loops to start for sure

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#7

Please just use one subliminal, don’t go for 2-3 ( reason simply being he needs to understand the reconciliation process for each of them and more than one will cause much stress and slower results). I think I can help you as I am of the same age. I understand the pull towards different desires and getting upset when they are not fulfilled. I really think he should start with a subliminal like Genesis Art of Happiness and Joy and just stay with it for like 3-4 months or even higher if needed.

Reason being he needs to get that foundation of internal sense of validation and the sense of fulfillment, contentment and joy. Once this foundation is achieved he can go on to whatever sub he likes.

5 Likes
#8

Ascension sounds perfect for that: maturity, self control, destroying fear of confrontation, decreasing anxiety, etc.

Other than that, I’d add Love Bomb and AOH, and then, after 3-6 cycles of those, I’d consider Dragon Reborn instead of either LB or AOH

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#9

I would not start with Dragon Reborn. These are self-worth, foundational issues. Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy and Love Bomb for Humanity. These will help trigger the positive, loving experiences he needs to break out of his shell and understand that there are people who WILL treat him with the respect and love that he deserves. Inner Circle is a good choice as well. Start with the foundation. Can’t build a strong house on a faulty foundation.

12 Likes
#10

It was my impression that Dragon Reborn was the most foundational sub for healing you could run. DR wouldn’t be the best choice for healing?

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#11

Dragon Reborn Red and Gold tends to be very intense titles. Just not suitable for someone new to SubClub and haven’t ran more beginner friendly subs.

Down the road if needed Dragon Reborn can be an option

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#13

In my honest opinion, I have tried almost all healing subs from SubClub. I have gone through the exact things your son mentions - betrayed by my friends, betrayed by girl I was deeply in love with ( this one left a deep scar on me).

I realised in my journey that if you struggle with foundational issues, healing subs will add a lot of unnecessary stress. I would always end up switching subs because of the same. Healing subs are recommended once you have the foundation right, because even healing subs require action.

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#14

I think inner circle would be best for him

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#15

Thank you everyone. I really do appreciate your insights and advice.

When I found SubClub I pretty much jumped right into Dragon Reborn from the beginning and experienced great healing with it and hardly any recon. I’m strange that way. I haven’t experienced recon unless I do extreme things (like run three multistagers at the same time), so I guess my experience is skewed.

I will encourage him to run G:AoH and LBFH by themselves. Or maybe get a NEMT with these two for him and maybe run Inner Circle with it.

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#16

Sigma is maybe the closest to how I am. Don’t actually know if there is such a thing, but still. Describes me quite well.

Emperor is the perfect sub for me.

If I was your son, I’d go with the name embedded Emperor and I’d throw in the new anti-recon module. I’d run it for a couple of years, while finding my place in the world. I’d concentrate on building a high value skillset.

I was totally lost in my twenties. A wasted decade. He has a huge advantage. You. Support and guidance.

5 Likes
#17

I’m looking forward to the new GLM. I think it would be great for him down the road after running these. Maybe it will be out by then and we can experience running it together.

#18

I agree with you. It would be a great blessing to him to run something like the new Emperor for a couple of years straight. Get his foundation for life set. I will keep this in mind as we work through this together. See how he feels about it after three to four cycles of AoH and LBFH.

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#19

Also, I know extreme introvertedness.

When I was a kid, I was afraid to talk to store clerks. Really quiet kid.

In MBTI, I’m 100% introverted.

I overcame all that, so it is possible. Sure, takes a lot of work. But it’s doable.

#20

Yep, he’s just like that. He’ll talk to a clerk if he absolutely has to, but it stresses him out. It’s hard for me to understand that. I’m getting better though and not judging him. Having more compassion. I’d say SubClub helped me save our relationship and to keep it moving forward with love and understanding. I’m eternally grateful for these subs.

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#21

LBFH/DRLD and Spartan. That’s my stack. I’m still overcoming a lot of those same kinds of things. I thought Primal was my favorite to get me to not caring or feeding the anxiety and unwanted attention kind of stuff.

Or Sanguine Elixir and one of the feel good titles.

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