Heya,
I’m Wonders, a 30-some genderfluid poly Scorpio trying to strive in this universe, unlock the secrets of reality, and accomplish my duty, my destiny. Which is, to help unlock the full potential of humanity.
This is surprisingly the first time I’ve used subliminals, I say surprisingly because I’ve used self suggestions and affirmations, learning self-hypnosis and exploring my subconscious since my teenage years to improve my self-image.
Although I started from the very bottom, having CPTSD, a dissossiative disorder, ton of trauma, and a self esteem lower than the low.
Let’s say I’m quite familiar with death, pain, and misery.
I’ve been able to greatly improve over a decade and a half of working on myself, and am now able to make friends easily, to help people, to give good advice, to strive both at work and in my social life.
But even with that, I still have stuff to work on.
- I’m terrible at relationships.
Reason
due to a nasty limiting belief that I am not really worthy of being loved (and this, despite having tons of people telling me how they love me) and so I tend to self-sabotage and go for people that I know aren’t fit for me, and convincing myself that I love them (despite knowing full well that I love them about as much as I love the whole of humanity, a love “like the sun shining all over Earth”)
- I tend to not have enough money at the end of the month, despite earning more than the vast majority of people in my country.
Reason
due to giving so much to people, probably due to some residual belief that [] hard to put in words? this is linked a savior complex, trying to help as much people as possible to feel useful. I also tend to not pursue debtors and to just forgive and forget them.
- I have a savior complex, prob due to belief that my worth is tied to my usefulness and how much I help people, despite fully knowing that’s BS.
- I have trouble handling admin stuff and keeping my house sorted and neat, I tend toward making my environment more messy despite consciously knowing this is limiting.
- I have trouble with schedule and consistency, which is linked to the self-respect, so I know there are things to work there.
- I am working through getting rid of immobility, induced by a false belief that I gotta be perfect that I’m getting rid of.
So, I know that despite that, I got a lot of tools on my belt. I got a great instinct, good reasoning, and I’ve had the luck to get the help and support needed to overcome most of my difficulties.
But yeah, consciously applying the tools is much harder than letting my unconscious do it, though I’ve learned to use my mind to set goals, reasonate about what I observe in the self, and doing the work that I feel is required and use my subconscious for all the rest, finding the steps required, using all the knowledge stored both within the memory archives of my soul (mind-body complex) and in the collective unconscious, and giving the conscious the tools (knowledge) needed when I need them.
From what I understand from experience, is that focusing on a process is much more important than focussing on an objective. Although objectives may be great as checkpoints, but they need to be adjusted whenever they’re met.
Another thing I learned, is that targeting perfection is limiting. Because, if we believe we are perfect, or if we target perfection, we don’t do shit.
So here’s my plan/goals:
- Taking better care of myself, both body, mind, and environment. All of these are linked, these are the foundation of growth. The foundation to sustain Life.
- Earning more money. more money = being able to do more, access new spaces and environments, and so help more people. For now I settled on having an agricultural side business, which would thus also allow me to provide food to whoever needs it and gain new skills.
- Work on public presence (maybe ToastMasters to start with?) and participating in local politics to reduce precarity through public program, allowing greater access to education, health, housing and such.
- Express myself more through arts. I like writing and drawing, though I have trouble starting as I’m riddled with limiting useless self doubt.
I believe these are a good start, and from there I will get multiple new keys, opening new spaces and new possibilities.
really if I am being honest, I already got quite a few of the keys necessary to attain these goals, I only need to put in the motivation and strive, the guts to seize them.
My current skills (self-perceived and reported by other people) are such:
- Good amount of charisma
- Great logical skills
- Walking encyclopedia
- Extremely good memory
- Great emotional skills
- Extremely adaptative (social chameleon)
For now, here’s my planned listening schedule for the coming 12 months:
m01: Khan ST1 + DR: Regeneration
m02: Khan ST2 + DR: Regeneration
m03: Khan ST3 + DR: Regeneration
m04: Khan ST4 + DR: Regeneration
m05: Khan Black ST1
m06: Khan Black ST2
m07: Khan Black ST3
m08: Khan Black ST4
m09: Khan ST1 + Khan Black ST1
m10: Khan ST2 + Khan Black ST2
m11: Khan ST3 + Khan Black ST3
m12: Khan ST4 + Khan Black ST4
I’ve only started 10 days ago so this might be subject to change, but this feels right.
My hope is to build the momentum needed to work toward my goal and seize the plethora of opportunity that come my way. To focus on goal 1 primarily with a secondary focus on goal 2, and to start knapping the stuff I gotta work on.
Well, in any case, happy to have found y’all and happy to be there,
Cheers everyone!
. Already? Alright. I’m happy someone else is on Khan.