September 24.2024
Listening Day 6
LE 2:19 NR 8:55
September 27.2024
Listening Day 7
Ascension 15:00 PN 15:00
September 29.2024
Listening Day 8
NR 10:54
Improved all my numbers this week.
No. Not all.
I realized I had a block with voice messages.
Internal.
I had a few serious challenges with the platforms I use as well. But that’s a different thing.
8 days since my last post.
A lot happened.
Or not.
I was suddenly unable to send voice messages. An internal block.
A lot of other challenges.
But I got back in the saddle just fast enough to evade a yellow card.
Yesterday, I had a call with 2 of my more senior teammates. Originally I asked for help, only to learn they face the same challenges.
After the call, I was unable to sleep, thinking about how hard it is atm, and doubting if I can succeed. I fel asleep at 1am, woke up at 3 soaked in sweat, overthinking and only dozing off every now and then. At 5 I was wide awake and couldn’t sleep till seven. An hour later the alarm went off.
Today, I have a 7 hour shift at the gas station only to have a call right after my return.
Sub wise, I took an involuntary washout. I just forgot to listen to subs because I was to occupied with work and worries.
Perhaps this was good and my breakdown is a kind of recon and my subconscious is processing all my past failures…
Today I’m gonna start my new cycle.
Sex wise, my fiance encouraged me to order masturbator, so I can enjoy it more as long as she’s not feeling like having sex.
But in all honesty, I can’t enjoy it. The sensation is great, but I’m not the pornaddict I used to be.
It feels shallow and superficial.
Without this deep, loving human connection, it feels kinda pointless.
It’s like eating this slime from Matrix while using a VR setup that shows me that I’m eating a great meal.
All fake.
3 Likes
I also noticed, that my frequency (Hawkins) makes a difference.
I noticed that while watching Dr. House, with the all the drama, it was hard getting results, but while listening to classical music or even while watching a church service in TV, it was rather easy.
3 Likes
8th October 2024
Listening Day 1
LE ??? NR 2:49
LE: A couple of minutes, then I hit rewind and it started from the beginning and I immediately felt the ping.
1 Like
10th October 2024
Listening Day 2
Ascension
Work wise it’s challenging.
I face a challenge, asked teammates, they face the same challenge.
Asked my CEO. He just said smiling “You already know all that you need to succeed” like a wise guru.
Made me furious for a second.
I don’t know how I will solve it, but I know I will.
I won a few inner battles this week and boosted my performance in a few sectors I didn’t do well the last fortnight.
I only know, that I’m willing to eat all this shit on my way to master akquisition so I can rise to setting and start earning some money.
I’m about two months in now.
My team leader said, he needed about 8 months to earn good money, our salesperson of the month needed 6 months.
Not giving up is key.
I WILL NOT SURRENDER
5 Likes
12th October 2024
Listening Day 3
LE 5:24
14th October 2024
Listening Day 4
LB 15:00 Ascension 12:47
One of the more productive days of the last weeks.
Starting to catch up with all the old stuff I procrastinated on, started to work on them, but now finally the tax thing is about to be solved.
And they even said, they might be able to cancel the fines.
Felt like listening to LB for a few days now. So I threw in a loop today.
Need to make a few important phone calls tomorrow morning since I have a few banking problems and I need to know if my money arrived or not.
1 Like
I feel a certain pull towards Limit Destroyer recently. @Viktor loves it for productivity. @Jouissance liked it as well.
I don’t know, if it’s recon that I’m considering changing my stack or whatever.
I felt miserably the last couple of days. Almost a bit depressed. Could be LE working on my procrastination and productivity issues.
I don’t know.
DRLD has a lot of features I like. Also it’s rather new, got released after Genesis.
It feels like, I don’t need pure productivity. Rather like destroying inner limitations that keep me from being productive.
Like I’m already productive, from my personality, but some trauma or whatever put a limiter on myself. That needs to be gone .
Or is this the way LE works as well?
Anyone some insights/ opinions?
1 Like
I know you own Phoenix, how about throwing in some mini loops of that to clear the weeds and gain some extra clarity? It’s fast acting.
I was at such a low point while running Phoenix that I can’t remember anything. Only that it lead to running LB.
I wasn’t even able to journal at that time.
I would need to reread some more on phoenix before even considering it.
Perhaps I’ve written something in the phoenix thread.
2 Likes
16th October 2024
Listening Day 3
LE 15:00 LB ???
Since I started LB again, I feel like quitting smoking again (I started again after 2 months smoke free).
Or at least there are thoughts popping up in my head about quitting.
1 Like
18th October 2024
Listening Day 4
Ascension 15:00 Emperor 15:00
Felt like running a loop of Emperor. Have a slight headache now.
A few posts above, I mentioned how I’m considering Limit Destroyer for my productivity issue. But since I wasn’t sure, I opened a ticket about it with the following questions:
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Does Ascension contain productivity scripting?
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In how far can Ascension boost productivity?
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I was productive until my burnout nine years ago. So it feels like my productivity is there, but blocked by some trauma. Would Limit destroyer be better in that case? I was thinking like destroying the block I created after my burnout so my natural productivity can return.
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Will LE dig through this block as well and easily as LD?
1 Like
22nd October 2024
Listening Day 5
LB 6:30 LE 7:00
I noticed that I still have some inner blocks.
So today I had a long conversation with my fiancee.
I found a lot of fears holding me back.
Fear of the unknown: success, freedom, self worth, independence, others recognizing my success and a lot more.
All experiences I don’t know yet.
At the beginning of the conversation I felt a boiling pit in my solar plexus. The more fears I found and expressed, the more it became calm.
2 Likes
24th October 2024
Listening Day 6
Ascension 15:00 AA 15:00
I felt like throwing in a refreshing loop of Abundance Architect yesterday, so I did it.
Listened straight before sleeping.
Intense dreams again. Woke up a few times, but nothing special.
I had some troubles with my online banking, needed to get a new PIN and took them two weeks. I was worried if I have enough money to pay my bills, but yesterday I was finally able to log in and realized, it’s a tight fit, but nothing to worry.
On the positive side there have been a few nice developments. Not only did a request with a insurance go through an I’ll get some money extra each month, but I’ll also get a back pay of the difference from the I moment I made the request.
Also the IRS problem is almost solved without having to pay to much extra. So another 600 bucks in fines saved.
Only job wise I wasn’t that productive. But I felt really how all this other stuff held me back. I had a 5 cm stack of letters that I opened yesterday. That cost me a lot of energy and I procrastinated long on it. Only to realize it was nothing serious.
Stack wise I’m considering exchanging Ascension for LB for a cycle or two until I can make my Ascension + LB custom.
Perhaps a mix of Bloom and DSL (two of the customs I’ve sketched)
So my next stack could be a mix of
LB + LE + DRLD + PR
26th October 2024
Listening Day 7
DR Limit Destroyer 15:00 LE 12:30
After experiencing a major throw back yesterday and some serious discouragment, I had a fight with my fiancee this evening.
About how I am not in my masculine energy and am forcing her in a mother role.
Despite a lot of emotional crap and projection from her side, I knew there was truth in it as well.
I worked a lot on the emotional causes of my procrastination, but it only got worse.
She said it doesn’t work at all.
I believe, that it is getting worse while digging through a lot of layers. I learned so much about why I’m procrastinating. About all the fears.
That was the moment I decided to get Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer.
To destroy all the limitations from my past. To get my drive and ambition back.
I asked for a ping, but it never came. Only while running LE I felt it distinctively.
I’m sub hopping quite a lot atm. I know that.
Is this due to all the change and the challenges?
But the 4 sub stack mentioned above just feels right.
LB is hitting deep.
LE… I don’t see any results yet. But after years of wasting my life, there’s a lot to work through.
DRLD just feels right from the sales copy. I even checked Phoenix again, if it would be better, but it didn’t click. I need these limitations gone for good.
PR is obvious. Besides getting back into my masculine energy and taking more action, I think this will help my relationship a lot.
Saturday I saw an add for an app called Liven.
It described how I feel perfectly.
It’s an app about Dopamin addiction.
After a short research, I decided against the app.
But I knew, that I need a Dopamin Detox to reset my brain and my Dopamin circuit.
So I’m cutting out a lot for the next months.
No social Media (private, need it for work), no gaming, no tv, no alcohol, no audiobooks.
No Forum.
I’m still figuring out the details, but I will keep a offline journal and post it in here either once a week or only after November.
It’s gonna be a No-Dopamin-November.
I think it’s a result from DRLD because this Dopamin addiction is definitely a limitation I placed upon myself.
So good bye, see you in December 
4 Likes
All the best for your dopamine detox. See you soon!
I’m already 3 weeks out of my detox and back into forum action, but procrastinated on moving my journal from Notion to here. Now, to procrastinate from work, I can start this endeavor.
A lot happened. Much more than I would have thought possible. So much that I forgot to journal but Life was just to fast at times. So I’ll try to search my memory to amend some posts. Not for you, but for myself. I need a journal to reread what happened during this period when I’ll reflect on my progress at some point next year.
I will comment on my journal, using [text in brackets and in italic ].
And I’l probably start another Dopamine Detox January first. A bit lighter than the last one, like with access to the forum, but with restricted access. Also using gray scale for my phone and more restriction on social media, especially telegram groups I use for news. Saint inspired me a bit on this one. Nothing to loose. The most obvious stuff someone will tell me anyways.