ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#635

Day 21: 3 min SI, 5 min CFW

I just read through GLM thread and it just seems like the better title for me, before I try Chosen again I think.

No feeling like I need an extended washout anymore since dropping Alchemist Singularity to 30 seconds.

Maybe I’ll just try Beast Unleashed to reignite the momentum in my workouts after having a couple off weeks.

Lol now I’m thinking Chosen again. Chosen at 30 seconds and just slow roll it.

I saw jealousy in myself yesterday. I was looking at people and noticed I was jealous. Maybe deep down that part of me that thinks it was wounded just sees them as being able to have normal lives, and jobs without getting the hassle and unwanted attention that I did. I guess basically I see people in general as being programmed for the conflict, and so they almost thrive on it. In fact they create it out of thin air because that’s the program.

Jealousy is not something I ever saw in myself, maybe like once or twice. So that might tell me that we did get deep with Alchemist Singularity. Oh that’s what it must be.

Recently I was finally accepting that yea for whatever reason some people are jealous and that’s part of the unwanted attention stuff I had to deal with from others. Just a case where generally people can’t see what the real cause of their upsets and triggers is, it’s not actually the event. But so many people believe that the outer is what controls their inner. It looked like that to me too when I was getting harassed and stuff. If only they could see beyond their program they’d leave me alone. But I also had to realize that yea, no changing them, unfortunately walking away was the best thing.

Many people get stuck in lives, and jobs they feel like they can’t get out of, thus compounding their experienced misery which they’ll then project onto others.

I am still basically hermit mode loner and sometimes still get anxiety just going out around people. So I think Chosen is probably good because it gets that positive attention, and in conjunction with the inner work will go along away for me.

———

Just saw this cool post. It said something like, you never see guys who actually compete in sports argue about working out or exercises. It’s the ones whose only physical activity is being in the gym who are the triggered ones.

Evenings

I was into some anger today. Not the external act out kind. Just that I rose up past the anxiety. Upward progress on the emotional scale.

I decide at work I need to do KB again. But then I realized that, yea, it’s Sanguine time. It’s too close to the holidays to try more healing. Sanguine is the best bet.

I want life to be fun again. Before the crab bucket tried to pull me down and stomp me out. So I’ll be looking at Primal again. I still have to consider new GLM.

I’m feeling like it’s time to dust off Primal and give it another run. Trade CFW for Primal. I felt like that title was pretty good to get rid of anxiety as well. Also not being bothered or worried with what other people might think of me.

So it looks like I’ll keep AS. AS with CFW healing was a bit much. So in theory I should be fine with Primal instead of CFW.

#636

Day 1 of 5: No listening

A little of the feel goods today. So at that rate I’ll have to keep CFW and SI in the stack. Planning to trade AS for Primal starting next cycle. I think I’ll keep all titles at 30 seconds for a cycle just for a bit of a breather and to give some space for any processing queue.

With new Wanted looking so irresistible, I think Primal is the way to go. It’ll lay some groundwork and plus it’s said to be a title that may be more well rounded in terms of applications.

Maybe I’ll go with new GLM though. Seems like it’s the ticket for what I most need right now.

Alright, GLM locked and loaded into the playlist. GLM wins.

Nights

Having some feelings come up now. So I decided to do a 15 day washout. Last one was 4-5 months ago, where i took at least 10 days off.

Was feeling good the first few hours of the day. Now I just feel like I’d rather be in bed sleeping. I did get a full night sleep, like 9 hours. I’ve probably had some deep work going on in in the unconscious background with AS and CFW.

I saw this man the other day. It just hit me that even though he has more money than me, he probably has a family, wife and kids. That he wasn’t higher status then me, certainly not energetically. Maybe some CFW/AS insight. I think that’s part of why I was never able to fit into work situations. School was fine, had friends, only when I had to work did I have these toxic people situations. I think that they could see something in me, an yet in my reality I never saw myself as any different than anyone else. So they could see my potential and wanted to stomp that out. These were more of the lifers at jobs who wanted to move up in those worlds. I never did because of the people issues.

I always felt like my main issues with toxic people started after I went the spiritual route. I wanted that happiness that depends on no other or outer. I got a taste of that and in this world, that was wrong, even though the people who said the bad things about me, were the ones saying and doing the bad things!

End of Nights

Definitely a rest and recuperate day. No workout. My plan was to hit the ground running this week. But Monday might be a day off, it has been for a few weeks.

Maybe the energy is still working through blocks or something.

Depending on how the 5 days goes. I might just do next cycle with 2 titles. Unless I end up taking more than five days off. I do feel like CFW and SI would be great alone for a cycle. It’d give me some time off AS then I could start GLM in 2 cycles.

#637

Day 2 of 5: No listening

Today I just went for it and slept as long as I could. I probably got 10 hours.

I was kind of exhausted the last two nights around bed time.

Going to get the bike ride in and mobility first thing. I think it is better for me to start my day with my workout. Then I have it done. Still have some resistance to just doing it for some reason.

I feel like 15 days off subs would be good for me. I would like to get my energy back. On the libido front I feel like I still have some. But I think it’s still getting transmuted working on some healing or something. I’m finally starting to let the eggplant title be a possibility. I’d like to wake up with that strong eggplant. Lately I don’t have those strong morning oaks and as a man, I just want that back. Again I don’t have any release, don’t feel the need or desire. So I’m on like another 30 day run of no pmo. Not planned just happening and in progress.

Maybe I will go forward with just Sanguine and SI when I start up again. Take a little breather to finish out the year. Lately feeling like I need lots of rest again.

I got a 3 card oracle reading from this lady I know on the social media. Normally I don’t get readings, they’ve never been accurate for me. But this one was. It saw something like I like to be independent and don’t connect with the crowd, what everybody else is into. That I might be being called to leadership in a way. I forget the rest. But it was just accurate for me.

Today I feel like I could push the washout to 30 days. I’ll take it day by day. I think 15 for sure just to washout and reset a bit. I’ll even consider sticking with CFW of course, and I think it’ll be either Sanguine or Genesis Joy for the third title to finish the year.

End of Nights

I had some slight loneliness come up. Also there’s been some of that thing where I’m just not attracted to women I was anymore. Tonight I realized that I’d say I have more of a full palette of emotions. So that would correlate with CFW. Maybe I was a bit blocked up and that’s why so much anxiety in the past.

Here’s the CFW objective:

Develop the ability to automatically harness your emotions — positive and negative — to inspire those you lead to achieve their maximum potential

Also I would say I’ve been feeling burnt out lately. No workout today. Just the bike ride.

I want to let CFW and SI do some work. So I’ll definitely be dropping AS. But I might actually go with Beast at 30 seconds for some of that primal energy boost.

I was also thinking that I haven’t been taking 2 weeks off before switching titles. So I might want to start doing that from now on. I think knowing that I’d have to take 2 weeks off would make me have to be really sure I want to drop or add a title.

I was also thinking today that maybe I need to just get outside more. Definitely been staying indoors almost all the time lately. So I’ll have a cigar under the stars tonight just to wind down.

I’ve also found that at times my vibe is a slight positive one. So CFW is definitely at work. I would like to finish out the year on it for sure.

#638

Day 3 of No Listening

7 hours of sleep. Feeling a little positive again so far today.

Feeling optimistic and maybe like Chosen would be a good third title for the rest of the year. I plan on Wanted and GLM and either KB or Alchemist starting the new year.

So I can get some good work in with CFW/Chosen in the meantime.

Yea, I’m feeling some aliveness today. Like things are possible.

Welp, seems like a good time to be on Survival Instinct. Things appear to be heating up in the political people world. Maybe we’ll get one of those fall/winter’s of “love” as they say.

Just skimmed the Chosen copy. It says it helps build deep connections. Ideally I’d pair it with IC, but for now I think yea, it looks like I’ll be happy with it. Ironic since I have a circle of zero at the moment, lol. I realize it may be best to meet new people anyway, I have to let go of hope that it’d be a good thing to have all my old friends back. It’s been proven to me time and time again, that that’s not the direction to go. Anybody who wanted to stay in touch, well there are none. I used to be the put in the effort, loyal guy. But many of them get caught up in the typical drama type stuff with no aspirations for inner work and those higher aspirations that would probably leave one the odd man out from the crowd.

I finally saw the phenomenon yesterday, where I was driving by. And an old lady standing in front of her house was standing with her arms crossed. We made eye contact, and I guess she sensed my vibe, and then kind of dropped her hands to her sides. Going from that maybe guarded to open posture. That’s something I’d seen the first time I ran Chosen, CFW, SI. Where some people would pick up on my vibe and sort of let their guard down.

Chosen & Wanted would be a whole new ballgame. Man.

I realize that Chosen, CFW, and SI might be my titles. I really could have used that stack back in my toxic work situations. Immune to the herd negativity and building connections with those people who saw the good in me. Maybe that good could have rubbed off with a bit of that LBFH effect, and I wouldn’t have been the sole point of projection. Maybe could have drained the will to fight out of some of the negatives, they’d have to be the ones to go elsewhere. I dunno. Just throwing spit balls while I procrastinate on working out again. I’ve been improving on the do it now habit. Don’t think, just get moving.

End of nights

My cat laid on me and purred for like 5-10 minutes. I can’t remember the last time he did that. I would attribute that to some positive vibe change.

#639

Day 4 no listening

I’m kind of opening up to more titles. Like OG stark. I could see myself trying that one out.

For now I gotta go with Chosen and CFW, because I like CFW, and Chosen is its companion title.

I’m realizing that CFW has some of those Love Bomb and Sanguine components, so rather than add those to the stack, I’ll let CFW just work that out.

I have noticed that with all the crazy going on in the media/news lately, I am not getting caught up at all in the emotional reactions that appear as the norm. I feel like it was perfect timing to get back on CFW and SI. I can see it, but at the same time I don’t even feel the need to comment on any of it. I guess part of it might be seeing that when people aren’t rational, there’s no sense in getting involved if you don’t need to. No immediate danger to myself or loved ones, it’s just emotional argument and name calling and ill wishing. Literally have seen people wishing death and cancer on each other and they’re serious. Over differing opinions/beliefs.

Also noticing my challenging family member seems more self aware of her communications with me. It’s not that I even argued about it. I brought it up maybe a year ago, but didn’t seem to help. Just running CFW seems to be smoothing things out.

I noticed I’m more focused on my How To Win Friends summary audio if I listen while at work. If I play it during the day it’s just like background noise and I don’t focus on it. But that could also be due to taking alpha gpc before work, since it’s not stimulant and helps focus.

Fell off the keto wagon already. But this week was a little unplanned. My dad’s woman passed away so there was a funeral yesterday. Haven’t gotten back into working out just yet either. Still getting better at the whole do it now thing. I heard Brian Tracy and some other guy talk about it. It’s just when you think of what you have to do you just say I do it now and immediately get into action. I still have some resistance to getting into action sometimes. It’s like I can workout but then I want to rest and recover, and that’s the thing about higher intensity training. But at least lately I’ve been getting in the 10 minute bike ride most days if nothing else. Also it’s been easy to start a meditation practice again. I can do that for 35 minutes to start the day.

Feel like I’ll definitely go 7 days no listening.

Maybe I’ll even just do CFW and SI for a cycle.

I am feeling some heightened anxiety tonight. I did have an extra 100mg of caffeine at 7pm, for a total of 300mg for the day. So I am comfortable attributing the anxiety to the extra caffeine today.

End of Nights

At work I got the idea that Primal should get called back up. Primal is winning again.

#640

Day 5 no listening

I think I’m set on Primal now. Trade AS for Primal.

Because when I get to the new year, I’m doing either KB or Alchemist. And I might run the first stage solo, or one title. That would be Primal if it’s KB for sure. Plus it would help lay some groundwork for new Wanted which sounds amazing. I don’t think it wise to start a 3 title stack all at once. Plus I like the idea of running the first stage of a multi-stager solo.

I would like to get to Wanted Black one day. I think that’d require a year of Wanted, for me at least. To feel like I’m ready for that WB.

Earlier today I was having a bit of an internal struggle, Chosen or Primal. I’m sticking with Primal because it has some anti-anxiety and seems to be more my style. There’s still the independent side who definitely doesn’t follow the crowd. I’ll just let CFW continue the healing and give it the Primal treatment. I do plan to take it nice an slow though. 30 second increases per cycle to ease into it.

2 weeks off from the workout programs. I should be fully recovered and ready to get back into it starting Monday. I had 6 hours of sleep last night. Got in a half hour nap today, it was a deep sleep too.

#641

Day 6 no listening

I kinda think me losing attraction for women I was into, could be due to not having LBFH in the mix. I remember times when I was on it and I could just vibe with women. I notice I don’t get into those love vibes like I used to.

So Primal will be interesting for sure. Will bring out some elements that I haven’t had in the mix for awhile I think.

End of nights

Now I’m thinking Spartan is the best third title for this stack. Just let CFW do the healing work and bring positivity and bring Spartan back to lock in on my workouts again for the winter. Spartan is a bit attractive for me with the ladies. I think it’s definitely enough for the winter as I have no plans for being super social or dating just yet.

#642

Day 7 no listening

This am I was thinking that maybe me wanting to go back to Spartan is me not wanting to get out of my comfort zone with Primal. Primal has more social, and seduction stuff, and I haven’t been focused on that. Plus it’s winter and SI will take care of my health fitness needs already. The big push to be in the best shape will be January/Feb. And Primal would just start some ground work on other fronts for now.

End of Nights

Now I’m feeling like Chosen is the way to go instead of Primal. I remember the cool effect of this sense of discernment, I could just sense which people would be good for me. Given the political climate I think it might be the winner for me. We’ll check back after 4 cycles.

#643

Day 8 no listening

Yep it’ll be Chosen, CFW, SI for my next four cycles.

I just want that positivity from the Chosen,CFW combo. Plus I’ve grown a lot since the last time I ran this stack. So I’m really looking forward to it.

Primal can wait since socializing and dating isn’t on my plans for this year.

I’m also opening my mind up and thinking maybe I could run a wealth title next year too. If Ascended Mogul came up, I just might give that a spin. But I could see Revelation of Wealth or Mogul getting a spin as well. I briefly ran Ascended Mogul for a time but that was before Chosen existed I think. I really needed CFW/Chosen/SI back when I was working amongst people.

Ascended Mogul showed good things but I was so beat up from all the judgement and negativity, projection BS, and thinking I didn’t want to lead or have power over others. I just wanted to be left alone and free to be me like anybody else. That was when things really started to heat up in terms of the division amongst people and the program to argue and fight with those who don’t believe as you do.

I dunno. I just think I’ve grown enough to have a better experience with Chosen. I also know that sometimes it just takes sticking with it. Since I’m not around toxic people anymore, I think that’ll help to make it a smoother ride as well. In my personal life things have really quieted down. Walking away was the best thing instead of thinking people will eventually see that I’m not the problem, never was. But I found that that’s a lost cause.

People only see through the lens of their personal realities. When I was in it it blew my mind that some people insisted on seeing me as bad and trying to tear me apart, while others only saw good in me and they couldn’t even see all the hassle and harassment I was getting from other people. It was wild.

On the workout front, I haven’t been walking. I think I’m going to do 3x a week of 15 minute bike rides for cardio now. Then I can get back to my 30 minutes of walking daily. I think the walking is better on my leg days and will get me back into the groove.

Trying out DRG has also popped into mind too. If I consider it, DRG is more appealing to me than Alchemist or KB right now. I could potentially run that first also. My plans for getting to Aeon were about me just wanting to be free I guess. It seems DRG could fit that bill. I haven’t had any crazy energetic things since earlier this year. That was definitely the motivation to do KB and Alchemist to get to AEON. I wanted to go all the way so to speak.

The thing with DRG is that DRR is recommended first. I did a run of original DR. Next year could end up being the year of the Dragon for me. With Chosen staying along for the DRR ride.

End of Nights

I feel like CFW and Chosen will be good prep for DRR. Still feeling a little anxiety at times. Browsing through the DRR thread, I might want to keep SI for the micro looper. DRR seems like what I most need. I think that’s why a lot of the titles don’t seem as attractive for now. That’s also why I’m sticking with CFW for the end of the year. Just to keep at the healing and plus CFW makes me feel good at times too, I think it’s a nice balance.

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#644

Day 9: No listening

I think I’m going to call an audible at this stage. I’ll start back up after 15 days of washout. It just struck me that I may as well do the Chosen Trinity stack for four cycles- Chosen, CFW, CWON.

#645

Day 10 no listening

I am going with CFW, CWON, and SI next cycle. I’ll hold off on Chosen. I want to maximize the roadwork before Chosen. Plus I feel like SI might be that winter title for me anyway.

I gave someone a ride to their appt today. So instead of waiting for them I went to get petrol for the vehicle. I got there and I noticed this really cute chick got there first. She was on the other side of where I was. So I get to park and I get out and realize my wallet isn’t there. I was more disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to vibe with this chick. She was one of the ones that are good at not letting a guy notice they notice him. But I noticed and could tell she was at least interested. But not wanting to give it away. Been awhile since I’ve had one of those moments. I think CWON will make those types of happenings more commonplace.

So I can still get attraction on just SI and CFW.

I’m glad I decided to take a dive into the Chosen trinity, even though I will hold off on regular Chosen. That got me to try out CWON again. I feel like if anything it’s stage 2 or 3 if I thought of it like a multi stager. CFW first, then CWON, CFW for awhile. Then bring on Chosen.

I feel like CWON might help me with direction as some have reported as well. I read some reports from people that maybe it can help you find your purpose or at least give you some direction. Also it will just lay some more groundwork for regular Chosen. Also the emotional balancing and stuff will be great. Plus it does have some of that alpha leadership, plus harmony and positivity. Definitely glad doing all the Chosens in a stack came to mind. I still plan to, just in more graduated steps.

Nights

Lately I have a desire to get stylish clothes for myself. Could be some unlocked scripting from new Primal. Even though I ran it like a year ago. I have been on Alchemist Singularity, and that’s one of the attributes, of it. Also CWON could potentially help unlock scripting and help with manifestations. So I think it should be good. I think those would be a great combo, if not on any healing titles.

My style uptick may also be due to some of that CFW healing. I feel like I wanna look good and feel good. Increased confidence leading to a desire to show that with my style. Yea, CFW also has some self love component.

CWON looks like another title I wish I’d had stuck with longer. I did 4 cycles and then shiny object syndrome got me with new Primal. Another potential dream stack would be CWON, new Primal.

Looking at my previous posts while using CWON, it seems it will be like it has been. As far as cycles go. There’ll be some positives and some potential healing. But I’ve already cleared a lot more now. I’m planning to get to 7:30 on SI, and start CFW, and CWON at 30 seconds and work my way up from there.

I still wish it was a season for DRR. But I’m sure I’ll be glad I’m taking time for CFW and CWON and SI for four cycles first.

For as much letting go as I’ve done and continue to do, I feel like I still need some of that DRR purging. It’ll have to wait thanks to holiday season.

#646

Day 11 no listening

Man! That new Wanted just sounds amazing. For now I’m still set on waiting until the new year to try it out.

I know the Chosens are pretty attractive. I’m coming up on my 4th cycle of CFW, so I expect things to be picking up soon. I actually like that attraction of women who are attracted to the goodness.

Today I’m kind of wondering if it’s time to move on, for now, from CFW, and just go with CWON, and perhaps LB or Sanguine.

I think it’s also the lack of sleep, talking. But it has come up a few times, that it would be nice to just let things settle down. I have been on a healing title the majority of the year. LB would be some healing, but I consider it light since I’ve ran the LB’s so much already. Sanguine would be welcome to deal with the stress and bring those levels down. Sanguine could win out yet for my end of the year stack.

The earth stage from that hero multi stager would be perfect. But I’m not up for buying a multi-stager at the moment.

Right now, Sanguine, CWON, Survival Instinct looks like the winner. I’m also in a period of facing uncertainty with life circumstances. Like my living arrangements, may have to get a normal job, or things could end up staying the same and I don’t have to change anything for a year, at least, hopefully.

End of nights’

I took a look at the GLM thread. Now I’m thinking GLM, CWON, and SI for the end of year stack. I’d keep GLM and CWON to 30 seconds the entire first cycle and maybe just add 30 seconds a cycle.

What I like most about Chosen is that the women are attracted to the goodness as I’ve said. I think GLM takes a similar route. They sense certain qualities in you, and it seems deeper or at least more preferable to just them wanting a good time.

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#647

Day 12

lol. Today it seems like I’ll stick with CFW, SI and bring CWON on board. That’ll give me 4 cycles with CFW again. But I plan to only do 30 second micro loops on the Chosens.

I got like a 3 second microloop just now of AS. I haven’t deleted it off my ipod and I was playing all songs rather than a play list. lol. I don’t think it will be a big deal at all.

Dang. Now I have some anxiety coming up. Yesterday I was able to do some good work with somatic releasing. Just being aware and feeling, though I would say more awareness and noticing what’s coming up for me. I’ll have to keep that up. I seem to have a lot of body releasing to do yet.

Since this anxiety keeps coming on, I might just go with Sanguine, and hold off on CWON for one more cycle. I think that’s probably best just to help out with the anxiety.

The anxiety did seem to come up after I took 100mg of caffeine. I think it’s also having a lot of days this week where I haven’t gotten my 8 hours of sleep. Lowest was 5 and last night I actually got like 8-9 hours of sleep.

Nights

Started the day with some of that positive, optimistic, happy stuff. Then some anxiety. Spend maybe half an hour on somatic releasing. It’s basically Vipsasana if anyone wants a technique. Presence, beingness, allowing, surrender, letting go. Now I’m doing some light workout and feeling back to the positive side again.

Some hypothetical scenario came up from the past. It made me realize that yea, I wasn’t a fighter type, I didn’t think violence was the way. But I wish I’d had that confidence, or some sense of being like a negotiator or something and could solve issues through just talking with people. I think that would have also given me a lot more confidence. I think maybe it’s because I always had friends, yet other times I was okay being alone.

When I got to the age where we were trained that all we had was work, I didn’t have any friends anymore. They were off on their jobs or whatever. So I think maybe I just relied on having my friends as my sense of security. When I got to work I was on my own with all these lost, miserable types. So I got singled out and didn’t really have a concept of people going on the attack for what to me seemed to be no reason. So I guess that caused some of that PTSD/Trauma type stuff around people. So I’m still working my way through that kind of stuff, to where I just feel solid or okay around people.

Then I had no idea that there were the kind of politics type stuff in the work world. Where it’s maybe not best to make friends with co-workers. Now I see some people talk about that kind of thing. Dealing with ulterior motives and people wanting to get ahead. They like the drama, and maybe kind of just wanting to get ahead and they might seem friendly but sometimes they do have other agendas. Even though my experience in work was that I was honest and open just thinking these were normal, good people. I even had situations where people like say a boss, would accuse me of being stand offish and wanting me to open up. But at the same time they were running on those programs that they would just be about those people games and using it all to their advantage and ego stuff. lol. It’s even the kind of stuff where a person may have low ego, and the people with all the ego accuse that person of being all ego. Plus, I don’t even want to have to be around that stuff anyway.

Ideally I’d have my own source of income outside of a normal job. I do but it’s part time. It’s not something that I’d want to grow either. I’d have some other thing to do but have no inspirations or ideas to make that happen. But I think maybe at least space and awareness is happening now. So that still seems to be the direction I’d like to go in.

Went to the store tonight. Was definitely feeling some anxiety. A little jumpy when I saw this one guy. That never happens, lol. The store was kind of busy. Normally that close to closing time, it’s been empty. I went to self checkout, and didn’t see the girl who checked me for a ring last time. It was a female I’d never seen before. Everybody there was in the no eye contact welcome, anti-social vibe. Which is fine with me. Even the female at the self checkout wouldn’t make eye contact, wasn’t interested at all, even looked away when I checked if I was going to get eye contact, and maybe a thanks for coming or something, but nope.

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#648

Day 13 no listening

So far feeling alright. No anxiety so far today. Just like kinda normal. Not super happy, slight good feelings.

The new plan is Sanguine,CFW, SI.

Still feeling pretty alright today. A little tired. Not motivated to get things done, but I feel good enough to want to workout at least.

Feeling ready to start this new cycle in 3 days. Now I’m working out how to run Sanguine. It’s been reported to have low recon and even help it. So I could start at 15 mins but maybe I’ll just do the start at 30 seconds and increase 30 every listen. I’m thinking I’ll do that and keep the other 2 titles at the same times I’ve been listening.

On the workout front I think I’m going to have to get them done before dinner. I don’t have that drive to do it after dinner these days. I have been doing mobility and walking again but have run out of time by dinner. Doing the old, I’ll do it after dinner and that doesn’t happen. I like to relax and let the digestion work for an hour and by then I don’t have that drive to get it done because I also have to go to work yet.

I just noticed I’m feeling some of that optimism and feel like things are possible for me again. CFW is definitely a winner in my book. I think Sanguine will be the right addition to the stack.

#649

Day 14 of 15 no listening

I went to the petrol station today. A different one than I normally go to. I felt pretty relaxed. The cashier was a dude. When I saw him I kind of had one of those reactions where I kinda blew him off in my mind. But I was surprised because he responded well to my easy going positive vibe. I wasn’t expecting that. I guess maybe some part of me still expects to be judged or something. So it’s good to see the positive reactions. When I first pulled in another car pulled in at the same time. The guy looked right at me, he had a woman in the passenger seat. I kinda got those criminal vibes from him. But I went in got my stuff and came out, and that car was gone. So I never saw them in the store.

End of Nights

In the past few days I haven’t been feeling a strong pull like I need some extra healing anymore. I was wishing I could run DRR, but knew that heavy healing wouldn’t be right until the end of the year. So I guess I’m feeling a little better.

I think Sanguine will be a great fit in my stack.

#650

Day 15 last day of washout

Tomorrow starts cycle 4 of CFW, cycle 2 of Survival Instinct, cycle 1 of Sanguine.

I’m still kind feeling somehow about not being attracted to women when I was. They’re the one’s I’ve seen on the internet though. And I go around town lately and notice I’m checking out women in person. So it’s probably a good thing. Instead of being attracted to ones where there are many obstacles to overcome, say distance. I seem to be more interested in “real” women lately.

It’s time to get a new PC and phone. My PC is obsolete in October. My phone has seemed to be losing some performance lately. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten the battery replaced so that’s the first move. Plus I don’t have solutions to come up with that extra money, at least immediately. I can save money though.

I have been noticing an uptick in positive treatment lately. Today I was out and putting something in my trunk. This older guy was walking by and asked me if I wanted help.

That new Wanted looks great for the inner game aspect. I’m almost tempted to reconsider it. But I think Sanguine is the right call.

I still plan to finish out the year on SI as well. Just see some of those criminal types occasionally. I do feel like they’re looking at me but I just play like a normal unaware person. Just maintain a relaxed but solid unaware demeanor. Or maybe it’s that they pick up on the leadership vibes in me. It might actually be some kind of respectful admiration. But I feel like I could use more of that internal zen, or calm, thus Sanguine. So that inner game of Wanted sounds like exactly what I want. But I do plan for a test early next year for sure. So that’s just a few more months.

This guy I see on my social feed, occasionaly, popped up. He had a video talking about he said get a private gym membership. Not one of these public type jumbo gyms. He says because people will watch you and mirror you, lol. His angle is the kind of energy drainer vibes, so protect your energy kind of thing.

Lots of people jumped on commenting saying they have that too but just with people in general. That was one of my things. People watching me like a hawk. Like spying on you talking about you like you can’t hear them. Then making you out to be the problem kind of nonsense. That’s why I hermitted up for the past few years and haven’t gone back into a “regular” job. So I dunno. After seeing that video, and me being years away from that mess. It almost seems deeper than just energy vampire whatever. It seems like maybe some people are on that higher frequency, and thus are affecting energetically the outer world more. But the programming is fear and conflict, and so if we get caught up in that that’s what we get caught up in. It’s kind of about deprogramming that and so you’re at a positive affect. That’s my idea on the whole thing anyway. So that’s what I love about SC’s titles having incorporated that kind of thing. As far as getting out of the programming and going in the direction you want, rather than don’t want.

Evenings

I have this pre-workout it only has 100mg of caffeine. So most days I take one scoop and a few hours later I take another scoop. Unless it’s workout day or I’m doing my Sunday long work day. Today I noticed that I get what I’d call anxiety after 2 scoops. But I don’t if I’m at work and moving. So I I realized that maybe it’s a good thing. Because other pre-workouts I’d feel good and focused and I’d procrastinate. Well with the anxiety I feel like I better just workout instead, lol. I remembered some other people I know who you might say are wound up on energy drinks, they’ll do like 300mg. They would tell me they get anxiety too. But I realized they still get done what they need to. They still take care of business. So I decided that’s the mentality I need with this pre.

I’ve also been doing my 35 minutes of morning meditation. That does seem to be helping me. I think it definitely helped with this realization. That the feelings can be there, but you can still take care of business anyway. I think it’s helping to get better at that. I noticed that I’m getting way better at not reaching for my phone while meditating. I’ll just notice the urge and will bring my focus back to the meditation.

End of nights

I may have to reconsider Sanguine. GLM might actually be the better choice. It comes with drive and other things, which I feel I also need to improve upon. Sanguine might be too relaxed and I do feel like I need to pick up on the action taking. So uhh, probably have to bite the bullet and go with GLM. I’ll stick to 30 seconds for the first cycle. I would just go with Primal, but it’s such a big title, it’s said anyway. I like it when I used it previously. But it would also fit the bill. But dang, GLM might be the winner once again. Lemme read the copy on both titles before I finalize the decision.

I saw Saint mention something about being at peace in a place where people don’t have anything to hook on. So to me that says GLM is the winner hands down. That’s something I’ve probably needed for awhile.

#651

Day 1 of 21: 30 seconds GLM

New cycle! Cycle 4 of CFW, cycle 2 of SI, cycle 1 of GLM.

I felt like GLM was the better choice for me over Sanguine.

I got 9 hours of sleep roughly. But I woke up about every hour starting at 8am. But still I’ll take it.

Feeling like a day to start with caffeine.

I finally got pushups and pulls in after like 3 weeks off. My pushups are pitiful. 25 was challenging. Still on slow wall pushups. But I figure that’s fine since I don’t have a base of pushups at all. For many years I don’t think I did any direct chest work. I guess I was doing like banded punches for awhile but that was it.

I’ve been looking for a nice vest for this one shirt I got. I dunno why I’m still into wanting to buy nice clothes. I don’t go out. Maybe a part of me has future plans or something, lol.

Oh, I’ve also had a few nightmares the last 3 or so nights. I forget what about. Been awhile.

Afternoon

Immediately went to the store after my 30 seconds of GLM. I noticed I’m a bit wound up in the body yet. So there was the physical sort of being wired like maybe a caffeine person. But I wasn’t getting pulled into the mental hurricane. So that’s that new insight at work. That I can feel what I’d call anxiety, but I can still take care of business. I also think my stack, as time goes on will really take the edge off for sure. So I’m already taking action that would help with GLM, I would be anyway. So maybe that’s what makes for a good title, something that goes with your current momentum.

Meditation didn’t go well today. I let myself be distracted by my phone most of my 35 mins.

Evenings

Some feelings coming up. More in the slightly sad type. So I’ll still be tentatively planning for a few DRR rounds next year to start the year. I might even be looking at ROW to prep for EOG after that. The KB,Alchemist, AEON path isn’t so appealing anymore. I think it’s because I’d like to do DRG and DRR comes first.

When I was at the store today there was an older woman. Maybe closer to my age than I think but definitely older than me. I found myself slightly attracted to her. She had nice legs, she wasn’t like a fitness model type or super fit either. So I guess I’m seeing potential in real women, at least women in my own locale, lol.

I stopped at another store on the way home. I was walking in and this guy was staring at me. He was like a hippy or metal head type, maybe music dude I dunno. I didn’t feel any ill intent. But yea, I don’t know why I seem to get some of that. I was also driving home and noticing I was seeing with new eyes sort of. Like really looking at people, maybe in like an All-Seeing module or maybe Eagle Eye module, or even Awakened Perception module.

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#652

Day 2 of 21: No listening

Got maybe 10 hours of sleep finally. I woke up after 2 hours of sleep last night from a nightmare.

I did feel like my motivation to work out came back but I did run out of time again. I just gotta get those workouts done by dinner time.

It’s been awhile now but somewhere along the way I had a shift. If I have a nightmare, I wake up and am able to instantly go back to sleep. So I actually forget them and am not even sure what they’re about. Generally people situations where people are trying to get me or something, lol.

I was going to scroll through the Inner Circle thread, and I just scrolled by the copy. It kind jumps out to me that it would be the title for me over Wanted. I was eyeing wanted for the physical shifting for sure, and the other benefits. But Inner Circle would be a great title for me first I think.

Nights

Got my workout done before dinner. I think that would also help me get to sleep before 3-4am. It’s an hour until the time I’d have to go work and I’m feeling like I could get some sleep. Also probably still “catching up” on sleep after a week of spotty sleep 4-6 hours.

Yea I like the early workouts. Still up late though. But I am noticing how my body feels more relaxed since it got worked.

#653

Day 3 of 21: 5 mins CFW, 3 mins SI

My mindset seems to be more just be patient with the stack. Working through challenges can take some time.

Workout motivation seems to be back. I see all these warmups and mobility routines and I’d like to do a lot more than I probably need. I’ve found that the number one ingredient to make changes in my body and health is just stay consistent. Even if I don’t think I’m doing enough as long as I’m consistent the results come.

Lately I feel like I would be able to do some hiking now. It took a little longer than I wanted. I was hoping I’d be ready for summer, but now it’s just about fall and soon the snowy season. I will be adding more core work. Then just keep improving on everything else.

I saw a few videos where people say the number 1 thing to get wealth, is to exercise. Because that gives you the energy. Lots of these guys say they don’t sleep much. I don’t like that idea, but at the same time if what I was working on made me feel alive and all that I’m sure it’d be fine. Just not sure how they continue to workout with families and businesses. But that’s not a problem I have.

Last night I was having some insight or at least stuff coming up around women and relationships. The women I like, I treat them well and respect them. But it seems I may have to change that if I want to get the women I like. But at the same time I think with SC titles I’ll be fine. GLM will make me more masculine and be attractive, hopefully without having to stimulate negative emotions to keep women. I was also thinking at any rate, I could be fine just hooking up once in awhile. I like my freedom, and I don’t want to do all this stuff, kind of be opposite of how I am. I’m not gonna be shitty just so I can keep a woman I like. I also still not sure I want a women I don’t care about, even though the relationship would be better because I’d automatically be doing all the “right” things to keep her loyal and interested.

Slightly in my feelings today. It’s probably that whole thing of not having the life I want yet. Intellectually knowing it’s possible, but not having realized some sort of real world success yet. All part of the process. I have been more in the do it now mode. Instead of procrastinate I take care of things pretty quickly. A little tired today so now I’m wanting to rest. Still need more consecutive nights of 8 hours or more of sleep.

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#654

Day 4 of 21: no listening

I think my ego is coming back up a little. At times last night and today I was wanting to crush the haters. Lol. Still working through those old toxic situations. Luckily none of them exist outside of my own thought and feeling about them. But probably just some sort of healing.

I was also thinking about the possibilities of doing things in the world. Good things. Or at least what I think are good things.

Feeling a little under the weather today. Almost feel on the edge of some cold or flu or something. I’m confident that my immune system will take care of it. But I think it’ll be a rest day. It’s cold and I slept 7 hours. Feeling a little foggy. Body finally a little sore from the workouts. A day off is on the docket.

I’m wanting to run Chosen, after CFW is out of rotation. I also want to do new Wanted. I’m sure, well there’s a new Ascension on the way. I’d probably want to run that. Still want to do DRG but DRR comes first. lol. But I’ll have more clarity at some point. I’m finishing out the year on this current stack for sure.

Feeling cranky now this evening. I stayed in bed all day. Not feeling the greatest yet.

Little syncs happening. The latest is two of the people I follow are sick today. One said he was sicker than a dog, the other one sounded like it. They have been happening more but it’s kinda normal to me so I’d have to think hard to remember some more.

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